As usual, sorry about the delay. I've got the writing mojo on and a free (ish) weekend so a couple of chapters should hopefully be uploaded for you guys. I figured, after the ending of this brilliant show, that we needed to go back to when it all began...
Give her piggy back rides…..
"Where's Jax?" Tara asked as she scoured the crowds, trying to distinguish his handsome face amongst the mob.
Opie grinned as he walked beside her, his hand trying to yank the keys to the truck out of his pocket. "Er, last I saw of him he had his tongue half way down Maisie Lowe's throat"
Tara face contorted with disgust. Was there ever a time when the three of them could just go to a party and not have their adolescent urges take them away from the group? She swayed slightly, the alcohol affecting her movement as she walked towards Opie's truck. It was definitely time to go home.
As they approached the truck a shrill sound offended Tara's ears. "Oh Opie, Opie, Opie!"
Tara turned to see a petite blonde girl standing behind them. Tara recognised her from school and thought that she was in the year below them. The girl smiled coyly, her big blue eyes glancing seductively in Opie's direction, making eye contact with the bashful biker through her curls. Tara turned to look at Opie, who smiled awkwardly back at the girl, his face flush with embarrassment.
"Er, Tara this is Amy. Amy this is T-"
"Yeah, hi" the girl offered not even glancing Tara's way as she walked straight passed her to stand in front of Opie. The girl reached up on tip toes to whisper something in Opie's ear, a small giggle escaping her lips.
Great, Tara thought.
Opie smiled shyly, his hand resting on Amy's hip "Er Tara, Amy needs a ride home. Do you mind if she joins us?"
Tara couldn't help but smile. Opie was popular with the girls, not nearly as popular as Jax, but he still did well for himself. But at least Opie wasn't as brash about his conquests as Jax was.
"Actually Ope, I think I need to get some fresh air. The walk home will do me good"
Opie looked across at his friend, a sense of disloyalty engulfing him, he didn't mean to blow Tara off. "No. I can drop you home, I just …"
"Really Ope, its fine. It'll take me fifteen minutes tops" Tara replied. Although in her drunken state they both knew it may take quite a while longer.
"Yeah, it's fine" the voice behind her said "I'll walk Tara home"
Tara snorted, not even turning to look the person standing behind her. She knew who that voice belonged to.
Opie's eyes darted from Tara's face to Jax's. Tara guessed that Jax must have silently reassured Opie to leave, maybe through a nod or wave, as Opie's features relaxed a little and smiled, his long arm looping over the petite blondes shoulder as he escorted her towards his truck. The blonde nervously bit her lip as she looked across as Jax, still standing behind Tara, her big blue eyes burning with lust as she looked across at the blonde Adonis who was so adamant to walk one of his oldest friends home. Jax winked back at her, recognising her as being one of his brief conquests from last year. Amy looked straight through Tara, ignoring her completely. Bitch, Tara thought venomously.
As Opie sped off into the darkness, Tara continued to stumble across the lawn of whoever's party it was. She was that drunk she couldn't remember whose house she had just left. Her unsteady feet directed her onto the sidewalk and she started to walk away from Jax, not bothering to look behind her as she walked away. She heard a voice in her head pleading with her not to fall over and embarrass herself. She'd never hear the end of it from him.
She knew he'd follow, not that she wanted him to. Blind loyalty to her had him follow her like a puppy on a leash, although that wouldn't be an analogy that Jax Teller would be fond of hearing. At this precise moment she was livid at him, although she couldn't pinpoint why. She sensed him just a couple of steps behind her, his long legs easily keeping pace with hers, although in her inebriated state that wasn't a hard task. And Jax could always hold his liquor better than Tara, he had proved that on many occasions.
"You ok there Knowles?" he asked, trying to bite back a smile as he watched her stagger down the sidewalk. His eyes trying to avoid looking at how great her butt looked in her faded denim jeans.
"I don't need you to baby sit me Teller" she spat over her shoulder "I can get home just fine"
Jax smirked, his hands held out a little in front of him as she became more unsteady. He felt like a father watching his toddler take their first steps, his hands ready to catch them if they fell "I'm sure you can, darlin' I just wanna make sure you get there in one piece"
Tara stopped abruptly, causing Jax to nearly walk straight into her. She turned around to face him quickly, causing her auburn locks to whip around and almost smack him in the face. He didn't need to see her expression to know that she was pissed at him but his eyes met hers anyway. Her features mirrored the disdain that she felt for him at that moment. Whenever she was angry, for some magical reason, he always thought her eyes turned a few shades darker, turning from mossy green to brown.
He asked the question that he already knew the answer to. "Are you pissed at me Knowles?"
