[Miko's Point of View]

I never realized how many friends I truly had until I returned to Konoha. Kakashi took some time off from his ANBU duties to see to my care personally. Sasuke and Naruto did whatever they could to assist him, even going so far as to try to get along. They didn't argue vocally, but it was clear from their deadly glances at each other that the competition was still on. What a pain, but at least they were quiet about it.

I had several visitors ranging from the Hokage to Inoichi-san who brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and assured me that my position would be waiting for me. "Please don't rush through the recovery," he insisted. "These things take time."

I felt blessed to have such great friends who really cared about me. It was a bit of a pain being bed-ridden, I felt much better physically. Kitsune recover relatively quickly. What hurt most was the psychological damage brought on from being in a perpetual state of agony and pain as Orochimaru probed through my soul looking for who knows what. Kakashi told me about the loss of one of my lives and I agreed that my early white streak must be a result of that. He also told me about the fire technique I now had. I vaguely remembered it, but in an attempt to cope mentally I had managed to push away most of the painful memories. Sasuke eagerly volunteered to help me harness this new power and Kakashi agreed that he was the most qualified to teach. Apparently the Uchiha specialize in fire techniques; I had no idea they were so talented.

Itachi was always in my dreams. Every morning when I was stirring awake, I could almost feel the lingering touch of his lips against mine, his arms around me, and his distinct scent. I always opened my eyes to realize with disappointment that it was nothing more than a dream. How my heart ached for him. I'm not sure if he was the one who rescued me. Orochimaru often kept me unconscious in between experiments. It seemed like one second Orochimaru was there and the next thing I knew I was in Itachi's comforting embrace. Had he really been there? I wasn't always so sure he was.

I had often thought about Itachi to keep from losing my mind after all hope of being rescued had disappeared. The memory of his arms around me, pleasant memories of better times helped keep the pain at bay. But it was too much to believe that it had real and I tried to push that from my mind as well. I didn't need more heartache; I had enough to last all nine of my lives. I was successful in forgetting about him during the day, but the dreams continued on.

One morning after Kakashi set my breakfast on the nightstand beside me, he turned to push the curtains aside to let light in. "Something is on your mind."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement that demanded a response.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes sleepily. "Yes there is," I confessed. But I remembered Inari-sama's words: I'll cover for you this time, but you're very lucky Inari did not hear your words. He would have been less understanding. I sighed as I hung my head. "But it isn't something I want to talk about." I forced myself to smile. "Don't worry about me, I'll be ok. So when do you think Sasuke-kun can start training m-"

He narrowed his visible eye at me. "It's about Itachi-san, isn't it?"

My eyes widened as his words cut me through the heart. Tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away before they had a chance to fall. "What are you talking about?" I scowled. "Why would I waste my time thinking about him?"

He put his hands in the pockets and leaned against the window frame. "Because you love him Miko-san," he said softly. "That's why."

I looked away. "So you know."

"I do," he confirmed. "And I know that he loves you too. He told me himself."

"When did he tell you that?" I couldn't help but ask. If he knew, there was no need to pretend that I hated Itachi like everyone else.

"After he rescued you, I confronted him," he said simply. "I can sort of understand his feelings, but don't you know better?"

So Itachi really had been there, that night of kisses and sleeping in his arms by the fire had really happened. For a second my heart leaped for joy, before it came crashing down to the reality of Kakashi's words. He was right; I had been trained to avoid connecting with my assignments. I did know better. I turned bright red with shame and nodded mutely.

He came over to sit on the bed beside me. I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shirt. He stiffened in surprise, and then awkwardly wrapped one arm around my shoulders. It wasn't very comforting, but probably the best he could manage.

"I know I've messed up big time," I sobbed. "But as long as I don't see him again, isn't it ok that I still hold onto these feelings?"

"That's a fine line," his deep voice murmured. "And one you shouldn't cross. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose."

He was right, but it still hurt so much.

"I…I…uh," he coughed nervously. "I never thought I'd ever share this with anyone, but perhaps through my mistake you'll understand a little better. I had a Kitsune guardian once…"

I sat up and wiped away my tears on my sleeve. "You did?"

He nodded. "Her name was Akari. She was a good friend of mine. I fell hard for her."

Inari-sama's words echoed in my mind: We see it happen often with young and impressionable assignments. So Kakashi was one of them. "What happened?"

He looked away uncomfortably. "She resisted my…uh…attentions for a while. Then one day I crossed the line by kissing her. She didn't kiss me back, but she didn't stop me either. In fact, she was crying when I pulled away. She ran away and never looked back. For many years I didn't know what became of her. In fact, I had forgotten all about her until…" His eye took on a haunted look. "One day our paths crossed while I was on a mission in Amegakure. She…" his voice caught in his throat and he cleared it. "I barely recognized her. She was just a shadow of her former self, a truly broken person. She cursed my name and told me how I had caused her downfall. She had been banished, doomed to wander alone and aimlessly, with nothing to look forward to. I did that to her. My youthful pride and foolishness did that."

I was surprised to see him start to cry. I had never seen him cry before. "Kakashi-san," I whispered.

He looked at me with a wretched expression. "If I could do it all over again, I would have listened to her the first time she rejected me. Then she would have been better off. She would have been happy."

