Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
IMPORTANT: I would like to thank NARUTOANGEL for the fanart that she drew recently. They are two of the best Divinity pics I've seen so far! Please take time to check them out (links on my profile) and comment them for her, because they are awesome!
To WINTERKAGUYA: In gratitude for your incredible review, I dedicate this chapter to you :)
Divinity
Chapter XX
Confession
"The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you."
- Anonymous
"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
- Barbara De Angelis
Hinata only managed to get in a few hours of sleep before finding herself wide awake at dawn. It had been a restless night for her. She couldn't wait for the day to pass into night again so she could see Itachi.
She still couldn't believe that he was back—finally back. But when her hand fell to rest on her chest, noticing that her necklace was no longer there, remembering that Itachi had taken it…she smiled in giddy happiness.
He was definitely back, and it thrilled her to no end.
She was so excited that all she could manage to do was lean against her balcony railing, and instead of gazing at the sunrise, she stared out at the forest just beyond the Konoha walls. With her elbows resting on the railing and her face cupped in her palms, Hinata continued to stare dazedly at the area where she assumed the meadow resided.
She wondered if that was where Itachi slept, or maybe he slept somewhere else. She never thought to ask before, but she knew that she would have to now…now that he was back for good.
Her smile widened.
A tentative knock sounded at her door.
Immensely surprised at the sound, and even more so at the possibility that someone other than herself was awake at sunrise, she nearly skipped over to her bedroom door and opened it in one movement.
Teal eyes gazed back at her in shock. "Wow…" Temari murmured. "I didn't expect you to be awake already. I just knocked for the sake of being polite; I had every intention to barge in here and wake you up whether you wanted it or not."
"Why? Is there something wrong?" Hinata asked with concern.
Temari smirked. "Of course not. After having a stressful day yesterday, I couldn't sleep too well, so I decided to just get up out of bed and go bathe in the nice, hot water." Her brow rose. "Care to join me?"
Hinata smiled again, her eyes practically sparkling with joy. "Yes, that sounds great! I'll just get my clothes…"
Temari watched from the doorway as Hinata energetically ran about her bedroom, gathering her clothes, towel, and other bathing supplies. It was weird seeing Hinata so…animated and elated, and all before the sun had fully risen above the horizon.
"I'm ready," Hinata smiled widely again, walking with Temari down the hallway with an obvious bounce in her step.
Temari glanced at her out of the corner of her eye in curiosity. "What are you so happy about?"
Hinata tilted her head in confusion. "I don't think I'm anymore happier than usual…"
Temari rolled her eyes before chuckling. "If I didn't know you any better, I'd wonder if you just had sex or something."
Hinata blushed heavily. "Temari!"
The older deity laughed more heartily. "Oh, come on! You know I'm kidding. Although, seriously, what's got you in such a good mood?"
Hinata lowered her smiling gaze, seeing in her mind's eye the face of her demon friend. In answer to Temari, though, all she did was shrug.
The blonde's brows furrowed before her expression turned quickly into that of a knowing smirk. "It wouldn't have anything to do with Neji, now would it?"
Hinata's eyes snapped over to her friend's in shock before she waved her hands in front of her, nearly in panic. "No, no, no, of course not…" She suddenly remembered the moment when his lips were beginning to touch hers—She blushed. "Although…No, no, no, not Neji!" She shook her head vigorously, praying for the blush to recede already. "I just had a good rest and a good dream last night, that's all!"
The two women had finally reached the doors to the bathing area, but Temari stopped and blocked the entrance, facing Hinata with her hands on her hips and expression showing her tightened lips and raised eyebrow. "You don't honestly expect me, your best friend, to believe that pathetic lie, do you? I've known you too long, and I've told you too many times, Hinata, that lying is not exactly one of your strengths. So…come out with it."
Hinata bit her lip before forming a pout, her eyes wide and shiny as she gazed at her best friend. "But Temari…" She even began to poke her forefingers together. "Could we at least get in the water before I have to say anything…? Please?"
Temari spent a whole two seconds looking at that face before she sighed and glanced around at the hallways, which was when she realized that anyone could walk by and invade their private conversation. With another heavy sigh, she nodded. "Alright, alright, let's go…"
The hot water with its steaming tendrils had never felt so good. As both women lowered themselves into the water, a collective moan of satisfaction was all that could be heard. They each ran the water over their arms, backs, and necks, feeling relaxed and at peace already.
"Mmm, this is exactly what I needed." Temari murmured, reclining back into the water.
"Mhm," Hinata agreed with a small smile, keeping her eyes closed so as to enjoy the hot bath better.
There was only a short moment of silence before Temari looked over at Hinata expectantly. "So…Neji is why you're in such a good mood, right?"
There was no smile present on Hinata's lips anymore, and her once happy mood had turned into something more grave. "No…Although, after what he did, I should be happy…"
"After what he did?" Temari repeated, obviously confused. "What did he do?"
Hinata blushed, lowering herself even more into the water. "He tried to kiss me, and almost would have if Lady Tsunade didn't appear."
Temari's eyes widened. "Seriously? This happened last night after the meeting? He almost kissed you?"
In answer to all of her friend's questions, Hinata nodded meekly.
"Was that the first time he tried to kiss you?"
Slowly, Hinata nodded again.
Temari's eyes widened even more in surprise. "I can't believe it! Are you serious? He's never tried to kiss you before? Here I was thinking that you two have kissed at least a couple times, but not even once?"
