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A/N: So here's the next chapter, and as promised there will hopefully be another chapter posted saturday. Hope you like it :)
Electric light beamed down on me, and I groaned against the brightness. My mind was clearing from the fog of my fainting spell; it reminded me of the rush of senses that happened when I jumped. I sat up bleary eyed as muffled voices started to clear around me.
"Miss St Clair, you need lay down a little while longer, let your body recuperate." A female voice interrupted my mind and soft hand eased me back down into my bed.
The movement made my head swirl and my eyes focus wavered sluggishly making the pastel green walls merge in a sickly way. A few minutes passed as I lay with my eyes closed, waiting for the room to stop spinning.
"Miss St Clair? I'm Dr Jones." A masculine voice spoke, and I open my eyes again to look upon a man in a white coat looking over a clipboard. He looked up and smiled as I heaved myself up from my pillow. I could feel my hair unfurling from the slightly tattered mess it had become whilst I was unconscious.
"Well, thank you for your help, Dr Jones. I'm feeling fine now, I promise. I could probably leave now actually." I fiddled with the sheets and started to remove myself from this embarrassing situation. I was very much aware of the fact that I had fainted unexpectedly in the middle of the library, but I was anxious to move on and forget about it.
"I'd prefer if you would let me check you over first, Miss St Clair, or should I call you Sarelle?" He peeked up from his focus of my chart and smiled warmly as he tried to get me to stay.
"Sarelle will be fine. Thank you." I replied quietly as I flopped back onto the bed in frustration, earning me a small laugh from Dr Jones.
"Shouldn't you be in school, Sarelle?" he asked, and I looked up to see his eyebrow quirk as he questioned me. I panicked slightly and my eyes locked with his navy ones.
"I'm homeschooled." I focussed on his eyes as I willed him to believe me. I relaxed instantly as he nodded in a slight daze. I had never fully understood how I could affect people, but I was glad it worked.
"Please can I go? I have quite a lot to do," I said. It wasn't that I wasn't grateful for the help they had given me, it's just I couldn't risk them asking any questions about my home life or circumstances. I had managed to survive months in this place without people asking too many questions about how I lived. I didn't want the one person to learn the truth of my parentless existence to be a doctor who had the ability to report me to the social services and change everything about the life I had grown to love.
"Well, I would like to have a better look at you. Dr Cullen was the attending resident when you came in, but he had to leave with a family issue, you haven't really been seen properly." As he finished checking over my chart he came round and collected the usual vitals: pulse, pupils, blood pressure. While he was gathering an understanding of my physical state, I was reeling at the information he had given me.
'Dr Cullen.'
Was it just a coincidence that he had the same surname as Carlisle?
I found it unlikely, but if the same doctor that had attended to me was the same man I had lived with as a young girl, as well as being the vampire I had said my goodbyes to in the forest of Tennessee, then it left me with the conclusion that this small town of Belmore was fast becoming a ghost town.
A ghost town in which my past was taking up residence around me.
How many more of my past friends or foes would end up living as my neighbours and entering my life once again?
"Sarelle, are you ok? You seem a little pale," Dr Jones asked, and I shook off his concern.
"I feel good as new, thank you. As for being pale, I'm always pale." I smiled in jest, and Dr Jones chuckled at my comment.
"Well at least the faint didn't affect your spirit. I'll just sign your chart and get you to fill out this form, and then you can go home. Are your parents coming to pick you up?"
"Oh no, they'll be busy. I'll just have a friend walk me home." He reluctantly passed a form to me, and I filled out what I could, which was generally just my name and bank details since I had no insurance.
I didn't have a phone number.
I didn't know my address, and even if I did I could hardly admit to living in a house that legally wasn't mine.
I couldn't fill out my family details or any guardian numbers.
In other words, I left the hospital as soon as Dr Jones left me alone, leaving a relatively blank form behind on my bed.
