Chapter 21- I Feel Half Dead

I remember voice, lots of voices. They kept pulling me away from the fountain until I really tried to pay attention. Granted, every time I tried to listen to the voices, my body hurt to the point where I faded back out. I began to think of this as limbo. Faith was never something very important to me, what with all the stealing and pillaging, but I knew enough to know this couldn't be eternity. If there was a hell, mine would be a lot worse than listening to voices.

After a while, focusing became a little easier. My ribs and left hand hurt the worst when I tried. Plus I started to recognize the voices. Murphy talked a lot. Big difference from the man who didn't say more than five words to me when we first met. I found he was easier to concentrate on. "We need to take her to a hospital," he was saying.

"No," Joey said softly. He didn't say it with much authority, just like he was deep in thought. "We couldn't explain this."

"Look at her hand," Murphy tried to keep calm but he was losing that battle. "And you've seen the rest of her. She's been unconscious for a week now," his voice rose so he stopped. There was some rustling around and then he said, "Marko, get her bag. I'll walk her into the fucking emergency room if I have to."

There was more rustling before Joey spoke. "You getting yourself arrested won't help her," he hissed. "Look, she's not bleeding anymore, there's no sign of fever, and we've set her fingers. That's all they would do at a hospital."

"That's bullshit!" Murphy yelled. There was silence for a moment. "What the hell do we do about her then?" He asked, quieter this time.

"We wait," Joey said with a sigh. I felt a hand grasp my non-injured one. It was rough but soft, Murphy. "It's Jack, she'll pull through, she always does."

I floated out for a while. I wasn't sure how long but I found myself standing in front of the waterfall again. The stars still blazed above my head but something was missing this time. I looked around waiting for my father to appear but he didn't. I sat down on one of the rocks and dipped my feet into the water. It had grown colder. I wanted to see my dad. He'd tell me if I was dead or not.

He never came though. I sat by that waterfall for who knows how long, getting bits and pieces of conversations. Murphy kept telling me I was alright but I wondered about that. I wanted to go to him, but that meant the pain would come back. Finally, the waterfall started to fade and my reality became clearer. I wasn't dead, I decided. No, I had to wake up from my limbo world, if for nothing more than to get back at Sir William.

By the time I started to come around, I realized I was right in the middle of another conversation. Murphy sat on one side of me while Connor was on the other side. "Did Joey tell you about the guy who did this?" Murphy asked. His hand was still grasping mine. My lifeline. I wanted to fall backwards again. My ribs hurt, my hand hurt, my head hurt, I could feel the gash on my head, the one on my good arm, the bruises around my feet from the chain.

"Said something about him," Connor said softly. "Said he's had his hand in a lot of weapons deals," Connor paused. "Also said Jack stole from him and this is his revenge."

"Tell you what she stole?" Murphy asked.

"Nope, just something of 'great value,'" Connor imitated Joey with such accuracy I wanted to laugh. Granted that would require me moving and that sounded about as good as going to the dentist.

"He shouldn't get away with this," Murphy growled. I could feel his anger growing. I knew where this would lead.

"He's a bad man," Connor agreed.

I tried to open my eyes but they just wouldn't go. "I bet Romeo could find someone that fucker has pissed off enough to give him up," Murphy wasn't letting go of my hand, the only thing I thought I could move at this point without excruciating pain. I had to do something to keep them on the ship.

"I know where Jack hid our guns," Connor this time. And he didn't know where I hid his guns. Mine, on the other hand, were in the trunk about ten feet away from him. "And I'm sure the crew wouldn't be adverse to us shooting him,"

I was trying to scream that I'd be adverse to it, but my throat wasn't working. I could feel my vocal chords trying, but no noise was coming out. "He couldn't have gotten far," Murphy's brain was turning. I tried to make my eyes open again but they still wouldn't cooperate.

"I'll go talk to Romeo," Connor was standing. I missed the warmth from that side. I tried to speak again and this time I felt gurgling. Closer I suppose. "Get him on the phone, talk to the crew a little."

"Good," Murphy was eerily calm. "We need to get this motherfucker."

I found my voice, harsh as it was. "You can't kill him, I keep trying," I mumbled. My throat was scratchy and it hurt, but it was something.

"Holy shit, Jack," Murphy leaned over me. Connor was trying, but Murphy was hogging all the space.

"Am I dead?" I asked. I only felt about half dead but figured I should ask anyways.

"No," Murphy laughed. "Open your eyes."

