"Do you think she'll come back?" Emily fidgeted with the rim of her wine glass nervously.
"She'll come back," Effy replied, scanning over the menu. "You should get the artichoke ravioli, I've heard it's amazing."
"Eff, I think I should g–"
"You will stay right here, Emily Fitch," Effy warned. "Let her come to you."
"But–"
"Excuse me?" Effy stopped a waitress as she walked by. "Could we order when you have a moment?"
"Sure, I happen to have a moment right now," said the girl, pulling a pen out of her apron with a flourish. She wore her glossy brown hair back in a ponytail, her lips bearing the bright red lipstick all the female Coco's staff sported – it was the only uniform they had to wear. It suited her full lips and olive complexion, which Emily noticed even in the subdued lighting of the restaurant.
"Could you explain… this dish a little more to my friend here," said Effy, pointing at something on the menu.
"Sure." The girl bent down next to Emily, the light smell of her perfume invading Emily's senses. She looked at Effy in alarm as the girl's arm brushed her own when she gestured towards the menu. Effy smiled an evil smile in return. "Grana Padano is a popular cheese in Italy, it's kind of like Parmesan. Seriously, these are the best meatballs you'll ever taste. Although… spaghetti might not be the best thing to choose if you two are on a first date or something…"
"Emily and I are just friends," Effy replied, winking at Emily.
"Okay, well, order away then!" said the girl, turning her head to give Emily a beaming smile.
"Err, thanks," said Emily. She glanced at the girl quickly, noticing the twinkle in her eye. "Could you just give us a minute?"
"Sure thing, Emily." The girl laid her hand on Emily's bare arm briefly, then stood up to leave. "Oops, sorry." As she turned, she nearly bumped into Naomi, but sidestepped her neatly. Then she was gone, leaving Emily looking at Naomi in horror, a red flush across her face.
"Naomi, you came back!"
"Just in time, it seems," said Naomi. Sighing, she took her handbag off her shoulder and pulled out a chair. "Hello Effy. Fancy seeing you here," she said dryly.
"Yes. I can't say I thought I'd ever see you in this place," smirked back Effy.
Naomi took in the double meaning of that statement, rolling her eyes. She'd gotten three blocks, her pace slowing the further she got from the restaurant, until finally, at the top of Ponsonby Road, she she'd turned and begun the trek back towards Coco's.
"So, are you going to be a prat to me all night?" Naomi reached out and grabbed Emily's wine glass, downing the rest of its contents.
"That depends," said Effy, taking a sip from her own glass.
"On what?"
"On you."
Naomi scowled at Effy and Effy smirked back, until they couldn't hold it and smiles broke across both their faces.
"Alright, Effy. I won't be a prat, and you won't be a prat, and we'll all get along like this isn't fucking awkward." Naomi eyed Effy edgily, before turning on Emily. "And you! Setting me up like this…" She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the sky, taking a dramatic breath. Then opened one eye to look back at Emily as her mouth quirked upwards in a half smile.
"Shit, don't do that to me!" Emily smacked Naomi on the arm while Effy watched on, amused. "I really thought you weren't coming back, and that you'd be furious."
"Well, I'm still kind of pissed you sprung this on to me," Naomi said. "But–" she took a deep breath, "–I'm trying to be grown up about this. Christ–" Naomi turned in her seat, craning her head to look for a waitress. "–What do you have to do to get a bloody drink around here?"
Effy turned and gestured, and a waitress miraculously appeared, carrying a glass of red wine over. She placed it in front of Naomi, and gave Effy a wink before disappearing again.
"Err, thanks," said Naomi, taking a large gulp before narrowing her eyes at Emily and Effy. "Why do I get the sense that you two have been scheming about this for ages? At least tell me Katie fucking Fitch is not about to turn up!"
"We wouldn't do that to you," said Emily and Effy at the same time. The three women all broke into laughter, and the tension eased.
….
"She's better," said Effy, looking at Emily across the table. "Than I thought she'd be with this, I mean. I'm impressed."
Emily raised an eyebrow at Effy. Effy was never impressed.
