January 25, 2011

Prompt: Skate

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Storyline: Dear Diary

… continued from Chapter 18

~*Witfit*~

July 5, 1913

Dear Diary,

I awoke to the crackle of thunder and the crash of lightening this morning. The rain outside was pouring in thick sheets, and I could hardly see anything. Initially, I wondered if the plans we had made last night to go to church and Edward's house would still proceed as planned, but after dressing and then having breakfast, Carlisle asked when I would be ready to go, confirming that everything was still on plan.

Carlisle, always the gentleman, walked me to the car and made sure I didn't get wet. It was very sweet of him. As we drove to church, I watched the wipers skate furiously across the windshield, desperately trying to keep pace against the pouring rain. My stomach was twisted in knots and my heart beat rapidly. I couldn't help feeling nervous. After all, I was going to be seen in public, with Edward, for the first time.

When we arrived, like before, Carlisle escorted me inside and made sure I didn't get wet. Just as I walked through the doors of the cathedral, I saw Edward. He stepped forward and smiled nervously before pressing a kiss to the top of my hand. That same tingle… it was there every time he touched me, and though I tried to hold back a shiver, I couldn't. He eyed me questioningly, trying to make sure I was okay, but I quickly reassured him I was fine. He never let go of my hand, and I felt an immense sense of relief.

Well… I felt that way until several people came over to us, and Edward introduced me as "Miss Isabella Swan of Rochester, New York, my fiancée." As the words rolled off his tongue and three sets of eyes curiously appraised me, I felt the knots I'd had on the way there tense and tighten to the point I almost felt sick. I'm still not sure if the knots were because of the way Edward was holding my hand or the way he introduced me as his fiancée – which up until then had been the first acknowledgement that we were in fact getting married – or the way all those eyes were taking in every detail of my appearance. Regardless, I knew my place; I maintained my composure, smiled my best smile, and greeted them politely.

I must have done something right, because Edward smiled at me again with a look of pride and awe. I'm not really sure why he had that look on his face, but I can't lie and say it didn't make me feel great.

Church passed uneventfully after that, and before I knew it, we were heading to Edward's. Carlisle and Esme rode in their car, and I rode with Edward. As we drove there, we made small talk. I had no idea how far he lived, but between the knots and the growling in my stomach, I needed a minute to myself.

Going to Edward's house was probably one of the most nerve-wracking experiences, second only to meeting him for the first time. I knew it was silly, but just the idea of going to my future home, to the place where I would live with my future husband made me feel excited and nervous and a little scared.

But of course, like with everything so far, Edward went out of his way to put me at ease. The minute he ushered me into his home, I felt comfortable. As he walked us around, for my benefit only (since the Cullens had been there on many occasions), I found myself staring at him. He was so handsome, and I wondered again (and still do) why he needed someone like me. It just didn't make sense, and the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to know his answer.

Edward's home was absolutely lovely. It was finely decorated with furniture of cherry wood and beautiful brocade fabrics. There were ornate paintings, vases full of fresh flowers, and delicate lamps on many of the table tops. The thing I liked most, however, were all the windows. I found myself trying to imagine what it would be like to curl up with a book on one of the many window seats or chaise lounges on a bright, sunny day. I knew it would have a light, airy feel… a feeling that I had already started to feel in spite of the dark clouds and the still heavy rain.

He introduced me to Maria, his cook and housekeeper, and to Marcus, his gardener. They both seemed nice enough and smiled just as easily, almost a little too much, at me. But I took it to be their nerves… I knew I felt nervous meeting them. After all, soon, I will be living there and probably asking them to do things for me – a thought that still feels foreign. It will definitely take some time to get used to that idea.

