Author's Note: So I finally have managed another chapter! Sorry for the delay. I am moving house (and jobs!) again in the next few weeks, though, so I don't know when the next one will be. Hope you enjoy this one anyway.
Kalran walked nervously down the street, very conscious of the suspicious gaze of Alniss pressing against her back. Alniss was walking behind with Carla, who seemed as anxious as Kalran felt. They were changing to the final bus that would take them out to the Pool entrance, and Kalran had been feeling increasingly sick throughout the journey.
The bus was quiet, so it was easy to find a group of three seats together. Ilkiss wasn't joining them for this trip, a circumstance that made the visit even harder for Kalran. He was a nurse in a hospital, and the allocation of Pool visiting times was inflexible: they had the same slot every fortnight, which meant it often conflicted with Ilkiss' shifts. Kalran was very thankful she had a regular 9-5, and they'd managed to get an evening visiting time, or Oglud would often have no-one.
"How long's this one?" Alniss asked, breaking the silence that had descended on the three of them for most of the journey.
"Only fifteen minutes," Kalran said quietly. "It's the shortest."
Alniss nodded. "It's a long way for you, Kalran. You'd think they could open more entrances."
Kalran felt a jolt of surprise at the empathy in Alniss' voice, and met her eyes for the first time. She'd been so worried Alniss would think the journey too long for Carla, try and prevent her visiting, but the last time Alniss had addressed her this kindly had been after the attempted attack on the Pool.
"Thank you," she murmured, too shocked to be clearer.
Carla turned her head towards them; she'd been staring out of the window most of the trip, looking cheerier to hear Kalran and Alniss' friendlier interaction.
"It's crap that Ilkiss can't come," she said in a low voice, looking at Kalran. "You must miss him."
Kalran looked away. "It's a shame the visiting schedule is so inflexible," she said. She hadn't told Carla that she and Ilkiss no longer considered each other mates. She suspected Alniss guessed: he didn't spend anywhere near enough time with Kalran to convince another Yeerk they were still together, but Carla didn't really know how Yeerk relationships worked.
Kalran looked across at Alniss, who gave her a sad smile.
"How was work today?" Alniss said quickly to Carla. "It's good you could get the evening off."
"It was fine," Carla replied, frowning. "You've already asked me that."
"Have I? I guess I forgot."
Carla looked across at Kalran, puzzled. "Kalran... I'm sorry if this seems rude, but... is everything, y'know, OK, with you and Ilkiss?"
That was more perceptive than Kalran had been expecting. "I... look, please don't say anything to Oglud."
Carla hesitated, half-opening her mouth before seeming to think better of it and closing it again.
"Ilkiss and I... it's... we're not... I suppose we're just friends now, really."
"I'm sorry." Carla reached to touch Kalran's arm. "I shouldn't have asked."
"We did wonder," Alniss said gently. "That's very difficult for you. I'm sorry." She paused for a few seconds. "You're not telling Oglud?"
It was hardly any of Alniss' business, but Kalran wasn't about to start saying that: the last thing she wanted was yet another argument. Instead, she simply shook her head.
"Oh," Carla murmured. "I... sorry, but I reckon they'll see eventually. I don't think I can make myself forget about it."
"Carla, you do realise how unlikely it is that Oglud will ever be allowed to infest you, don't you?"
"Yes, Alniss, I know. You've told me."
Kalran looked across at Carla, forcing a smile, though she didn't feel particularly cheerful. "I think in that situation she'd notice anyway."
About fifteen minutes later, the three of them were walking across the field towards the entrance, Kalran bracing herself for their encounter with the Andalite and human guards. The humans were about as pleasant as she expected. She climbed down into the darkness first, soon feeling the familiar icy sensation of the edge of a tailblade against her neck.
She heard Alniss and Carla descend behind her. By straining her eyes to turn them as far as she could, she could just about see them.
(Move, then, filth,) the Andalite guarding her snapped.
They descended the steep, uneven steps towards the Pool's cavern, Kalran foremost and therefore unable to see the others. She spent the whole descent worrying about what was happening behind her: would they hurt Carla? Surely Alniss would decide the risk was too great for the two of them to return again.
It seemed like a feeding cycle before the Andalites finally showed them to chairs along the wall of the cavern, and the blades were removed from their throats. Kalran hardly dared to look across at Alniss, but forced herself to anyway; there was no sense in delaying, it would only worry her further.