I may have been free of the fog that the faint had temporarily placed on me, but I instead had to deal with the fact that Edward Masen lived somewhere in this town as a vampire. There was also a strong possibility that he was staying with Carlisle Cullen who was also a vampire and had been in the company of two women and another man when I last saw him in the forest. All of whom were vampires.
As I walked through the town in my daze I wondered if the residents had any idea of the supernatural beings that inhabited their small sleepy town.
As small children skipped by with their mother, I came to the firm conclusion that they didn't.
* * * * *
After my fainting spell the days passed in fits of sluggish seconds and racing hours. The passing of time didn't do anything to ease the agitated questions that occupied my mind.
There was so much that was unexplained, and I feared I'd never get any answers. Some would think that knowing what Edward was would stop my mind from puzzling over his actions, but it didn't. Instead my mind just focussed on how he had come to be a vampire.
He still seemed to be young, not quite a man, so I couldn't help but ponder how his disappearance would have effected Elizabeth and Edward Snr. In truth, I already knew the answer to that question. It would have destroyed them. Edward had been the apple of their eye, the centre of their universe, so I could only imagine the grief they would have felt at losing him.
The next query to cross my mind was how. How had this even happened to him? Aslo had never explained how a person got changed into a vampire, but I knew it required another vampire. Did that mean that Carlisle was Edward's sire, and therefore the reason he had been taken away from his family?
If this was the case I felt a flash of anger towards the man I had once respected and looked up to. I didn't want to think of him badly, but I couldn't find any part of tearing Edward from his parents to be a good thing.
When I thought of the other vampires I had briefly seen Carlisle with, I felt a bout of hysterical humour spark in me. The neighbouring town of Salem had a well known legend of witches. I found it fitting that Belmore had its own supernatural beings, the Belmore vampires.
I chuckled at the thought as I went back to reading about such legends from the large dusty book I had found at the library.
My encounter with Edward had sparked a strange fascination in the supernatural, so I had raided the shelves of myths and legends in a hope it would distract me a little from the real immortal residents here.
I had already read five books and it had done nothing but increase my thirst to understand.
However, I was trapped in limbo because, as much as I wanted to talk with Edward and understand what had happened, I feared his reaction. Our last meeting hadn't been particularly cordial.
Also, there was the fact that it was highly likely he wouldn't know who I was.
Finally, and most importantly, he had vanished from sight.
I never saw him around town or in the library, and I could hardly try to find him. He was a vampire, so I doubted he would be found easily.
I had no choice but to sit, wait and hope that I would have a chance to see him again.
Strangely, it was fast becoming something I had to do.
* * * * *
After days of contemplating my next move, I eventually walked into the library minus the tension I had experienced over the past week.
I greeted Steven politely and walked straight to the aisle of my choice.
I had never had a chance to read 'The History of Musical Greats' so I headed to find it.
As I stood in the narrow aisle I skimmed the book spines for the thick black volume I wanted.
I sighed in frustration when I couldn't find it, but my sigh soon choked up when I heard a quiet musical voice clear next to me.
"Excuse me; is this what you are looking for?" I straightened out to stand before the immortal version of Edward.
His eyes weren't coal black; they weren't even the ruby red I had learnt to associate with vampires. Instead they were an extraordinary molten gold. Part of me missed the bright emerald green hue they used to be, but the majority was too busy admiring his new appearance. I didn't know if it was immortality, or just because he had grown up, but he was now the kind of boy that captured a girl's eye and caused her heart to pound loudly.
I had to remind myself that he was still little Edward beneath the predatory beauty.
I swallowed loudly as my throat had run dry with nerves.
"Yes, thank you," I whispered, slightly breathless.
"My name is Edward Cullen," he said with a polite mask on his face as he watched me carefully. I thought I saw his eyes cascade over my body, but it was such a swift action I couldn't be certain.
