Happy New Years! Here you go! I hope it's okay. I'm nervous.

Chapter 21: Undisclosed

It's four now, just another hour before Jasper gets here. I managed to shower and pick out a simple but fitted white shirt and a pair skinny jeans that I'd never paid any attention to. The last thing I needed were my chucks, but they were no where in my room. Grumbling to myself, I left my room to go see if they were anywhere around the house.

So I head down the stairs, and the first thing I see were not only my worn out sneakers, but my mother holding them by the laces with a disgusted look upon her face.

"Is this what you're going to wear to the party, Mary?" she asked incredulously while her beautiful gray-violet eyes glared at my converses as if they were the most horrific things she has ever seen.

Hang on... I don't remember telling her about my plans tonight.

"How did you know-"

"While you were in the shower, your Jasper called and told me to tell you that he'll be here a bit early."

Well, that answers that.

Once she finished scrutinizing my battered sneaker, she began to stare at me up and down.

"What's wrong, mom?" I sighed, not sure what her problem is with my attire. I thought I looked decent enough.

She shook her head in disappointment.

"Can you at least try to make an effort, Mary?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, deeply confused.

"You have a boyfriend, sweetie." she pointed out. "The least you can do to keep that handsome man of yours tied around your little finger is to doll yourself up a bit."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my god, mom."

My mother looked bemused by my response, that she threw my beloved sneakers over her shoulders. Before I could save them, she sauntered towards me, grabbed my arm, and began to pull me up the stairs behind her.

"Mom!" I yelled, trying to yank my arm from her tight grasp. "What are you doing? Jasper will be here soon!"

"Oh shush!" she laughed, and I cringed when I caught a devilish spark in her eyes as soon as we entered my room. "Then we'll make him wait! It'll be worth it, trust me! Sit!"

I gasped when she shoved me on my bed.

"Mom, you're insane!"

"Yes, I am." she happily agreed, rummaging through my closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Aha!" she thrilled, pulling out a pink shoe box from my closet. "I knew you kept it hidden somewhere!"

She grinned from ear to ear when she opened it, revealing black ballet flats, each adorned with tiny white bows in the front.

I groaned, realizing what she was suggesting.

"Mom, no."

"Don't be silly." she chastised. "I won't let you wear those dirty old sneakers. These are much prettier!"

"But my chucks offers more protection-"

"I'm your mother." she said, her tone losing its playfulness as she handed the flats to me. "And I say wear them or else."

I glared at her, thinking that I might as well wear them. There's no need to argue with her.

She smiled again as I slid my feet into those horrible black flats.

"There." I muttered, my hands gesturing my feet. "Happy?"

She nodded slowly, with that darn smile on her face. "Not yet, I'll go get my make up kit."

I blanched, watching her run out of my room and then reentering with a giant green case.

"Relax, Mary Alice, it won't be too heavy." she reassured me, hinting my obvious discomfort once when opened the case on my bed. "You just need a little eyeliner to bring out those beautiful big eyes of yours."

Even though I don't agree with any of this, I let her do whatever she wanted so she'll leave me alone.

"My little Mary Alice is finally growing up..." she gushed, dabbing a small amount of gloss on my lips. "So beautiful! Now rub your lips together, baby."

I rolled my eyes, but did as I was told.

"Oh my goodness, you're a vision!" she squealed, happily clapping to herself. "This Jasper is in for a big surprise!"

Speaking of the devil, the phone started to ring. And standing by my bedroom door was my little sister, who held the phone to her ear.

"Jasper says he's here, Mary Alice." she said, her giant bright eyes glowing with envy when mom began to add my lips another coat of gloss, which I finally had the chance to refuse.

"Okay, thank you! Bye, mom! " I said, kissing my mom and then quickly leaving my room. I was relieved I can finally get out of here, away from my mom who has been driving me insane with whole "dolled up" nonsense.

By the time I got out of my hose, my heart skipped a beat when I saw him waiting for me in his car. Wasting no more time, I rushed over and got in the car.

"Hey, darlin'." he said, his light blue eyes appreciating my mom's work of art. "You look amazing...as always."

I giggled, leaning over to kiss him. My body nearly melted when I felt his tongue part my lips. I shivered, my eyes fluttering shut as soon as his mouth latched on to the soft and sensitive skin of my neck.

"Oh, Jazz..." I sighed, rubbing my legs together so I could ease the unholy ache between my legs. "Jasper..."

"Hmm?" he uttered, his lips still working their ungodly magic on my heated skin.

"We have to get going." I reminded him, although I didn't want him to stop.

He groaned, pulling away. I blushed and gnawed at my bruised bottom lip when his dazed blue eyes wandered to my heaving chest.

"Wow.." he finally said and then cleared his throat as he straightened himself out. "The party is at my house again."

"Okay." I replied, my eyes focused on how strong his large hands were as they gripped the steering wheel.

"You don't mind?"

I shake my head, too mesmerized by his amazing hands.

"Umm..then we should get goin'." he said as he carefully got back on the road.

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The basement party was just like before. It had the same old loud music and the same old crazy people, all soon destined to get intoxicated by the end of the night.