"Yeah… I think we've reached some kind of fragile understanding," Emily proposed, sounding the sentence out loud as though testing its truth. She glanced over her shoulder, making sure Naomi wasn't on her way back from the loo yet. "But who knows how that will turn out. I mean, there are a lot of red flags. She hasn't been with women before, we work together, she's very professional at work, closeted…
"That's all very presumptive of you," said Effy, pinching the slender stem of her wine glass between a finger and thumb.
"What? What do you mean?" said Emily, her big eyes widening.
"Well, firstly – do you know she's never been with a woman? Two, it's early days. She might surprise us both, be okay in coming out with this at work. One day."
"Yeah, 'one day'". Emily gave Effy a cynical look, but there was a thoughtfulness behind it. "Funny, I've never asked her. About whether she's been with a woman before, I mean. I guess it doesn't really matter ether way."
Effy watched Emily in silent agreement.
"She's stronger than even you realise, Em. There's still more to come from her."
"What do you mean?" Emily quirked her head at Effy.
Effy just shook her own head slightly and ignored the question.
"The thing about Naomi, she's so capable, and conveys this absolute strength… but her strength is also her weakness."
Emily thought about that. "I think I get what you mean. Like, she has the potential to do anything, right there within her. So it's more about how she chooses to react."
"Yes, I think. This exoskeleton she's build around herself, while it's made her resilient it's also made her so fucking self sufficient that she does herself out of chances to gain something from others. Because she's not prepared to show her flaws, her weaknesses."
"She's opened up about a couple of things, just recently," Emily said quietly.
"That's good," Effy nodded.
"But isn't that what's so magnificent about her?" Emily slapped her hand on the table. "That her weaknesses are so obvious to those around her who see the person underneath? That we can see her flaws, but her flaws are what makes her so special?"
"That's what they say about true love…" Effy couldn't quite keep the smirk off her face.
Emily stuck her tongue out in response. She was getting a bit tiddly.
"Aw, you're smitten…"
"Fuck you, Eff…" Emily said good-naturedly, draining the last of her wine.
"Who's fucking who?" said Naomi, arriving back at the table and plonking herself down into her seat. "Oops!" She stopped herself from tipping further. Emily could see a rosy glow on her normally porcelain cheeks from all the red wine.
"So, speaking of fucking…" Naomi picked up her glass and tipped the last of it down her throat, returning the glass with a loud 'clunk' to the table. She was definitely on her way to drunk. "Have you two ever fucked?"
"What?!" Emily exclaimed breathlessly. "You're joking?"
"Oh come on, Ems, everyone wonders it. I'm just wondering it out loud."
"Hmm, Naomi, an obnoxious drunk. Who would have picked?" said Effy to herself.
"Don't avoid the question! Have you two ever fooled around?"
"Yes," said Effy.
"No," said Emily at the same time. "Effy!"
"Why?" Effy replied calmly. "Would that worry you Naomi?"
"Well… yes, I think it bloody would!" Naomi exclaimed.
Effy smiled at Naomi.
"That was a test, you know," Emily said. At Naomi's puzzled look: "She was testing you to see whether you'd care, but it's not true."
"Oh," Naomi said.
"Come on. Nightcap," said Effy, slinking out from her seat.
Who wouldn't be jealous, thought Naomi, looking at Effy's legs, barely clad in tattered tights underneath a long singlet, those black-ringed eyes sending out ripples of mystery into the room.
She stood up and joined Effy at the counter to pay, Emily following.
"I've got it," Effy said, and Naomi knew better than to argue. She waited until Effy breezed past her out into the night, giving the red-lipped waitress from before a sultry look as she left.
"You passed, by the way," said Emily, grabbing Naomi's hand and leading her outside.
…
Naomi frowned as Effy stopped outside a small wooden door covered in peeling old paint, sunken into the side of a stone building.
Knock. Knock. Knock-knock-knock.
Effy hammered a pattern onto the door, then stepped back and waited.
Naomi eyed the black garbage bags covering the windows and the graffiti marring the walls suspiciously. The building sat just off the main bustle of Ponsonby Road, but stood in stark contrast to the upmarket bars and restaurants only 30 metres away.
"Why is it that whenever I'm with one of you two I always feel like someone's about to come out of the dark and kidnap me or something?" Naomi gestured at the building in response to Emily's bemused look. "Another abandoned-looking building, Ems?"