Alniss was gently brushing her fingers across Carla's neck, as though checking for injury, but thankfully this time there wasn't a scratch on her skin. Satisfied, Alniss let her hand fall and turned away, her eyes glancing towards the Pool, a strange expression on her face.
"It's unsettling, isn't it, to see the pool again?" Kalran ventured.
The other Yeerk nodded. "I haven't seen the glow of the Kandrona since I morphed. It feels... very strange."
Kalran nodded, letting her own eyes follow the direction of Alniss' gaze. As she looked at the gloopy, brown surface of the Pool, half-formed memories came to her: slipping into the warm, comforting thickness of the sludge... furtive palp-to-palp conversations with other peace movement members, constantly fearful of Empire spies... twining her body around Oglud's in greeting...
She bit her lip sharply at the last memory, bringing her awareness back to her human form with a jolt, trying to hold back the tears she could feel forming. She looked quickly across at Alniss: the other Yeerk seemed lost in her own thoughts, staring at the surface of the Pool just like Kalran had been. Good. She didn't want Alniss to see her cry.
Carla was watching Alniss with some concern, which made Kalran take a closer look, realising the other Yeerk looked near tears as well. She felt a squeeze of guilt in her gut: this must be so much worse when you'd lost so many, and here Kalran was thinking only of herself.
"Schrellatie," she managed, reaching a hand towards Alniss'.
She was slightly surprised when she touched Alniss' skin that the hand hadn't been pulled away. Alniss wasn't usually receptive to comfort from her: if anything, Kalran's attempts to soothe had a tendency to make things worse.
"I- I was just thinking about... about..." Alniss trailed off for a second, taking a deeper breath. "Those I lost."
Kalran opened her mouth to respond, not entirely sure of what she would say, what words of comfort she could offer, but before she could say anything she heard a nasty voice in her mind, dripping with sadistic contempt.
(Good riddance, I say.)
Alniss jerked, her hand pulling away from Kalran's, as she looked around at the Andalite guard behind them. His upper body leant towards the three of them, uncomfortably close to Alniss.
(The rest of you slugs would have gone the same way if I'd had anything to do with it,) he continued, clearly enjoying Alniss' distress.
There was a sudden clatter, and Kalran looked round to see Carla's chair lying on the floor, knocked over by the force with which she'd leapt up from it. Kalran froze for a second as she saw the human leap towards the Andalite who'd spoken, her hand curled into a fist.
Luckily, Alniss was quicker to react, grabbing Carla's arm and pulling her away. "Carla, no."
The glare Carla turned on the Andalite was ferocious. "But-"
"They're more powerful than you and they have tailblades."
"I don't care," Carla growled, still trembling with rage, though Kalran noticed she didn't attempt to pull away from the restraint of Alniss' arm.
"They probably won't let you come again if you attack them."
Alniss' calm words made panic begin to rise again in Kalran's belly... what would they do if Carla couldn't come, perhaps for years?
Fortunately, though, Carla seemed to think the same thing, and her enraged expression gave way to anxiety. She dropped her eyes, and hastily reached to right her chair.
(Good choice, filth,) the Andalite sneered.
Carla glared at him, but sank back into her chair. They sat in silence for a few seconds, before another thought-speak voice cut into Kalran's mind.
(Thassarouth-Mendal-Nestreen, Prince Jilrahil requests your presence at the entrance. I will guard these Yeerks.)
The cruel Andalite... Thassarouth... looked none-too-pleased as far as Kalran could tell from her limited knowledge of Andalite body language, but he went, one stalk eye fixed mockingly on them until he turned the corner to the stairs. The other Andalite settled himself, not behind them as they usually did, but in front and slightly to the side, resting a hind leg rather than maintaining the usual military-straight posture. Kalran dared to sneak curious glances at him, trying not to openly stare.
(I would like to apologise for my fellow warrior's words,) he said after a few moments, his main eyes on Alniss.
Alniss' head jerked up, her mouth open in surprise. Kalran imagined her own expression was not dissimilar... an Andalite warrior, apologising?
"Thanks," Carla said after a few seconds, both Kalran and Alniss still too shocked to make a sound. "Looks like you found the Yeerk mute button," she added, an amused tone in her voice.
(I'm not sure I understand your meaning,) the Andalite said, turning a third eye onto Carla.
"It was a joke... I meant... never mind."
Kalran managed to recover herself enough to close her mouth and take a breath. "What's your name?" she managed eventually, when she felt able to speak again.