Her brow creased a little more, her eyes growing darker "Yes, Teller, I'm pissed at you!"
His mind searched for a reason as to why. How had he fucked up? He shoved one hand into his denim pocket, his other hand swept through his golden hair, resting on the back of his neck. After a few moments he gave up and nonchalantly shrugged at her "Why?"
Her face contorted with disgust. Could he really not see what he was doing? "Why? Why am I pissed at you? Because every party that we go to you swan off, never to be seen for the rest of the night, and it's obvious what you're doing"
Jax smiled down at her. God, she truly was mad at him. He tried to hide his smirk as he look at her, silently registering how beautiful she looked as her unblinking stare pinned him to the spot. But why was she mad? Because he left her to go and get acquainted with some of the Charming High talent? Jax thought he deserved a medal, not a lecture. But he desperately tried to bite back his smile. His virginal friend hadn't become acquainted with intimate moments with the opposite sex yet but when she did she'd understand why it was so appealing. Jax tried to swallow the envy he felt for the guy that would introduce her to that world, the guy who would kiss her, take her virginity. His fist tensed as he thought about the bastard that would finally claim her.
"Didn't Opie keep you company?" his brows rose. Had she been left on her own all night? If that was true then maybe he shouldn't leave her alone by herself at these parties, especially with Hale sniffing around. He knew that Tara had chatted to some of the girls tonight at the party, he had briefly checked in on her whilst Maisie went to the bathroom, only to be given the cold shoulder by Tara. He figured she was drunk and went to hunt down Maisie again, but not without his eyes making a quick assessment of the room to make sure David Hale wasn't lurking in a corning somewhere, ready to strike once Jax had gone. Had one of her girlfriends pissed her off? Is that why she's so livid?
"Yes, Jax he did. But I don't need a babysitter, you and Opie don't need to hold my hand every time we go to a party. But that's not the point …."
Jax's eyes never left her face, his mind desperately trying to understand her contradiction. He waited for her to continue but she couldn't seem to form the words.
"I don't understand Tara. You say you don't need a babysitter, that you don't need me or Ope to be with you, but then you're pissed that I went off with Maisie. Which is it?"
It was the mention of Maisie's name that had Tara snap her head up to look at him, levelling him with a steely glare. It was then that it hit him.
He snorted through pursed lips, his crystal blue eyes twinkling down at her "My, my Knowles. You're not jealous are you?"
His lips gave her that delectable Teller grin but his eyes studied her intently, looking for a hint that maybe she had a touch of the green eyed monster, that she wanted more from him than just friendship. And she gave it him. It was the briefest of moments, just before her face contorted with disbelief, where her eyes gave her desire away, widening slightly. It was look that Jax Teller had seen from girls since he was thirteen years old, a moment of pure lust. It was a look that told Jax that he could make his move and the girl would be more than willing to reciprocate.
Her breath hitched and she knew she had given herself away, known by the fact that his face had softened and that his smile faltered slightly, his eyes gazing momentarily on her mouth. She watched as his tongue peeked slightly between his lips, wetting them.
She staggered backwards, away from Jax and his oh so tempting mouth.
As if.
As if this boy that she had known since she was six would ever consider her to be something more. She wasn't the beautiful, sporty, popular girls that Jax could be seen around school with. He would never lazily rest his arm around her shoulders, gaze into her eyes and call her 'darlin'. And even if he did, Jax Teller would break her heart, as he did with all the other girls. His reputation preceded him. Yeah Tara, she chastised, as if.
She carefully backed away, the alcohol still affecting her movements. She snorted, trying lighten the mood "Yeah Jax, I'm so jealous of all the sluts who are just too eager to open their legs for you"
She continued to walk down the side walk, knowing that home was just a few more minutes' walk. She didn't look back at him, humiliated by her betrayal. He stood still for a few seconds on the pavement where she had left him, staring into the space she had just left, his mind trying to register her unspoken words. Maybe it was just the drink. Maybe she'd had too many, which her slow, cumbersome movements told him that she had, and he had imagined that flicker in her eyes. Maybe he had only seen what he wanted to see, a fleeting moment that suggested he had a chance. But for a moment it definitely felt like she had wanted him to kiss her. And he found himself regretting that he hadn't made a move on her, like so many before.
He shook his head, ridding himself of tempting images, and within seconds he was at her side, silently striding alongside her. In that moment she wished he would just disappear and her cheeks stung with embarrassment. She cringed with humiliation, knowing that he now knew her interest in him and the fact that she was jealous of the girls Jax dated, but only she knew that it was because her feelings towards him had changed in these last couple of months.
"You don't need to walk with me Jax" she whispered, her admission seemed to have sobered her up a little.
