Everything in Between
Chapter 21
--
Shikamaru had locked his room, and since Sasuke's keys were inside the room, they had no way of getting in, and he seemed completely oblivious to their knocking and yelling and demanding he let them in, so Shikamaru was given peace for quite some time. He wasn't sure where Sasuke slept that night, and he really didn't care. When he woke up the next day, he spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what day it was, and felt very annoyed when he realized it was Sunday, and whether or not he wanted to ever leave his bed again, he had class tomorrow, and would have to choose between his dedication to getting good grades and his abhorrence of doing anything, which was greater than it had ever been.
He supposed this was what was described as heart-break, and he was very annoyed that he had been tricked into having such a serious problem by Ino, whom he was sure was having no such trouble right now, since she was clearly a cold-hearted witch. Unfortunately, he still found he wanted to see her, to be with her, to taste her kiss, to hear her voice…
"This is ridiculous." He groaned, rolling over and feebly attempting to smother himself with his own pillow. Why was it like this? Why did he find himself so completely infatuated with Ino, while he had been able to brush off other girls his whole life without any trouble? Was she really so much better than everyone else? So much more attractive, so much more appealing to be with, so much more interesting?
To me she is.
It didn't make any sense, and it was irritating and painful, but he had to just believe that if he waited this out, the pain would go away. He could see now that despite what Hinata and Kiba said, he really shouldn't be with Ino. If his feelings for her were so strong now, the more time he spent worrying about her and thinking about her, the worse it would be. Better to forget her now, so that he could get over it quickly. He had been a fool to agree to be with her, to fall into the trap of being her boyfriend so easily.
Only…it didn't feel like a trap. And when she kicked me out, it didn't make me feel free.
He just had to learn to forget those feelings, to control his desires, and learn to focus on his studies once more. He didn't have time to be in love, and he didn't have the patience for it, either. Even if she would take him back, Ino would just want him to spend all his time with her, and take her out, and sleep together…
Why do I feel like I'm going to cry?
He laid in bed for hours, until it began to get dark again, but then he finally got up when he had to go to the bathroom. His throat felt tight as he passed Ino's room, and he felt a sudden fear of what would happen if she saw him, what she would say, what he would say…how he would feel. He needed to stay strong, but he didn't know if he could resist the temptation if she actually wanted him back…he wouldn't be able to refuse her…not now, maybe not ever.
He reached the bathroom without incident, and tried not to feel nervous as he left the room again, to pass through the hallway by her door once more, but only one step out of the room, and Temari's door opened.
"Shikamaru!" she looked surprised to see him, and she was blushing with embarrassment. "Could I…could we talk?"
"Um." Shikamaru was completely caught off guard, but then again, she didn't seem to be killing him, or really like she was about to kill him, so maybe she for some reason wasn't angry with him for the situation, which didn't really make sense to him, because he seemed like the person she should be most angry with. He was the one who had turned her down and then started dating someone else not long after. "Okay…" he eyed the hallway nervously. "But not out here."
"Okay, come in." she gestured for him to enter her room, and he realized that the last time he'd been let in here, he had kissed her.
I don't have to feel guilty. And it doesn't matter what Ino would think…she's the one who threw me out. If I go into some other girl's room, that's my choice.
Still, he was a bit wary of Temari's intentions, and he eyed her bed askance when she sat down. "I'd rather stand."
"Oh, come on, I'm not going to jump you." She rolled her eyes, and he took a deep breath, bravely sitting down next to her. "Good. I just wanted to apologize for yesterday."
"What?" Shikamaru had expected her to demand him to apologize. Was Temari…broken somehow? "Why?"
"Well, I acted like…like a fool." She shook her head, flushing. "You told me no, and I was annoyed, but when I saw you with someone else…well, I should have just realized that you had been trying to let me down easy, before." She explained, picking at imaginary lint on her skirt. "I mean, you could have said, 'sorry Temari, I'm not attracted to you at all,' but instead you said you just couldn't have a girlfriend. That…that was nicer, I think. In a situation like that…it's really hard to hear the truth…because it's not what you want. It was kind of you to spare me, but obviously, you had to know that I'd find out when you started dating Ino. Naruto told me…he said you guys were seeing each other in secret for a while, and that you probably had no idea how to break it to me…because, I mean, no offense to Sasuke, but he wasn't really that concerned with how much heart break came out of him choosing Naruto. But you…you wanted me…" she let out a harsh laugh, and Shikamaru felt a vague terror that she was going to actually start crying. He would have no idea what to do, in that case.