The Andalite turned his eyes towards her. (I am Warrior Fendarin-Jilloran-Hadreen. What is your name?)
Kalran told him, and Alniss, finally sufficiently recovered from the shock to speak, gave hers too. When Carla nervously gave him her name, it was his turn to seem surprised, three of his eyes pointing in her direction at the same time, which Kalran was sure must indicate interest.
(A human? How interesting. You have a beautiful planet.)
Carla frowned a little, puzzled, but said simply: "Thanks."
(I have been fortunate enough to acquire a human morph. I have much enjoyed exploring your sense of taste when not on duty. The taste of the bulbous plant you call 'garlic' is particularly pleasant.)
Carla glanced across at Alniss. "Right. Yeah, I guess garlic bread is nice."
(It is, though I preferred to consume the plant alone. The flavour was stronger.)
Kalran couldn't help smiling slightly at that, though she brought her expression back to neutral as quickly as she could, wary of the Andalite's reaction if he caught her laughing at him.
He wasn't paying attention to her, though, his eyes back on Alniss' face, which had settled back into a melancholy expression. (My condolences on your loss, Alniss seven-five-four.)
She jumped violently, almost slipping from the chair. "I... what?"
The Andalite looked uncomfortable, pawing at the ground with a forehoof. (I hope I have not offended you. I do not know the Yeerk customs of condolence...)
"No," Alniss managed. "I'm not offended, I... I just..." she trailed off, staring open-mouthed at Fendarin. Kalran imagined her own expression was similar.
"I think she's wondering why you're being kind to her," Carla interjected. "Andalites usually aren't. You're not being sarcastic, are you?"
(My translator chip does not understand that word.)
"Do you mean what you just said?" Carla clarified after a slight pause.
Fendarin turned his main eyes to her, leaving a stalk eye on Alniss. (Why would I say it if I did not mean it?)
"OK," Carla said with a nod.
Alniss moved her mouth without uttering a sound for a few seconds, then managed a choked: "Thank you."
Fendarin inclined his tail blade slightly, toward the ground. Kalran struggled to remember what she'd been taught about Andalite gesture- she believed it indicated acceptance, rather like a nod, but she wasn't entirely certain. It would seem to fit, though.
"Say," Carla began, and Kalran did not have to search her memory to read the expression of shrewd calculation in her face. "Is it possible to ask for particular guards when we visit?"
Fendarin looked back to her, and it was a few moments before he spoke. (No one has asked that before. I am afraid I do not know.)
"Can you find out?"
(I will ask Prince Jilrahil, but I imagine the answer will be no. He believes we should ensure the Yeerks understand that they are permitted to see their fellows on our terms, not theirs.) Fendarin pawed at the ground again. (I am sorry.)
"I'm not a Yeerk, though."
(I do not think that will affect his answer. After all, you speak for them.)
Carla was silent for a second, frowning. "OK. It's just I've a load of garlic going spare at home. If you can manage to be at the entrance this time in two weeks, it's yours. I'll bring it along just in case."
Fendarin straightened his upper body, his tail raising a little. (Andalite warriors do not accept bribes. Not even in the form of delicious human plants.)
Carla nodded. "OK. Sorry."
They sat in silence for a while, Kalran sneaking little glances at Fendarin, still shocked at his politeness. Part of her was delighted at their good luck: it felt immeasurably better to be sitting here with him than it ever had with the others; but part of her felt the hurt of those other times more keenly than she ever had, now knowing how different it could be.
Before long, Fendarin announced that it was time to go in. (You are aware of the twenty-minute time limit?)
Kalran nodded, a twist in her gut at the reminder. It always felt more like five minutes; it was never enough. "Yes." After a second, she added, respectfully: "Warrior Fendarin."
(I will give you a warning when there are five minutes remaining, and again at one minute, to give you sufficient time to close your conversation.)
Another two Andalites joined them, and they were escorted, blades at their throats again, to the tiny chamber where the communication equipment sat. As soon as the blade left her throat, Kalran ran over to the screen, her fingers flying across the Galard keypad.
Oglud, nishli, it's Kalran. Are you okay?
I'm very well, came the almost-instant response. Except for missing you both, as always. How are you, nishli? Ilkiss isn't there?
No, Kalran responded, a twinge in her stomach. I'm sorry, Oglud, his shifts at work...
Don't worry. I know he can't always make it. How are you?
