Chapter 21

As always thanks to my beta FlorrieJade, she is a rock star!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

"We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us."

-Lucy Maud Montgomery

EPOV:

Everything felt like it was in slow motion as I took off, running as fast as my legs would carry me toward the crushed car. Even though the car was only 200 meters away, it felt like I was running forever and getting nowhere fast.

I felt out of breath and like someone had been sitting on my chest when I finally got there, maybe it was because I had been screaming her name constantly for the entire run.

When I got to the car I almost ripped the door completely off its hinges to get to Bella, who was hunched over in the driver's seat. My heart dropped into my stomach when I laid eyes on her, she had blood trickling down her temple and down the side of her face, starting somewhere in her hair. She was muttering to herself with silent tears running down her cheeks.

"I need….I needed to te-tell you that I l-lo-love you. I needed you-u." She muttered with her eye's closed.

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry. Oh my god!" I told her as I took off her seat belt. The flame under the car was slowly getting bigger and I knew I didn't have long before the car would go up in flames, the flame was right near the petrol tank. Being careful not to move her to much, I gently pride Bella from the car.

While resting her head on my shoulder I carefully cared Bella away in my arms. I walked away as quick as I could while trying not moving her too much, I still didn't know how bad her injuries were. When I got far enough away, Jasper was already there with his medical kit, ready to help while Emmett was talking rapidly on his phone, directing the ambulance to our location. Everyone else looked confused, everyone except of Jacob, who was crying and screaming her name, fighting Sam to try and get closer to her. I had no idea what his deal was but at the moment he is far from my first priority.

"Put her down gently here, be careful not to move her neck." Jasper told me as he helped me guide her on to the rug he had laid out. As soon as she was fully down on the rug he moved into action, slowly talking to himself what he was seeing and what he needed to do to treat her.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me?" I asked as I gently brushed he bloody hair out of her face. She muttered a few words but none of which sounded like English, she was all kinds of fucked up.

"Bella, I- I love you to-too! You can't leave m-me, you can't! I whispered into her ear while gently stroking her cheek, tears flowing steadily down my cheeks. I knew I seemed weak at the moment to all the others but I didn't give a fuck, of the first time in my life I didn't have full control of the situation. I couldn't help her. Then things took a turn for the worst.

"Fuck! She's having a seizure!" Jasper yelled as he tried to keep and hold her into the safety position on her side.

"Bella! BELLA, NO!" I screamed at her because I had no idea what else to do.

"Ed, come on you don't want to see this" Emmett said as he grasped my arms and tried to pull me away. I shook him off.

"NO! Fuck off she needs me! I've already let her down too much; I won't let her down again!" I screamed at him as I fell to my knees next to her. Thankfully her seizure had stopped but I knew that the damage may have already been done, and that thought alone made me just want to take my gun and blow my own head off, because all this is my fault. I should have supported her, I should have never left her, I should have protected her!

I could hear sirens in the distance and saw Emmett get in his car and take off, he was going to lead the ambulance to us as the road was unmarked and not registered as a road. It was a flurry of activity once the ambulance arrived, I cannot even remember what had happened fully, all I can remember is insisting that I ride in the ambulance with her. The ambulance drivers tried to tell me no but that didn't work out for them, I just shoved my way on and sat down, refusing to move.

Once we arrived at the hospital they were all yelling at each other as the wheeled her on her gurney down the hallway. I didn't know what they were saying as it was all medical talk but I could tell by their tone that it was not good.

As we went through the next set of doors, a security man approached me.

"Sir, you cannot be here. You need to wait in the waiting room".

I pushed past him and kept on walking by Bella's side, her hand in my own.

"Sir!" Security yelled as he placed his hand on my shoulder, yanking me back. My fist flew out as a reflex, punching the man in the face. I then rushed back to Bella's side, only to be tackled to the ground by three security men a few moments later while Bella was rolled into surgery. After a nurse insured me that there was nothing I could do and that I couldn't be with her, I then settled for waiting in the waiting room.

Emmett and Jasper were already waiting for me in the waiting room, as I sat no one said a word. There was a eerie silence that filled the room, it was unnerving and reflected just how I felt inside. Hollow.

A half hour later, Jacob and Sam arrived, Jacob was a mess.

"What's your deal? You don't even know her!" I snapped at him, I was irrationally pissed off but at the moment I had no control over my emotions.

"Bullshit, I don't know her! I've known her since we were in diapers! Our dad's are best friends! Now what the fuck did you do to her Cullen?!" He yelled at me, it took me a few moments to process what he just said.

"So wait, you know Bella?" I asked dumbfounded, feeling very out of the loop.

"Yes, I know Bella! Now what the fuck did you do!" He screamed as he advanced on me, about to beat my ass to the fucking ground. I just stood there and waited for the punches to start flying, in fact I embraced them, I wanted to be punished for what I have caused. I already felt like the biggest piece of shit that every stepped foot on planet earth, I wanted the pain that I have now earned myself. However just as I was about to get my ass handed to me, Emmett stepped in.

"I'm sorry man, Edward is a dick but he is a dick that is my brother, and I can't let you hurt my brother." Emmett warded Jacob off, holding him back as Jacob struggled to get to me.