"Well, the last one turned out to be an amazing bar, so I think you should give us little more credit…" laughed Emily.
Effy stepped forward as the wooden swung open.
Naomi felt a squirm of excitement as Emily followed Effy into the dark opening. She paused, then turned back and held her hand out for Naomi.
"C'mon Naoms. Live on the edge," she teased.
Naomi took her hand and was pulled into a pitch-dark passage way. She could hear faint music but was more interested in not tripping over something as she shuffled along.
The pressure from Emily's hand increased and she was yanked forward, feeling the sudden soft dampness of Emily's lips against her own. Naomi gasped as Emily grabbed her arse and pulled her in tighter, capturing Naomi's bottom lip between her own, then her top lip, her tongue teasing. Emily ran a thumb down across Naomi's breast, brushing her nipple lightly, holding Naomi as she tipped backwards against the cold stone wall in sudden weakness. Emily broke the kiss and found Naomi's hand again, pulling her forward once more.
Stepping out of the corridor, Naomi lost her grip on Emily's hand and almost stumbled. She was dazed from Emily's attack and unprepared for a sudden change from absolute darkness to light.
"Relax, Naomi." A steady hand grasped her around the upper arm, and Naomi realised Effy was now standing right in front of her, an amused look on her face. Naomi blinked at Effy in confusion for a few seconds, before gathering herself and looking past her at their surroundings.
They stood in an open-air courtyard, coloured lightbulbs strung above them in a maypole-type formation. Red, yellow, blue, green repeated, coming together in the centre of the courtyard above them. People sat at long tables to their left, sharing wide benches. In front was a long bar and to the right Naomi could see people sitting on cushion seats in front of an open fire, warding off the first of the autumn chill that was beginning to seep into Auckland's nights.
"Where'd Emily go?" Naomi said, letting Effy lead her towards a seat near the three-man band playing in an alcove of the courtyard. "What is this place?"
"Golden Dawn: Tavern of Power," Effy replied.
"Interesting name. You guys know all the "cool" places to hang out, huh?" Naomi pulled air quotes over the word 'cool', making her feel immediately uncool.
"Actually, I own part-share in this place," said Effy, raising her eyebrows at Emily in thanks as she arrived back at the table bearing drinks.
"Hence why you'll notice an odd mix of alternative indie kids and ad wankers," Emily joked.
Naomi looked around, mentally trying to put the people she saw into either group judging by their appearance.
"Well I tried to keep the ad wankers out as long as possible, but they always seem to intrude. About six months after everyone else," said Effy.
"And that's advertising to a tee, isn't it?" said Emily. "Always one fucking step behind what's new and cool."
"Ahh, don't know if you noticed, but you're an ad wanker too. So you're kind of insulting yourself…" Naomi raised her eyebrows at Emily, who dismissed the comment with a wave.
"Yeah yeah, don't remind me. I'm a corporate sell-out."
"But you're a nice sell-out."
"Aw, how cute."
Both Emily and Naomi gave Effy the evils, but she was looking over to the stage where a young guy stood. He gave her a nod.
"You're up, Em."
"What?" Emily turned in her seat and the lead singer of the band made his hand into a gun shape and pulled an imaginary trigger with his thumb. "Not again Effy, you always do this to me!"
"Yes, but everyone loves it so much that I'm sure that they keep coming back in the hopes they'll see you sing. I'm only concerned about my bottom line profit."
Effy said that with such seriousness that Naomi almost believed her. She thought back to the first time she'd clapped eyes on Emily in the flesh, when she sang at the Ogilvy Christmas party.
"Come on, Em. Live on the edge…"
Emily glared at her, then Effy, but put her glass down on the table and stood up with a sigh. "Okay, one song. But then you're getting up and doing the next one with me, bitch." Emily pointed at Effy as she moved towards the band.
"God, she sounded like Katie just then. That's creepy," Naomi said. This prompted a proper laugh from Eff.
"They're more alike than they first seem," Effy agreed. "Both tenacious as hell, and with teeth. Emily just takes more provoking for her to bite."
Naomi thought back to the time Emily had confronted her in the Ogilvy bathroom, the Monday after she had thrown herself at Emily in the bathroom of that scungy club. Yes. She could imagine Emily's other side, the one hidden behind her charm and good nature.