"I'm happy that you were able to find someone you're happy with." She sniffed slightly. "And I think…I don't think it would have worked between us, anyway." Her voice had a false cheer to it, now, and Shikamaru felt, if anything, worse than he had before he started talking to her. "I mean…I spend so much energy worrying about Kankurou and Gaara, and it would really have been hard to fit a boyfriend in, and to put him above that would have just been…well, I guess I just really liked you from the first time I met you, when you helped Gaara. I had never seen anyone really be nice to him before…and I guess I couldn't help thinking maybe I deserved…" she went silent and turned away, her shoulders shaking slightly, and now Shikamaru knew she really was crying.
"Don't…don't cry." He patted her shoulder, feeling like he was the worst comforter ever. However, Temari immediately turned to him, sobbing into his shoulder and hugging him tightly while he had a sudden nightmare vision of Ino bursting in for no apparent reason and seeing them together. He put his hands on her shoulders, where they could not touch anything dangerous, just in case. "I'm not really worth the effort."
"Oh please," she made a noise that was half a laugh, half a sob, pulling away and wiping at her eyes, trying to smile and recover herself. "You had two girls going after you and you still don't see that you're worth it? Honestly, and even though she can be a pain in the ass, Ino's probably the prettiest girl I've ever even seen in real life."
"She kicked me out." Shikamaru told her, pursing his lips before sighing heavily. "We're not even together anymore."
"But…but yesterday…" Temari blinked at him in surprise, her face dry but still a bit blotchy. "What could have possibly happened? You've only been together a few weeks!"
"Officially, it was six days." Shikamaru told her. "It was a mistake to agree to date her…I'd told myself I didn't have time…I mean, even in high school girls were too much work, and so in college, I just wanted to focus, and she just…"
"Made you put everything aside?" Temari arched an eyebrow. "Made you forget everything else?"
"Well…I mean, it didn't really seem like work…with her." Shikamaru admitted. "I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk about it, and I'm sure you don't want to hear about it. Do you want to just…play chess or something? Like we used to?"
"That…that would be nice." Temari pulled out the board and set it up, but as soon as Shikamaru touched the pawn, he got a very strained expression on his face and sighed heavily.
"I don't think I can play this right now." He told her finally, turning away, trying not to think of all Ino's stupid names for the chess pieces, trying not to think of the games they had played together, of how easily she had beat him…
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it." Temari frowned at him. "Because you seem to be doing about as good as Gaara was when he was lovesick over Neji. And even though I really shouldn't be helping you get with another girl, I'm better at being a mom than I am at being a regular girl. I guess I'll always be alone."
"Don't talk like that." Shikamaru grumbled, feeling irritable, but finding that Temari's mood suited his, in any case. "If you really want to be with someone, it'll work out." She gave him a wry look, and he coughed nervously. "I mean…someone else."
"Well, like I said, it's for the best. I don't really have time for it, do I?" she told him briskly. "But I don't think that what you're doing is healthy. I mean, you don't even want to play chess? You've got it bad, but you're sitting there saying that you're better off without her, and you can't even walk down the hall without looking like you're getting ready to go into battle. Maybe you should think it over."
"She doesn't feel the same way." Shikamaru told her in annoyance. Why was Temari trying to make him get together with Ino? Wasn't this totally against her interests? "And it'll just be worse if I got back with her now and had to have it end again later. At this point…I wasn't really that attached, so I'll just—"
"Bullshit." Temari rolled her eyes. "This sulky acting like you're not moping thing just doesn't suit you. Sorry, I mean I know it worked pretty freaking well for your emo roommate, but you're just not that kind of guy. That's why I like you. That's probably why Ino turned to you, to. I mean, after someone like Sasuke, you're a breath of fresh air."
"You'll piss off Naruto, talking like that." Shikamaru couldn't stop himself from smiling at that. "I mean, Sasuke can't help being a whiny bastard, and apparently that's exactly the sort of thing Naruto's in to."
"Can…can I ask you something?" Temari asked, and Shikamaru shrugged. "Do you think…I mean, do you think it would have worked out…between us?"
"Temari…" Shikamaru sighed heavily, and had to stop himself. Now that he knew how much this hurt…he didn't know she felt so strongly for him, but still…it wasn't something he should mock her with, or ignore so easily. "I think you're right, it wouldn't have worked between us."
"Yeah…yeah, you're right." She turned to him and smiled. "I think…we think too much alike sometimes. About certain things. We're both so logic minded. You need someone like Ino to make you look at things a different way."
