Disclaimer: Own nothing 'cept Kelaiah the ferret.

Kelaiah (the author, not the ferret) was at this moment very irate with the new system of how one's fanfic account worked. He liked the old way much better, for it was simpler and easier to figure out. But fortunately he had figured out how to get to his documents, which should relieve some of the readers.

Celandine the beautiful albeit frivolous squirrelmaid sat before the comment-camera.

"When they first paired me with Bluefen, I couldn't help thinking, 'Why am I being paired with Bluefen? I mean, I'm no Trisscar Swordmaid, but she's not a fighter, she's not aggressive in any way, she's just little timid ferret that barely ever talks!' Of course, like I said, I'm no warrior, but I've had my shares of battles.

"I've gone on a lot of adventures with the other Rambling Rosehip Players, from tricking toads in marshes to fighting in the battle of Marshank, and throughout it all I've lived to tell the tale!

"But then again, considering all the other choices, I suppose its best that I'm the one who has fight Bluefen. I feel pretty bad about it, because so far Bluefen is pretty much the baby of the group. She's so shy and timorous, and yet she's so sweet, its like being forced to fight a Dibbun! Well, being forced to fight a Dibbun with sharp teeth and claws, that is."

"Now then, ladies and gentlebeasts," Kelaiah spoke into his lazer-mic. "For our last fighting duo of the Practice Challenge, Bluefen Sixclaw and Celandine of the Rambling Rosehip Players!"

Now before there had been differences with some of the fighting duos in how they responded to the cheers and roars of the crowds. But none of them were as different as Bluefen and Celandine.

The two were polar opposites of one another: Celandine was, if possible, even more dramatic with bowing and blowing kisses to the audience than Dotti had been. As for Bluefen, the poor ferretwife looked mightily overwhelmed by the great big arena and all the noise. Celandine was practically floating and gliding across the arena, flouncing hither and thither, bowing gracefully and blowing kisses. Bluefen couldn't have been more awkward, she seemed afraid to even make eye contact with the audience.

The Rambling Rosehip Players and Felldoh naturally set up a chant for Celandine's benefit, whereas Veil Sixclaw held up a gigantic banner bearing his mother's name, screaming at the top of his lungs: "MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!"

Next to Kel, Swartt called down to his wife, "Don't do anything stupid! Make me look good, eh?"

Kel slapped Swartt upside the head.

"OW! Why you-!" objected Swartt, except Kel had already shoved his lazer into the warlord's face threateningly. The older ferret grunted and turned his attention back to his wife.

Nonny was still going strong in her weird cheer: "Go Bluefen! w00t! w00t! Go Bluefen! w00t! w00t! Go Bluefen! w00t w00t!"

Rector, aside from plotting more devious plans, had been snacking on Mt. Dew, chewy chips ahoy chocolate chip cookies, and spicy nacho Doritos, but for now he put all those aside to cheer for the final fighting duo. Then out of the tail of his eye he saw something large, black, and slimy. "AUGH!" He ran off full-speed.

It was actually quite a while before Celandine grew tired of bowing and blowing kisses and remembered that she still had to fight Bluefen. But when the squirrelmaid looked at the ferret, she felt worse than ever. Poor Bluefen looked ready to faint, both of her arms crossed awkwardly, her posture drenched with insecurity.

"Don't worry," Celandine called to Bluefen. "I'll go easy on you."

The ferret looked slightly heartened by this, and Celandine went into a fighting stance that she often assumed when she was playing the part of a brave young heroine in one of Rambling Rosehip Player's plays.

Then something strange happened.

Bluefen, who had been standing with a limp stiffness, suddenly became alive with fearsome snarls.

All watching eyes popped out of their sockets as the normally quiet and shy ferretmaid showed off her fangs and claws, roaring for blood.

As for Celandine, well, she was a bit freaked out by this, and did what any sane beast would've done: turned around and ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

Only to be doggedly pursued by Bluefen, who tackled Celandine to the ground and dragged her by the tail back into the ring.

By the time it was all over, Bluefen was on the verge of tears, apologizing profusely to Celandine, who was being bandaged up quite a lot by the healers.

Kelaiah had been staring wide-eyed in front of him. "Whoah," he breathed.

Swartt snorted. "You think that was crazy? You should 'er when she's alone with me," he said darkly. He then muttered to himself, "And people think I'm the abusive one!"

Kel had little time to comment on this, simply because he had to yell for security to separate a two brawling females in the stands: Kenzie was smacking Kalyn in the face with her tail while the squirrel was strangling her; Kalyn had found out that Kenzie had given her a new name: Kalyn Silverfur Sea-Eyes Starlightblade, the Daughter of Ethereal Tempests.

"Kalyn, stop that!" Kel called from his seat. "Stop it right now! Stoppit! Ugh, where is that security?!"

Kel turned around to get the security-

-only to find Rector's eyes blazing into his, the mouse's orbs burning with vengeance.

Before Kel could react, however, the mouse leaped to the side, and the orc that had been chasing him flew straight into Kelaiah, and once again the inevitable happened.

Unfortunately for the orc, Kel had been holding his lazer out. Ah, the poor orc. It never had a chance.

As for Kel, the poor ferret stumbled to the nearest bathroom where he would stay for twelve hours at least, reenacting that one Thanksgiving where all the food he ate over the past few days came right back up.

Rector grinned; revenge was his. Heeheehee!