Suddenly I remembered that I had seen this particular trial of Akari's. She had been charged with emotional compromising. She had initially begged to be re-assigned, something completely unheard of before. She insisted that she couldn't do it anymore. After an interrogation, she broke down saying that she loved him. While she had never acted on those feelings directly, she was still guilty of having them. And now I understood that my situation was infinitely worse. I have acted on these feelings and I knew in my mind that I should listen to Inari-sama and Kakashi. But…but could I really give him up?

"Take advantage of the distance," he gently encouraged. "Let him go and in time he will too."

"Will he really?" I asked, on the verge of tears again. This heartache was painful, but I think the idea of Itachi giving up on me was even more so.

"There's no way to know for sure," Kakashi admitted. "But I know this; he's not going to come back. He is in Akatsuki now and you have assignments here. Please give him up Miko-san; I don't want the same thing to happen to you that happened to Akari."

I didn't either. I did care for Itachi, but my allegiance is to Inari-sama. I serve him, not Itachi. I wasn't sure how I could give him up, but I had to find a way to. Besides, I thought bitterly. He's given me up for Akatsuki. So it serves him right.

Kakashi reassuringly patted my knee and stood up. "I'll reheat your breakfast. I'm sure its gotten cold by now."

He picked up the tray and closed the door behind him, leaving me alone with my lingering thoughts. I rested a hand on my aching heart. Even if I do get over you Itachi, there's no denying that you'll always have a part of my heart. I stood up to look out the window. From here in the distance I could see the remains of the Uchiha settlement, my eyes rested on the top of our tree. I narrowed my eyes. Good-bye Itachi. Take care of yourself and be happy as best you can. I'll always miss you, but now we've chosen different paths. Perhaps…perhaps this is for the best.

A week later I was considered recovered enough to train with Sasuke. He eagerly led me to the dock on the lake and showed me how he could breathe out a giant fire ball. I was very impressed and he beamed with pride. But no matter how much I tried I couldn't do the same thing. Whenever I tried, my hands tingled, leading us to believe the fire only worked through my hands.

Sasuke was not as patient a teacher as Itachi had been, and I tried hard to not compare the two of them. It still hurt to think about Itachi and I hated to admit to myself that I wasn't successful in getting over him. So it was easiest to just not think about him than to keep forcing myself to believe that I didn't love him when I did. But after months of practice I was able summon blue flames to the palms of my hands. It took even longer to learn how to throw them but I struggled to learn how to aim. One night I explained my predicament to Naruto at Ichiraku's.

"Surely it can't be harder than throwing a snowball," he said simply.

I blinked in confusion. "A snowball? What's that?"

He grinned as he took me by the hand and led me outside into the brisk night. He scooped up a handful of snow and formed it into a ball. "This is a snowball," he said proudly, holding it out for me to see. Just then Sasuke came around the corner and Naruto's expression turned wicked devious. "And this is what you do with it."

He drew his arm back and threw it forward. It flew straight at Sasuke and I gasped as it crashed into his face, effectively knocking him off his feet. Naruto laughed as I hurried over to help Sasuke up. He brushed me aside, looking murderously at Naruto as he rolled up the sleeves of his jacket. "You wanna fight? Then let's do this loser."

"Bring it on!" Naruto crowed as he formed another one. Soon they were flinging snowballs at each other with dizzying speed. I covered my eyes and groaned. They were eleven years old, when would they grow out of this?

A stray snowball struck me in the chest and they froze in horror. I brushed it off and glared at them. "Which one of you threw it?" I asked coldly.

Each one pointed at the other one accusingly, but afraid to speak.

I knelt down to make my own snowball. "Fine, then there's only one way to settle this," I said with a hint of a smile. I took careful aim at a snow-covered shop sign hanging over both of them. I remembered what Sasuke would tell me during training: Focus on it until it's the only thing you see. Let go of everything else.

I threw with all my might and they both covered their heads and ducked. It struck the corner of the sign and trembled. But nothing else happened. Naruto and Sasuke doubled over in laughter.

"Wow Miko, you really do suck," Naruto said through peals of laughter.

"You missed me by a mile!" Sasuke said in turn.

I was embarrassed and angry, so much that without thinking I quickly made another snowball and hurled it at the sign again. This time it was a solid hit and the snow came crashing down, knocking them both to the ground. They stared at me in surprise and this time I laughed. "Looks like victory is mine."

"Oh there's no way I'm gonna get bet by a girl," Naruto teased as he brushed himself off, made another snowball and threw. I dodged and threw another. I missed, but not by much. Soon all three of us were throwing snows at each until we were too exhausted to throw anymore.

We collapsed onto our backs, panting and giggling like fools.

Naruto spread out his arms and legs, moving them around. "What are you doing now?" I asked; rolling onto my side to see him more clearly as the snow started to fall again.

"I'm making a snow angel," he said with a smile.

"What's an angel?"

Sasuke rolled onto his stomach and rested his head in his hands. "An angel is a divine being, a messenger from God. Mother told me that special angels are guardians who watch over and protect you." He smiled sweetly. "You're my guardian angel Miko."

"Mine too," Naruto inserted.

I looked at both of them, considering this. Then I pushed myself to stand up and helped them up. "Then by that definition, I suppose I must be." I teased with a wink.

"You know what else angel's do?" Naruto asked as he grabbed my hand. "They make hot chocolate too."

I threw back my head and laughed. "Alright, let's get some coco."

Sasuke grabbed my other hand and the three of us walked back to Kakashi's place.