"Stop that." Shikamaru scowled. "Shouldn't you want me to forget all about her and be with you instead?"
"There's really no chance of that, though." Temari shrugged. "I want my brother to be happy all the time around me, to be carefree and laugh and tell jokes and want to hug me just because…but that's never going to be the case. I just have to make sure he's as happy as he can be…and even though I had my doubts, Neji…well, Neji makes him smile more than I ever could, so I have to be happy with that. Right?"
"Yeah, but he's your brother." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "It's a different situation."
"I guess." Temari shrugged. "But the same principle applies. I can want for you to be happy with me, to want to be with me, to see only me, to love me, the way any normal girl would want someone to care about her. But it doesn't always work out so neatly. You don't feel the same, and I can't force you to change. You want Ino, and even though you're too lazy to just go get her, she probably wants you, too. You should be happy! You found someone who you want to be with, someone who wants you back. You know, the funny thing is that I wasn't positive, but I think Kiba was interested in me at the beginning of the year, but I was kinda…well, me, and he started to shift over until he was focused on Hinata, who wanted Naruto, but then he ended up with Sasuke, and she saw that Kiba was good for her, in the end. Maybe I should have…but no, I don't think it would have worked with Kiba, either. Too much work."
Shikamaru did laugh at that, but he wasn't sure he should be laughing, so he stopped himself and coughed, only to see that she was laughing as well. "It's weird the way things end up." He sighed.
"Things haven't ended yet." She pointed out. "I mean, you aren't dead, so there's still time, right?"
"You're pretty optimistic for someone related to Gaara." Shikamaru pointed out, and she laughed again. "You know…I think I do want to play chess." He told her after a long pause, and they both turned back to the board.
"Right! Well you better prepare yourself, because I've been training in secret!" she told him, as he made the first move. This time, it didn't make him want to cry to touch the chess pieces. But he couldn't put his heart into the game, after all. It was too busy focusing on the girl down the hall.
--
"You've heard the way he speaks." Neji pursed his lips and stared at the ceiling disconsolately. "And I have no idea what his parents do. If they even have jobs. They could be drug dealers or pimps or something. And he drinks too much, and he'll encourage her to drink more than she should."
"Mmph," Gaara was busy trying to distract Neji using his mouth. He felt that this was a tactic which was sure to be successful. He had finally reached his goal, so he was sure that now Neji would stop complaining about Hinata's life choices and pay attention to what was going on between his hips.
"And…and his room's a mess. He probably doesn't even care about her, he just wants her to pick up after him." Neji let out a soft noise, and Gaara glanced up at him, to see if he was looking at him yet, but he was still staring at the ceiling. "Her father always said that when the time came, he would arrange a proper marriage for her. I'm sure you understand. I'm sure your father had similar plans for Temari, and if he were alive now…if she had dated him, he would likely never have approved of Shikamaru. He's smart, but lazy, and has no ambition. What sort of man would he be to take care of your sister? Honestly, I'm surprised you weren't more upset with her for thinking that would be a suitable…" he grunted again, louder this time, and Gaara felt fingers sink into his hair, but to his surprise, Neji pulled him away, frowning at him. "Can you stop that? I'm trying to talk to you about something serious."
"What?" Gaara couldn't believe his ears. "You're worrying about things that don't matter."
"Are you saying you wouldn't care if Temari started dating someone today? Even if it was someone who might be a bad influence, might just be after her money, might not care for her or be worthy of her?" Neji was shocked.
"I don't give a shit who Temari wants to date. She's smart enough not to do anything idiotic, and if she was getting some, maybe she'd be less grumpy." Gaara was thoroughly offended that Neji could just stop him while he was doing him such a nice favor. "What do you care if Hinata wants to date Kiba? He's not a bad person, you know him. He may not have gone to finishing school or anything, but Hinata's polite enough for both of them. At least he hasn't killed a man."
"Don't." Neji pursed his lips, sitting up to face Gaara better. "What you did…what choice did you really have then?"
"You can make it sound as nice as you want, but even with what she did know of me, your cousin never questioned it when we got together." Gaara pointed out. "At the least, she knew about my temper, about some of my past, I'm sure you talked with her about the highlights. I'm dangerous, and she gave us her full support. She even got Temari to stop hating you so much."
"But…you're not like that." Neji couldn't understand why everyone, including Gaara himself, were bringing up his relationship with Gaara as a reason why he shouldn't be questioning Hinata's decision to date Kiba. "You're…you're better. There's no one in the world like you. I love you."
