Chapter twenty – one – Best Friends with John

I was scared, there was no denying that. There was also no room for false bravery, it was like Jacob could smell the fear radiating from me. It would make it more enjoyable for him to make me squirm until I told him the truth. So it was best to stay true to myself. I glanced at the big man behind the wheel. He didn't look angry, he didn't look happy either. I wondered if he sent his chosen or his hunters after that defector. I hoped that man was okay. I didn't believe in this forcing people to join Eden's Gate.

"It was a test," I spoke up first.

"Yeah and you failed."

I gulped, playing with the hem of my shirt, "Obviously." I whispered.

When he looked at me I quickly looked away, I couldn't meet his mocking blue eyes. It was a good thing it was dark, but I could still partially see him. It was still a frightening sight.

"You're taking me to the bunker?" I asked, noticing the familiar route.

Jacob turned the radio on, keeping the volume low. The song about Faith was playing, the soft tunes breaking the tension just a little bit. I stared out the window, needing something to distract myself from the anxiety which was building in my stomach.

"I'd take you to the mountains to talk this over but you are John's wife so we're doing this John's way."

I rolled my eyes, "So confess and atone? Great."

Jacob changed the station, apparently, he wasn't a fan of the Eden's Gate station. Then again the family was aware that Jacob didn't quite believe in the ramblings of the father either. He was the older brother protecting his family. Nothing more, nothing less. Rock music was playing in the background now. It didn't help with the anxiety I was feeling.

"You talked to John?" I asked Jacob quietly.

"Did you talk to John?" He threw the question back at me.

I lost it then, "No, Jacob, I haven't had a normal conversation with my husband in days because of what the father told him. He's a good little worker these days. Doing amazing work as the Baptist of Eden's Gate but a shitty job as a husband."

"It might have been Joseph's intention to praise him so he'd be more motivated. It's all John wanted since the project started, you know. I don't quite understand why he's like that. He doesn't need to prove shit to Joseph. His accomplishments so far prove he is fucking amazing at what he does."

"Joseph might as well be the father figure he never had in his life," I muttered.

I felt Jacob's eyes on me, but I still refused to look at him. I preferred it if John stopped being so dependent on Joseph. That was never going to happen though. Tonight's mission might have screwed things up between us. It would probably take more than a simple confession to calm my husband down.

"Might be right, kitten."

Jacob parked the truck and hopped out. I stayed in the truck, it made the elder Seed shake his head at me and walk around the hood of the car. He opened the door and stepped aside.

"Either you get out on your own or I'll drag you out. Your choice."

Swallowing nervously I hopped out of the truck as well. Jacob closed the door and nodded to the entrance of John's Gate. He wanted me to move so I did. I knew it would be highly unpleasant to let Jacob drag me along. I already had a bruise forming on my arm due to that man who grabbed it earlier. There was no telling what John would do to me so avoiding Jacob's wrath was probably best.

"Heard you made those arrows count." Jacob's voice sounded close.

When I glanced behind me I noticed just how close the elder Seed was. It made my heart race. I tried to quicken my pace to create some distance between us. He noticed immediately and actually laughed at me. All this man did was mock me. If I didn't know any better I'd say we were like kids who teased each other because they had a little crush. I stopped in my tracks, staring straight at John who awaited us in the doorway. He stood straight with his hands behind his back. This reminded me of the first time I met the Seeds. He looked as menacing now as he looked then.

"Move along now, kitten."

I approached my husband and stood before him. I flashed him a smile.

"John."

He smiled back at me, "Gabriella."

I knew that behind me Jacob was rolling his eyes, I could practically hear it.

John stepped aside, "Let's head to the confession room, I think we have a few things to discuss." His eyes trailed to his older brother, "Privately." He added.

"Whatever." Jacob muttered, "Let your followers load up the truck. I'm heading back to the mountains. My hunters are chasing that defector, he won't get far."

He said it to provoke me. I turned around to face him and smiled, "Or he might just get away."

John glared at me, pointing down the stairs, "Confession room. Now." He said between clenched teeth.