Hinata shook her head, keeping her gaze on the water.
Temari analyzed her friend, trying to gauge what her reaction might have been. "Hinata…Did you want Neji to kiss you?"
The dark-haired girl couldn't think of how to answer that. For awhile, all she could manage to do was open and close her mouth in debate. Finally, she shook her head while offering an uncertain smile to her older friend. "I don't know…I don't think so, but…I don't think I would've minded…" She paused thoughtfully. "But…I don't think of Neji like that. He's always been such a good friend to me, and I love him."
Temari began to change from the excited friend to the solemnly wise one, hoping to be able to give her dear friend some advice. "You love him…I see that. Are you in love with him?"
Hinata looked confused.
"There's a difference you know." Temari continued. "You can love someone without being in love with them. Being in love is…well, simply stated, the romantic part of it. If you're in love with Neji, then you would want him to kiss you…among other things."
"And if I don't?"
"Then you're probably not in love with him." Temari felt inwardly sorry for Neji. Maybe it was hopeful wishing, but Temari had always assumed that Hinata would end up with Neji. To hear that Hinata didn't return those feelings…Poor Neji. "Hinata, you probably know by now what Neji's feelings for you are…right?"
Hinata nodded, even though she was still trying to tell herself that there was no way Neji could think of her like that. "What do I do?"
"What do you want to do?" Temari reciprocated. "I mean, if you don't want Neji, then you could always hook up with Gaara. At least then I could call you my sister." Temari was smiling in humor, seeing Hinata nearly giggle. When the blonde saw that Hinata was starting to return to her depressed mood, she spoke again. "Look, Hina, it's not your fault. Despite what you may believe, none of us have any choice as to who we fall in love with. It just happens. Do you honestly think based on my personality that of all the guys I could choose from, I would choose a lazy-ass like Shikamaru, or that he would choose someone like me?"
Hinata looked at her friend in shock.
Temari smiled. "Falling in love is one of those things that just kind of knocks you over when you're not paying attention, and by the time you get back up, everything's different. Suddenly, it's like your entire life revolves around this other person. Suddenly, you care more about their happiness than your own, and when they're not around you, you feel…empty, I guess."
"Incomplete." Hinata added, understanding what her friend was telling her. She also felt sympathetic towards Temari, as well as privileged that she had trusted their friendship enough to divulge such a secret. After all, anytime someone brought up the possible romance between Temari and Shikamaru, both furiously denied it. To see Temari admit to it was kind of an eye-opening experience. Did being in love do that to a person?
"So…yeah," Temari laughed uncomfortably. "Back to my previous question, what is it that you want to do?"
"With Neji?"
Temari nodded.
Hinata bit her lip in contemplation before answering with hesitation. "I don't think I'm in love with him, but I want him to be happy. Maybe…if being with him like he wants me to be will make him happy, then…I could do that."
"If you're saying that you would put yourself into that kind of a relationship even though you don't return his feelings, then…No."
"No?"
Temari glared. "No. Absolutely not. There's no way in hell that I'm going to allow you to do that. Let me put it this way…if you love Neji as much I think you do, would you really do that to him and to yourself? Don't be an idiot."
"Wait," Hinata felt so confused. "What do you mean? I don't understand. If it'll make Neji happy…"
Temari nearly scoffed. "Neji would probably be happy if he knew that you were in love with him, not putting aside your own happiness to be with some guy that you only care about as a friend. Do you see how screwed up that is?"
"I…" At a loss for words, Hinata averted her gaze, wringing her fingers in her lap.
Temari was so tempted to just throw her hands up into the air in aggravation. She closed her eyes instead, and counted to ten before exhaling deeply. "You know…You do seem like you're still not sure about what you feel. Maybe the best thing you can do is take some time to yourself and figure that out. I'm sure Neji will wait." He's waited for a long time, so I'm sure he can wait a little longer.
Hinata nodded in agreement.
Neji was in turmoil.
So much so that he had hardly slept well at all the previous night. When he awoke early that morning, the first thing on his mind was the very same last thing he thought about before going to sleep.
The almost kiss.
What had he been thinking? He lost control of his senses for one moment; he just wanted to touch her lips—just once…and now…it could be all over.
He had always thought that the relationship between him and Hinata was a strong and durable one, able to withstand all forces without crumbling.
His assumption was apparently wrong, because all it would take to ruin their stable relationship was one slip-up from him. One measly second of losing his senses and rationale was all it took to ruin what they had been building up for years.
He swore to himself to not tell her his feelings until the right moment, until she was ready to receive it. But because he was too weak to stop his urges, Hinata had probably realized what his true feelings were.
Neji remembered seeing the absolute shock on her face when he was leaning toward her, obviously aiming for a collision of their lips. She looked completely dumbfounded as if he had just told her that he was in love with her.
Of course, what would be the use of confessing that to her now? If she ever had doubts about his feelings before, they were pretty much confirmed at the moment when he felt the barest touch of her mouth against his. There was no way that she wouldn't know now just how enamored he was. No possible way.
I've officially just screwed myself over.
What was he going to do? What could he do? He had to do something, say something, anything just to calm the situation and gauge what her reaction might be. A part of him wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear for awhile, but that part was quickly crushed at the knowledge that he wasn't a coward, that he would face any situation he was presented with.
