My shoes squeak against the floor as I rush into my office during this hectic day. I can't help but ask myself why children with runny noses was my dream job. What the hell was I thinking? I snatch up my coat, quickly sliding my arms inside and check my phone.

Dr. Black: This sushi place looks amazing. I just walked in. Are you on your way?

My fingers fumble to type out the word yes, as I scurry through my office. I have about forty-five minutes for lunch before my next patient. My heart is already pounding murderously within the confines of its cavity, but I continue speed walking out of the office and across the street through the sharp bitter wind of New York.

A cheerful bell sings over the door as I abruptly push my way inside. I glance around and spot my colleague in the back of the restaurant waiting patiently. I take one deep breath and summon the courage to walk over to her. My feet shuffle across the room until my body is sinking into the seat across from her.

"Hey, I'm glad you could make it." She flashes me her most enticing smile and leans into the table. "I've been trying to meet up with you all week since you've been back."

"I know, I've been-"

"I know you're swamped from missing that week," she smiles sweetly and is about to reach across the table for my hand, but I shy away, hiding my hands beneath the table. She frowns, instantly noting my odd behavior. "Is that the only reason you've been dodging me?" She accuses in a more stern tone, but I can see the hurt glistening in her eyes and the wince she's trying desperately to cover up.

"I think you are misunderstanding what this is," I sigh, hating what's to come because I know she feels more for me than I ever could for her. Truthfully, she's been very kind to me and I don't actually want to hurt her.

"I thought we were enjoying our time together? I assumed we were getting to really know one another," she softly explains, but her brows are pinching painfully together and I see the confusion washing over her.

"We were enjoying our time together, but it was never meant to be anything more than a few fun times. I'm sorry if I mislead you or I wasn't more upfront, but this isn't the start of anything," I gently explain, hoping I can spare her feelings. "I didn't have my phone during my vacation, but when I read your texts," I sigh heavily, my fingers fiddling anxiously beneath the table as guilt consumes me. "I think I realized that maybe I lead you on."

"I'm a big girl Regina," she scoffs and folds her arms protectively over her chest. "I understand that I was a quick fuck to keep your mind busy from your failed marriage and children."

"Fiona-"

"No, I do understand, but apart of me thought we were really connecting and enjoying one another's company," she sadly defends as her arms break apart in defeat. My stomach clenches from the guilt of being so blind in my own depression to see that I was misleading this woman.

"I'm honestly very sorry," I genuinely state as my eyes trail up to meet her hardening gaze.

"So, what? No more sneaking around and endless nights in your bed?" She questions and I can hear the way her foot is anxiously tapping below the table.

"I'm sorry, that-that can't happen anymore."

"Let me guess, Emma realized tossing you out of your own home was a mistake?" She snips, her nails digging deeply into her scrubs and wrinkling them in the process.

"Don't disrespect Emma, you have no idea what our marriage was truly like," I retort with a pointed glare, threatening her silently never to speak about my wife again.

"I know that Emma kicked you out of your house and out of your children's lives as well. I was there Regina," she sighs scooting just a tad closer in her chair. "I watched you fall apart and I tried to help you in whatever way I could."

"And I appreciate all your support, I do, but the fact of the matter is, Emma is still my wife and if she's willing to offer me another chance, then I need to take that. We were together for eighteen years, I can't just give up on her or our family."

"You really want to rush into being tossed out on your ass again?"

"Yes," I reply without a second of hesitation. "I love Emma with all my heart and she's worth the risk." Fiona inhales sharply through her nose and quakes slightly as she releases her breath. "I'm sorry I mislead you and I'm sorry you were caught in the crossfire, but this was never more to me than a few fun evenings. I wanted to explain this in person rather than over the phone, I thought you deserved that."

"Well thanks for that at least," she sincerely states. I smile politely and watch as she fidgets from the awkward tension building between us. "Well do you want to order some lunch?"

"I really should be heading back, besides I really don't think that's appropriate anymore."

"So, this means we can't even be friends anymore?"

"I'm afraid not," we both frown slightly, "I'll still maintain a professional relationship with you. I wouldn't allow the children to see any other orthopedic," I smile, but it's weak and we both know how uncomfortable it is now between us. I slowly rise from my seat and thrust my hands into my coat pockets. "Goodbye Fiona."

