Chapter 21

Severus was at a loss for words. What in the world was he supposed to say? He loved Lily, and so he would do anything for her, but he had also despised Harry with a passion and had treated him horrid for the last five years. How in the world was he supposed to get over that? How were both of them supposed to just get over it? Severus finally chose to answer Lily, but he decided to keep his answer more about Harry than himself.

"Lily… look, let's just assume I agree to this, then what? What is Harry going to say? How are you going to be able to talk him into this, and is it fair to put him in a situation like this, Lily? He is going to be most unhappy – you know that. So why fuel an already raging fire?" he asked rhetorically, hoping that he had won his case. He was not good with emotions and awkwardness, which there was a high chance there would be a lot of if he agreed to this.

Lily was silent for a few minutes. She knew that Severus was just trying to get out of it, but he had given Lily something to think about. Was she being fair to Harry? No matter how much he loved them, would she be able to convince him to do something that he probably considered worse than going to the Dursleys? Lily didn't know what to do. She realized that she needed more time to think, and that she also needed to discuss this with James. He trusted her completely to make these kinds of decisions, but she needed to know how he felt about putting Harry in this type of situation, and if it was really fair to him after all.

"Severus, listen, I need to talk to James about this. I know that all you said was to just get out of doing this, but you've actually given me a lot to think about."

Severus examined her face and saw that her forehead was wrinkled in deep thought, and also in confusion. When Lily mentioned the purpose behind his plan he blushed. He hadn't meant to sound like an irresponsible friend or adult… he just couldn't deal with all this kind of stuff. Especially with the other stuff that he had to deal with on a daily basis; the memories… the nightmares… the darkness that constantly plagued him… Voldemort… the Order… so how was he supposed to take care of a child emotionally and physically when he couldn't even take good care of himself?

"Okay, Lily," he replied. "Take as long as you need; I'm not going anywhere." Lily looked directly into his eyes and smiled.

"I know, Sev. I know."

"James?" Lily called after she had said bye to Harry on the mirror.

"Yes, darling?" James voiced, walking out of the kitchen with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for his beautiful angel and himself. He walked over to the couch that Lily was sitting on and sat beside her, throwing his arm casually around her shoulders. Sirius and Iris had left while Lily had been talking to Severus on the mirror. They had known that Lily would have wanted to speak to James alone, because, after all, Harry was still their son first and then Sirius and Iris' godchild second.

"Do you think I'm a horrible person?" Lily asked, looking up at James' handsome face. James almost spit out the piece of sandwich that he was chewing. After he swallowed with great difficulty he turned to her, his eyes burning with unshed tears of anger and age-old grief.

"Why do you say that, Lily? Did Snape say anything to you?" he asked, angry. He had no more prejudices against the man; however he had been known to make Lily cry in their later school years.

"No, no – of course not! Well, actually, he did, but that's not why I'm upset. He just made me realize a lot, that's all," she answered thoughtfully.

"What did he make you realize, Lily?" he asked her, a little afraid of her answer.

"He made me realize that I am a horrible mother of the worst degree possible." James gasped, startled by her answer.

"Lily! How could you say that! We both know that you are an amazing mother! Don't listen to him, please, Lily? I know that he's your friend and he's changed and all, but I still – " Lily placed her hand over James' mouth gently to stop his angry words.

"No, no, it's not because of Sev, James. I am actually rather grateful to him for making me realize what I did before it was too late." Lily sighed. "I asked Severus to become Harry's guardian and help him through all of the emotional turmoil that he has been through, but, of course, Sev being Sev, he tried to avoid agreeing to my suggestion, making up excuses here and there. However, one of his excuses actually made a lot of sense. I had only thought about Severus' protests; I had never thought about Harry's. Their spiteful relationship had been two-sided, however I only thought about Severus' reaction. Does that make me a bad mother, James? Please be honest," she pleaded.

James looked thoughtful for a few moments.