On that note, he figured that he had two options. One, he could carry on and act like it had never happened, and slowly lull Hinata back into their previous state of comfort and normalcy. Or…he could confront her and confess and find a way to deal with her reaction and response, whatever it would be.
In deciding what he would do, he had to remind himself what his goals were, what he wanted in the end of it all.
With a deep sigh, Neji sat on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, and hands cradling his head.
It was now or never.
It had been quiet between the two friends up until they were beginning to exit the bathing rooms. At that point, Temari stopped Hinata with a hand on her arm. "Hey,"
Hinata turned to face her.
Temari tried to smile comfortingly. "I know this is hard for you, and I'm sorry that I probably didn't help much, but…" She glanced away briefly as if in debate about something. Her brows furrowed before looking back at Hinata. "I've seen relationships based on one-sided love, and they never work out in the end. If you choose to enter into a relationship with Neji, then over time, he will come to resent you because you could never return his feelings. And perhaps over time, you might come to resent him too. Or actually, knowing you, you'd probably end up hating yourself for not being able to give Neji the one thing he's ever asked of you."
Hinata listened, beginning to understand what Temari had been saying earlier.
Temari unnoticeably gulped before continuing. "You see, my parents' relationship was like that. It was an arranged marriage, of course, since my father was the village leader, but my mother didn't mind, because she ended up falling in love with him. How she could possibly love that bastard, I have no idea."
She paused as if dwelling on past memories. "Anyway, my father never thought of my mother like that; in fact, he couldn't care less about her, and because of that, my mother started to resent him. And because she resented him, he started to resent her until they both pretty much hated each other. When she got raped by that demon, it gave my father an excuse to get rid of her…and she died with a lot of bitter feelings, since she didn't exactly have a great life."
"Temari…" Hinata could easily see how terrible it must have been for her friend to see all of that when she was young, to see the loveless relationship of her parents everyday. "I'm so sorry."
The older deity merely shook her head. "All I'm saying is that I don't want that to happen to you. As much as Neji pisses me off, I don't want that to happen to him either. Anyone here can tell you that you and Neji have a deep and strong friendship, so if we were to see that friendship fall apart…" she gave a quick, humorless laugh. "What hope would the rest of us have?"
Hinata found herself biting on her lip in habit once again as she mulled over everything her older friend had said. Finally, with a smile, Hinata spoke. "It's like you said earlier, I'm not sure of my feelings yet. I've never thought about it, so I don't know if the love I feel for Neji is just friendship or something more." She licked her lips in thought before continuing. "So…I'm going to think about it, and I promise that I won't jump into anything without knowing exactly what my feelings are."
Temari smiled in satisfaction before slinging an arm over her smaller friend's shoulders. "Now, that's the Hinata I know and love." She chuckled. "It's so nice to have someone around who isn't so damn hard-headed."
Hinata giggled, both of their hearts feeling lighter as they officially exited the baths.
"Temari,"
Said woman jumped in surprise before spinning around to see her little brother leaning against the wall behind them. "Damn it, Gaara! I thought we talked about this already. Stop sneaking up on me, and alert me before you just…show up!"
Though confusion tainted his tone, his expression (of course) gave nothing away. "I did alert you. I said your name."
Temari sighed, inwardly telling herself that it would be of no use to argue about it anymore. "Okay…So…I'm a little surprised to see you up so early."
"It's not early. We are to be in the dining hall in less than twenty minutes. You were in there for awhile."
"Wow, I guess so." She murmured before exchanging a quizzical glance with Hinata. "Time sure went by fast, huh?"
"It did." Hinata agreed. "I wasn't aware that we were in there for so long."
Temari laughed. "Oh well. It was worth it. Anyway, Gaara, we have to drop our clothes off in our rooms before we head over to breakfast."
Gaara said nothing in reply and only began to lead the way.
They didn't get very far before Temari espied Shikamaru coming around the corner, completely by himself with his hands in his pockets and back slightly hunched. She smiled and turned back to her brother and friend. "I'll just see you guys there, okay?"
Before Gaara or Hinata could say anything in reply, Temari had sped off toward the notoriously lazy young man, calling out his name in the process.
Hinata watched with a content smile on her face as she saw how the two acted around each other, and the way that the emotion in their eyes changed drastically, as if they had just been given a great treasure. Is that what being in love looks like?
"Are you coming?" Gaara interrupted her short reverie.
Hinata turned to him and smiled with a nod before walking beside him towards her bedroom.
As they walked side-by-side, nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, Gaara couldn't help but take notice of something very important.
He didn't feel that push anymore, nor the burning or draining sensations that he usually felt when around Hinata. To be near her felt normal. There was no more of that fierce protective vibe that her necklace usually sent out to act as a barrier around her. There was no more threatening energy, silently warning him to stay away. Nothing.
During the duration of their walk, he couldn't help but recurrently glance at her in wonder and bewilderment.
What had changed?
As the redhead incessantly pondered about it, he didn't say anything until Hinata entered her bedroom to put away her dirty clothes.
He followed her in, closing the door behind him with his hands crossed over his chest and aquamarine eyes intensely focused on her form. Or more specifically, he focused on her neck, watching for the necklace at every twist and turn of her body. When he didn't see it, he knew that something wasn't right.
After putting away her clothes, Hinata stood upright and stared at Gaara with a smile. "Okay, I'm ready to—"
"You're not wearing it."
Hinata stopped, eyes narrowing in confusion. "What?"