She doesn't mutter a word, she sits back in her seat with her lips pursed and only god knows what's running through her mind. I slip out the door and rush back into my office building across the street to finish off my day just as my phone vibrates in my pocket. My heart flutters it's love sick wings in hopes that it's Emma, but I frown slightly when I see that it's my mother.

"Hello," I sigh, not at all hiding the disappointment etching in my tone and push passed the two heavy doors to my office building.

"Regina," she snaps and I know exactly what this phone call is about. She promised me a scolding before I left Sicily and with the holidays I was able to tip toe around the discussion. "We didn't have a chance to speak about a matter that I find quite appalling," she clips and snaps her tongue to express her disappointment in my behavior.

"Mother, now is really not the time. I am finishing with my lunch break and I have a patient in," I quickly pull my phone away from my ear to check the time and exhale slowly, "five minutes."

"Oh we are not starting this same old song and dance again."

"No, no. Of course not," I shake my head violently even though she cannot see the gesture. "I'm just very busy right now since I missed that week. I promise I'm almost all done catching up and by this evening I will be ready to prove to Emma that I'm moving in the right direction," I happily explain, feeling that added weight from my divorce fluttering away from my shoulders and inspiring an extra spring in my step as I enter my office.

"Are you sure?" My mother hums in a low accusing tone that brings me back to a time when she would scold me for lying to her because somehow this woman always knows everything.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Really? There wouldn't be some other woman lingering around to cause more issues between you and your wife?"

"Whatever you heard about Fiona, doesn't matter anymore. She meant nothing to me, she was just a distraction through a couple of lonely nights, that's it and Emma and I have already discussed all of this together," I say with conviction because I know in my heart where my relationship stands with Emma now.

"How dare you do that to Emma," my mother growls into the phone causing my eyes to roll.

"It's not like I cheated mother! It was eight months after her and I split. Everyone seems to forget how hard this was on me as well. I never wanted a divorce. I was kicked out of my house, separated from children and it nearly killed me. Everyone thinks because I was the one who screwed up my marriage that this wasn't as hard on me as it was for Emma and that's just bullshit."

"I never said that one had it easier than the other. Don't put words in my mouth Regina Maria," she berates me once again and my eyes roll around in my head to their own accord. "You need to stop assuming that sleeping around will take your pain away because it does not."

"I never said that it did. I was lonely and for one hour a week, I wasn't drowning in my sorrows over my failed marriage and the ache from missing my children. That's all that it was," I declare just as there is a rapid knock against my door.

Bright blonde hair cascades through the creek in my door before Ashley's timid smile nervously appears. "Dr. Mills, your one o'clock is here," she politely informs me.

"You can call me Regina, we've been through this dear," I smile kindly, but she still is holding the same anxious grin upon her lips. "I'll be right out." She nods and slips through the small gap, closing the door behind her. "I have to go mother, I will speak with you tomorrow, I promise."

"Alright darling, I love you."

"I love you too, goodbye," I sigh again and end the call, carelessly dropping my phone onto the desk before rushing out of my office.

XXXXXXXXX

"Was that the last appointment for the day?" I ask my receptionist as my fingers anxiously tap away against the laptop to finish off the last report.

"Yes, everyone is finished," she informs me, her eyes glued to the bright screen in front of her.

"Very well," I acknowledge and slowly shut the laptop, staring down until she notices my gaze and her eyes drift toward mine. "I meant what I said, no more late appointments. I don't want anything booked after five o'clock," I sternly remind her once again so she won't even think about budging on my request.

I have made my decision, my family comes first. I almost lost them once and I will never allow that to happen again. I made a vow to not only Emma, but myself as well to be more present so I started off with demanding no more appointments scheduled after five o'clock. It's a small gesture, but that will free up some time to finish things in the office before I head home. Another vow I made to myself includes not allowing any work to follow me back home at night. Maybe once a week I will stay late in the office or bring my work home, but I am only granting myself that one late night.

"I understand, Regina," she curtly nods before her tired eyes crawl back toward her screen to finish up her reports for the day.

