The Banana Slug: Hush…A character that is known to be very, very, very, very underrated. He may have a semi-weak backstory, hating Bruce because his parents died and his didn't…before his.
But, other than that, Hush, to me, is very interesting and waiting for you all to give poor Elliot a chance.
"Batman: Hush" was very entertaining, and "Heart of Hush" was magnificent. So please, make Hush the main baddy of "Beware the Batman", not Professor Pyg…
You Got BatRolled!
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 21: It's Hush, Man
Hush Gets A Call
After an afternoon of shopping, Hush enters his studio apartment with two bags of groceries as he kicks the dirt from his feet. He slides in and places the food on the table near his fridge.
He walks over to his bed and plops his back right on the mattress. He turns on the television and watches America's Funniest Home Videos with a Diet Double Dew can that mysteriously appeared in his hands.
"Bwah hah hah hah!" laughed Hush, "Stupid dog…heh…"
He then gets a call from his cellphone, his ringtone was "Sit On You" from "Tim & Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job!". He answered it with a, "Yeah-huh?"
"Hey, it's me, brah!" greeted a voice from the other side. It was Prometheus, who was on a comfy lounge chair in his mansion in another dimension, drinking Diet Pepsi.
Hush sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, apparently not fond of Prometheus. "Oh, hi Prometheus…" he grumbled.
"Soooo…how's things, Tommy?" asked Prometheus in a nice tone.
"It's Hush, man," groaned Hush.
"Sorry, my bad! Hahaha!" laughed Prometheus, then asking in a friendly tone, "I was just planning my revenge on the Justice League after I destroyed Star City! They totally let me go afterwards! What dumbasses! Anyway, I got Weather Wizard and Killer Moth on board and…well, you hate Batman, I hate Batman, and we kinda did in a way worked together once before. So, I was thinking you and I could team up and destroy him AND the League! What do ya say?"
"…Weather Wizard and Killer Moth?" asked a disinterested Hush.
"Yeah," replied a hoped-up Prometheus, "Along with Control Freak, Bizarro, and the Penny Plunderer! We're gonna blow up some more cities to make Justice League feel like crap and all!"
"…Penny Plunderer?" questioned Hush.
"Yeah, bra, I had to take what I can, man," explained Prometheus, "But, it's gonna be perfect, man! Together, we can both get our revenge!"
"On the League or Batman?" interrogated a disinterested Hush.
"…Both, man," replied Prometheus, scratching his head, "We could get revenge on both, right?"
"…I could give two-fecks about the Justice League, brah!" replied an annoyed Hush, "Batman humiliated and crying like a child is my only goal in life. I don't know why you hate Batman, either because of some contrived mind erasing crock, but that doesn't matter right now. What I really have a problem is your random goals."
"Random goals?" asked Prometheus with confusion and slight anger.
"Yeah," replied Hush as he took a sip of his Diet Double Dew, "You see, let's look at your last attack of the Justice League. You destroyed a whole of Star City, and from what I heard from Joker, you killed the daughter of a super, Lian Harper…that doesn't faze me, I would've done the same except not in a dumb way like you did."
"Uh, how…how would you do it?" asked a slightly annoyed Prometheus.
"Not important, but I would've done better," rambled on Hush, "Just as good as I am a better Anti-Batman than you."
"Excuse me?" growled Prometheus, "I am a better Anti-Batman than you could ever be!"
"Is that so?" asked Hush calmly.
"Yeah! What are you suppose to be anyway? Some Dirty Harry mummy…that preforms surgery?" growled Prometheus, "While I am…"
"The man who brought fire to the people and was wrongly accused by the gods, the name, Prometheus" finished Hush, "That name…really doesn't make sense to me. It would make sense if you were a fallen hero cheated by the others…but you weren't. You were the bastard son of two dumb criminal hippies that got their just desserts and you decided to go "flobbedy-goop" crazy! Thinking that you could get rid of ALL justice."
Hush got no response, Prometheus was shaking his fists and grinding his teeth, "Oh…yeah?" he growled out in anger.
"Yes," replied a calm Hush, "And what's more, my dear purple pal, your goal…doesn't make sense? What is justice? The quality of being fair and reasonable. The quality of being…well, just. Getting rid of justice means that you are getting rid of all good behavior. I for one would love to see people shooting their guns into the sky, massive orgies on the street, AND the Joker as mayor, but other than that, your whole philosophy is pointless. Many mistake revenge for a cry for justice. What the Justice League should be called is the Revenge League."
"Don't you talk about how bad revenge is, Elliot!" roared Prometheus, "You are all about revenge, man! Your whole pitiful existence is based on it! I was a child of circumstance, and you are a selfish brat!"
Hush was silent, then gave a dark smile, saying, "Yes…I am a selfish brat. I wanted the money my worthless parents had, and the Waynes ruined it all. Batman got all the money and the freedom when his worthless parents died, and I was forced to clean the crap from my nagging mother's mouth. And I blame Wayne for all of it, so yes…I am selfish. But I am the only one to admit it."
"Y'know what!" yelled Prometheus, "I don't need you! You are just a spoiled brat prep! I will destroy the Justice League! I will prove who is the better man! And I will show you how much of an Anti-Batman I truly am!"
"Sure, brah, whatever you say," replied Hush tauntingly, "But I must remind you, that even though you killed a little girl, remember this…I killed Batman's hunchback!" Prometheus stood there dumbfounded, then sighed and said sadly, "Damn it. I can't top that at all…"
"Of course not," sighed Hush happily, then adding quickly, "By the way, Green Arrow is behind you ready to shoot your dumb head off."