"That pendant. You're not wearing it."
Without thought, her hand flew up to her chest to clench onto what wasn't there. "No…Um, no, I'm not wearing it. I, uh…I don't have it anymore."
It was Gaara's turn for his eyes to narrow in confusion. "Why?" It was when she smiled in utter happiness that he knew the reason. He knew that the only way she would not wear it was if it's rightful owner had come to retrieve it. If that was the case, then… "He came back."
Her smile grew in inward excitement before she nodded happily. "Last night. He's staying this time…for awhile, he said." She laughed under her breath. "He came back for me."
"So now what?" He questioned quickly, seemingly very cautious about this demon's return. After all, he felt a protective need to watch over Hinata, and she was making it hard to do that when she was consorting with a demon.
Smile and laughter gone, Hinata tilted her head questionably. "What do you mean?"
Gaara clarified. "Now that he's back, what will you do?"
She was not sure how to answer that. "Um, I…" She paused, considering it. Then, she smiled and shrugged. "I guess…I plan to spend time with him…get to know him again."
"And you do this at night, when everyone's asleep."
"Yes…Why do you ask?"
Gaara's eyes narrowed skeptically. "It seems risky. You're once again going to lead a double life, and at some point, you will get caught. When that happens, what will you do?"
Hinata looked away from him, choosing to stare blankly at her bed rather than her perceptive friend. "I'd rather not think about it."
"You will have to consider it sometime, preferably sooner rather than later." Gaara stated, trying to make her understand the gravity of the situation. "I doubt that the other temple residents will be as understanding about your demon friend like I was. If the village were to find out, you would be labeled a traitor…and be punished for it."
Hinata felt agitation well up inside her. "So what are you saying I should do, Gaara? Tell him to leave me alone?"
"Yes," He answered sternly. "Cut off all communication between you, and sever whatever tie it is that you have with him."
Hinata was shaking her head before she answered. "I can't do that. I've waited ten years for him to come back. I've waited ten years to see him again, and be near him. I can't just…"
"Sooner or later, you will have to, Hinata. For your own safety."
Despite that Hinata understood what Gaara was telling her, it didn't detract from her feeling irritation that she had to be told what to do in concerns with a relationship that only involved her and Itachi. Instead of speaking, she stayed silent and seemed to brood to herself, inwardly wishing that she could just think about the problem another time. The good mood she was in was rapidly disappearing as the hours ticked by—first because of the Neji situation, and now because of Gaara's warning. So much for having a good day.
Gaara gazed at her for awhile, sensing her adverse reaction to his warning. As much as he disliked making her angry or sad, he knew that it had to be said, because while she was not worried about it, he was…very much so.
A distant sound reached his ears, making his head turn slightly in the direction of the sound before he spoke to Hinata again. "I'll see you in the dining room." With that, he turned and left her room quietly and quickly.
After he left, Hinata stood in contemplative silence for what felt like a long time. Finally, she forced herself to think about something more pleasant, and in doing so, her hand fell to her chest again, noticing the absence of the pendant. Feeling empty without it, she glanced around her room until she spotted another necklace that had created a home atop her bedpost.
Knowing it to be the one that Neji had given to her for her birthday ten years ago, she approached closer and caged it in her hand, letting the beautiful chain rest on her palm. With a slow smile, she unlocked the clasp and placed it around her neck, inhaling sharply when the cold metal fell against her skin.
Her fingers ran over it, feeling its texture and noticing that she didn't like the feel of it against her skin. It didn't feel right. It wasn't right having something else besides the blood diamond against her chest—it felt alien to have it there.
Unbeknownst to her, Neji stood at the doorway to her bedroom, watching silently as her fingers ran over the chain of the necklace that he had given to her many years ago. To see her wearing it after all these years made his heart skip a beat in excitement and his lips to curl into a pleased smile.
He gulped and licked his lips, and ended up still smiling as he looked upon the young woman who had captured his heart and woven her way into his very soul. "So, I see you've gotten over your fears of breaking it."
With a startled gasp, she turned to face him in surprise. "Neji…Um, I," Her fingers moved around the chain, searching for the clasp.
Reaching her in a matter of a couple strides, his hand fell over hers. "Don't. Keep it on…" His eyes found hers, and he tried to show her through his gaze how pleased he was to see her wearing it. "It looks beautiful on you."
"Thank you…" She whispered, feeling uncertain about his presence and what he would do.
The hand that rested over hers began to grip her hand gently before pulling it away from her chest. Pulling her hand closer to him, he watched as his fingers began caressing the lines of her palm. "I wanted to talk to you…about what happened last night."
Even though he wasn't looking at her, she was staring at him with a tinge of fear in her eyes. "Okay…"
He stopped playing with her hand and instead held it against his chest, wanting to feel her touch. Only then did he gaze at her again, showing a softening in his eyes in a way that she had only seen on rare occasions. For that moment, he had let his guard down. "You know that I love you, right?"
"Of course, Neji. I love you, too." She quietly replied.
"No…I mean…" he sighed, licking his lips again before beginning. "I know that you love me the way that…you think I love you, and I do, but…it's not that simple. It hasn't been for awhile."
Even more fear and uncertainty began to fill Hinata's heart as she dreaded what was going to happen, what he was going to say. "W-What do you mean?"