"That's probably how they feel about each other, too." Gaara pointed out. "But you're opposing it because you don't think his family is rich enough? I thought you were a better man than that."
"That's not…I don't mean…it's not about the money." Neji felt very sheepish when Gaara put it like that. "He's not…he's not good enough for her."
"So you would rather she be miserable with a rich doctor she's never met than happy with a fellow student she cares about?" Gaara arched a crimson eyebrow, and Neji flopped back down onto his pillow.
"You're right." He sighed. "What am I saying? She…she should do what makes her happy, and if she's happy with Kiba…"
"It's okay," Gaara took pity on him, leaning over to kiss his mouth softly before beginning to work his way back down to where he'd been before. "You're just worried about her. You want to protect her, that's normal."
"Ah!" Neji bit off a gasp as Gaara returned to his original task. "I love you."
"Mmmph." Gaara glanced up, and this time, the silver eyes were locked on him.
--
Sasuke stared at the clock as he listened to his professor explain their homework assignment with half an ear. It was Thursday of their first week back to class, and Sasuke had a date this afternoon. It was very annoying that he had been forced to schedule sex around Shikamaru's schedule, but his roommate was refusing to leave the room for anything but class. At least he could sleep in there now, but since the only way to have sex was in front of his roommate, which he did not want to do, sleeping with Naruto was suddenly very…difficult. There were too many people around to try and get away with secret shower sex, so now…it had been since Saturday afternoon…it felt like eons.
But Sasuke had found Shikamaru's class schedule, and he had it figured out, now. He was in a lecture until 1:30 on Thursday, and Naruto was in photography until 2:00, but at 2:30, Shikamaru had a lecture that lasted until 4:00, so that meant, figuring that it might take about fifteen minutes to get to and from class, Naruto and him had two whole hours of private time. However, Naruto had a tendency to stay late in his photography lab, so Sasuke was taking no risks. He would go straight from here to wait for Naruto and personally escort him back to their room for as much sex as they could pack into those two hours. Between work study jobs and classes and soccer, that was so far the only period of time that was regularly scheduled for Naruto and Sasuke to be free when Shikamaru had to be somewhere else. Sasuke felt it was very unfair that philosophy seemed to not take up nearly enough of his roommate's time. Also, he felt Shikamaru should agree to the suggestion Naruto and him change rooms, but he had been hesitant when Naruto brought it up, and Sasuke was pretty sure that Shikamaru was of the mindset that if he was not getting sex, no one should be. Sasuke thought that was very unfair.
Finally, the class ended, and he nearly sprinted across campus until he reached the building where Naruto would be and peered into the window of the classroom. He couldn't see his lover, but he knew Naruto had some rolls of film he had been wanting to develop, so he was probably in one of the dark rooms. He wanted to rush in and drag him out, but he had to be respectful. He watched the clock in the room, compared it to his watch, and waited very impatiently for it to be two o' clock, but the fifth time he checked his watch to see that it was still 1:52, the door opened, and Naruto came out, looking flushed and excited.
"I got out early." He explained swiftly, and Sasuke couldn't stop himself, he pinned Naruto against the wall right outside the classroom and kissed him long and deep. "Yeah, I know," Naruto breathed heavily as they broke, lips still nearly touching. "I know…we have to get him to trade rooms…I can't go on like this."
"Come on, then." Sasuke held his hand all the way back to their dorm, not caring about the occasional odd looks and stares, only caring that soon, finally, Naruto would be inside of him, and everything in the world would be perfect again. On the stairs, he realized that just the anticipation was making him hard, and for a moment, he almost wanted to just do it right in the stairwell, but the thought of exposing Naruto to so many eyes…to letting anyone see him mid-orgasm…Sasuke couldn't go through with it.
"God, I want you so bad." Naruto breathed in his ear as he fumbled with his keys, of course making it that much harder to find the right one. Finally, he got it in the door and they burst in, and it wasn't until he'd been tackled on the bed by Naruto, who clearly really did want him badly that he realized Shikamaru was still there, quietly reading on his bed.
"I swear to god, if you don't leave right now, I will beat the shit out of you and dump you in the hall." Sasuke gritted the words out.
"Sasuke…we can just wait." Naruto breathed, but Sasuke could feel his erection pressed hot and urgent on his thigh, and knew that Naruto was reaching a point of desperation as well. He was just nicer than Sasuke.
