A/N: Thank you all for reviewing, favoriting and putting this on your alerts. I'm so sorry that it took so long! Forgive me! :3 You'll see what I did with Morrigan…
When Two Are One
"If things were perfect, we wouldn't have met."
Alistair didn't like the way Neria and Flemeth were talking. The dark-haired woman wasn't to be trusted; he knew that much. The way she spoke, the look in her eyes… it was all disconcerting. Zevran stood near the two women and, if Alistair knew him, he was probably listening. He reached up a hand and scratched the back of his neck as Theron made his way over.
"The rest of Ferelden's going to think that we're dead," he told the elf.
The Dalish man nodded. "I'm not sure whether that's an advantage to us or not."
Alistair had to agree. There were so many things that needed to be done. He wasn't a Warden after all; what could he do? That was just another thing Cailan had managed to interfere in before he died. He knew that he shouldn't think ill of the dead, but in the circumstance, it just couldn't be helped.
"You and Neria are the Wardens," he said, "what do you think should be done?"
Theron sighed. "I still have the treaties," he said. "We can call upon those who still owe the Wardens. What's left of us at least," the elf looked away for a moment. "We're going to have to get your Queen's help toward the end."
Alistair felt his heart jump slightly at the mention of her. Did she know that he was 'dead'? What about Teagan? Eamon? Fergus? Maker, it gave him a headache. She was all alone though. Not that he doubted she could handle things on her own, but if Loghain was capable of turning his back on the fight that lead to the downfall of the king, then he was capable of so much more.
"I want to help you as much as I can," he told his friend. "We can deal with going to Denerim after we collect on those treaties."
Theron gave him a small smile and clapped him on the shoulder. "It'll be good to have you around." Maker, he hoped so. He didn't want to go into hiding, nor did he want to run back to Redcliffe or Denerim. Unlike most people, apart from those who had been at Ostagar, he knew the things that needed to be done to stop the Blight. He may not have been a Warden, but he was close to it, at least in his hear,t and it was his heart that he needed.
Alistair looked to see Zevran and Neria coming towards them with Flemeth. "So, you have a plan then?" The dark haired woman asked. He didn't feel like he should tell the woman they barely knew, but she had proven to want them alive for some reason. A reason it seemed that only Neria would know. "I asked a question, boy."
He rolled his eyes. "Maker forgive me for not knowing who you were addressing," he said. He still couldn't believe she was the fabled 'Witch of the Wilds.' it sounded like a load of-
"Alistair," Theron sighed.
"Right," he continued, "we've got the treaties. Might as well take a few steps ahead of Loghain while he and the rest of Ferelden think we're dead."
"It won't last long," Zevran chimed in. "Someone's bound to recognize us, no? We aren't exactly the blending in type. Three elves and a human, someone's bound to question us."
"We've got allies we can seek out," Alistair added. "Teagan, Arl Eamon, Fergus…" He didn't want to say her name. His stubbornness stopped him from doing that.
"Raina," Zev said it for him.
Alistair looked at Flemeth. He felt like those piercing golden hues were seeing right through him, as if she was reading what he secretly wanted. Though it wasn't much of a secret; he wanted to be in Denerim, but he wouldn't leave his friends. "She will be fine," Flemeth told him.
His eyes narrowed. "Hey," he began to protest.
Neria interjected, "Let's just get moving."
Flemeth dismissed them before she went back into her hunt.
"Where to first, my friends?" Zev asked. Alistair glanced at the two Wardens.
"The easiest would be the Dalish," Neria replied as she looked at Theron. Alistair watched as his face hardened. He wondered if they would be seeing Theron's old clan. He guessed the same thought was on his friend's mind. He didn't catch the weary look on Zev's face.
They could do it, couldn't they? They could raise an army to stop the Blight, maybe unite Ferelden in the process, and he would see Raina again.
There was a soft knock at her bed chambers and Raina looked up from the window seat she had perched herself on as she read her book. Her eyebrows furrowed together slightly. "Yes?" She asked.
A small, red-haired elf walked in. "Forgive me, Your Highness," she said. "I've been asked to deliver this to you." She raised her hand with a folded piece of parchment.
Raina closed her book and stood from the window seat to go to the elf. She gave her a small smile. "What's your name?" She asked as she took the paper.
"Shianni, Your Highness."
"It's nice to meet you, Shianni," she said. "Will you tell me who gave you this?" Her fingers looped under the free space between the paper and the wax seal.
"An Antivan fellow," the elf replied. Raina felt her heart soar for a moment. That was impossible, wasn't it? It couldn't have been Zevran. He was believed to be dead. She thought she was being silly. There were plenty of Antivans in Ferelden. She felt her eyes water and her throat tighten.
"Did he give you a name?"
Shianni shook her head. "No, I'm sorry Your Highness," she said and then Raina dismissed her. As she turned to leave, the elf stopped at the door and turned to face the Queen. "But he did say you would know who wrote it."
"Thank you, Shianni." Raina sighed heavily. "Wait, did the man pay you?"
"Yes, ma'am," she replied.
"I won't forget this, I promise." The red head smiled at her and Raina watched as she closed the door.