"Huh?" grunted Prometheus, who was quickly shot in the head with Green Arrow's green arrow and pushed onto a map of Africa. Green Arrow, standing in front of Prometheus' corpse, began to fist-pump and dance the Macarena in victory.
Hush laughed and ended the call, watching more of AFV. He laughed heavily at the one where the kid puts the mouse on top of his cage and it quickly gets captured by a passing-by hawk.
He then grabs his phone and calls someone. Who he calls is Slade…or as many fans call him, Deathstroke, but Slade sounds better. He was in his clockwork office as he answered his cellphone, which played, "Pussy" by Rammstein as it's ring tone.
"Mhm?" he replied.
"Hey Slaaaade," said Hush in an overly-nice tone.
"…Hi Hush," groaned Slade with dissatisfaction.
How Two-Face Got His Groove Back!
In a dark warehouse, Batgirl and Nightwing were tied on two chairs in a dank office as they sat there. They were conscious, not blinded by the cliché blindfold, and had no gags in their mouths.
"Batgirl!" grunted Nightwing, "Where are we?"
"…Warehouse," replied Batgirl.
"Yeah, I know!" grunted Nightwing, trying to break free, "But how did we get here?"
"…Mexican train?" asked Batgirl.
Nightwing stopped and simply stared at Batgirl with a scowl, she smiled and shrugged shyly. Then, the doors busted open to reveal Two-Face and two of his henchmen walking in.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Robin #1 and Batgirl #2," said Two-Face, flipping his coin several times, "I try and get out of the country on a Mexican train and you two just try and stop me so that I can go back to Arkham, eh?"
"Yes," replied Batgirl.
"Exactly how you expositioned it," added Nightwing.
"Since we got that clear, it's time to kill the both of you," continued Two-Face coldly, "First, one of you get something to remember me by…that's something the coin will determine."
"Yeah, like Indian food," grumbled a henchman.
"Shut up!" yelled Two-Face angrily, then saying to both of them as he showed them his coin, "Heads will be Nightwing, and Tails will be Batgirl…let's see who fate favors."
He then flips his coin, both heroes look at the coin with terror as the light shines from it. What was he going to do, cut one of their faces in half? Put them in a wood-chipper till only their top half remains? Or strap them to a log so that a saw blade could split them down the middle. The coin landed on Two-Face's palm as he slapped it against his wrist. He waited for a long while, creating suspense from the two. He lifted his hand and it revealed to be…
HEADS!
"It's you…Nightwing," growled Two-Face with a dark grin, "The coin says…it's you."
"Aaaagh! Crap!" growled Nightwing angrily, "Just my luck!"
"Yeah…luck," grunted Two-Face as he walked to Nightwing. He quickly grabbed his collar and lifted him up, his hands still bound was brought up to Two-Face's level as they glared at each other. Two-Face breathed out and growled out, "Something…to remember me by…"
With that, Two-Face moved forward and frenched Nightwing WHAT? Uh, yeah. Two-Face gave Nightwing a wet one on his lips, kissing him deeply with great passion. Nightwing, however, was deeply disturbed and attempted to pull away, but Two-Face grabbed his head and didn't let him.
Batgirl was obviously shocked by this display of kissing worthy of many slashfics, shaking her head in disbelief.
The two henchmen looked at Two-Face with surprise, also shocked by this display of sucking face. "Uh…did you know the boss was…liked dudes?"
"…Yes," said the other with a happy and nostalgic tone. The other henchman just gave him a strange and shocked look.
Two-Face gave final push and then released his mouth from Nightwing's. Nightwing gave him a strange and disturbed look, his eye twitching a bit.
"Two-Face…uh, I didn't know…you were gay," he let out, feeling violated.
"No, bisexual," replied a deadpan Two-Face.
"Ooooh! I get it!" laughed a henchman, "Cause, he's all about duality and bisexual is liking two genders! Ha ha! That's a good one." Two-Face glared at the man angrily, who gulped and looked away. Two-Face looked at the disturbed and uncomfortable Nightwing.
"I always thought you liked men," added Two-Face.
"Huh?" grunted Nightwing, shaking his head violently.
"Well, with the suit, the hair, and the fact you are voiced by Jesse McCartney," continued Two-Face.
"Look, man! You may be bi, but I am not! I am not…gay!" argued Nightwing, looking around nervously.
"Yeah, okay," replied Two-Face as he smiled.
"I'm not! I'm…definetly not gay!" defended Nightwing, sweating like a storm and blushing wildly.
"Okay,' replied Two-Face as he rolled his eyes.
"I'm not," he continued to argue, "I just…like the feel of…spandex and…"
"…Metro," finished Two-Face.
"Well…" replied Nightwing, thinking a bit. He then nodded and said with a high voice, "Yeah…guess I could be that."
"Oh well," sighed Two-Face, dropping him on the chair and pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He smoked it in front of the two with pride and a strong pose.
Batgirl looked around, then asking, "…Me?"
Two-Face looked over and said, "Sorry, coin says no."
"Damn…" she growled in anger.
The Banana Slug: …Well, it makes sense!
BTW I would like to give a shout-out to Matchet Hatchet for giving me the idea of the bisexual Two-Face idea.
I would like to encourage readers to give me ideas, and I will give you a shout-out. But I do have a FEW guidelines.
1. Don't give me a plot. Give me an idea. I'll run with it. If you don't like what I did, you can make a fanfiction of it, this is the site to do it.
2. Keep it somewhat appropriate and sane. No major sex stuff, no 100% nutty trollicious crap, and no serious stuff…please. _
3. Don't get mad if I don't use it. It's a fact of life, people will reject things. Sorry. :]