The only difference is that I won't behave so childish just like before. I won't get creeped or grossed out by everything I see..mainly because Jasper is here with me. With him being by my side, nothing can go wrong.

"Hey, Alice!"

My eyes widened, tuning out the music and everyone else as soon as I heard her voice.

"I guess anything can go wrong, after all." I thought, holding on to Jasper's hand for support.

"It's just Bells, Darlin'." he told me, squeezing my hand. "Just make things right with her. I'll be here with you."

I looked up at his beautifully charming face and gave him an unsure as I let go of his hand. He chuckled heartily and leaned over to peck me softly on my lips before I turned around to face the girl who I refused to speak to just one month ago.

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It was Bella's idea to take the conversation to a much quieter place, much to my discomfort because Jasper allowed it to happen. I'll kill him. So here we are, both Bella and I sitting on one of the couches in the Hales' living room.

We just sat there. I remained still and my eyes were focusing on everything else in the room but her.

"Alice..." I heard her say, mostly in a mere whisper. I felt the cushion shift a little and I could tell it was Bella trying to sit closer to me. "Alice, please talk to me."

I didn't say anything, but winced when her hand covered mine.

"Don't touch me." I growled under my breath, uncovering my hand from hers.

"Alice, you're never going to forgive me, are you?"

I shrugged, my heart pounding hard as I tried to figure out the right hurtful words to say to her.

She sighed sadly and continued speaking.

"Listen, Ali, I'm really sorry if I made you feel bad last month."

I kept quiet, earning another sad sigh from her.

"You know I wouldn't intentionally hurt you, do you?"

What? Listen, bitch...

"It was never your intention, Bella?" I hissed, my eyes finally meeting hers, which were somewhat relieved that I'm answering her yet scared on the harshness of my tone. "Really? I heard what you and the others were saying about me when we pitching our tents."

Her eyes widened as her mouth opened to try clarify herself, but I didn't allow her.

"I thought you were my best friend, Bella. You knew what they were saying was mean and you never defended me!" I shouted. "You only agreed with them!"

"Alice.."

"No, Bella!" I yelled, my hands balling into fists as I stood up from the couch. "You hurt me that day, and you think a simple "sorry" would solve everything?"

She's the one the stayed quiet this time. All she could do was stare at me as my nerves began to settle, and soon enough I started to feel bad about my harsh behavior.

"I never could hate you, Bella." I admitted, trying not to hurt her as much as she did to me. "But I don't know if I should forgive what you did."

"I'm really, really sorry, Alice..." she lamented, standing in front of me.

I cringed slightly, remembering the height differences.

"Alice, I'm very sorry." she continued, her hand lightly touching my shoulder. "You're right, I should have said something instead of joining in. But you're still my best friend, and I still love you."

I felt my nose tingle uncomfortably as my eyes began to moisten. It would be too easy to forgive her now, but I did promise Jasper I'd talk things out with her. I just don't think I could let it go. She hurt me...I'm tired of letting people hurt me.

"I love you too, Bella." I told her, my voice nearly cracking. "I just don't know if we should be what we used to be..."

"Alice.."

"You hurt me, Bella." I croaked, feeling my mom's work smudging as a couple of tears dropped. "You really did."

"Alice, I didn't mean-"

"You fucking meant it!" I shrieked, completely not caring for any of her sad excuses. "You knew me for how long, Bella? How long? Wait, I'll answer for you! Since fucking high school! And this is how much our friendship means to you? Over some stupid boy?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Don't bring Edward in this, Alice."

"Oh, you defend him, right?" I retorted, my anger spiking to the point where heat is coming out of my ears. "I wish you would defend me like that when he spoke shit about me!"

"Oh my god, Alice, you're overreacting."

"I'm not fucking overreacting!" I shouted, taking back what I said to her earlier. I don't love her at all. Right now, I hate her. "You defended that asshole! You fucking hurt me, Bella! And you know what? I don't think you're really sorry at all!"

"Alice, come on..."

"You wanted to hurt me more, is that right?" I snarled, my tears blinding me. "Is that right, Bella? Before it wasn't enough?"

I heard her sigh in frustration.

"You think I deserve more of it, do you?" I yelled, my mind completely shutting every that is happening at this very moment.

I closed my eyes, letting all the hurt, pain, and rage wash all over me. It was dark again. I'm scared now. A pained whimper escaped my lips when I felt my insides being torn apart. Over and over again.

"You want to hurt me more, don't you?" I rasped, shutting my eyes tighter to escape the horrible pain. "You don't think this punishment is enough?"

"Alice, are you okay?"

Even through this horrible intense pain, I laughed.

"Really? Why are you asking me that? You shouldn't care, you're the one who's raping me."

"Sorry...What...Alice?"

"Oh stop talking." I told the monster, my body growing weak as he continued violating me. "Just hurry and take what you've always wanted."

"Alice, what the hell are you talking about?"

I cried, feeling his hard fingers dig into my shoulders.

"Don't worry about it, dad." I sobbed. "Just hurry."

"Alice..."