She went to her bed and sat down. Her legs were shaky enough, she didn't need to have a reason to fall. Who wrote the letter? Her hands shook as she opened it. She was greeted with dark, curvy strokes of penmanship and a voice that went along with the writing that was all too familiar.
Ah, my dearest friend, you didn't think I would lie down that easily to the impending doom that is the darkspawn? Tsk, tsk. I thought you knew me better than that by now, no? I live, as well as your lover, though I must say he's a little more apt to finish our travels if it means to see you again. All is well, I hope? I would have gotten this to you sooner if I could, but I had to find someone I trusted well enough to see this delivered. We're in Lothering, stopping for rest. We've already collected the Dalish's word on a treaty for our dear Wardens.
A small cry of relief escaped her as she paused from reading. They were alive! Thank the Maker! This letter must've been old. She had gotten the news of Lothering falling to the darkspawn a week ago. They were still receiving refugees from the village. She had pulled an unprecedented move and opened the castle for those whose homes had been destroyed thanks to the Blight. The nobles protested, but it was what her father would have done. Fergus had done the same in Highever at Castle Cousland and she had heard that Anora and Nathaniel had followed suit in Gwaren. Her blue eyes glanced back down at the paper and continued to read.
I can't tell you where we will go next in fear this letter might be intercepted. It is only a matter of time before Loghain and his taciturn followers catch up to us. No one knows I'm writing this either, I am simply awesome, am I not? I know you're smiling now.
But I'm off point. We will come as soon as we can.
The letter had ended abruptly there. Raina bit her lower lip as she leaned back on her bed. They were alive. In all her grief, she finally felt like a weight had lifted from her heavy heart. She had thought a part of herself died when she was told of Alistair's death. Teagan needed to find out, but she couldn't leave the castle and he wasn't expected for a month's time. She couldn't write a letter either. Loghain and his newest lackey Vaughn had been lingering all too much around the castle's halls, even though she was sure that the Arl of Denerim had his own home to parade around in.
She moved quickly from her bed to the fire place with the letter in her hand. She held valuable information and she could not put the Wardens and Zevran in danger. She brought the parchment up to her lips and kissed it lightly, smiling before she tossed it into the fire.
She didn't retire for the night until the fire died and the letter disappeared into the ashes.
The next day she received unexpected company.
"Anora…this is certainly a surprise."
The blonde smiled at her. "I fear we must have a conversation…in private."
Raina dismissed those around her as she stood up from the stone bench that she had been sitting on in the royal gardens. "What is it?" She asked. Her fingers smoothed out the front of her dark lavender dress as she stared at the former queen. Anora seemed to hesitate for a moment. Even though Raina had not used her rogue abilities in a long time, she had not lost her sense of observation.
"How is my father?" She asked.
"I wouldn't know," the Queen replied. "He certainly doesn't speak with me unless he has to. Why do you ask?"
"You of all people should know that family is the most important thing in life," Anora started as her eyes looked up at Raina. "But one would also be a fool to see that there aren't certain aspects of life that need to be on the top of the priority list." She really wished that the other woman would get on with it. "I never thanked you. I suppose that I was bitter to lose my status and become heir to a Teyrnir, but I knew I wasn't happy back then like I am now. I'm sorry for the grief that everything I've done, and what Nathaniel has done, has caused you, but now I wish to repay a debt."
Raina folded her arms in front of her body. "Such as?"
"Be careful," Anora said. "Believe it or not, I do not wish to be Queen again, so just be careful." Was there a compliment in there somewhere?
A smile formed on the young Cousland's face whether she had liked for it to be there or not. As much as she hadn't liked Anora, she still held a certain…respect for the other woman. "I'll do my best," she replied. "Come, you've travelled a long way. You must be starving."
The two women chatted the rest of the day about how their two parts of Ferelden were handling the Blight. Anora offered her condolences about Cailan and Alistair. The latter had surprised her a bit, but it was no secret how the two felt about each other, even though in the latest year it would have been put into question. The newest Howe asked what she would do about the Blight and the hoard heading for Denerim.
The question had weighed heavy on Raina's mind. She didn't want to give it away that she knew the Wardens were still out there, but she knew that as the ruler, she had to defend her nation, her home. What she didn't have the heart to tell Anora was that she had no faith in Loghain as a general. He had done great things in the past, but he was a different man now. She placed her faith in her current regent, her brother, Fergus.
It had been days since they had left Lothering, but the news of its fall had caught up to them quickly. They had made camp a mile from Redcliffe, though he didn't understand at first why they couldn't continue into the village. Theron and Zevran had both advised against it. When he saw the knights bearing Loghain's crest passing their hidden nook off the road, it had been enough of an explanation. Alistair glanced over at Zevran and he watched carefully as the Antivan seemed to be writing.
"What are you writing, Zev?" He asked.
The blonde looked up and a small smirk played across his dark features. "Alistair, my friend, it is nothing you should worry your pretty little head over. It is my turn for watch, no? Rest. Tomorrow is a new day." He paused. "May I ask you something?"
Alistair raised an eyebrow. "Yes."