"Effy…" Naomi wondered. "How do you even know them so well? I mean, I know Katie's been in New Zealand a while. But Emily's only been here a handful of months."
She turned her head to watch the band members hug Emily in turn, obviously delighted she was going to sing with them, then looked back to Effy.
"You're wondering if you should be threatened by Emily and I." Effy said. "But you shouldn't be. We understand each other. But my relationship to her isn't unique. Emily gives everything to the people she meets, all the time. It's all up front. She's wears her flaws and insecurities on the outer. But underneath – she doesn't come across as vulnerable and weak, does she? She's oddly soft, and steel, at the same time. It's a contradiction in her personality that makes her so likeable. Relatable."
Naomi was reassured by Effy's words, but at the same time she couldn't help but notice the fond way Effy looked at Emily. But lots of people looked at Emily like that. Lots of people thought of their relationship with Emily as something special. She realised now that that was the beauty of Emily Fitch.
Naomi turned to contemplate Emily again. The boys of the band were laughing at something she must have just said, as she lowered the height of the microphone stand.
"And, Katie." Naomi turned back, surprised to hear Effy continuing. "We… used to be close."
"What? You and Katie Fitch, close?" Naomi scoffed. "Now that is an odd pairing. I–" She halted mid-sentence at the sad look in Effy's eyes. "What happened?"
"Nothing worth talking about. Here we go." Effy nodded to the stage.
"Hi, everyone." Emily spoke into microphone.
There were a few "Hi!" and "Hi Emily!" responses from the crowd. Once again Naomi was amazed at how many people seemed to know Emily Fitch.
"So, Effy – the elusive owner of this joint – has forced me to get up here and sing something…" Some whoops and cheers from the crowd. "I hope you like it. And if you don't, you're entitled to your opinion…" Emily leaned briefly away from the microphone, then back in. "And also – fuck you."
The crowd laughed. Naomi smiled with pride. You don't deserve someone like her… This time, it didn't take much effort for Naomi to quieten that doubting internal voice.
Emily pulled off her jacket to reveal a red no-sleeve collared shirt underneath, the bottom tied into a knot. Her hips looked amazing in tight denim jeans over heeled ankle boots. Fucking hell she's sexy, Naomi remembered. As if she could forget. The whoops from a few boys in the crowd indicated that they tended to agree.
Emily turned her head to the guitarist, gesturing with her eyes, and he struck up a fast strum. Emily turned her face back to the crowd in front, nodding to the beat, then stepped up to the microphone. She opened her mouth, and suddenly the atmosphere changed to something sparkling, something electric.
"You're so much different than me
this I know-oh-oh.
And I'm my own worst enemy
Pain is that all I can see woah-oh-oh-oh."
Naomi paused, her hand holding its glass of wine hanging in the air partway between the table and her mouth. Emily was stunning. Naomi had never heard the song before; it was something indie… but Emily's voice seemed to capture its quirky nature perfectly. Her voice lifted to match the end of each line, one hand gesturing while the other clasped the microphone stand loosely and her small foot tapped along to the beat.
"I see you're climbing a tree
And I know-oh-oh
That it's easier to be up high in
The air than on the ground…
Is it love, is this love, now its love, must be love, this is love, yes its love, now its tough,must be love, and its love, yes its love, this is love, must be love, it is love, yes its hard, no its not, must be love, this is hard, no its not, must be love, must be love, it is love, love, love, no doubt…"
There were more cheers as Emily reached the end of the long line and sucked in a big breath, raising her eyebrows in mock alarm. Naomi put her fingers in the sides of her mouth and blew a short sharp whistle of approval. People emerged from the crowd, forming an impromptu dance floor as they jumped around.
Emily pulled the mike off the stand and jumped down to join them on the ground, jumping around joyously but managing to belt out an amazing performance.
"And you say I'd be better off dead
Well I know…"
Emily moved towards Naomi, almost in a repeat performance of when she had first sung at the Ogilvy party, but this time Naomi was ready. She smiled in return as Emily sang her a line:
"But it's no use hiding this pretty
Head in the ground…"
Emily tousled Naomi's hair and jumped back into the crowd, pouring into the final chorus. The song ended with a flourish from the guy on the drums, and everyone cheered, reaching out to touch Emily.