"She is the most kind hearted and wonderful person I have ever met Cullen. If you have killed her or caused her permanent damage I swear to god that I will fuck you up so badly you won't be able to move for a month! I don't care who you are, if you hurt my family, I will hurt you!" Jacob spat at me, he had such venom in his words that I had no doubt that he would honor his words.

"I know just how great she is, I love her, and if she is harmed or de-." I chocked on the word that is my worst fear.

"—If she dead I will load the bullet in to the gun for you. If you don't do it, I will just do it myself" I solemnly told him, my eyes becoming glassy at the thought of Bella not recovering. I had no idea what to even do with myself, all I felt was despair.

"Don't talk like that, I'm sure she will be fine and pull through this. Now let's all just sit down and wait before we do anything to rash." Jasper spoke being the voice of reason, gently guiding me to a seat and placing me in it. My legs collapsed under me as my ass met the seat.

I sat on the seat for what felt like hours. People would ask me questions but I would never reply. People would touch me but I wouldn't respond. I was barely functioning and I truly thought that if I moved or said on word, I would break down and cry right here on the waiting room floor. For once my fate was in someone else's hands and I hated that. I wanted to help and save her but there was nothing I knew how to do that would help.

About 40 minutes had passed of waiting when a tornado names Alice came blowing into the hospital. She was a ball of fury, all red in the face and screaming.

"What the fuck did you do Edward? What have you not caused her enough pain already? It took me weeks to get her to be somewhat happy and look what happened, she took one look at you and ended up in the hospital!" Alice screamed so loudly at me that every single soul in the waiting room turned to see what was happening.

"Alice honey, you have to calm down. Edward didn't do anything." Jasper whispered to Alice as he rubbed her back to calm her, his words only seemed to infuriate her more though.

"Bullshit 'Edward did nothing', was breaking her heart and spirit not enough that you wanted to break her bones too? I hate you Edward, I HATE YOU ALL! And if my best friend is dead I can guarantee that you all will be joining her!" She spat as she shoved Jaspers hand off her and stomped across the room to sit down. She only lasted a few minutes before she burst into tears, her sobs echoed through the room. I looked up and saw that she was now curled in a ball on Jaspers lap, he was hugging and comforting her as best he could, she had calmed down from her hysterical state.

Rose also arrived around the same time as Alice, she however just slinked in and sat down quietly. This was just as much her fault as it was mine, she was the one who encouraged and taught Bella to race in the first place. Part of me really wanted to go over there and yell and scream at her, but then what good would that do for Bella. I already had too much on my mind, Rosalie was barely a blink on my radar at the moment.

"Isabella Swan" an older gentleman in scrubs announced to the room, glancing around looking for us. I immediately reacted.

"Yes sir, I'm here for Bella" I said as I advanced towards him, he looked at me with sad eyes.

"Are you her family? Husband maybe?" He asked me hopefully.

"No, I'm not but-"

"I cannot give out any patient details until her family is informed sir" He said interrupting me. I was about 5 seconds away from forcing him to tell me, or giving him a hefty bribe when Carlisle appeared at me side.

"Is my Bella alright? She is my daughter!" He rushed out, playing the role that he needed to play just perfectly. I sighed with relief.

"Well then, Hello Mr. Swan, My name is Dr. Gerald Sutherland and I am Bella's doctor and surgeon. Now your daughter received a lot of injuries from her car accident but I am happy to say that I believe she is going to make it through it…" He told us, I almost collapsed and started thanking god for the miracle that has occurred today.

A tear slipped down my cheek, I quickly wiped it away before someone saw.

" Now she did suffer some major injuries and she underwent some extensive surgery, she is going to be in a world or pain for the next few months. She has broken 3 ribs, one of which punchered her right lung. She had a lot of fluid gather in her lungs which we drained and fixing the whole but she will find breathing difficult for a while. Her seat belt also shattered her pelvis and a shard of bone sliced through the hepatic vein, her internal blood loss is what caused the seizures. Thankfully we managed to get that under control quick. She also broke many bones in her hands, her right femur and her right radius but other than that she is fine." He said with a smile, I wanted to punch him in the face.

'Other than that', what the fuck did he mean by that. He pretty much just listed every part of her body and told me it was broken. I felt sick.

"Can we see her?" Carlisle asked, he must have sensed I was chomping at the bit to finally see her. I just need to see her face, watch her breath and know that she is ok before I can function again.

"Yes sir, right this way." The doctor said, leading us both down a hall and into Bella's room.

When I finally saw her there was no more hiding my tears, she looked so broken that it broke my heart. She was lying on her bed on her side of the room, there was another empty bed on the other side of the room, she had a tube stuck down her throat that I knew was helping her breath and casts covering most of her body. She was asleep, well more like comatose, with tubes and wires all around her. I wanted to touch her and tell her that everything was alright, that I was here for her and that I was never going to leave her again. So that is what I did, I sat down in a chair next to her bed, took her frail little hand in my own and I told her how much I loved her. I told her that I was never leaving her and that for good or for bad we were in this together.

I may go to church every Sunday, but for the first time in years I prayed. I thanked god for looking out for Bella and helping her get through this, I thanked god that she was alive and I asked that he help her heal. I told him that she was my world and that if either one of us had to leave this earth, I pray that it be me.

A/N: Please keep the reviews coming, they keep me writing! I hope you liked it

All My Love,

xoxoxoxox