My eyelids felt like they weighed about a million pounds but eventually they did manage to pop open, only a little though. Everything was swollen and blurry but I could make out two heads, one dark and one fairer, leaning over me, watching my movements. "Well, look at that," Connor said in his joking voice. "Sleeping Beauty's awake!"

"Shut the fuck up," I groaned and shut my eyes again.

"And still swearing like a sailor," Connor laughed. I moved the good hand up and flipped him off just because that caused less pain than talking. "I'll go tell Joey she's awake," Connor was still laughing but he excused himself and I was alone with Murphy again.

"I thought you were gone," Murphy admitted. I forced my eyes open again to get a good look at him. His eyes seemed watery and there were bags underneath like he hadn't sleep in weeks.

"I thought I was too," I told him raising my hand up again clumsily to rest on the back of his head. "How long have I been out?"

"About a week," he said.

"Great." I stopped and thought time. "And I was gone for what, two weeks? At least Hong will have given up searching for me."

He pulled back but I grabbed his hand. "I don't want you to be mad about my life," I said. "I just want you to stay right now."

"You need your sleep," he kissed my forehead. I didn't even want to think about what I looked like. All bloody gory and covered in bruises.

"I've slept too much," I groaned. "Please stay," I hated begging but there was something inside that needed him to be there. "Please, I don't want to be alone if he comes back," I nearly whispered.

He was quiet so I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to see anymore rejection, especially from him. I'd been let down so much in my life and I knew he'd tried to kill me technically twice now, but he was the only person I felt safe with despite every rational part of me saying I needed to hightail it. My stupid dad was right about my feelings for him. He didn't leave, instead he lifted the covers up and gingerly moved into the bed. His arms went around me and carefully moved me until I was nearly lying on top of him. I fell asleep and this time there were no dreams, just a deep, restful sleep.

"This is stupid," Murphy complained a few days later. He was hauling water in buckets up to my cabin and pouring it into the tub in the corner.

"Shut up, it only takes like two more buckets," I grinned and watched him head back down below where Joey was faithfully heating up water on the stove. I loved my bathtub. It was a twenty dollar purchase from an estate sale but unfortunately, the restrooms on the ship weren't exactly equipped for a tub. So the thing got put in my cabin. With no running water.

Joey had filled me on in what I had missed while being kidnapped and then comatose, emphasizing that Murphy had been the one to save me. After Sir William had grabbed me, the Saints had woken Joey who had immediately taken to the radar. They found Sir William's yacht with little to no trouble. Problem was, it was also surrounded by about ten other, smaller boats with many well-armed men watching out for the Sunset to come after their captain. While I knew virtually nothing about technology, I did know that my ship could jam any other technological advancement making her virtually un-seeable. I didn't know that Sir William's boats were equipped with the same devices and had managed to escape. It was the Saints who had eventually found where Sir William's mini armada was floating in a cove near Texas. It was also Murphy who had jumped in the water and saved my ass from drowning. Joey now saw them as heroes. I didn't tell him how the Saints knew I'd been kidnapped. I was just grateful Murphy had saved me rather than letting me drown for my sins.

"Last two," Murphy warned grunting as he pushed the door to my cabin open again. "How," he started and dumped one of the buckets into the tub, "did I let you talk me into this?"

"Because it would make me feel better?" I asked sweetly. He shook his head and poured the other one in. "How about because you can't stand how bad I stink?"

"That's more like it," he laughed and turned back to me. I hadn't left my bed hardly at all since being brought back. Bathroom trips involved about twenty minutes of painful maneuvering and Murphy carrying me down below. I still had dried blood everywhere from bleeding after being fished out of the water. My pajamas reeked of that iron smell not to mention sweat from nearly a week and a half of being bedridden. My hair was greasy and matted. Still, it had taken me one whole day to convince Murphy to help me take a bath.

He turned to me, proud of his accomplishment before realizing the next hurdle. "Now, how do we get you in there?" He pointed back to the tub.

"Very carefully," I said not looking forward to the next part. He helped me undress and then into the tub, another twenty minute process. I'd expected him to leave, but he sat down on a stool behind me. He even took the shampoo and helped wash my hair. I'd forgotten that it really was nearly down to my waist. I hadn't detangled the mess in a while.

"What did you steal from that man?" Murphy asked after a while. He was carefully combing my hair like I would break from one tug on the strands.

"A locket," I admitted. He was quiet and I could feel his frown on the back of my head. "A very important locket so he kidnapped my best friend as revenge so I blew up his house," I said. There was still silence behind me. "He blames me for his business being ruined."

"He sells guns," Murphy said. "Have you ever worked for him?"