"Wonderful, Ivy, Ashley and I have one more late meeting this evening so please just lock the door when you leave. Have a nice evening."

"You as well," she replies flatly, her fingers rushing to finish her work so she can head home to god only knows what, most likely her cats.

I lift my laptop off the counter and trek back through the narrow hall into my office. The phone begins ringing so I rush inside and place my laptop down before swiftly snatching up the phone.

"Dr. Mills," I answer and can't help but cringe when I hear the way I'm practically sighing from exhaustion into the phone.

My lawyer begins spewing off information while I wait patiently for him to finish. He's reviewing everything we have already discussed so my mind is somewhat wandering away. My eyes begin scanning my desk for the files I will need for my meeting this evening, my free hand rummaging through a million other sheets until a strange amber fold catches my eye.

I furrow my eyebrows just as Ivy opens my office door with Ashley and a young woman with shiny auburn hair trailing behind. I glance up through my eyelashes to stare down my friend and lift the folder for Ivy to see.

"Yes, George that all sounds correct, but I'm going to have to call you back in the morning. Please go ahead and draw up those papers for us to sign," I quickly instruct and hang up the phone with the mysterious folder still dangling mid air.

"Emma stopped by to drop those off," Ivy nonchalantly replies as she slides into one of the seats next to my desk. Her eyes are already shifting through her papers not at all expressing concern for what might be inside.

"Why didn't you tell me she came by?" I pointedly question as my fingers fumble to unclasp the metal piece on the back.

"You were with the Gibson family and I know they need your attention. Besides, Emma specifically told me not to bother you," she shrugs carelessly as she pulls out the packet she needs and rests it on top of her pile upon her lap. "Alright, shall we begin?" She smiles politely, but I can see the boredom straining in her eyes.

"Of course," Ashley shyly responds as her and the other woman take a seat in front of my desk.

"One moment please," I softly request and peel back the flap keeping these papers hidden from my curious eyes.

All I see is one word, divorce, in big block letters, staring me down like some black hole, sucking all the air from my lungs. My heart thunders angrily in my chest as I rip the packet out from the folder. My stomach flips upside down creating an acidic burn to crawl up my chest and burn the back of my throat. I quickly flip the pages to where the little sign here tabs are purposely marked and I crumble.

My knees give out completely before I fall back recklessly into my chair. I blink, thinking that maybe I'm seeing things and even my thumb has to reach out and touch the curly penmanship of one Emma Swan-Mills.

"Regina? What's wrong? We need to begin," Ivy's voice resonates somewhere in the distance, but it sounds all muffled to my ears.

I swallow back my tears and quickly snatch up the folder lying upon my desk. I shove the papers inside and leap to my feet without another moment of hesitation.

"I have to go," I firmly state, avoiding every set of perplexed eyes gaping at me.

"Regina," Ivy protests as she reaches for my elbow, but I'm quick to jerk away from her unwanted pleas to stay. "We have to go over everything-"

"No Ivy, I have to go. All of this can wait," I strictly declare and rush toward my door to retrieve my black pea coat.

There's a moment of silence and just as I reach for the door handle I take a chance and look back at my friend. She's smiling softly and there's a glint of pride shimmering in her eyes. She nods slowly toward the door and breathes out, "all of this can wait."

I flash her my most grateful smile and rush out the door without another word. I know she will explain a family emergency to Ashley and the other woman for my benefit and I'm so thankful that she is so much more than a partner in our business, but my dear friend as well.

I speed walk down the halls of the building, rushing passed people I hardly ever see who are leaving work for this evening. My heart is beating about a mile a minute and I'm fairly confident that I have stopped breathing sometime between now and when I first laid eyes upon these vile papers.

What on Earth was Emma thinking when she dropped those papers off today? She's been sitting on them like a bird trying to protect her egg for months now and the day after she comes home from Sicily, where we vowed to work on us and spent the entire time airing out our differences, she just tosses them on my desk at work like this wouldn't be a slap to my face?

My mind is buzzing with too many hazardous thoughts that truthfully I don't really want to dive into and worry myself into a frenzy of unknown possibilities. Nonetheless, my hands are trembling violently against my steering wheel and I'm constantly squirming in my seat the entire way to Emma's.