"Please, you're hurting me."

I heard a gasp, and that's when I opened my eyes. In front of me stood a concerned Bella Swan with her hands glued on my shoulders. I raised an eyebrow when her brown eyes began to glisten. Her hold on my shoulders tightened as if she were afraid I'd run away from her.

"Ali, I'm so sorry..." she uttered, her eyes boring into mine. "I had no idea..."

I continued to stare at her while remembering what had just happened. All I know is that one minute we were talking and then another minute I was yelling at her, and then another minute passed...

My eyes widened in horror. I looked at Bella again, who is now practically in tears. Shit, she knows.

What have I done?

How could this happen?

This wasn't supposed to happen!

The blood running in my veins froze. Now I felt cold. I felt embarrassed. I felt shameful.

What have I done?

All I wanted to do now was lock myself somewhere and never show my face again.

How could I let that slip?

Horrified at what I've accidentally spilled, I threw Bella's hand off my shoulders and ran. I ignored her calls and pleas, and ran up the stairs until I found the nearest door. I opened it and slammed it hard behind me before hastily hiding myself under a bed.

I closed my eyes and curled myself in a fetal position. Holding my legs to my chest, I began to cry. I didn't care if my eye make up looked horrible or not. All I cared now was how much I wanted to die. I just want to put an end to this misery.

I held my breath when I heard voices right outside the door. I held myself tighter. I didn't want to be bothered. All I want is to be left alone. I really can't take this.

"Jasper, just be careful with her." I heard Bella say. "She's very fragile right now."

Just when I thought it couldn't get even worse. Jasper knows too. Bella must have told him. Fuck.

"Are you sure you saw her go in here?" He asked her. I shuddered, hearing how angry his voice sounded.

Great. Now that he knows, there's no point of him liking me anymore. I must disgust him now. Knowing that someone had already used me is probably making him sick to his stomach.

"I'm sure." she answered. "But I don't know, Jasper. Maybe we should give her some time..."

I heard him swear under his breath as the door closed and then everything went silent. I closed my eyes, relieved that he listened to Bella. She's right though, I really do need some time alone.

"What more time do you need?"

That damn annoying voice in my head really isn't helping me at all.

"Say it with me, Alice. 8 years."

No. I won't say it.

"Need I remind you that you had kept this secret for 8 years?"

I did.

"All those years you've been suffering alone, and yet you still think you need more time?"

I nodded, feeling the tears spill again.

"Well, it's time to fight, Alice."

I whimpered, holding my legs closer to my chest. I don't want to.

"It's time."

For the zillionth time, the tears began to pour and my whole body began to tremble. I closed my eyes as I silently wept. That annoying voice is right. I've suffered for so long. It's time I act. I can't do this anymore.

I choked back a sob when a large hand carefully pulled me out from under the bed. I could have fought it off, but I was too tired. I was too weak. So instead of panicking, I continued on crying.

"Shush, it's okay, darlin'."

My cries were muffled when I was pressed against something incredibly warm and hard. I felt a hand stroke the back of my head as I cried, while the other gently rubbed the small of my back.

"No one's gonna hurt you again."

"Promise?" I sobbed, tilting my head up to look into the sad, yet gentle blue eyes of my Southern gentleman.

The hand that held the back of my head to his chest, moved to gently caress my wet cheek. I whimpered pathetically when he bent his head so that his lips could almost brush against mine.

"I promise, darlin'." he whispered and then softly kissed me.

I was overwhelmed by this. How could he still hold me and kiss me like this? I've been used. I've been ripped in half. How could he not be disgusted by me?

"I'm sorry, Jasper...I'm really sorry..." I cried, pulling away from him, too ashamed to deserve any form of comfort and endearment he was giving me.

"Alice, please." he said, his hold tightening, while placing chaste kisses on both my cheeks. "Just stay."

"Jasper..." I uttered, not understanding why he's still embracing me. "I'm used...you don't want me...I'm sorry."

"Alice, stop." he affirmed, taking my face between his hands.

I bit my lip as more tears came, but were soon wiped away with his thumbs.

"Look at me."

I didn't want to.

"Stop crying, and look at me, Alice." he repeated, his voice demanding.

I stopped automatically and looked at him. I began to calm a little when his fingers started their gentle strokes on my wet cheeks.

"Listen, darlin'." he said, his eyes stern but caring at the same time. "There's no way in hell you would think that I wouldn't want you because of what that bastard did to you."

I had to cringe when those horrible memories played in my head.

"Alice, listen to me when I say this." he continued. "I would always want you, baby."

"You do?" I asked in utter disbelief. "But I'm damaged...I'm used..."

"Darlin', the way I see it..." he said, bending his head once more, "you're were never damaged. You're still the same tiny, sweet, beautiful, innocent girl I fell for since you pulled my hair in Walmart."

I didn't know what to say. I was too overwhelmed with so much grief that I threw myself back in his arms. He only held me, both his hands caressing back and my head as I let my emotions take control.

Give me your honest opinion, because this was kind of difficult for me to write. I'll be happy to redo this chapter, okay?

Enjoy the New Years, everyone!