"Told you," said Effy annoyingly. Naomi rolled her eyes but silently agreed. Everyone did love Emily.
…
Naomi watched, entranced, as Emily and Effy sang into their respective microphones. Emily had her hand curled around hers, her lips brushing against the cold metal. Effy's approach was more detached but somehow no less intense. With her arms hanging by her sides and head tilted up with her eyes closed, she seemed completely lost in the song.
Baby says she's dying to meet you Baby says if ever you see skin as fair
Take you off and make your blood hum
And tremble like the fairground lights
Or eyes as deep and as black as mine
I'll know you're lying…
Emily's deeper voice complemented Effy's perfectly as she sang the male part, and all Naomi could think about was sex. Sex and kissing and just more sex with Emily Fitch, because goddamn it if she wasn't the sexiest thing Naomi had ever seen. Naomi's mouth went dry in sudden anticipation. It was ridiculous, really, she thought in the back of her mind. This is what they describe in cheesy romance novels, "her mouth went dry", yeurk. Yet her Naomi was, her mouth dry in nervous expectation of all the things she wanted to do to Emily when she got her back home.
Naomi cleared her throat and took a sip of her drink to recover. As the song finished and the two girls left the stage to protests from the crowd, Naomi lit a cigarette and tried to play it cool.
Emily and Effy joined her.
"Shit. That was crazy," said Emily, plonking into her chair and reaching to take a large gulp from her bottle of beer.
"How fitting that you sang The Kills," said Naomi dryly, blowing out a stream of smoke that drifted upwards towards the night sky. Effy, in usual fashion, just gave her a smirk in return, not rising to Naomi's decidedly understated response.
"What do you mean, Naoms?" A small part of Emily was disappointed that Naomi didn't seem more… aroused. Singing always made Emily feel recklessly turned on, and she'd found it hard to concentrate up there when her thoughts kept drifting to the girl with the startling blonde hair and blue eyes watching them from their table.
"Well, Alison Mosshart – lead singer of The Kills, of course–"
"Duh…"
Naomi continued, ignoring the interruption. "Well I saw her live once, and she never once looked out at or acknowledged the crowd. Just sings from behind that curtain of hair, drinking wine from the bottle the whole way through. I think Effy here could give her a run for her money."
Effy let out a small laugh, seeming to appreciate the compliment.
"Err, not to be a party pooper, but shall we go?" Naomi was still desperate to get Emily home and into bed, and had decidedly had enough of this banter.
"Yeah, let's go," said Emily. She just wanted to get Naomi to herself, now. Her mind was already crawling with suggestive thoughts.
The three girls grabbed their bags and slowly moved through the crowd.
"Emily! You're hot! Come and talk to the lads!" A guy shouted from over by the open fireplace.
"Sorry guys, but I'm off," Emily replied.
"Oh, go on, you've got a few fans over here."
"Yeah, come on!" More guys were joining in, and Naomi didn't like the change in atmosphere.
"Thanks, but I have to go."
"Oh yeah, that sounds like a fuckin' excuse!"
Emily is far too fucking friendly and polite for her own good, Naomi thought to herself. Suddenly, a particularly drunk guy reached for Emily's hand to pull her away, and Naomi had had enough. She pushed his hand away and wrapped her arm around Emily protectively. "Oh just fuck off would you! Believe me she's got far better things to do than deal with a cock like you." She flashed her best death stare at the jerk.
"Ha." He laughed scathingly. "What could she have better to do than to do me?"
Naomi pushed back the side of her tailored blazer jacket, resting her hand on her hip. "Me, actually. And I'm much better than you could ever hope to be. Sorry."
There were surprised laughs from the people nearby. Emily hid her own surprise at Naomi's forwardness in front of all these people. But damned if she wasn't going to take advantage of it.
She grabbed Naomi's hand with a grin and pulled her out of the bar.
….
When they got outside, Effy was nowhere to be seen.
"Typical," said Naomi.
"Yeah, that's Effy for you. She's got that freaky 'appear-disappear' thing down to a fine art."
"Oh I don't think she had to practice. I imagine she came out of her mother's womb without a sound and raised her eyebrows at the doctor like 'That was it?'"