When I finally arrive, my hair is a mess from frantically running my quivering fingers through my knotted strands. My stomach is in such tight coils that I don't think I will be able to properly stand straight up. My legs feel like jiggling jello as I step out of my vehicle and I debate if I will find the strength to keep the stomach acid from bubbling up to the surface.

I run, my mind suddenly stops racing and my feet pick up the slack, dashing toward the front door faster than I have ever ran before. My hands shake like an addict suffering through withdrawals as I sort through my keys for the one I haven't used in eleven horrendous months. I jab the metal into the lock and quickly turn the key while pushing my way across the threshold.

Four heads snap in unison, each one decorated with wide eyes and bewildered expressions gaping over the back of the couch. Every single one of them are wearing the same exact frazzled Emma Swan look upon their faces and I am reminded again to be thankful for Emma carrying all four of our beautiful babies.

I quickly shut the door behind me and shove my hands into my coat pockets. "Where's your mother?" I sternly question and watch as all four sets of eyes drift toward the long winding staircase.

I nod curtly and begin climbing the stairs two at a time not even bothering to remove my shoes at any point in time. When I reach the top of the stairs, I swallow down all my fears and squeeze some of the tension out through my fists. I glance down the dark hall and am greeted with a closed bedroom door.

My hand springs out of my pocket to reach for the handle, but I somehow lost my confidence somewhere upon those stairs. My hand quakes viciously, hovering over the knob while fear for my future wracks my bones like a savage hurricane. This is it, this is the moment where my life is about to change. The answers to all questions lay on the other side of this damn door. When I walk through that door I'm either going to win my wife back or I'm going to be informed that my marriage is now officially over and I will leave this house more alone than ever.

A small sniffle echoes from the other side and suddenly I'm not scared anymore. I muster up all the courage I need and barge right through that door. However the scene that is laid out before me, steals all the energy from my body once again. My heart free falls from my chest into the pit of my stomach and I feel like someone just punched me in the gut, forcing all the air out of my burning lungs.

I gently close the door behind me, eliminating the dim light completely. Emma had closed all the blinds in the room, allowing her peace to cry in the dark. I slowly kick off my boots, peel my coat away and pad across the fluffy carpet toward the bed we once shared. My heart is aching just seeing this bed again, but as fast as thought enters my mind is as fast as it flees.

Gently, I crawl onto the fluffy bed, watching Emma's long back dip further into the mattress from my added weight. She sniffles but that's the only sound through the deafening silence engulfing us. I don't even think or hesitate as I slide behind my wife and drape one arm around her frail looking body. I bury my nose into her silky tresses, inhaling sharply as I squeeze her body closer into mine and drown in her vanilla aroma. Her body molds perfectly into mine like the last piece to a jigsaw puzzle and we both release a deep sigh from the comfort of being wrapped in each other's arms once again.

I don't say a word and neither does she because we both know, right now, all we need is to be held. My heart rate slows down immensely in her presence and I slowly feel that constricting tension drift away from my body. I snuggle in closer and kiss the back of her neck producing a strangled sob to escape her trembling mouth.

"Emma," I softly whisper, slamming my eyes shut because I don't think I'm brave enough to face this world. "What happened? Why did you bring me the divorce papers today?" Another heavy sob erupts from her trembling body so I just hold her closer and tell myself to never let go, never again. "Please talk to me," I plead and fight against my own wobble developing in my throat.

"I-I don't think I can try again. We've been down this road too many times and I always end up getting hurt. I can't risk it. Not again," she stammers through her thick tears and convulsing body.

I place a gentle kiss to her neck again and allow my lips to linger while I find some words to fix this mess we have found ourselves in. "But Emma I swore to you that I would make things right. I told you I'm trying and you promised me that it wasn't just our time in Sicily, you swore...we could work...on us," I struggle with my own words as my dream about a better tomorrow slowly drifts further and further away from my fingertips. Just like that, hot tears burn my eyes and slide down my cheeks like lava spilling down a volcano.

Emma cries hard in my arms, her weak body trembling hazardously while I hold her tight and soak her hair with my own tears. She never responds once to my claim and time just seems to be slowly ticking by, never do our harsh sobs quit.