There was a moment of quiet embarrassment when we passed Edward's bedroom – our future room. As I glanced in, I noticed the flush in Edward's cheeks and the way his eyes darkened a little when they met mine. Something about the way he looked made my stomach twist and my heart race. My cheeks turned bright pink, and oh sweet heavens, I thought I might die from heat combustion when his fingers gently brushed across my cheek. His fingers were soft and cool against my skin, which was flaming, and all I remember was the way my body tingled and tensed in surprise. It was only a brief moment, one Carlisle and Esme either didn't see or chose to tune out, but it felt like an eternity as his dark green eyes held mine at full attention, penetrating almost to the depths of my soul.

Even now, I wish I could feel him do that again. It did something to me, and as much as I know I shouldn't, I can't help but wonder what it will be like for him to run his fingers down my arm or pull me into his embrace. I suppose I'll know soon enough… and the thought of that… well, makes me feel eager and curious and scared and… happy.

The rest of my time was spent with him and the Cullens in easy conversation. We had a lovely lunch of smoked ham, mashed potatoes, freshly roasted asparagus, and a dessert of chocolate cake. It had been a long time since I'd had a meal like that, and by the time we were finished, I was full to the gills. Of course, I thanked Maria for the meal, and she smiled sweetly and nodded her head in thanks. I do hope even though she works for him that we might be friends. With her doing the chores, I'll be quite lonely. Perhaps I'll be able to cook sometimes. I think I'll miss not being able to spend time in the kitchen.

By the time we needed to leave, I felt a hint of disappoint that we didn't have a chance to spend some time alone together. I had spent much of the day at his home wondering when I could get more answers from him. As we walked around his house, I noticed there weren't any photographs of his family or anyone. It was warm but didn't feel homey, truly lived in.

Just as I was about to walk out with Carlisle, Edward touched my arm – tingles abounded – and he asked if he could speak with me for a moment. Of course, I nodded and followed him to the other side of the parlor. He waited while Carlisle escorted Esme out, nodding at Carlisle in thanks.

We stood there staring at each other before I broke the silence and reminded him he wanted to speak with me. He nodded and told me he'd had a nice time with me, and then asked if I had enjoyed myself. I nodded and told him I really had. Our conversation was stilted, and I could tell he wanted to say something. After a brief pause, where I waited patiently even though I was very curious what he was thinking, he grabbed my hand and entwined his fingers with mine.

Tingles! Tingles! Tingles! The overwhelming feeling of tingles and electricity coursed through my entire body, warming me to the bone. He took a step closer to me, so close I could feel the fabric of his jacket brush lightly against the sleeve of my dress. His scent, clean and masculine, filled my nose, as he leaned forward, almost imperceptibly. And God help me, I couldn't help the way my body leaned into his or the way I licked my lips. The moment was so thick and intense and so unlike any other encounter I'd had with a man. As he stared at me, much like he had earlier, I felt my insides melt a little before my nerves kicked-in, and on instinct, I tightened my fingers against his. That little movement must have pulled him out of whatever state he was in, because he squeezed my fingers in response and pulled back a little.

Instant relief and disappointment washed over me. I could swear he was going to kiss me, but even as I write this, it feels absurd and improper. After all he has done to ensure we maintain all manner of propriety, I highly doubt he would ruin it with a kiss.

After what felt like forever, I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face when he asked if I would come for dinner in two days. He wanted to spend some time talking about the future. He mentioned wanting to know more about me and my reasons for agreeing to marry him and assured me I could ask the same of him. I noticed, or at least I think I did, the way he straightened just slightly at the idea of answering my questions. I wanted to say something, to ask, but decided to wait. I would find out more in two days.

With another gentle squeeze of my fingers, he released my hand just as Carlisle walked back through the door. He took in the scene before him and asked if I was ready. I nodded, thanked Edward again and told him I would see him two days from today.

The ride home was quiet as I was lost in my thoughts. Was Edward hiding something he didn't want to share? Would he tell me the real reason he had sent off for me? I didn't want to presume any ill intent, especially since he had been so kind and thoughtful through this entire process, but that same nagging feeling I'd had all along seemed to tug a little harder.

I'll figure it out… and when I do, I'm sure I'll see it is nothing at all.

Until tomorrow...