I'm doing great, thanks. Except for all this, of course. Kalran swallowed hard as she typed the lie- she was feeling far from great, but it would be hard for Oglud to tell through this. She tried not to think about the fact that that was true the other way around, as well.
And Carla? How is she?
She's fine. She's here with me.
Is she? Really? Again? Oh, please thank her for me, it was such a joy to speak with her last time. Tell her she mustn't feel she has to come, though, it must take a long time for her to travel here.
Kalran turned to Carla, noting that both she and Alniss were standing close, looking at the screen. In vain in Carla's case, of course, as she didn't know Galard, but obviously Alniss understood every word. Kalran swallowed nervously, avoiding the other Yeerk's eyes.
Carla smiled when Kalran passed on Oglud's message, asking Kalran to assure Oglud it was no trouble.
There's someone else here with me as well, Kalran typed, once she'd done as Carla asked. She didn't feel she could leave Oglud in ignorance that there was someone else reading their conversation who could actually understand it. Alniss- you remember, who I live with? She... her schrellie Silrin was Carla's Yeerk in the war.
The time it took Oglud to respond was longer than usual. Greetings, Alniss. May the Kandrona shine and strengthen you.
"Tell them, 'and you'," Alniss said, her tone expressionless.
It's good to meet you, Alniss, Oglud responded, once Kalran had passed on Alniss' reply. It's very kind of you to visit me.
"Tell them I came to make sure Carla was safe," Alniss instructed.
Kalran hesitated, reluctant. "I-"
"No, don't," Carla said quickly, a worried frown etching itself on her forehead. "It'll only worry them, they'll think it isn't safe for me to come."
"It doesn't seem very safe so far. Oglud must be aware of that."
"They're not," Kalran admitted, finding her voice. "Ilkiss and I have only told them the bare minimum about how the Andalites are. We didn't want Oglud to worry about us."
Kalran was distracted by the beep of the computer terminal.
Kalran? Are you still there?
Kalran hastened to type a reply, trying to tune out the sound of the debate that ensued behind her between Carla and Alniss. Carla was getting bolder, she reflected; challenging Alniss more than Kalran had ever seen, which she supposed was a good thing on the whole, but it wasn't likely to do much for Alniss' mood. Nor did Kalran want to be the cause of a falling-out between the two: despite how uncomfortable Alniss' Empire-influenced, controlling attitude to Carla sometimes made her, she could see the friendship was good for both of them.
Of course, nishli. I'm sorry, I was distracted for a moment. What have you been doing? Are you still able to access the databases?
Oglud, an ex-engineer, had been spending their time in the Pool going through all the old Empire training courses. So far, they'd learned two new human languages and were currently completing a xenomicrobiology course, Kalran's own area of interest.
Yes, Oglud replied. This module is very interesting, it's on human immune responses, but... Kalran, is everything all right?
Yes, of course. Kalran replied, another pinch of guilt making itself felt as she told yet another lie.
Are you sure?
Kalran hesitated, uncertain. She wasn't sure she could lie again, not even to protect her mate from worry... neither of them could see anything of the other's emotional responses beyond the words they used, it made it far easier to keep information from each other, but she was tiring of it. And if it were her in the Pool, wouldn't she want Oglud to tell her the truth?
It's just... it's nothing to worry about, it's just that Alniss and I don't see eye-to-eye on everything, that's all.
Anything in particular? Oglud responded quickly.
She isn't sure about Carla coming here. The Andalites... they've never deliberately harmed us, but they're not very pleasant. She came today because she doesn't trust me to keep her safe.
There was a longer delay, this time, before Oglud's response. They sound close.
Kalran chanced a glance across at Alniss, who still seemed to be fully focused on her discussion with Carla. They are. Alniss lost a lot in the war... she's very nervous about losing Carla too.
Losing? It's as dangerous as that?
It was hard to tell from words alone, but Kalran was pretty sure Oglud was starting to panic, too. No, of course not. Alniss is, well, a little paranoid. The worst risk is insults, really.
There were a few moments where Oglud didn't respond. Will you tell Carla she mustn't feel she has to go through all this? I enjoyed her visit, but it's fine if she doesn't want to come again, or if it's not safe. I wouldn't want her to put herself in harm's way for my sake. And you and Ilkiss, too, you shouldn't have to go through all that.
Of course I'll tell her. And don't you dare even think about suggesting that Ilkiss and I don't come. Separation from you... nishli, that would be far worse than anything the Andalites can do to us.
