A/N: So, Dead Space 2 swallowed me whole. So, go load up the OST, and play Lacrimosa while you read this. The soundtrack is phenomenal.
I kicked a spent heat sink across the cargo hold. It clanked on the bulkhead of the far side. No one said anything, most staring at me as I fumed. I don't think anyone had ever seen me that angry.
"EDI!" I called out. "How many did you space?"
"Approximately twelve, Commander."
"How many did the crew get?"
"Another eight confirmed killed, Commander. Unknown wounded."
"Good," I said. The place was a mess from the rush of air that had sucked the Collectors out into the cold reaches of space. Behind me, I heard Tali shift. I turned back to my people. I had all of my inner circle, plus a section of drop troopers. We had installed the IFF, found a Blood Pack base, and leveled it. We had been coming back, slapping each other on the back. I mean, the second big win in a couple of weeks, putting both the Blue Suns and the Blood Pack back on their heels as we destroyed their depots. Hell, we even struck out at the geth, stole some of their technology. Everyone had been happy, and then this. I walked forwards, trampling anything that managed to get underfoot- some paper, another heat sink, a chipboard. At least my people had fought tooth and nail. I heard murmurs behind me. Legion was asking questions. Others wondered about my mental state.
I ignored them as I walked towards the elevator. I heard two sets of feet pounding towards me. I turned to see Jack and Tali there, slowing down to walk beside me.
"Are you...are you okay?" Tali managed to ask. Jack had a vicious grin on her face. Her machinegun was slung, and a furious light flashed in her eyes.
"We're fucking gonna kill them all, aren't we?" she asked, boonie hat flopping low.
"Each and every one of them, Jack," I said, turning on my heel. "And I'm fine, Tali. Don't worry."
She stood there a moment before chasing after me and Jack.
"You're acting bizarrely, Commander."
"I am?" I said, trying to keep my voice level. This had been my home. They had taken my friends, my surrogate family. They had defiled my home.
"Just like after Admiral Kahoku died...oh, kee'lah. You're going to lay waste to them," Tali said, realizing how absolutely furious I was. The door closed behind me, and it was just me and Jack. She paced like a caged animal.
"I'm going to tear those bastards limb from limb, Commander."
"Why the hell are you angry, Jack?"
"This was the first place I ever actually felt safe. I started to make friends here. Ken and Gabby actually weren't half bad. You're not the only one hurting, asshole," she yelled at me before stepping off on the crew deck. I shut the door, carried on up to the bridge.
Joker was waiting for me, grumbling. I could see a pain patch on his forearm, and he had his hat off. That was never a good sign. He rubbed absently at it, baseball hat next to him as he leaned up against the console by the galaxy map.
"Joker?" I called out cautiously.
"Commander...I'm sorry."
"You did better than the twenty marines did."
"I know. It's just...I wish I hadn't failed."
"You didn't."
"Sure feels like I did, Commander," he said, gesturing around at the empty deck before wincing. I grinned coldly at him, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.
"Hey, you were afraid."
"Yeah. I was. So what? Doesn't excuse letting my friends get kidnapped."
"Nope. But you have to realize something- you don't recoil from what you're afraid of. You hunt it. You have -singularly- the fastest, stealthiest, most heavily armored ship in the galaxy. Short of a ship of the line, you conveniently also have the better firepower in our broadside than any two out there. We're going to shell those bastards so hard not even the air stands upright, Joker," I told him, my voice quivering as I shook with rage.
"No one fucks with our crew, Joker. Ever. Not with our friends, our families, ever. "
I saw something light in Joker's eyes. Something furious. He was used to being weak, to not being afraid, to excelling at anything he put his mind to. I could see it in the set of his jaw- he was going to have the fight of his life when we found the Collectors. He, like Jack, was going to be an avatar of fury. That's what I wanted. I heard the doors of the elevator whoosh. It was eerie, being able to hear small noises like that. Miranda and Garrus emerged with a small crowd. Both were issuing orders as Joker and I turned to them. There were some 'yessir's and 'yes ma'am's chorused as the two divided up the crew to various tasks- cleanup, maintenance, security. Both turned, saluted me crisply.
"Ready for orders, Commander," Miranda said as I returned the salute. She was clearly distressed, and had fallen back on protocol to handle my mood.
"Bring us about, we're going through that Goddamn relay right now," I said before turning around. "Get everyone ready for one hell of a fight."
Zaeed got into the elevator with me. It was just another day for him. He looked at me, cold blue eye steel. "You're looking for hell, Commander," he said, shaking loose a smoke. He held it up to me in the silence of the elevator moving up towards my cabin. I took it, looked at it. I hadn't smoked since the first year in the army. They called me a field smoker, someone who only did it when there was nothing better to do. It's true, I suppose. It wasn't actually a cigarette, it was a small cigar. I stuck it in my mouth, and Zaeed grunted. There was a loud click, and he pressed the dull flame of an old lighter to the end of the smoke.
"Smoke it if you got it, son," he grunted at me. I caught a flash of silver before he tucked the lighter away.
"Thanks," I said, struggling not to cough. It didn't taste like dirty and ash, like a normal cigarette does. It tasted like...well, like good scotch. Peaty. Smokey. Oakey, sweet. I nodded, blew smoke out.
"I know you know what you're doing," he started carefully, lighting his own as he stood there. "EDI, stop us, wouldja kindly?" he called out. I felt the elevator stop, and I shifted on my feet.
"No one else does, " he said, turning to me. He took a long draw. "There's gonna be bodies before this is done. Lots of 'em. Collector's are going to take the worst of it...but get your shit straight, son. You're all fucked up like a beef flavored milkshake. Get your head on straight. Get your kit straight for an hour or something. Give everyone a sitrep," he said, gesturing at me.
"You can do this."
My cabin was untouched. I guess no one bothered to check, so it was just about the only place on the ship that didn't look like a tornado had hit it. I started undoing my armor, placing it in the locker, looking it over. It'd be a couple of hours at least before the fight to get my kit in order. Zaeed had stayed on the elevator, taking it back down below. I heard the intercom chime.
"Commander?"
"What's the word, Joker?"
"We're an hour out from the relay. Just thought you should know."
And that's when it started to sound like sixteen cougars were trying to batter their way into my quarters.