"Hinata…" He inched closer to her in earnest. "I don't want to be just a friend to you, or just a guardian, or hell, even a brother figure. I don't want that with you. I want something more from you, and I'm tired of waiting for the opportune moment to tell you this. I don't know if you're ready or not, or…I don't know. I just don't want to keep waiting to tell you, and then because I do that, you end up thinking that our relationship could only ever be friendship. I've always wanted our relationship to be open enough so that whether we wanted to be friends or something more, we could do it. Not easily, I know, but…"
At his pause, Hinata had to take a deep breath and try to calm all the thoughts that were running rampant through her mind. What was Neji saying? Was he saying the very thing that she dreaded hearing from him all these years? "So…What is it that you want to tell me?" She hated herself for asking that, inwardly wishing that neither of them would have to have this conversation. She didn't think she could deal with the repercussions.
He didn't answer for what seemed like forever; all he did was stare into her eyes with an intense determination. "I want…something more than friendship with you. What I want with you is what Lee has with Sakura, and Naruto with Ino, and Kankuro with Tenten. I want that type of relationship—not just friendship. I want to be able to call you mine…and only mine…if you'll let me."
She had no idea why, but for some strange reason, she wanted to cry…in sorrow, not happiness. "Neji…" her voice cracked when she murmured his name.
He moved his hands to cup her face, drawing his own face within an inch of hers, not stopping until their foreheads touched. "I could make you happy, Hinata. Every day, I could make you happy, if you'll have me. I would never deny you anything, and I would never stop loving you. All I'm asking is that you let me have you, too."
Her lip was quivering, but she refused to release any tears, even though her heart was aching painfully. She had to say something, but she couldn't think of one thing to say to him. She could agree with him and offer him every part of herself, because she knew that it would make him happy, and it would make her happy as well to know that there was someone who loved her so much. She wanted that for Neji, and she wanted that for herself, but she couldn't force the words on her mouth. She couldn't bring herself to do that, and at first, she didn't know why.
That is, until she remembered every word that Temari had said to her that morning.
"Would you really do that to him and to yourself?"
"Neji would probably be happy if he knew that you were in love with him, not putting aside your own happiness to be with some guy that you only care about as a friend."
"If you choose to enter into a relationship with Neji, then over time, he will come to resent you because you could never return his feelings."
"You do seem like you're still not sure about what you feel."
"Maybe the best thing you can do is take some time to yourself and figure that out."
"Neji will wait."
Will he? Will he wait for me? Hinata couldn't help but wonder. She knew that she loved him, but she wasn't certain if she was in love with him. So, what kind of an answer could she possibly give him when she herself had no idea? She supposed that she would just have to give him an honest answer, the only one she had.
Seeing that he was waiting for her to say something, she inhaled deeply, preparing herself mentally and emotionally for the next moment. "Neji," She met his eyes, feeling inwardly determined, while showing her obvious love for him in her eyes. "I do love you, and I always have. I…I guess that over the years, I got so used to the relationship we had, and I was so used to being comfortable and content with the way things were or are. All I've ever known with you is that you are one of my best friends and beloved guardian. I've always and only ever known you as this."
His eyes narrowed, obviously sensing her rejection.
She slightly panicked at seeing that he was beginning to close himself up behind his emotional walls of defense. She spoke quickly and assuredly, cupping his face in her hands and using her thumbs to caress his cheeks. "It's not that I can't ever return your feelings, it's just…It's just that I don't know how to be anything more than a friend to you. I know that I love you, but I've never thought about being in love with you, so I don't know what my feelings for you are." She stopped, thinking over what she just said, and scolding herself for making it sound so confusing.
"You…" He cleared his throat, noticing how emotionally hoarse it had become. "You've never thought about us being anything more…than we are?"
She slowly shook her head. "No…"
He looked down, beginning to inch away from her.
She stopped his movements by tightening her hand's grip on his face. "I don't know what my feelings are for you. I don't know because I've never considered it. If…If you give me time to consider it and try to figure out my feelings, then I can give you a proper answer."
A small ounce of hope swelled inside of him. "Give you time?"
Hesitantly, she nodded, watching cautiously for his reaction.
He sighed before closing his eyes, not one emotion being betrayed on his face. "I've waited for this moment for years…I've waited for you for years…"
It was Hinata's turn to lower her gaze, except in shame and guilt.
"I suppose that I can wait a little longer."
Her eyes snapped up to meet his in shock, taking notice of his soft smile. In turn, she smiled. "Thank you,"
Neji appeared serious all of a sudden. "Just don't make me wait too long."
She was still smiling. "I'll try not to."
He chuckled before standing more upright in order to deliver a longing kiss to her forehead. Both their eyes closed at the contact, one feeling sad from the touch and the other relishing it. Neji pulled away, grasping one of her hands in his. "Shall we go eat?"
Seeing the humor in his smirk, she nodded happily before allowing him to lead her towards the dining room.
Despite that the situation hadn't truly been resolved, Hinata still felt relieved that it had at least been diverted for another time. Hopefully, when that time came, she would have the right answer for Neji, one that she would be satisfied with, and one that would hopefully set his heart at ease.
Such wishful thinking.
The day had only begun, and all Itachi had managed to do was find himself something to eat and then bathe at a nearby waterfall. The rest of the time was spent in his cave that had become a second home to him. A thin mattress was rolled out on the floor of the cave with his cloak acting as a type of sheet separating him from the cloth of the mattress.
In the very center of the cave was a fire pit, and Itachi's various other belongings were sparsely lining the rock walls. It had certainly become a type of home for him. A very dark and quiet one.