Someone was definitely fucking pissed. Not lingering around to irk him some more. I made my way to the confession room without stalling. I pushed the heavy door open and held my breath when I noticed how much blood covered the metal floor. It was disgusting, the copper scent lingered and made me sick to the stomach. I couldn't enter this room, John couldn't expect that of me.

"I thought we made it clear that you obey."

Anger rose up in me, "Well, I'm not going to enter this room. It's disgusting. What the fuck have you been doing in here?" I turned around and faced my husband who looked just as pissed as me. He might be more pissed but that didn't matter to me, "This is not right, John."

"I'm doing my job." He explained firmly, "Those whose souls are too corrupt need to confess with a little more pain than others. Their sins will be ripped off their skin to rid their soul of the baggage they carry. Only then they can walk with us through Eden's Gate. You should know this since you've been dedicating yourself to the Book of Joseph."

I gasped when John suddenly grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up. He carried me to the chair in the middle of the room and dumped me in it. He pointed at me.

"Stay or we are going to have serious problems." He warned me.

I didn't dare to move, the copper scent was all around us. I feared he'd also rip my skin of my body which I didn't want. I loved my skin on my body. My eyes wandered to his workbench. I nearly did throw up seeing the pieces of skin stabled on the wooden column beside it. I pressed my hand against my chest to calm myself down. John closed the door to his torture room and approached me. I let my eyes wander my husband from his perfectly gelled hair to his leather shoes. I then noticed the blood splatters on his vest and jeans. You wouldn't notice if you quickly glanced at him. I had the right to ogle him so I noticed the blood. He definitely had someone in here recently.

"I'm not allowing you to rip my skin off my body, just to be clear."

John folded his arms across his chest, "Even though I should be ripping your sins off your body, I won't. That doesn't mean I can let this slide. When Joseph hears about this he'll demand you atone for your mistakes. We do not like traitors, we harshly punish them."

I rolled my eyes, "I know."

"So you knew yet you still made the decision to betray your family?"

His voice was slowly rising, he couldn't contain his anger anymore.

"When my family is forcing someone to be part of it despite them not wanting to then yeah, I don't care about betraying Joseph's trust. Honestly, I'm not mesmerized by the Father like everyone else. I like Jacob and Faith is okay, I guess. But there is something not quite right with the Father and it hurts me that you can't see it."

"Joseph is trying to save us!" John lost it then, "You completely lost it, I don't think there is any hope for you left." He grabbed his sunglasses and threw it on his workbench. His beloved designer glasses nearly broke but he didn't care. He ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it with all his might, "What am I supposed to do with you?"

We both snapped our attention to the heavy door which opened, Jacob stood in the doorway glancing from John to me. He looked wary, his eyes narrowed.

"I'm heading back to the mountain." He announced, "Unless you still need me?"

He didn't want to leave, he wouldn't linger like that if he thought we'd be fine.

"No, you can go home-"

I jumped out of the chair when the sound of an alarm started blaring through the bunker. It was loud and obnoxious and it scared the crap out of me. I grabbed onto John, holding on for dear life. He wrapped his arms around me, the man who didn't know what to do with me still had some love for me hidden deep within.

"Fuck." Jacob muttered, "I'm heading to the control room."

"I'll meet you there in a minute," John told him.

John pulled away from me, grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the torture room. He led me through the bunker, followers were running everywhere. They were shouting things about the collapse and the Father being right. Dread gripped my heart. I just accused Joseph and if they were right about the world ending right now it meant that the Father was right all along. That couldn't be happening the world couldn't be ending right now. I didn't want John to worship that man even more. It would become unhealthy. John took me to a lower level, I froze when I noticed a few children running around. John tightened his hold on my hand, reassuring me. One boy around nine approached him with an unsure look on his face. His brown hair was swept to the side while his mother, I at least thought it was his mother who lingered in the doorway of their room.

"Is it time?" He asked.