"Please Emma, don't do this," I beg as another reckless hiccup escapes my mouth.

"I don't know what to do Regina. I don't think I can trust you...not to fall into the same bad habits...again," she sniffles and wipes her nose with a crumbled up ball of tissue she's been clenching between her fists.

"Is this about this week?" I suddenly sober up and my tears vanish into my flushed cheeks, leaving them sticky in the process. I balance myself on one elbow and lean over her trembling bones. "Emma, please look at me, we need to talk," I implore and cautiously reach out to guide her pointed chin in my direction, demanding her undivided attention.

"Regina," she whines, but I hold her wobbling chin into place.

Her eyes are glossy, filled with fat tears that don't seem to be quitting anytime soon. Her flushed cheeks are already stained from the tracks of the hateful liquid and god I wonder how long she's been crying today. My grip tightens upon her chin as I lean down to make sure she's listening to my words.

"Emma listen to me, I..." my mouth snaps shut because I know if I don't say everything I need to right now, I will lose my wife for good and I know I will never be the same. "While you and the children were in Sicily this passed week, Ivy and I purchased a new building for our office. We had been thinking about it for quite some time now, but when I came back from Sicily and I knew you were giving me a second chance, I knew I had to change my life."

Those beautiful green eyes disappear from view as she slams her eyes shut and cries even harder. I rest my forehead against her cheek and absorb as many of those tears as I possibly can.

"Please listen to me," I softly request through my own persistent tears. "I knew it wouldn't be fair to you knowing I worked in the same building as Fiona, so that was the little push I needed to purchase the new building. Ivy and I were talking about it for awhile because Gold kept raising our rent like a greedy little imp," at this a small chuckle breaks through her lips because she never did care for the man. It's not much but it's everything I need to keep pushing forward for our future.

"So, while you were away, Ivy and I found some places, we purchased one and I was trying so hard to have everything done before you came home so all I had to do was focus on us and our children."

"Regina-"

"Please wait," I sigh, lifting my head away from hers and when I peer down, she's staring up at me with a terrifying expression, like I'm the one about to leave her. "Ashley is doing very well and she even brought in someone else. We were about to have a meeting this evening about her new position, but then I saw those stupid divorce papers and I left."

Emma slowly shifts under my weight to look me square in the eyes. "You left?"

"I left. I ran out the door with barely a goodbye and came straight here. I'm sure I will receive a few red light tickets in the mail, but it's fine," I brush off the incident and carefully cup her cheek. "Please Emma I'm doing so much to prove that I can change, please tell me you see that?" I beg as my eyelids flutter closed and I rest my head against hers all over again. I just can't be too far away and risk not showing her enough attention to want to stay with me.

"I-" she falters and my breath hitches because dread washes over me like a crushing wave and I can't seem to keep my head a float. There's no more air left under this tidal wave and I'm struggling to hold my breath. "I see that you're trying," she exhales slowly and squirms into my arms.

My mouth pops open and I suck in as much air as possible while she buries her face against my chest. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around her and hold her impossibly close. I'm not even confident she can breathe but I won't ever let her go.

"Why her? Why not me?" Comes out all distorted and muffled against my shirt, her hot breath warming my aching chest.

"What?" I softly question, slowly running my fingers up and down her back to remind her that I'm right here with her.

"Why sleep with Fiona, when you couldn't even find time with me?" She sniffles and buries her face even deeper into my embrace.

"Emma, you know why," I retort and slowly lift my left hand to run through her long locks. I sigh knowing I have to explain everything if she is ever going to move passed this. "After eight months of being so damn alone, Fiona showed up on my doorstep with a bottle of wine and a sincere smile. I was so fucking tired of being alone with no one to turn to," a new wave of tears fill my eyes and I can't stop them from leaking over the brim.

"You had Ivy, Ruby and Belle," Emma scoffs and I can tell by her tone she doesn't quite understand.

"Ivy is so self involved, besides, she was my friend for so long, she would just call me an idiot every time I tried to express my feelings. Ruby completely took your side and I don't blame her, but it was really unnecessary for her to cut me out of her life altogether. Belle, well Belle would just sympathetically frown, but never offered true advise and I could tell I was making her uncomfortable because she was all Team Emma. And my mother, well we all know how critical she can be..." I trail off as Emma nods against my chest, her tears slowly subsiding and just sniffles are left to stop her leaky nose.