"I see you're in a better mood today," I said, and I couldn't stop the haughty tone from entering my voice. At least it didn't seem to anger him because he stood beside me with a slight friendly smile playing on his dazzling face.
"Yes, something like that. I apologise for my behaviour the last time we met. I was not myself." His voice was perfectly polite, and I knew he had no idea who I was. The conversation wouldn't feel this awkward if he did, or at least that's what I hoped. Perhaps he did recognise me and the shock of seeing me practically unchanged forty years later was the cause of this stilted interaction.
"I was only joking, Edward. There was no need for an apology, but thank you anyway. Since you introduced yourself, I believe etiquette requires me to do the same. I'm Sarelle St Clair," I said, and turned back to the end of the aisle. As I left to find a large leather couch to situate myself on, I thought I heard his quiet voice whisper the words, 'I know'.
Once I had myself settled into the chocolate brown leather, and felt the way the supple leather hugged my slim frame, I opened up the book and ignored the sight of Edward's lean figure coming to sit in a seat a few metres away.
I tried to read
I tried to ignore the way he watched me, but it seemed an impossible task. His gaze held too much temptation, and I found myself spending more time trying to fight the urge to meet his eyes than actually reading.
Eventually, I gave up and went to return it to the shelf only to find his presence near me once again.
We both stood ignoring the other whilst still in complete awareness.
I looked over the titles, but they all just blurred together due to my lack of concentration.
"May I make a suggestion?" I stood immediately with a slight sigh. He didn't wait for my reply before he offered a book into my hands, 'The Works of Claude Debussy.'
"It would be a fine choice if I hadn't already read it. It was one of my first book choices. When I came here."
"When did you first arrive?"
"Some time back in October. I can't be sure exactly because time tends to blur a little." I sighed and fiddled with the book in my hands.
"So you like Debussy?" he asked with honest interest in his voice, somehow I didn't feel too disorientated by the abrupt change of subject.
"He is one of my favourites; I especially love Clair de Lune. His music reminds me of my old home. As strange as that may sound." I said, as I replaced the book on the shelf, smiling at the memories of listening to Debussy with Renée and Bella, and sitting on my father's lap as he played it after dinner.
I looked up at Edward and saw the distant look on his face as if he was remembering memories similar to my own. I wondered if he could remember the first time I had played it to him, when we had sat at the piano together on the day I came to visit. Then again he was only nine years old, so it was unlikely that the memory would register in his mind.
I watched him as he inhaled gently, and I noticed the way his hands clenched slightly as he returned his gaze to me, a silent war fighting behind his irises.
"I wouldn't say it was strange at all. In fact, I have a similar feeling." His eyes had settled from their mild frenzy and now held a small glint of sadness. I wondered if he remembered enough to miss his parents. I knew what it felt like to be pulled from your family and life without consent.
"You don't live with your family anymore," he said, and I noticed that he didn't say it as a question.
"No I don't. They died when I was nine, but keep it quiet, no one around here knows," I whispered in a voice of mock conspiracy.
"Your secret's safe with me." He smirked, and I smiled slightly at his more relaxed frame of mind.
"So, in turnabout, do you have any dark secrets?" I kept my voice light and teasing, but I could see his mind registered the serious meaning below the light heartedness.
"More than I care to mention," he muttered, and the air around us seemed to grow heavier by the second. We stood in a short loaded silence while I alternated between looking at the books and sending furtive glances at Edward.
His face was set in a mask of frustration as if something about my presence irritated him.
I huffed and picked up the first book that hit my fingertips, anything to escape the tension between us.
"It was nice to meet you, Sarelle." He said with a small smile.
"And you, Edward." ...Again.
* * * * *
Over the next few days I tried desperately to live life as normal, but it was useless. My routine had been drastically interrupted. I would find myself switching between wanting to visit the library more in a hope of seeing Edward, and then panicking that I was effectively chasing danger. It seemed my last interaction with Edward had sparked something I wasn't sure I understood.