It broke my heart when John placed his free hand on top of the boy's head, "It's time. Don't worry, we've prepared for this. You'll be safe in here."

"That's your wife." The boy glanced around John to look at me.

Of course, everyone in Eden's Gate knew who I was. Maybe the entire County knew who I was due to John's promotional videos.

"Yes." John pulled me forward, he let go of my hand and brushed it over the back of my head affectionately, "There are a few things I have to take care of. Could you show her to my room?"

"Sure!" The boy seemed ecstatic to have given a job by John Seed himself.

I grabbed John's hand, not wanting to let him go. Before he could respond I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his chest, "Don't go." I whispered.

He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks to comfort me. I forgot about that little boy patiently waiting for us. I didn't want John to leave my side. I was scared he wouldn't come back. It was crazy how the people around us who were peeking at us were so calm. I guess John really prepared his followers for this moment. No one was as scared as I was. It was a little embarrassing.

"I need to reassure our people and help Jacob contact our family. We need to know if the Father is okay and of course our dear sister Faith too." I pressed my lips together hearing the less excited tone of his voice when referring to his sister, "Dare I say I feel even safer with Jacob here with us."

I laughed, tightening my hold on him, "Yeah, but I doubt his people in the mountains are happy with this. They won't be seeing their Herald for seven years."

"Yeah, poor them." John sounded a bit too amused for his sympathy to be genuine.

I let go of him, smiled, "Go and do your thing." I glanced at the boy who still waited for us to wrap things up, "We can figure things out, right?" I asked him.

"I can show you John's room. It's way in the back and is really cool. John lets me watch cartoons in his room. He has this big TV and tons of DVDs."

I had so many questions about his little story but I knew now was not the time to question my husband. John rolled his eyes, "It's the only way to make them shut up." He whispered he then turned on his heels and walked away, knowing I was in capable hands right now.

"My name is Caleb."

"I'm Gabriella."

"I know!" He turned and gestured to his mother who still kept her distance from me, "That's my mom. Dad is upstairs working. He helps in the control room. He has a pretty important job."

"Yes, but don't mention that out loud." I whispered, "The Father says we're all equals."

His eyes widened, he looked upset about what I said. I regretted scaring him like that. I should remind myself over and over again that these people worshipped the ground Joseph walked on. Just the little indication of the Father being displeased with them would upset them forever.

"Don't worry, it will be our little secret," I added.

He thought it over for a long while, he didn't want to keep secrets since that's what the preaching of Eden's Gate told him. He was probably completely brainwashed by the Father.

"Okay, I guess." He mumbled.

I nodded, "Okay, so can you show me my room? I heard something about a TV and awesome cartoons."

He took charge, marching up to John's room which was indeed far away from the rooms of the families who lived in his bunker. There was even a door separating them. I mean we got our privacy that's for sure but it also showed the mental state of this man. He confused me with his outbursts but then affectionate moments but I'm sure he confused himself even more.

"This door is never locked." Caleb told me when he pushed open the heavy door which led to the hallway to John's room, "John says he trusts us and if we lie he can tell."

"Oh, he can tell." I agreed, "John is very good at telling lies."

Caleb nodded, "Yes!"

I couldn't keep my laughter down, this boy knew what word was praised the most around here.

"You should say it with a little more confidence."

Caleb jumped on the bed with navy sheets. I sat down on the foot of the bed and brushed my hands over the sheets. It was so soft to the touch. It was either silk or Egyptian cotton. I chose the latter since it was more expensive. I glanced over my shoulder when Caleb tapped my shoulder and handed me a picture frame.

"You see, John, showed me this the other day."

I glanced at the picture, astounded to see us together in our wedding attire. I had no idea someone took our picture. I could tell by looking at this picture I wasn't quite there. Blissed up because John wanted the wedding to proceed without any flaws. But the fact that he kept this here meant something. I flickered my eyes to Caleb.

"You are friends with John?"

"I like to think so."