"It doesn't make you a bad mother, believe me; however it does raise the question as to why even I wouldn't have asked Harry's permission before putting him in Severus' care. Does that make me a bad father too, or does that just make us normal parents? Parents do things for their children's benefit without asking them all the time. We are just like that. We're parents too, Lily, albeit dead ones," James said, winking at Lily. Lily felt the side of her mouth turn up the most of a smile that she could muster. James could always make her feel just a little bit better – enough for her to be able to see through the haze of her over-powering emotions.

"I'm going to ask Harry how he feels about this arrangement. Do you think that that's a good idea, James?" James kissed Lily's forehead.

"Whatever you feel is right. I'll go along with whatever you say, Lilykins," he said before kissing her again.

Severus was sitting in his quarters with a glass of wine in his hand. He had a bad habit of drinking every time something was going wrong, or when he was just upset. Sometimes he ended up knocking himself out with the number of drinks he has. This time, however, he was only allowing himself to have the one glass because he didn't want to be useless should Lily need to speak with him, therefore he was trying to make this one glass last as long as possible.

Severus didn't believe that he had a drinking problem; he just felt like he liked it a lot. When Lily had asked to speak with Severus, he had been sure that she was going to mention this bad habit of his. Since she hadn't, he just assumed that she was maybe condoning his actions, or she didn't see a cause for concern.

Severus told himself that he was really happy with her ignoring the whole situation, but really he was very hurt. He was affecting himself and it looked like she didn't even care. Severus didn't let it get in the way of his decision to, or not to, help her. He was still going to be there for her, even if she didn't care that he was slowly destroying himself.

Severus looked at his glass for a few seconds before downing the rest of it in one gulp. He took the bottle and began pouring himself another glass.

Harry was in the Great Hall eating dinner with Hermione and Ron when he felt his pocket vibrating. He put down his fork and spoon, smiling to himself.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, curious as to why he had stopped eating and why he was getting up.

"Pocket's vibrating," he told the both of them, and they both nodded in understanding.

"Have fun," Ron told him, grinning. Harry clapped him on the back.

"Don't worry, I will, mate," Harry responded before turning around and heading up to the Gryffindor common room.

Harry waited until the portrait of the fat lady was closed and he was sitting in an armchair beside the fire before taking his mirror out of his pocket. At first he only saw his reflection, but then his face began to ripple, and Lily's face replaced his own.

"Harry," she said, more love and warmth in her voice than Harry had ever heard directed towards him in his whole life.

"Mother," he said, with equally the amount of warmth and love. "Did you wish to speak with me, Mother?" he asked her.

"I did, Harry. Well… Harry how do you feel about the Dursleys?" she asked him, trying to figure out a way to broach the topic without upsetting him.

"Um… they're okay, I guess? Why?" Harry was curious as to why his mother was asking him about them.

"How would you feel about never having to go back there again?" Lily asked, her voice uncertain. She's nervous about something, Harry realized. The only thing was, he couldn't figure out what she was so nervous about.

"Well… if it were possible… then I would probably buy butterbeers for everyone in Hogwarts if I didn't have to go back." Lily smiled slightly at him.

"It's possible, alright. The only problem is that you might not like whom I choose. Will you promise to keep an open mind, Harry? Please, just trust my judgement. Please?" Lily implored. Harry did not like the sound of where this was going at all – but he did trust his mother, so he was more than willing to try for her sake.

"Of course, Mum," he replied, trying to reassure her (and himself) with a smile. Lily took a deep breath.

"The person I have asked to take care of you… is Severus Snape."

Oooooo, how is Harry gonna react? :D

Sorry for all the cliffies :$

Anyways, I know you guys must be getting tired of all of the fluff and I'm sorry. Trust me this story IS going somewhere, it's just been going at a slow pace before this. I promise it's going to be going a lot faster now. And thanks to the reviewer who pointed that out to me :)

Anywho, I got a reviewer who asked me the story behind Iris and Sirius.

Well. That is a LONG AS STORY. However, to help you and other readers who haven't read her story, they basically met in school, refused to admit their feelings for each other for a long as time, and then they did and fell in love. Iris was Lily's best friend, as James was Sirius'. They were all best friends and ended up dating and everything. I'm sorry, I know that that is NOT a very good description of their story to people who have actually read it, but that is the quickest summary I can give you guys. :$

Anyways, please review?

Please?

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