"I know but I want to" he quietly replied, allowing himself to briefly glance across at Tara. She her cheeks was tinged with a scarlet red, her body seemed more rigid, her hair cascaded down the side of her face to try and act as a barrier between them, to shield her shame. He never thought that she could have feelings for him, that their flirting would only ever be harmless fun, that she couldn't mean anything by the banter. But part of him was elated. He couldn't deny that he had felt a slight shift between him and Tara in these last few months, that his eyes had lingered for longer on parts of her body that he had never noticed years ago. That her face could leave him mesmerised, that her care free laugh eased his most painful moments.
Shit, did that mean he was in love?
It was while they were both lost in these silent, awkward thoughts that Tara lost her balance, her left ankle buckled and sent her hurtling towards him and only his quick reactions and strong arms stopped her from hitting the ground.
"Whoa, there Knowles" He smiled as they stopped to get her upright again. It seemed that her shock revelation had not sobered her completely. She held onto the top of his arms to steady herself and she couldn't help but tremble a little as she felt the flex of his biceps underneath his flannel shirt as he helped her upright.
Fantastic, she cringed, as if I could make myself look any more of an idiot in front of him.
Jax looked down into her glazed eyes, holding her forearms to stop her swaying body from falling again. Her place was only a few minutes' walk but he needed to get her there without her breaking her ankle. So he stepped in front of her, his back to her, and bent over slightly. After a moment he peered over his shoulder to see her confused expression.
"If you walk any further you'll do some damage. Get on my back"
Tara snorted at his demanding tone "You're not giving me a piggyback home Jax. I can walk just fine"
In the moonlight she could see his sapphire blue eyes peeking through his flaxen hair as he looked back at her "Well recent events have proved otherwise babe. Get on"
After a moments deliberation Tara consented. Placing her hands on his shoulders she hoisted herself up onto his back and swiftly her long legs wrapped around his hips. It was an action that wasn't lost on either of them, sending electricity coursing through both their adolescent bodies. Bodies that wanted each other, although Jax's intentions were unclear to Tara, he not admitted his feelings yet. Once again she grimaced, in one slight look she had betrayed herself and he knew she was victim to the Teller charm. He carried her in silence, allowing her to rest her chin on his shoulder and inhale the heady scent of beer, tobacco and body wash that came from his body and clothes. She felt intoxicated all the more just inhaling him.
Jax's long strides meant that it took just a couple of minutes to reach her house and he felt unwilling to put her back on her feet, knowing that he would miss the feel of her arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist. Reluctantly he crouched slightly, allowing her to unlock her legs and safely stand on her own two feet. She smiled nervously at him, her lips forming a tight grin, her hand running through her long hair.
"Well, I better let you get back to the party, huh?" she whispered, knowing that now he had brought her home he was free to go and sample some more of the talent on offer at the party they had just left.
"Nah, I think I'll head home" he shrugged, his eyes gazing into hers.
"What, was Maisie that much of a disappointment?" Tara smirked but couldn't help the quick remark, jealously filling her body and flushing her cheeks.
Jax ignored her remark. He may not love any of the girls her saw, Christ in some cases he didn't even like them, but he was respectful about them after he had gotten what he wanted.
"I better go. It's late" Jax was shocked that he had actually said those words. Was he worried about getting in to late? Hell no, but he was concerned about this growing uneasiness between him and his childhood friend. His very beautiful childhood friend.
Tara nodded, slight disappointment etched on her face "Yeah, me too. My dad will be home soon no doubt"
She pointed towards the empty driveway. It was past two in the morning and her dad could be back from one of his binges at any moment.
Jax bit his lip as he studied her face. She looked hugely uncomfortable, her body still rigid, even though it had been wrapped around his just moments ago. She couldn't quite meet his eyes as she spoke to him. Shit, this was bad. He didn't like knowing that he was the cause of her unease.
"Night, Knowles"
She seemed to exhale a breath that she didn't know she was holding and she watched as he began to walk away from her, down her driveway. "Goodnight Jax"
It was while she chastised herself for not thanking him for bringing her home that she realised that he had stopped and had begun to walk back towards her, his eyes ablaze with lust. For a heart stopping moment she thought he would swoop down and kiss her but he stopped just inches from her face, his hands gently holding each side of her face.
"What if I told you that I don't want Maisie Lowe? Or any other girl that I waste my time with?"
Her brows creased and her eyes searched his. What was he trying to tell her?
Jax didn't know how to phrase what he was saying to her, didn't filter anything and spoke from the heart.
"What if I told you that I think about you… a lot. That I think about you and me becoming more than just friends? What would you…." He wet his lips and pondered his next question "What would you say if I told you that when I'm alone at night I imagine kissing you?"