I nodded. Caleb's dark brown hair was almost the same shade as John's. The deep blue eyes weren't as clear as my husband's but they were also beautiful. He was talkative and very upbeat. Around eight or nine. I had a feeling John saw himself in this kid, it's why he couldn't say no to him.

"This is how I knew who you were. John told me about you, he said you are important to him."

"Oh, this is how you know me."

Maybe his parents didn't let him see those stupid promotional videos. I couldn't be more relieved.

"What do you want to watch?" He asked me.

"Let's watch one you like."

He got all excited, jumping off the bed and grabbing the DVD he wanted to watch. He knew his way around John's room. The room which smelled like my husband's fresh cologne. The room he slept in without me. This would be our room for seven years now. I'd get to know his little friend Caleb too. This little guy seemed to like my husband very much. John might have brushed it off but it proved to me that maybe it was time to start talking about our future. Surely the end of the world made him forget about my betrayal.

By the time John came to our room hours had passed. Surely it was morning already, maybe even early in the afternoon. John didn't have a clock hanging around, maybe he had spare watches in his small closet but I was too lazy to look. He closed the heavy door behind him and tiredly sat down on the foot of our bed. I had just showered, threw on some lingerie and covered my body up with a white button-up shirt belonging to my husband. It smelled like him. I kneeled on the bed behind him and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his cheek over and over again. His beard tickled me but I could deal.

He hummed, "Are you getting turned on by the world ending?"

I smiled, "No."

My hands trailed down his exposed skin, I was grateful he wanted to show off the sin which he overcame. It gave me easy access to his heated skin.

"You are breathing on me like some cat in heat, my dear."

"You'll be a great dad, John." I whispered to him, "That turns me on."

He froze. I wondered for a second if he was even breathing at this point. I moved around him and straddled his lap, my hands placed against his chest.

"You will be." I kissed his neck, rolling my hips against his.

He grabbed my waist and tightly held on, keeping me in place. John not wanting to have sex was something else. I knew he could control himself but he never really stopped me before. We had crazy car sex and got spotted by some Peggies who were driving by. They didn't stop, thankfully they kept driving, but they still saw us. He didn't stop then. This was more serious than I thought.

"I won't be and you know it."

I frowned, "Have you not seen how Caleb looks at you? You are his friend, but he also respects you. That is what a father should be. All the other stuff you'll learn along the way."

He shook his head at me, "It's not that simple, Gab."

I grinned at him, playing with the buttons of his shirt, "Did you just call me Gab?"

He flashed me a pointed look, "Your name is way too long and we both know it."

I cupped his face, my thumbs brushing over his beard, "You frustrate me most of the time but I still want to have your baby."

His grip on my waist tightened, he then flipped us over so fast I could barely process what was happening. His hands slid beneath the shirt I was wearing, brushing over my skin. His touch was soft yet it made me curl my toes. He pulled his hands out of the shirt, grabbed my hips and kissed me deeply. He rolled his hips, making me feel his erection. Without warning, he ripped his vest off along with his shirt. I giggled, grabbing onto him and pulling him back down to kiss him.

"I love you despite your antics." I quietly said in his ear.

He chuckled, hugging me tightly. He then pulled away and stood at the foot of our bed. He kicked his shoes off, also got rid of his socks. Only a man like John Seed could make that look sexy. He reached for his belt and undid it, the sound echoing through our room. I bit my lip watching him take off his pants, showing off his fit body and ink. He grabbed my ankle, spread my legs and crawled on top of me. Smirking I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him close.

"This doesn't mean we're done discussing your betrayal. You are going to atone so hard my dear, you'll see the face of God himself."

"Why does that sound so sexual?"

He looked me in the eyes, his blue eyes so clear that I could see right through his soul. At that moment he looked like a genuinely happy guy. His lips tugged up to a smirk.

"I can't help that my wife has a dirty mind."

That smirk totally meant he made it sound sexual on purpose. He knew what he was doing. If it meant he was getting his revenge by banging my brains out I didn't mind. I loved it when my husband was a little rough. It made me feel his love. He wasn't good with expressing those words but he sure as hell was good at making me feel it.