Now: I AM Iron Man!

Toni heard someone coughing right next to her, and she was not so sure of it had been for the first time. When she looked up, Frigga was standing there, right next to her and Jane, frowning at them. Jane was equally astonished, throwing a side glance at the engineer.

"How long do you think we have dulled out everything?"

"That guy over there is still eating his boar, can't have been that long…"

"What in the nine realms are you doing there?" The Queen of Asgard still did not know what to think about the spouses her sons had chosen. They had built something on the table in front of them, using plates, salt cellars and a mug that was still half full. Volstagg thankfully was still occupied with his meal, so he did not miss his mead that much.

Toni pointed to the mug. "This is the bigger moon, and that one's the smaller one… the plate is Asgard and your tides must be awesome here with the gravity of two moons…"

She trailed off as the Queen just continued frowning.

"You are going to marry the crown prince and the second son of…"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, not that again. I swear, if you continue, I will burn my bra or something…"

"You are possibly carrying the next crown prince…"

"…or crown princess…", Toni interrupted, getting another annoyed side glance. Inside, she was laughing, because she knew it was a boy. Pissing off Queen Mum was fun. "What, in your beloved Norway they changed the law not so long ago that also firstborn girls are not skipped anymore."

Both of them were spared Frigga's answer to that when the large doors to the hallway were pushed open rather forcefully.

Toni was gritting her teeth while she worked on getting rid of the lower half of her gown. Loki was sliding closer, slowly, but steadily. Trust Thor to fuck up their day-before-the-wedding party even more.

Okay, so it was not really Thor's fault. From what she had gathered some love-sick chick that ran by the name Amora did not exactly agree with his engagement to Jane and thought that showing up at a party, casting a spell over all the warriors in the room to not really get what was going on while her minions were searching for that mortal woman would somehow get her into the Thunder Pants' pants.

And to make things even worse, Blondie was allowed to wear revealing clothes.

Where was Odin-Allfather when you really needed him? Taking a leak, or what?!

Loki had almost reached Jane, after all, he knew that Toni could take care of herself, while he would do everything to keep his nephew safe when one of Amora's lackeys had reached Toni. Yup, she was shorter than the average Asgardian woman, so she must be the one they were looking for, right?

While the minion informed his mistress about his success by just yelling it across the entire room, Loki reached out for Jane and pulled her close to him, moving stealthily to get her out of the war zone. If Amora had a spell on all the warriors in the room to act as nothing was wrong, the Trickster surely had cast some spell to make the minions oblivious to what he did.

Thor whirled around at the same time Amora did, his blue gaze fixing on Toni who did not make any resistance against the lackey's grip, but nodded slightly into Loki's direction. Thor's eyes drifted that way just in time to see his brother disappear with his spouse and a tiny smirk appeared around the corners of his mouth.

"Are you ready to take out the garbage, Man of Iron?" his booming voice thundered through the hall, making Toni laugh delightedly as she continued holding out her hand, the minion behind her making the most confused face Asgard had ever seen. Thor knew what that posture meant, Lady Antonia was summoning her suit, and yeah, how about that, bringing J.A.R.V.I.S. and the suit?! It's not paranoia if they are really out to get you, thank you very much!

Frigga shot her a disapproving glance as the first gauntlet crashed a hole into one window before it attached to her left hand and wrapped around her arm. She finally got rid of the skirt, revealing her pink Hello Kitty panties to an audience that had never seen such a color.

The Queen let out an exasperated huff as other pieces of her armor broke what was left of the window, wrapping around her other arm and her legs. Toni could see that she wanted to scold her when the torso finished off what was left of the glass, but just then Mjolnir came crashing through a wall and flew straight into Thor's hand.

After that the Queen of Asgard just wore a resigned expression, that was quickly replaced by a Wait, WHAT? frown.

Toni deliberately made a show of catching the face plate, effectively blasting the minion that still tried to grope her into the next wall before landing in her patented three-point touch-down, face lifting to direct the glowing blue eyes at her mother-in-law.

"Yeah. I AM Iron Man! You got any problems with a tiny Earth-woman saving your ass?"

With that she aimed her repulsors at the lackey behind Frigga and sent him to the Asgardian version of Dreamland, before taking off.

Thank god Asgard's halls were so frickin' large.