"Shikamaru, because of you, I haven't had sex in five days." Sasuke struggled out from under Naruto, who didn't fight too badly, since he wanted Shikamaru gone pretty badly as well. "If you want your fucking girlfriend back, go get her already! Stop punishing the rest of us. And don't start that 'you don't understand my sorrow' bullshit with me, because you don't have the first clue what Naruto and I have been through, so despite what you may see, don't just assume that everything's been smooth sailing for us and try to take out your stupid mistake on everyone else. Just fucking own up like a man, and go get it taken care of, and I swear, if you ever make me go this long without sex again, I will kill you. I will smother you with your stupid moping pillow. Now go." He hissed, lowering himself so that it would be very easy to strangle Shikamaru if he put up a fight.
"I hate you guys." He grumbled, tossing down his book. "So much." With that, he left the room, and Sasuke leapt on Naruto at once, both of them struggling to get out of their clothes as fast as humanly possible, and into each other.
Six days apart had been akin to physical torture, and Sasuke was determined it would never have to happen again.
--
"I'm going to class, seeya." Tenten waved at her roommate, who proceeded to stare at her fingernails, as though they could somehow make her feel better about everything that had happened recently. Tenten was trying to cheer her up by just being cheerful. It was annoying. She was so happy with Shino all the time. Why did they have to be like that? Couldn't they fight over his bug collection or something?
There was a knock on the door and she heaved herself up, feeling sluggish and unable to really put any effort into anything. She was wearing her comfort pajamas, lounge pants and a thermal shirt. She didn't really want to dress nice ever since what had happened with Shikamaru, and she couldn't even wait until she'd gotten home for five minutes before she was in her pajamas. Maybe tomorrow she'd just wear them to class.
"Hey…" she trailed off as she saw that Shikamaru was standing at her door, looking at least as downtrodden as she felt. "Hey." She repeated the word in a clipped tone and put her hands on her hips. "Can I help you?"
"I…I wanted to talk to you." He sounded weird, and she couldn't decide what it was at first, but then she realized that his tone was…pained, somehow. Meek, and afraid that she wouldn't let him talk at all. She was tempted to slam the door on his face, but she was already so miserable…probably if someone was watching she would have slammed the door…but with him looking at her with that wounded face…
"Fine. Come in." she made a sharp gesture, moving to afford him passage, and he blinked at her in surprise before coming into the room, sitting on her bed without prompting, and looking around, probably feeling a bit nostalgic.
It's been less than a week. He can't be that nostalgic.
"Well?" she prompted him, focusing everything she had on looking outraged to have him even in her room.
"I'm sorry." He blurted out, and she felt the blood drain from her face in shock at the words. "I shouldn't have said what I said, and I'm sorry. I know you probably still don't want me to come around, but I wanted to tell you—"
He was cut off as she pushed him over and climbed on top of him, pinning his shoulders to the mattress and looking at him in a way that made him unsure as to whether she was going to now slit his throat or tear his face off. Either one didn't really sound good. "You're apologizing?" she hissed.
"For…for saying that stuff." He confirmed, a little afraid of her. "I know you're over Sasuke…and I trust you. I shouldn't have doubted, but I can't help thinking it's just crazy for someone like you to want to be with someone like me when you're so…so…"
"So…" Ino's voice became a bit breathy, and Shikamaru swallowed the lump in his throat.
"You're so…beautiful. And even with that, you're smart and you're fun to be with, and you're just…amazing." He didn't have to say anything after that, because she kissed him then, and it was wonderful, and for some reason, he felt like he might cry once more, but instead, he was kissing her back, and when she pulled away, she loosed her grip on his arms, and she smiled down at him.
"I missed you." She told him.
"Me too." He smiled back at her, and then they were kissing again, and of course, that led to more, and after some time, they were laying together, panting and enjoying the afterglow, Ino shifting so she could lie her head in the crook of Shikamaru's arm, which wrapped around her back. "I love you." He told her, surprised at how easy it was to say the words out loud, and surprised to see how much they meant to Ino. She went stiff, looked up at him, and when she apparently decided he was serious, she burst into a short bout of tears. He would probably have felt worse about this, but he could at least tell they were happy tears. She fell asleep like that, and it wasn't until he glanced at the clock while lazily combing his fingers through her hair that he realized he had completely missed his last class.
Oh well.
Sometimes, other things were more important than class.
He fell asleep a bit after that, and when he woke up, she was still in his arms.
He knew that everything in the world was good, then.
--
To be continued…