"Anyways, I just wanted to talk to someone and express my feelings about being kicked out and missing my children without someone being so bias. So, I stepped aside and allowed Fiona inside. I poured my heart out, she listened intently and most importantly quietly, while she poured glass after glass of wine. She left that night and I felt somewhat better, finally releasing some of the stress that was weighing down on my heart."

"That's what psychologists are for, you know," Emma deadpans but I swear there's a hint of humor lingering behind that statement.

"Do you want the whole truth?"

"Keep going," she exhales and nuzzles closer to my chest, tucking her fists beneath her chin.

"The following week she showed up again at my doorstep with another bottle of wine and take out and I hadn't eaten in god knows how long so I stepped aside again. Things...occurred that night...and I didn't stop it because for once my mind wasn't beating my soul down with everything I did wrong in my marriage." My fingers abruptly stop in the webs of her tangled hair and I ponder for a moment about what I truly want to say next.

"I know you think I was making time for her and not you, but you need to understand that, that wasn't the case. When I came home from a long day at work, I had to walk on eggshells, terrified I upset you once again while trying to pay attention to our children. When Fiona came around, our children weren't there and I was lonely. She only turned up once a week, never requesting any more attention then the few hours I offered late in the night. I never called, texted or showed any type of attention. It was easy and I know it kills you and I'm so sorry Emma, but she never asked for my love and devotion. It was just sex, nothing more. With you it was always more, you needed my love and attention and I'm not blaming you at all, I just need you to see everything for what it truly was."

Emma sighs heavily against my chest before she slowly drifts away and gazes up at me with these pleading puppy dog eyes that instantly break my heart all over again. Those dull green eyes are coated in thick tears and I just want to kiss away her pain, but I don't, not wanting to push her in anyway.

"You say you never called or texted but I saw messages," she rebuttals, intensely holding my gaze and daring me to make up some excuse.

"Yes, I would say the last two weeks before I left she started coming around more and offering more of herself. I was too wrapped up in arguing with you and worrying about our children that I didn't really pay attention to what was happening. She was developing feelings that I just could never return." I gently place my index finger below her sticky chin and guide her head up just a little more so I can really lock onto her enticing eyes. "My heart belongs to you. It always has and always will."

Her breath catches in her throat as her eyes dart all around my face, searching for some uncertainty in my confession. My mind is screaming to capture her lips and seal my love with the most passionate kiss but I can't find the courage. She looks so small in this moment and I can't be selfish and hurt her anymore.

Emma's eyes slowly flutter closed as she spins around in my arms, never uttering one single word. The world falls silent around us and it's the loudest silence I have ever heard, urging me to bury my face in her soft curls and pretend this world doesn't exist. She doesn't make a move to extract herself from my arms so I pull her flush against my body and cuddle into her back.

My mind is swarming with negativity, stinging and inflicting my brain with thoughts of her leaving me yet again. I can't stop the tears as they trickle through my clenched eyes and my body succumbs to crying all over again. I hold on for dear life and silently pray that she gives me just one more chance to prove my love for her.

"Please," I bark out through a heavy sob, clinging onto my wife just one last time. "Please don't leave me again. I love you so much Emma." Her stomach clenches beneath my arm and I feel the way her tears consume her entire body once again. "I-I can't..."

"I know," she cries out and slithers her fingers in between mine, holding me even closer. She kisses each one of my knuckles and I honestly have no idea if she's kissing me goodbye or kissing promises for our tomorrow.

The room falls silent all over again while we hold each other through the evening. I'm not sure how long we lay like that, unmoving without any sounds, until we hear feet padding through the hall. I think Emma may have fallen asleep, but I don't risk popping this intimate bubble to check. I listen to our children, faint whispers and laughing as they prepare for bed and my heart warms with a kind of love that could never be replaced. I would give anything to be in this home again.

Out of nowhere there's movement at the foot of the bed, demanding my full attention. I snap my head toward our feet to find a small fluff ball cuddling between mine and Emma's feet.

"Emma? What the hell is a dog doing in this bed?"