Chapter 21
On Sunday evening, Alexis walked into her apartment with mixed feelings. In about an hour, Tim would stand outside her door. On one hand, she was glad to see him again, because she had missed him, on the other hand she would have to talk with him about Rose and she was terrified of this conversation.
Alexis used the remaining time to unpack her suitcase. Just as she stowed said suitcase in her wardrobe, the doorbell rang. She went to the door and opened it.

"Hey. ... I hope you're hungry." Tim said smiling and hold a pizza box of her favorite Italian restaurant out to Alexis.
"That's sweet of you." Alexis replied while taking the box and giving Tim a quick kiss. "Come in."
"Is it ok when we eat in the living room?" Alexis asked, "I think it's more comfortable."
"It's up to you, honey." replied Tim.
Alexis put the pizza on the coffee table, took two plates from the kitchen and lit the candles on the table. Then the two sat down on the couch, each with a slice of pizza.

"How was the spa weekend?" asked Tim.
"It was great. I think I never have been so relaxed in my life. The massages there are fantastic! And it was nice to get out again and spend a few days only among girls."
"Have you exchanged the latest gossip?!" Tim asked jokingly.
But Alexis didn't seem to find it funny. Her expression was petrified.
"Tim, I need to talk to you about something."
"... Ok ..." He said and put his plate down on the table. Alexis` serious tone made him uneasy.
"Abby told me that Rose is your ex-girlfriend."
"What? W ... Why did she tell you that?"
"The question must be: Why didn't you tell me? I told you that Rose is interested in you and you don't mention that she's your ex-girlfriend. Instead, you tease me about my jealousy. ... Why did you conceal it from me?"
"I ... I don't know. It really hurt me that Rose broke up with me. I guess I didn't want to reopen old wounds."
"And that's why you aren't telling me she's your ex?"
Alexis meanwhile had got up from the couch and paced back and forth in the room.
"I trusted you! ... I wonder what else you hide from me?!"
"Nothing! Nothing at all! It was wrong not to tell you of Roses and my past, but I swear to you I haven't concealed anything else from you!" Tim replied desperately.

"How can I believe you now?!" Alexis replied with tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry." said Tim. He stood up and reached out his hand for Alexis. But she didn't want to be touched by him. That was like a stab in the heart for him.
"If I you can't trust, I can't be with you! How can we be in a relationship if I can't trust you?! "
"You can trust me! How can I prove you that? I know the circumstances under which we-."
"The Circumstances," Alexis exclaimed outraged." The circumstances under which our relationship takes place are miserable! I feel like we are having an affair! No one must know of us! We have secret dates in remote places, so none of our colleagues or bosses sees us together! And without trust no relationship can function; certainly not one as ours!"
"Alexis ..." Tim said gently. He knew what Alexis' words meant. He knew what she wanted to tell him, but she had to say it, so he could understand it.

"Tim, I can't do this anymore. … It's over."

Tim felt his world would collapse. He couldn't lose her. But he didn't know what to say to change her mind.
"You should go now." Alexis said in a gentle tone. Tim could hear how much she suffered. Alexis turned and headed for the door to open it.
"Wait." Tim said, and went after her. He grabbed her hand and held it. Alexis turned to him and looked at him. Meanwhile tears were running down her cheeks.
"I know what I did was wrong. But I would never intentionally do something that hurts you, I love you!"
"Sometimes love isn't enough." replied Alexis.
She approached Tim until she was quite close to him. His hand still held hers. With her free hand she stroked Tim's cheek. Then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him - one last time. That kiss was unlike any previously; full of love and at the same time full of grief. Tim wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Alexis' right hand cupped Tim's cheek, her left ran through his hair.
After the kiss the two looked into each other's eyes for a while. No one said a word. One of Tim's arms was still wrapped around Alexis' waist, with the hand of the other arm he wiped away her tears.
After a while, in which they had just looked at each other, Alexis said: "You have to let me go now."
Alexis` voice was barely above a whisper. But Tim had heard her more clearly than ever before. He knew she meant 'let go' not only in physical but also in an emotional manner.
He wasn't ready to let her go in emotional ways. He would fight for her. But on the physical level he let her go.
Alexis went to the door and opened it.
"I'm sorry." said Tim again and left Alexis' apartment.
Immediately after she had closed the door behind Tim, Alexis sank down to the ground. Leaning against the door, she crouched there and cried.
What she didn't know was that Tim was still on the other side of the door and could hear her cry.
That he was the reason for her tears, broke Tim's heart.