Tara's throat dried up. She had never seen Jax nervous. In fact he looked absolutely terrified as he confessed to her his feelings, his blue eyes wide with fear, and she was speechless. She swallowed.
"Look, Jax, you don't need to say these things because of what happened. You don't need to pity me or feel like you need to say this just to make me feel better"
Jax looked hurt for a moment and his eyes delved deeper into hers "I don't pity you Tara. I've been fighting with myself about this for months, maybe even longer. I don't want any other girl and I don't want you to have any other guy. The thought of you, my Tara, with anyone else makes me as jealous as hell"
His eyes showed her the sincerity that she yearned for "I want you Tara"
He continued to hold her head gently in his hands and his eyes searched hers for some kind of confirmation of how she felt. He couldn't resist looking at her lips as her tongue slowly wet them.
And with that, after another fleeting look into her green eyes, her leaned down and kissed her gently. He held his lips on hers for a few moments, giving her chance to back away, struggle or slap him, but she didn't. Instead he felt her hands rest against his chest, her fingers claw slightly at the material of his shirt. His lips slowly moved against hers, confident now that she would allow him, and his fingers became entwined in her thick mahogany locks, allowing him to tilt her head back a little to gain deeper access. He tentatively deepened the kiss, his tongue flicking against her closed lips, searching for entry, and her lips opened instinctively, allowing their tongues to meet for the first time.
The kiss was slow, it wasn't how Jax usually kissed a girl, he normally preferred a forceful, frantic kiss. But there was something delicious and erotic about this kiss with Tara, it allowed him to savour the feel of her lips on his, to explore her mouth as well as the way she tasted. He realised that he must have been doing something right as Tara's innocent hands travelled down his chest and stomach and looped around his waist, travelling further south to grab his butt. The action surprised him a little but even more so when her now needy hands pushed him closer to her, allowing his erection to push against her pelvis bone and he heard her moan against his mouth.
As much as he wanted to explore the rest of her body, he was painfully aware of her virginity, and kept his hands rested in her hair. He gave her one last lingering kiss, his tongue slowly sliding across her full lower lip. She had never been kissed like this before, by someone who know how to make you breathless just by flicking his tongue momentarily against hers. In the few instances that she had been kissed, her partners had been sloppy and needy, their mouths too eager and their tongues too inexperienced. But all the girls were right. Jax Teller knew how to kiss.
And if he knows how to kiss, imagine what else he could do. The thought alone made the muscles deep inside her belly clench tighter. She clung to him tighter as he started to pull away.
Jesus, he was panting. Never before had a kiss had that effect on him, and he had a lot of kisses to compare it to. He gazed down at her and gave her a moment to open her eyes and he noticed the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she composed herself. It seemed they were both feeling the effects to the kiss.
"Tara" he whispered, somewhat breathlessly.
She closed her eyes again momentarily and pursed her lips together, savouring the taste of Jax on her lips. It was delicious. When she opened them again he was searching her eyes, something inside him was pleading with her.
"Tara, I need to know. Do you want this?"
She wasn't exactly sure what his loaded question meant. Does she want him to kiss her again? That was a given, the heat between her legs was a clear sign that she did. Did she want sex? She wasn't sure if she was ready for that step just yet but in time, especially if he continued to kiss her like that, then definitely.
"I want you" she whispered back. He closed his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip. There was something pained about his expression.
"I mean, do you want this, me and you?"
His baby blues searched hers frantically, searching for an answer. It would be really fucking awkward on Monday at school if she said no right now. He surprised himself that he was asking her such a question. Was he really asking her to go steady?
She slowly nodded, her eyes resting on his lips and then travelling back to his eyes. "Yeah, I do. But…"
He held his breath. He knew why she would doubt, why she would question having a relationship with him.
"The other girls Jax. I can't have –"
"I know" he cut her off, holding her head firmly so that she could see the sincerity in his eyes "There won't ever be any other girls Tara. I don't want anyone else"
"If you hurt me Jax…."
"I promise you I won't. I'd rather die than see you get hurt"
She took in a ragged breath as she heard, and felt, the honesty in his voice. She smiled shyly, he hands grasping at the material of his blued checked shirt on his chest "Okay"
Jax's eyebrows rose to the heavens and he smiled down at her "Really?"
She nodded again and a broad grin spread across both their faces as he pulled her into another breath taking kiss.
And as she melted into his touch and the feel of his experienced mouth against hers, Tara felt as if everything in the world had shifted into place, that she had finally realised what all this 'falling in love' stuff was about. It almost felt as if Jax's love had brought her to life and she desperately wanted his love….
….. even if it would be the death of her.