"I don't run guns or drugs," I repeated. "And no. He just happened to have something I needed."

"The locket."

"Yup," I felt his hands stop combing. He wanted to know more about the lockets. I thought about telling him since I had the head injury and all, he'd probably think I was concussed still. I stopped myself though.

"Someone needs to stop him," Murphy changed the subject for me. "He can't just kidnap people. How many deaths is he responsible for?" And there was that anger in his voice again.

"He's too dangerous. Leave him be, he'll get what he deserves." I was confident in that. I had started something by burning down his house. People were becoming less and less trusting with him and the FBI was slowly but surely building a case against him since my fire brought him to their attention. He was losing control of his world and his greed and insanity would only carry him so far.

"Look at what he did to you," Murphy pointed out.

"Don't make this about me," I said. "Before that, you were going to shoot me in the back of the head."

"Maybe we were brought to you to get to him," he thought out loud.

"Gee, thanks for that," I muttered and tried to sit up a little. Pain shot up through my ribs and my sore lungs. Apparently, being half drowned messed with your air intake.

"Sit back before you hurt yourself," his voice was soft. He put his arms around my shoulders and pulled me back against the tub and rested my head on a towel. He kissed my cheek and then rested his chin on the towel. "I'd be happy if that's why I found you."

"I wouldn't," I sighed. "I don't want to be a stepping stone for you to get to something bigger."

"You still think I just want to fuck you," he said as more a statement than anything else. "That's not it." He said it so simply I almost forgot he had tried to kill me. Twice.

"But I don't want to be a part of you mission from god thing," I closed my eyes and let him keep his arms around me. "It's not healthy for someone to hate something so much."

"You didn't see what you looked like when I pulled you out of the water," he told me. "It doesn't matter to me who he is. It matters to me what he did to you."

I felt better after cleaning up. The water was a rust color by the time it had went cold and Murphy forced me out. We didn't talk much after that. I didn't want him to go after Sir William and he didn't want to listen to me. He helped me back to bed, even lying with me underneath the thick covers until I fell asleep again. When I woke up, I was alone. I could hear voices rushing about outside my cabin. I panicked thinking Sir William had found out the ship, or worse yet, that I was still alive. Then I heard Joey call everyone to silence and Connor start to talk. Loudly, like he was prone to do.

"We're not asking any of you to go with us," he started. I slowly eased myself up into sitting position to hear him better. "But you all saw what that warlord did to your captain."

There was another round of mumbling and Connor calling them back to order. I stood up, unsteady of my own legs. It took me a minute to get my wits about. "He broke her fingers, beat her senseless Christ knows how many times, cracked her skull open, and then dropped her into the water to drown," Connor continued. I frowned and ran my good hand over the gash on the side of my head. It didn't feel cracked. I sighed and started to move forward, slowly, my hand holding my ribs tight to keep from doubling over in pain.

"She's one of many," Connor said. "If it doesn't rile you, make your blood boil thinking of what he did to your captain, your sister, think of what he's done to so many others. She wasn't the first and she won't be the last."

I got to the door and slid it open a crack. Connor was standing on top one of the air vent platforms with most of the crew around him, hanging on his words. Murphy stood to the side, looking like he was ready to go right then. "He sells weapons to gangs, drug dealers, murderers. He could take away any one of you or your family," Connor pointed out. "He is a cancer, spreading across your country, threatening the world." That was a bit dramatic, but I gave him credit for the performance. The crew was entranced. I slid out the door and leaned against it.

"We're not asking any of you to go along with us. If you chose to go, it will be your decision," Connor said looking from face to face. "But could you live with yourself knowing you could have stopped him?" Of all the times for my crew to grow a backbone and actually be honorable men, they chose then. A round of cheering went up.

I'd had enough. I pushed off with all my strength and pushed through them. "How is that going to help anything?" I yelled at them. "Blood for blood?" I posed. "You won't be any better than him."

"They will be helping us," Connor looked down at me from his perch. Murphy tried to steady me but I waved him off. I had to look like the captain.

"By getting themselves killed?" I asked returning his glance. I turned back to the crew and said, "Sir William is a smart, but crazy man. He has dozens of men willing to die for him in his employ. You won't win against him and I won't lose any more of my crew to him."

"What are you saying Jack?" Joey asked me.

"I'm saying I forbid any of you from going after Sir William," I said as tough as I could manage. "This is still my ship and that is a direct order." I turned again and tried to walk off as quick as I could but that wasn't an option. It was a long, slow walk but at least no one laughed. To my face that is.