"Is it wise to go into the village? I mean, it is an obvious choice for you to go if you survived the battle, is it not?"
He had thought about that. They needed allies beyond those who were obligated by an ancient piece of paper. That, and he couldn't go on much longer knowing the man who was the closest thing that he had to a father thought that he was dead. "If Loghain's men are there, let them come," he said. It was a new side of Alistair that seemed to surprise Zevran. Though he was sure the Antivan would be proud. He was tired of being the one that always stood back, who had to be hidden, who had to do what was better for those around him than for himself.
"Ah," the elf grinned, "it is nice to meet the new Alistair. Very saucy. Be careful. You might actually make me hot for you."
Alistair shook his head and went inside his tent, hearing his friend laugh as he did so.
Morning came quickly and he was up with the sun, packing his things as the others readied to move on. As they made their way to Redcliffe, he watched Neria and Zevran as they walked hand in hand, and was a bit surprising to see. "I see you haven't heard them at night," Theron said next to him. He made a motion towards Sten. "He complains about it all the time."
Alistair laughed a bit. "It doesn't take much for him to complain." Sten muttered something behind them that he didn't catch, but it made him grin. "See?" It was Theron who laughed then.
"Are you ready for this reunion?" The Dalish man asked. "After this, everyone's going to know we're alive."
He sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "It's about sodding time."
His friend grinned. "Ma serannas, I agree."
It didn't take them long to reach Redcliffe's castle. Alistair had noticed one of the guardsmen run ahead of them as they approached so it was no surprise to see Eamon and Teagan rushing out to meet them in the courtyard.
"Alistair!" Teagan cried. "I can't believe it. We thought…we all thought…" He knew. He felt tears welling up in his eyes as the Bann pulled him into a hug. "I had feared the worst. I didn't want to believe it. Somehow… Somehow I knew."
Alistair pulled back to look at him. "It's good to see you," he told him. He turned to Eamon and the Arl pulled him into a hug as well.
"You gave us quite a scare, my boy," he told him.
"We even held a funeral for you," Teagan added. "I…"
"I'm sorry it took us so long," Alistair told him. "I couldn't go on another day without you knowing. It's the least that I owe you." He turned to Eamon. "You as well."
"This must be the other Wardens. Zevran, it is good to see you again," Eamon greeted them. "Come into the castle. There is much to discuss."
"You lot go ahead of us," Teagan said. "I wish to speak to Alistair alone." The group nodded and obliged. The red-haired man turned to look at him that time. A somber expression had entered his features and Alistair felt like a little boy again, ready for a scolding. "You shouldn't have come here, you know. It was very foolish."
"I've been foolish for most of my life, Teagan," Alistair replied. "This is one of the smartest things that I've ever done."
"You do not care if Loghain finds out you are alive? His spies are everywhere."
"I don't care," he answered. "He isn't the one who rules Ferelden, now is he?"
"Do you know what it'll do to the Queen?"
"Does she even care?" Alistair found himself retorting. The moment after the words left his lips he instantly regretted them. He knew the answer. He clenched his jaw, begging the emotion scratching at the surface to go back down. He didn't want to revert back to the old Alistair, where tears came so easily, but if there was ever a weakness…
"She hasn't been herself since hearing what happened to you," Teagan replied. "I fear for her safety as well. Every time I've tried to reach her, I've heard nothing in return."
Alistair moved past him. "And what would you have me do? I can't just abandon-"
"I would have you follow your heart," the older man replied quietly, but it was loud enough to make Alistair stop his own words. His heart. That was such a fickle thing, something he still had trouble following, even though he knew it was really the only thing he had left that was his. Though that wasn't really true, was it? His heart belonged to Raina the moment he met her. The snark, the dark hair, the piercing blue eyes and the uncanny ability to kick anyone's ass… he was doomed from the beginning.
Alistair nodded slowly. "I understand."
What did he want to do? He wanted to see Raina. He wanted to hold her, tell her everything was going to be alright. He wanted to feel her pain, take it away from her and make it his own, but together, they could become whole again. In a time like this, he had to put aside his wants and do what he needed. She was a strong woman; there was no doubt about that. She would be able to handle whatever was thrown her way, and if town gossip had been anything, she had been a good Queen.
The people's faith in her was all she would need. She could wait to see him, as much as it hurt to think such a thing. It was better for her heart to be on the mend and think he was dead, than for something to happen to him and cause her heart to break again. He couldn't bear it. There had been too much heartache already. Alistair brought up a hand and wiped away the tears that had gathered. So much for not crying. Weakness. That's what it was, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He looked up at Teagan, eyes slightly stained red from emotion and the older man gave him a soft, understanding smile.
He had a job to do. While he may not have been a Warden, he felt that he was as close to one as he could be. She'd be proud of his decision, wouldn't she? He was done making mistakes. He was done listening to others. Wouldn't Teagan be proud too? Somehow he felt like he knew the answer to both questions already. He'd help stop the Blight and maybe he would be worthy again.
Teagan made a motion for him to follow as he made his way up the steps of the castle. "Come," he said, "there is much to discuss."