As he laid on his bed, one leg stretched out and the other pulled up with his arms crossed behind his head, he stared blankly at the black ceiling of the cave, which was only black because it was hidden in shadows. His newly regained pendant was resting on his chest in the same position it had been in for the long years before he met Hinata. It should have felt comforting to feel it against his skin again, but for some reason, it wasn't. It felt unfamiliar, like it didn't belong around his neck. Like it belonged around another's. Around Hinata's.
It had been ten years since he had his thoughts to himself without always being able to sense another's emotions flitting through his mind every once in awhile. It should've satisfied him to feel that, but it didn't. It felt too quiet, too silent, too…empty.
He disliked that his day had so far consisted of him constantly feeling as if he had forgotten something or that something was missing.
Something was missing.
Hinata's emotions and the connection that he had with her through his necklace. All of that was missing, and he didn't like it. It had suddenly become foreign to have her so absent from his mind. He thought about her, of course, but it wasn't the same, and that bothered him.
He hadn't become attached to constantly knowing how she felt, had he?
And he couldn't deny how restless he felt at not knowing if she was safe or not, or whether or not she was in trouble. Even though she was supposed to be safe within the village walls, it didn't mean that she was safe or out of harm's way. And he sure as hell couldn't rely on her protectors anymore, since they had proved useless at the one time she really needed them. Just thinking about it made him angry and irritated.
How was it that he had become more than calm lately? He was always the collected one, the emotionless one. How could such an insignificant deity change all that? Even after ten years of distance, she was still able to alter his mood in seconds. Possibly even more so now than ever before.
After all, she was a fully mature female now…and that tended to change a lot of things.
For once, Itachi didn't know what to make of it.
He supposed that he would just have to spend more time with her in order to sort out this new "problem".
And he knew that his pendant would have to return to her possession once again.
It just wasn't right when it wasn't in her possession.
Not having that connection wasn't right.
He hated knowing that.
Tsunade's day began with seeing Kakashi and Asuma off on their mission, along with many other army members leaving on scouting missions. She couldn't imagine what it must be like for Lord Sarutobi to send his own son into dangerous territory. She couldn't imagine how he could handle the knowledge that there was a chance that his son wouldn't come back alive. How would any parent be able to handle that, let alone be the one to send them off?
The matriarch, however, assured herself that Asuma was an excellent warrior, and he had great experience at hunting demons since he used to be a demon-hunter in the years past. Also, Asuma was partnered with Kakashi, whose demon-hunting skills were infamous. The two of them could be quite a threat against the demon race. Therefore, she had no reason to worry…right?
After their departure, Tsunade shared breakfast with the others before truly beginning her day, and it was doomed to be busy and frustrating.
As soon as breakfast had ended, training began. There was no time for a learning session with Kurenai anymore, nor barely enough time for the deities to have their music sessions. They would train until lunch and then head over to the pavilion to work until dinner.
Yes, it would be quite a full and exhausting day.
Since Jiraiya was busy with the village leader, it was solely Tsunade's job to ensure that everything was progressing as it should. Her first stop was the security force.
She stayed for a short time, watching Gai lecture about the basics of fighting a demon. Once the lecture was completed, he began on instructing them about strategies.
At that time, the matriarch moved onto the next group, which was the guardians. Anko seemed to be following in Gai's footsteps by lecturing the boys in a military style about what it was like to fight a demon and what to avoid. The guardians listened with rapt attention, of course, mentally taking note of every detail.
Even though the young men had never trained under Anko, one wouldn't be able to tell by the way they were showing their quiet respect.
Satisfied, Tsunade walked on and didn't stop until she approached the deities all sitting on the grass with Kurenai standing at the forefront. Apparently, the red-eyed woman was going over the importance of mastering their powers and perfecting their gifts. That was when the matriarch decided to intrude.
"Lady Tsunade," Kurenai nodded in respect.
The large-busted woman smirked. "Sorry to interrupt, Kurenai." After the dark-haired woman nodded, Tsunade turned to the deities with stern leadership shining in her wake. Almost as if in response, each one of the young ladies stood, their eyes showing nothing but fierce determination and readiness for their new training. Tsunade couldn't help herself from smiling in approval. "Are you girls ready to begin?"
With a collective nod, they each spoke out their agreement.
With an approving smile still on her face, Tsunade began speaking again. "After the meeting last night, I spent many hours researching the deities before you and their participation in the wars. Or, more specifically, how they fought in those wars. Through that research, I was able to determine how best to teach you girls how to battle demons.
"What Kurenai was telling you just now is just what you need to know, but there's more to it. It is vitally important that you master your abilities, but now you need to learn how to transform your abilities into attacks. That is how you will be fighting. You were given these gifts for a reason, and now you must learn how to use them to your benefit during this upcoming war. You will be training for hours on end, and you will not stop until you are ready for this war, because those demons will be searching for every possible weakness you might have.
"We will begin working on honing your powers into weapons before delving into defensive and offensive strategies. This will not be easy."
"Wait, Lady Tsunade," Ino interrupted. "I can understand how turning powers into weapons will be doable for those three," she motioned toward Tenten, Temari and Sakura. "But what about me and Hinata? Our abilities aren't exactly made to be turned into attacks. So, how's that going to work?"
