Phillip snuck out to get more whiskey whenever the oddities were performing in the show Lettie, W.D, Constantine and Charles were always too distracted thinking about the show to notice Phillip slipping past them to the exit and sneaking back into his room.
Anne however always noticed, he would always leave around half past 8, when she was back stage. She'd watch him try his best to leave quickly but he got more and more hungover every day, he felt terrible all the time. Physically as well as emotionally.
His head was always pounding, the good thing was it hurt too bad for him to think. He always shrunk away at any source of light, he always felt dehydrated, he always felt nauseous. Every time he walked too quickly he would retch to throw up, but he had no food in his system to be sick.
Anne watched Phillip as he winced at the sound of the music when he opened the door, he slid his hat lower so she could no longer see his eyes, he tried his best to block the bright lights.
She felt the now familiar pain in her heart increase. Phillip crept silently against the tent wall, hiding in the shadows. He stopped for a second, she'd watched him enough to see he was looking out for W.D or Constantine.
If they spotted him they would tackle him or rough him up a bit before taking him back to his room.
Phillip continued onwards as he decided the coast was clear. Whenever the stall, casting the shadow ended Phillip was hit with bright shining lights that made the pain in his head worse.
Anne sighed as Phillip doubled over and gagged, his body dry heaving in an attempt to vomit but he had nothing to bring up.
She'd had enough of avoiding Phillip, pretending she didn't see him wrecking himself. She was the only one who'd be able to talk any sense into him, yes it would be painful but she couldn't stand by and watch him kill himself.
He made it to the exit of the circus before she ran after him, he leaned on the wall outside savouring the cool fresh air in the dark where it was quiet. He pushed off the wall and began his walk to the liquor shop, "Mr Carlyle, stop" she told him.
He froze in his tracks and held his breath, was it really her or was it just another one of his drunken illusions. He turned slowly to face her, his eyes looked wild.
Anne sighed and walked towards him, "what're you doing?" She asked already knowing the answer, "I need more" was all he said. Disappointment was written all over Anne's face, he couldn't stand it.
"Stop. Stop drinking. Stop starving yourself. Stop throwing your life away" She said, her voice shook. This was harder than she thought it'd be, she wanted nothing more than to run forward and hug him tightly, she'd never let go and she'd tell him how much she loved him and she'd put him back together but she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to do that.
Phillip hung his head as if he was ashamed, "I can't. I need it. I can't stand myself when I'm sober, I need to drown my thoughts out. I can't take it" he began to cry, Anne hugged her arms to her body, it was taking all her strength not to comfort him.
He did this to himself she reminded herself, he hurt you. He betrayed you.
"You did it for 9 months Mr Carlyle, you don't need to drink" she said trying to keep the emotion out of her voice, he shook his head and sniffed, "no. I could only do it because I had you. You made me stronger. Without you I'm-" he gestured to himself.
Anne looked away, the guilt of seeing him so vulnerable was too much for her, "who was she? Please don't lie to me, I can tell when you lie to me" she stated, Phillip stopped crying, he tried to gather himself again.
As best as he could do when he had god knows how much alcohol in his system, "I can't tell you. I want to, but I just can't. I never wanted her Anne. Please believe me, I didn't do anything" he pleaded.
So there was a girl, he didn't seem to be lying but he had just confirmed to her there was someone else, he displayed all the signs. Josephine had told her about all the stories she had heard about Phillip, she wished they weren't true but something told her they were.
It definitely wouldn't be out of nature for Phillip, if he really was still who he used to be then she would not put this past him.
She felt angry remembering all the horrible things he had done in the past, he might've had a rough upbringing but that did not excuse any of it, "did you seriously think I wouldn't find out?" She asked.
Phillip looked up, a confused expression on her face, did she already know? "I'm not sure, I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to protect you" he stammered, she laughed "protect me? You completely betrayed me and you broke my heart" she yelled.
W.D appeared at the entrance of the circus, his eyes widened when he saw Anne yelling at Phillip. He walked quickly towards them both, "I told you to stay away from her, let's go you're a waste of space white nobody" he roared, he grabbed Phillip by the collar and kicked his knee so he fell to the floor.
W.D then dragged him forcefully across the ground back to the circus, "stop" Anne told him but he ignored her, "stop it!" Anne told him again but he didn't even acknowledge her.
When W.D dragged him into the theatre the oddities backstage stopped what they were doing and watched. Anne pursued W.D trying to break his grip from Phillip's collar but he was much stronger than her, "Wilfred Darence James Wheeler you let him go right now" she hissed as loudly as she could without the crowds hearing her.
W.D stopped and turned to her with a mortified look on his face, "did you just use my full name?" He gasped in disbelief, "yes I did. Now let him go or I will use much more embarrassing things against you" she promised, he growled and let Phillip drop to the floor.
He struggled to rise to his feet, "thanks" he mumbled before going to retreat back to his room, "hold it" Anne commanded.
She turned back to W.D "if I ever see you hurt him again you'll be sorry, I don't care what he's done or not done, don't you lay a finger on him like that again" she said angrily.
Josephine emerged from the crowd of oddities, "what's going on?" She asked, Anne glanced over at her, "I spoke to Phillip then W.D tried to take him back to his room" she explained.
She looked at Phillip once more, he waited for her to do something, he wondered why she told him to stay. She took a deep breath before she looked back to Josephine, "I'm ready to hear him out" she announced.
Josephine looked at her in shock, "Anne are you sure that's really a good idea?" She asked, Anne nodded, "I want to know why he did it, I want to know everything, I'll hear what he has to say" she said.
Phillip's perked up at that, "you will?" He asked, for the first time in two weeks he began to feel hopeful.
W.D glanced at the ring, "Anne, we're on. We've got to go" he said, "but-" she protested, Josephine grabbed her arm, "Anne if you really want to hear him out I've already finished my performance, I will listen to everything he has to say and I'll tell you exactly what he tells me, you can make a decision then" she told her.
Anne studied Phillip's face for a second, "okay, thank you" she decided. Phillip's face fell, his hope was put out just as quick as he had found it, "no, Anne. I have to tell you, it has to be you directly" he said desperately.
She looked towards the ring, "I don't have time Carlyle, it's her or nothing" she said bluntly, Phillip knew there was no point talking to Josephine but maybe if he showed how willing he was to do anything to fix it he could talk to her after the show.
He nodded glumly, "fine I'll tell her" he agreed, Anne smiled ever so slightly before she and W.D took off to the ring.
Josephine turned to Phillip and smirked when they were alone, "where to? The bar?" She asked.
Phillip looked after Anne and nodded reluctantly.