Raising her head from the screen, Kalran turned to see Alniss and Carla's attention on her again. She relayed Oglud's message, watching Carla's face carefully.
"Tell them thanks, but I'm OK." Carla said determindely, no trace of uncertainty visible in her eyes. "I'm going to keep coming, as long as it's OK that Alniss comes with me every once in a while, just to see how things are. Tell them it is safe, though, the guards are just rude and I can handle that. I don't want Oglud to worry."
Kalran glanced at Alniss, surprised. Alniss nodded. "I'm not going to stop her coming," she said slowly, as though the words were hard to get out.
Curious, Kalran wanted to ask more, but that could wait. She hastily relayed Carla's message.
Tell her I'm very grateful for her time, Oglud said instantly. How's work, nishli? It's still going well?
Yes, it's fine, Kalran responded. The research is fascinating, and so useful: we think we may have found a way to slow the reproduction of cancerous cells more than has ever been done before. But we need larger scale studies.
That's wonderful. It sounds like it will make a big difference to a lot of humans. And our people too, I suppose, those who are human nothlits. How are the others at work? Have you made any friends?
I don't want to tell them what I am, Kalran admitted. That makes it more difficult to strike up friendships. But I'm fine.
You can't always be on your own, Oglud replied, clearly concerned.
I'm not. I told you about the group of humans who want to help you all, didn't I? Sara, Elsa and the rest? So far they've taken me out to dinner, we've been to the beach, we've been to the movies twice... we're becoming good friends.
That's wonderful, Oglud said warmly.
How are Felrud and Narliss? Kalran asked. Felrud and Narliss were Oglud's schrelna: Narliss had been allergic too, and was in the Pool, while Felrud visited on a regular basis, separately to Kalran.
Both well. Narliss is studying an Empire module on human psychology. So far they've concluded that human scientists are terrifying.
Kalran smiled.
Will you ask Carla how she is? How her work is going?
Of course. Kalran relayed the message, and felt a quiet warmth at the smile Carla gave in response.
"I'm doing great. Work's fine. Kind of quiet this week, but I had the weeknight shifts. It's always busier at weekends. What's Oglud been up to?"
Before Kalran could respond, she heard Fendarin's gentle thought-speech in her head.
(I regret to tell you you have five Earth minutes remaining.)
Kalran relayed Carla's question and the time to Oglud, and relayed a couple more messages between Oglud and Carla before beginning to say her goodbyes.
I'm so sorry, nishli, they won't let us stay much longer.
I know. It's alright. We'll speak in fourteen Earth days?
Yes, of course.
Say goodbye to Carla for me, and give my regards to Alniss. Tell her she's always welcome to visit.
(One minute, I'm afraid.)
I will. I love you.
I love you too, nishli. I wish so much I could tell you in more than words, but I love you no less than the day we were separated.
Kalran felt tears prickle at the corner of her eyes, and again reached a hand out, in vain, to brush the computer terminal. She really should stop doing that, but at least Fendarin probably wouldn't comment on it.
Me too, she hastened to type, not wanting to be cut off before she could respond to that. I always will. Goodbye, Oglud, and take care of yourself. I'll speak to you soon.
Goodbye, Kalran. Look after yourself too, came Oglud's response, just as Fendarin politely told her the time was up.
Kalran wiped at her tears as she backed away from the computer terminal. Finishing the conversation with her mate always left her feeling even more hollowed out than she usually did, and for some reason it hurt particularly badly today. She made her way back out of the Yeerk pool almost blindly, her tears coming thick and fast and the tailblade of the guard at her throat meaning she couldn't even wipe her eyes.
As soon as they climbed out of the hole and passed the old tree that marked the entrance, Kalran felt an arm wrap tightly around her shoulders. Kalran reached up to squeeze the other person's hand, in silent thanks for the comfort.
"You poor thing," Carla said softly.
"I'm sorry," Kalran managed to choke out. "I'm not normally this bad."
"Don't apologise, schrellatie." Alniss' voice was unexpectedly gentle, and her eyes soft when Kalran turned to meet them. "It must hurt you."
Kalran nodded. "Thank you, Alniss."
Alniss frowned. "What for?"
"For understanding. For not saying I asked for it."
"No one would ask for that, schrellatie, traitor or no."
Kalran nodded, surprised but pleased. This was the closest connection she'd ever felt to Alniss, and she hoped it boded well for their relationship, not to mention Carla's continued visits to the Pool.
"Thank you... that means a lot to me."