Ino certainly doesn't miss a beat. Tsunade thought to herself wryly before answering. "Don't worry, Ino, I'll get to that. You and Hinata are definitely unique cases, but I'm going to need to go over the basics first, understand?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Now anyways, Kurenai is going to help you all through this, but I'll be your main instructor today in order to ensure that everything goes smoothly." She paused, scanning her eyes over the girls quickly. "Ino and Hinata, stay here. The rest of you girls come with me and Kurenai." With that, Tsunade led the group of four towards a further area.
When the deities arrived at a familiar part of the courtyard, they were shocked to find many different logs positioned in the ground, each one acting as some type of post. Nearly synchronized, all three deities turned to their matriarch in puzzlement.
Instead of answering their silent questions, Tsunade turned to Kurenai. "I'll need you to follow me and pay attention to what I tell each of the girls. That way, you'll know how to train them further in case I'm busy."
"Understood, Lady Tsunade."
The said woman nodded before turning her attention back to the three young women. "Tenten, let's begin with you. Come this way." She spoke sternly, hearing the deity follow her from behind. They approached a set of three posts set a few feet from the other.
Tenten was still confused. "Lady Tsunade?"
"This is where you will be training. What you need to focus on is imagining those fighting posts as your future demon opponents. Now, you already know how to make weapons, so what you need to learn how to do is how to use them to your advantage. Anyone can throw a dagger or swing a sword, but all of that changes when it comes to demons."
"So, what am I supposed to do exactly?" Tenten murmured.
"First, you need to start creating weapons that will cause serious damage to a demon. Secondly, you need to come up with a fighting style so that you and your weapons act as one unit. Lastly, you're going to practice your techniques until nothing remains of those logs. Got it?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Go ahead and get prepared. I'll send Kurenai to help in a moment."
"Yes, ma'am."
Afterward, Tsunade led Temari to another area a good distance away from Tenten. Once there, Tsunade motioned to the training posts before explaining to the oldest deity about how they were to act as her demon opponents. "You have already formed your ability into a weapon—I've seen you blow a few people away. However, that's not going to do anything to a demon. What I want you to focus on doing is forming your wind into…I suppose we'll just call it 'blades'. Instead of trying to knock the demons over, your weapons will need to slice through them."
Temari rose a brow in skepticism. "And how am I possibly going to pull that off?"
"Simply speaking," Tsunade smirked. "Just imagine the blade of a sword in your mind, and try to turn your wind into that…and then send it to your opponent-no pretty bows attached."
Temari chuckled. "Despite how simple it sounds, I have a feeling it's going to be very complicated."
"Probably." The matriarch shrugged. "But, you're the only one who could pull it off. We'll go over it more in detail later. As for now, try thinking about how you could go about turning your wind into a bunch of blades."
"Right…No problem."
Sakura was next, and due to her ability, she had to be taken to the farthest part of the temple property, which looked undeveloped since it was mostly dirt.
"Okay, Sakura, yours should be pretty easy compared to the others." Tsunade started.
Sakura smirked, wrapping her hand around one bicep. "Want me to smash the ground up?"
"Not in the way you're thinking, although destroying this area is inevitable for you." The matriarch answered. "What I want you to work on is controlling that strength to the point where it will become second nature as to how much power you put into your punches. Once you have that mastered, then you and the other girls are going to learn combat skills, which you will then be able to combine with that strength of yours."
"Oh, I get it."
"Yes, and at that point, you'll be an opponent that hopefully the demons won't want to mess with."
Sakura smiled, feeling joy at that statement.
"So, why don't you get to work on that, and I'll go see to the other two girls. Try punching the ground first to form a basic crater. After that, use control to make another crater that will be smaller, and so on."
"Yes, ma'am!"
Finally, once Tsunade finished with the three deities, she moved onto the other two, who had remained in the same place and seemed to be fidgeting almost nervously.
"Alright, you two," Tsunade began, arms crossed under her breasts. "You two are definitely going to be doing something very different than the others. Ino, despite what you may believe, your ability is an attack. Perhaps not a physical one, but definitely a mental one."
The blonde seemed to pout her lips in thought. "I suppose…"
"Therefore, that's what you're going to be working on for the most part. You, like the others, will eventually learn how to physically fight, but as for now, I want you to have complete mastery over your gift."
"Right,"
"So, for today, I want you to work on trying to get through Kurenai's mental barrier. All of us have one ever since you came around, and we've all worked on making it stronger just as you have gotten stronger. The demons are experts at blocking off their minds to others. If you can penetrate those barriers, then you will have an extreme advantage over them, understand?"
"Yes, I understand." Ino nodded seriously.
"Good. Find a quiet place for yourself and then concentrate on penetrating Kurenai's mental barrier. That is, if Kurenai doesn't mind…" At that, she turned to face the red-eyed woman.
Kurenai smiled. "Of course not. It's not a problem."
"Then we're all set for today. Ino, go find a secluded area for yourself so you can focus."
"Yes, ma'am." Ino muttered and jogged off into the thin forestry that existed within the temple's backyard.
When the blonde had disappeared from her sight, Tsunade faced the remaining deity, who looked between confusion and readiness. Knowing that Hinata was going to have to go through something very different than the others, Tsunade tried to offer a comforting smile. "Alright, Hinata, it's down to you."
Hinata had to repress the urge to nibble on her lip, unknowing of what to say.