I had read so many novels that talked of love and companionship, but the way I felt for Edward was not the carefree feeling the character's portrayed. It was terrifying.
It had shaken up everything in my being and turned it on its head. The version of me that was once calm and collected was now too mixed up to understand what I felt.
I was caught between conflicting emotions.
Firstly, he was Edward, little Edward Masen. The boy I had teased and played with as if I was his older sister. Therefore, I couldn't help but feel that my emotions towards him were wrong. Perhaps I was mistaking the feeling of home and comfort that he portrayed for something more. Surely it was wrong to feel this way for a boy who was once five years younger than me, no matter that he was now roughly three years older.
Secondly, he was a vampire, and so I could hardly imagine that he would find any interest in me other than a walking, talking meal. I knew that Aslo had been able to fall for a human, but he had been alone for many years and had practised denying his thirst. I couldn't be sure that Edward had as much experience. Was this allure I felt for him just a by-product of his nature? Was the unknown feeling in my heart worth the risk it would place on my life?
As I marched my way determinedly towards the library doors I felt the decision form in my head.
Yes, for how could I deny this pull I felt towards him? Whatever its reason may be.
The large doors creaked and boomed as they shut behind me. I saw several people give me irritated looks at my erratic entrance.
Steven gave me a smile but I saw the puzzlement in his eyes. No doubt my own were slightly wild and glassy due to my sudden burst of decisiveness. My mind and body knew my decision to allow myself to get closer to Edward was dangerous, but my soul disregarded it all for the chance to experience the emotion I felt when I was near him. The rush that seems to make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time; the thrill that makes me feel more alive than when I'm not in his presence; the buzz the adrenaline gives me as it pumps through my body all because his eyes are on me, predatory of otherwise. None of it was rational, logical, or realistic, but my mind no longer functioned in a way that was rational, logical, or realistic. It was as if a spell had been cast and I could do nothing but endure the emotions it made me feel.
I breathed in a deep breath and passed Steven to head towards the fantasy section. My mind felt the need to flex its imagination.
I felt my racing heart start to ease back into a comfortable rhythm as my fingertips danced across the books, skimming up the alphabetical order until I found my choice.
I plucked it from the shelf with a smile on my face and spun happily to settle myself in my favourite couch by the large window. I didn't get far as I walked straight into what felt like a wall but turned out to be Edward's stone figure.
As my body ricocheted off his Edward's hands caught me and stopped my body from stumbling to the ground.
His cold hands released my almost instantly with a small apology slipping from his lips in a soft voice. I smiled my own apology and ducked my head to hide the small blush that had appeared due to his proximity.
"I see you're back again," I said as I adjusted myself from my flustered state.
"Yes, as are you." Edward replied, and I liked the smile I heard in his voice.
"I'm a bit of a bookworm, what's your excuse?" I looked up at his eyes as they watched me intensely. Everything about him was intense, and I feared that if I truly gave in to this gravitational force that pulled me to him, I would end up drowning in everything he was. I looked away in shame at my thoughts. How could I possibly have these crush like feelings for a boy I had loved like a brother? It was wrong.
...But something in my soul felt too right for me to just walk away from him.
"What causes you to think I'm any different?" His head tilted to the side a little as he watched me, and I tried to ignore the fact that we were standing in a slightly darkened aisle and his body was preventing me from leaving. That's if I even wanted to.
"I don't ever see you actually reading. This leads me to think that you have ulterior motives." I grinned at him, and his face showed a short flash of panic before it settled into a relaxed mask.
"Perhaps," he said, and my eyes caught the movement that brought him just a millimetre closer.
I knew it was dangerous to have him this close.
It was dangerous to still want to be here even though he was so close.
It was dangerous to want to have him this close more often.
It was dangerous to want to have him a regular part of my life.
Edward registered my nervous action of biting my lip and shifted his weight away from me again. An act I both welcomed and resented in equal measure.