Emily laughed. Naomi didn't often make those kinds of jokes, the ones that only friends could make of each other.
"Then asked for a cigarette…" Emily added, and they giggled. "What do you want to do now?" Emily asked Naomi.
"I'm taking you back to my place," said Naomi, looking at Emily seriously.
Emily looked back, feeling her cheeks blush under Naomi's intent stare. Naomi stepped closer, bending down to meet Emily's lips.
….
At 5am, an exhausted Naomi fell asleep in Emily's arms. For what seemed like hours they had just kissed, from the back seat of the taxi onto Naomi's couch, until in the early hours of the morning they had moved to the comfort of Naomi's bed, stripping each other slowly and revelling in each newly-exposed piece of skin.
At times the intensity threatened to overwhelm them and they paused for breath, pulling back from one another but remaining always connected by a hand, a foot, a kiss. Naomi marvelled in the softness of Emily's skin, and in the more metaphysical feeling of Emily's love as it wrapped itself around her.
Their breathing became jagged as they finally brought each other to the edge of orgasm and toppled over together, collapsing against the sheets in a tangled mess. As Naomi drifted towards the fugue of sleep she felt Emily press a soft kiss between her eyes. She'd never slept so well.
….
Six hours later, Emily and Naomi spent the day as many a couple did in Auckland. Dozing in bed, eating, grabbing a coffee – a hot chocolate for Emily – and getting in a last swim at the beach before autumn gained a more firm hold on the city. Despite the ordinary nature of their day, the fizzle in Emily's stomach never left her. Just spending time with Naomi made her feel like the luckiest girl in the world. And for once, the doubts in her head were quietened.
That night Naomi dropped Emily home to her little house in Grey Lynn.
"Today was amazing," Emily said, standing on the curb but leaning back in to Naomi's Jeep. Naomi still found it super cute that the seat was up to Emily's rib.
"It was alright, I suppose." Naomi laughed at Emily's indignant face.
"Bitch."
"Well, I can't lose every quality that drew you to me, can I?" Naomi replied. Emily laughed, and agreed.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work then." Emily didn't really want to think about that.
"Yep, tomorrow then," Naomi replied. "Ems…" she swallowed, preparing herself to say something very out of character. "I, think I'll miss you, you know? Tonight. While you're not… with me."
Emily let out a laugh, looking at Naomi fondly. "I'll miss you too. Think of me tonight when you go to sleep."
"Okay." Naomi smiled. "I'll try to remember to do that."
"Smart arse!" Emily laughed, moving back to swing closed the car door. "There's no way you won't remember."
"Sure, Fitch."
Emily gave Naomi a knowing and turned away towards her house.
On the drive home Naomi felt a kind of stunned tiredness. The kind you get not necessarily from physical exertion, but from some aspect of your life changing dramatically in a short period of time. Those times when you can't do anything but let yourself be swept up in something, at the mercy of where it will take you and when it will relinquish its hold. She didn't feel quite herself, unused to this life of socialising in the weekends, of laughter and kisses and sex and all the things that bring colour to our lives.
After a long, hot shower Naomi managed to drum up the energy to change the sheets before falling into bed. She lay there for a couple of minutes, not really thinking about one specific thing. Just basking in feeling of happiness, a small smile on her face. Leaning across to the bedside table Naomi switched off the lamp, closed her eyes and rolled onto her back. She frowned. There was a weird glow penetrating her eyelids, a light that was definitely not usually in the darkness of her bedroom. She opened her eyes, and smiled at what she saw.
Her ceiling glowed in a sparkling blue; a maelstrom of tiny glow-in-the-dark specs creating a universe above her. Naomi didn't even have to pause and think to know what they represented. Emily had recreated the shimmering blue of the bioluminescent plankton from their night in Bethells. But how? Naomi clicked the lamp back on, and the colour disappeared, leaving no trace of the effect. Hmm, not stickers then. Some kind of paint? How the fuck did Emily do that, and when? Naomi clicked the light back off, the calming blue glow once again shimmering above. It didn't matter, anyway. Naomi smiled up at the ceiling. What mattered was that Emily loved her. And Naomi finally gave in to the fact that yes, she loved Emily back.