"Because your ability is healing, which means that it's purely supportive, there's not a way for you to turn that power into any type of attack. The healing deities have never been meant to damage, have never been meant for fighting of any kind. I suppose that your generation will be the first to disobey that tradition. Are you okay with that?"
"Yes, Lady Tsunade." Hinata answered without hesitation. "I want to be able to fight alongside everyone."
Tsunade nodded without a smile. "That's very good of you, Hinata, but I feel that you need to understand that it might not work out like that. You need to understand that because you are our only healer, everyone will be protecting you first and foremost. When it comes to war, the healer is always first priority, which could easily mean that you will not be fighting at all."
Not knowing how to respond to that, Hinata simply looked away, brows furrowed in disappointment. It wasn't that she wanted to fight; it was just that she didn't want to be left behind or treated like a weak little princess as Temari put it. She at least wanted to feel like she was on equal ground with everyone else, pulling her own weight just like they would be.
"However," Tsunade interrupted her inner thoughts. "It's just as Gaara said. Wars are unpredictable, and because of that, none of us can guarantee that you will always have someone around to protect you. It is for that reason, Hinata, that we're going to teach you girls how to fight. As for you specifically, the physical part of fighting is all we can teach you."
Hinata's features became stern. "I understand, Lady Tsunade. I'll learn whatever you will teach me."
The older woman smirked. "That's what I like to hear." She clapped her hands together. "So, I'm going to leave Kurenai here to start teaching you the basic fighting moves. Pay attention very closely, because Kurenai knows what she's talking about. She's fought against plenty of demons and survived, and she'll help you learn how to do that same thing."
Kurenai glanced at the matriarch. "You would like me to stay with Hinata during today's training session?"
"Yes, but just for today. I'll manage the other girls, so just train Hinata and keep in mind about Ino's progress."
"Understood."
Tsunade nodded before turning to Hinata with a reassuring smile. "Good luck, Hinata."
It had been a grueling and exhausting day. After everyone completed their training, they seemed all ready for a nap, but instead ate a quick lunch before heading over to the pavilion until dinner time. It was like working nonstop all day long, so by the time dinner came around, it was a miracle that no one passed out on the table.
Actually, Shikamaru, Naruto, and Lee were the only exceptions. They had to be constantly jostled awake by those around them, since no one wanted to listen to their loud snoring, and Sakura and Ino certainly didn't want their beloveds to have food caked onto their faces…even though they themselves thought that their dinner plates looked like comfortable pillows.
It was quite the temptation.
When dinner had finally ended, not a word was spoken amongst the group as each individual traveled sluggishly toward their bedrooms. With Gaara and a few select security force members as the exception, everyone else entered their dream worlds as soon as their bodies came in contact with their beds.
Which is why when Itachi arrived in Hinata's room much later that night, he found Hinata in a seemingly very deep sleep. So deep in slumber was she, that even when he called out her name to wake her, she didn't even twitch.
As a solution to his predicament, he merely picked her up out of bed and carried her sleeping body toward the meadow, thinking inwardly about how she did say that she preferred being carried when she was asleep so as to avoid the "terrifying" experience.
When he arrived at the darkened clearing, he gently and silently laid her body down onto the thick grass, noticing that she stayed asleep during the whole ordeal. In a crouched position just next to her, Itachi found himself watching her sleep ever so soundly. Every time she would exhale, she would release a tiny sound that certainly wasn't a snore. Hearing it somehow made his lips form into a smirk of amusement. Then, he turned his attention to the strands of hair that were beginning to fall over her face. Almost instinctually, he reached over to push them back, but stalled upon feeling her hair around his fingers. Just like every other time that he found himself holding her hair, he would allow the strands to run over his skin, feeling the smooth silky texture.
His hand froze when he caught himself, inwardly reprimanding himself for doing such a thing...even though he couldn't help it at times.
As he stayed crouched next to her sleeping figure, and just as he had planned that morning, he removed the pendant from around his neck and moved to tie it around hers instead. It was then that he noticed that some other necklace was already occupying her neck. Frowning in irritation, he continued forward and tied the pendant around her neck, liking how it overshadowed the other necklace. As he pulled away, the tips of his fingers brushed against her skin unintentionally, causing for him to pull away quicker and feel wonder at how even though she was mature, her skin had remained soft and unhardened by age.
That thought was quickly demolished, however, when the blood diamond made contact with her skin. Immediately, he felt at peace since he was once again able to almost hear her emotions flitting about in his mind. It was a complete onrush of human emotion, traveling from one end of the spectrum to the other. When the sensations calmed back to neutral, he could sense her utmost contentment, but also exhaustion. He could only assume that she had a tiring day.
That left him wondering if he should've just left her in bed, or perhaps take her back now and let her sleep in her own room rather than outside on the chilly ground. Thinking better of it, he removed his cloak and tossed it over her body, telling himself that he would just wait for her to wake on her own. Although, the thought of her sleeping the entire time that she was in his possession didn't bother him the way he thought it would. In fact, he would feel content just having her there rather than at the temple. It was his right after all.
What Hinata probably didn't know or realize was that from now on...her nights belonged to him…and him only.
"Though my soul may set in darkness,
It will rise in perfect light,
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night"
-Sarah Williams
The next chapter will continue right where this one left off, so don't worry, you won't miss anything!
Thanks for all the reviews! I can't say this enough—You guys are the best! I feel so appreciative of my reviewers.
Please keep sending me the love! With enough motivation, I'll have this finished by August.
Tranquilwriter