"What is your choice for today?" he said as he peered down to study the book cover that was slightly hidden due to being held at my chest.
"I thought I would try Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray. You know the tale of a young man that never ages due to a curse placed upon him. I thought it sounded a fascinating story."
"An interesting choice, why did you choose it?" He looked over the other book titles as if trying to understand what had drawn me to this particular book instead of the others.
"I like that it shows fantasy within reality. I believe the line between the two is a little blurred rather than being black and white." As I finished Edward watched me with a new wary light in his golden eyes. Did he understand the hidden message I was trying to convey to him?
Did he know that I knew what he was?
"Would you care to sit with me today?" I asked, and Edward looked away briefly before giving his answer.
"I am not sure if that would be very prudent."
"Why should I care about prudence?" I huffed, and instantly felt a little more childlike than I cared to feel. Perhaps because I didn't like the idea of seeming younger than I was and therefore increasing the age gap between me and Edward.
"Sarelle, I am not a good person for you to just openly invite into your life." He leant forward slightly, lowering his voice as his eyes locked on mine. I wondered if hypnosis was a power that vampires possessed, because I was certain I could lose all freewill by looking into those eyes.
I tore my eyes from his; I wasn't going to submit to him just because my heart felt under his rule in this moment. I had always praised myself on being strong. It would be no different now.
"I find that doubtful, Edward. I have had enough experience of bad people to recognise the good."I stepped to the side to leave and tossed my hair to the side to relieve the small irritation that had built at Edward elusive difficult behaviour.
"Why is it so hard to stay away from you?" His voice whispered. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear it or not for it was so quietly spoken. I stopped beside him before I left and glanced up at his figure which seemed a little less certain in its posture.
"Will you sit with me?" As soon as I asked it he turned to me and studied my face.
"If I do, do you understand the consequences?" He voice was low and serious, but I couldn't find any fear in me at his statement. If this was his warning, then I would take it and ignore it. I already knew what he was capable of. I wasn't naive to the truth, even if he believed me to be.
"There are consequences for sitting next to someone?" I injected some humour into my voice, but Edward didn't smile like he used to as a young boy. Instead his eyes burned with a need for me rescind my invitation and keep him from temptation. If only he knew he was fighting a losing battle.
"If you let me get too close, I may never let you go." I felt his cool breath fan across my face as he spoke with earnest. The fragrance that met my senses was a beautiful combination of fresh sweetness and seductive spices.
"I wouldn't think that a bad thing," I whispered, and to me it was so faint I wondered if I actually had spoken it at all. My answer was given when Edward's body stiffened in an upright position with a look of disbelief and anger on his face.
"You are utterly absurd, Sarelle." Anger flashed in his eyes, and his lips pressed into a firm line. "You have no idea..." He ran a frustrated hand through his unruly locks as he spoke.
"Are you questioning my intelligence?" I felt a flash of anger at his words. I could feel my hands clenching at my sides, desperate to hit or squeeze something to rid my body of the anger.
"Yes when your intelligence leads you to such a conclusion. Do you have any comprehension of what you are doing? What your words mean?" He tawny eyes blazed, and I stood as calmly as possible.
"I am able to make my own choices, Edward."
"But you're making the wrong one. Please just register that." His ochre eyes were serious, and his voice had a hard edge that cut through the air. Still, I chose to ignore these things, my anger was brewing and I couldn't find the focus to fear him.
"Don't you dare accuse me of blind ignorance."
"I will question your judgement when it is clearly flawed."
"You are infuriating!"I huffed and blew a stray strand of hair from my face.
Edward's eyes danced a little in what I thought may have been amusement due to my flustered movements, but his face showed nothing but stone cold defiance and determination.
"Fine. I retract my invitation. Happy now?"
I stormed past him but my ears heard a faint 'no' as I left.
A/N: Thanks for reading :)
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