Hey guys! Hope you like this one. As usual if there's anything you feel like saying or asking me about, please leave a review or message me on tumblr and I'll always get back to you!
A little dedication in here for AlabamaMiles... she'll be able to spot it ;)
Enjoy you wonderful people!
Chapter 21:
...
Santana sat in her car in NYADA's parking lot, her forehead resting against the worn leather of the steering wheel and her arms crossed tightly around herself, trying to close herself off from everything around her. No matter how hard she tried, the anxious thoughts spinning around her head and the unsettling feeling at the pit of her stomach didn't seem to be disappearing. Ever since she and Brittany had parted ways a few hours ago to head to their respective classes, she hadn't been able to shake the uneasiness which seemed to take over her. She couldn't concentrate in her classes; the thrill she usually got from dancing and singing wasn't able to distract her as it had done so many times before. Instead, the sourness of Quinn's words threw her off beat, the bitterness and judgement which had laced her tone disrupted her usually bang-on rhythm, and the hurt and betrayal she felt shook her reliably powerful voice. She had sat through coffee with Kurt, simply going through the motions, nodding and adding the occasional comment whilst she sipped on her latte, desperately hoping the caffeine might jolt her from her uneasy state. Her forced smiles and guarded body-language didn't go unnoticed by her roommate, who watched with concern as he kept up light-hearted conversation in a hope to distract her from her clearly troubled thoughts. The only moment of release she'd had was when she'd received a text from Brittany about half an hour ago.
This morning was incredible. I think I'm still recovering ;) I know that beautiful head of yours is probs driving you crazy with worry, but try to keep smiling. I love you after all ;) xx -Britt
The small smile on her lips was a brief but appreciated relief from the anxiety surrounding her. She loved that Brittany knew her so well and could tell what was going on in her head without even being with her. She was right. Her mind was running crazy, over-thinking and over-analysing as usual, but still she couldn't stop it from returning once again to those thoughts.
Why did Quinn react so badly?
Santana hadn't expected it to go smoothly when she finally told Quinn about her and Brittany, but she never thought it would be like that. Quinn had been so angry, but still it was more than that. Santana couldn't stop her brain from constantly replaying the dialogue between them; she had gone through the argument so many times in her head that it had become almost comical, like a poorly acted TV sitcom. She could practically hear the audience's gasps after each biting comment, and the cheers and applauds when she slapped her hard across the cheek.
She gripped the steering wheel in front of her and screwed her eyes shut tight to fight back the tears which were beginning to sting them. She just couldn't understand why Quinn had been so aggressive. Her oldest friend was usually such a level-headed, rational person, and Santana had never seen her emotions get the better of her like that before. If something upset or frustrated her it was almost always impossible to tell; she had a long-practiced talent for keeping her emotions in check and retaining a measured, neutral demeanour, even when anger was boiling beneath that cold, hazel stare and tight-lipped smile. She was a freaking nightmare to play poker with. So why was this different?
Santana could understand Quinn being pissed with her for not telling her sooner; she knew she should have had the courage to tell her a while ago, and certainly under different circumstances rather than just blurting it out in a bar. But that went no way to excusing the hateful names that Quinn had called her or the venom that had laced each sour sentence. It had to be more than that. Was it because Brittany's a girl? Santana couldn't believe it would just be about that. Sure, that may have been partly behind why she was so judgemental about their relationship, but that detail never came up once amidst the range of colourful insults and curse words thrown her way last night, and she knew Quinn well enough to know that she could never be so totally malicious about something of that nature. Santana was pretty sure it was more to do with the fact that the girl was Brittany.
On the one hand, she understood. Don't get her wrong, she was not the slightest bit okay with how Quinn had reacted and it didn't in any way justify the things she had said, but she did understand to an extent. Santana hadn't exactly been the nicest person for the last few years. She was angry and upset that her dad and Brittany had left and she hated the world and everyone in it because of it, so why would she care how she treated them? She'd begun an endless rhythm of far too frequent parties, too much alcohol and way too many meaningless hook-ups, in a miserable attempt to numb the pain she felt because of the emptiness within her. Sure, she was one of the most popular girls in school, consistently surrounded by an entourage of Cheerios and could date any of the guys she wanted, but never had she felt so totally alone. What she hadn't quite realised all that time was that the emptiness could only be filled by one person. That's what Quinn didn't understand; it was Brittany that had been missing in her life, and Brittany she needed more than anything else. She was the only one who had ever been able to break through her carefully constructed walls and only with Brittany was she the best version of herself. She was the one person that saw Santana, like truly saw her, and the only person that knew how to love her, when everything she ever needed was to be loved.
Santana was jolted from her thoughts by a loud honk of a horn and glanced in the rear view mirror to see a slightly irritated-looking woman motioning with her hands to ask if she was coming or going. She lifted her hand to catch a single tear she hadn't realised had fallen over her cheek before sending the woman an apologetic wave and reversing out of the parking spot.
She hated this. She hated this incessant conflict going on in her head. She was so unbelievably happy with Brittany; she was so happy to finally be herself without pretending anymore, and so happy that she got to call the girl she had loved since she was six years old her own. But beneath all that was the underlying knowledge that her oldest friend wasn't accepting of it. She didn't want this sour taste tainting everything else that was so damn perfect.
As she drove back to her apartment, diligently stopping at each red light and monotonously shifting through the gears, she tried desperately to pinpoint the root of Quinn's bitterness. Why, when Santana had finally freed herself from her dark past and the person she used to be, was Quinn so intent on dragging it back up and preventing her from moving on? Jealousy? Misguided assumptions? Or simply the inability to trust that Santana had or could ever really change?
She pulled into her building's parking lot and shut off the engine. Letting out a frustrated sigh she stepped out of her beat up old car and slammed the door, before making her way up the several flights of stairs she really didn't feel like facing right now.
"Elevator's still broken." She announced to no one in particular as she entered the apartment and hung her leather jacket up on the hook by the door.
"We should really complain if it doesn't get fixed soon." Santana jumped a little at the sound of Rachel's voice, not realising her roommate was sitting at the kitchen island. She nodded wearily in response before making her way over to the couch and slumping down on it, glad to finally be home and relax. Rachel soon followed, handing Santana a mug of tea before plopping herself down next to her. "Here. You look like you could use some. Tea solves everything." Santana smiled weakly and gratefully accepted the cup.
"Thanks, Berry. Although I really wish that were true." Rachel smiled sympathetically and turned to face the Latina.
"I saw Tina earlier… She said Quinn wasn't at any of her classes today." Rachel said slowly, knowing exactly what was occupying Santana's thoughts. Santana shrugged and took a sip of her much needed tea before responding as casually as she could, despite the anxiety still plaguing her mind.
"So?" She didn't want to let on quite how much this was bothering her. She just wanted the exhausting worrying in her head to stop.
"Santana this is Quinn we're talking about. In all the years I've known her she's never once missed a class." Rachel said seriously. Santana nodded, giving in to the truth behind her roommate's words. "She practically had to be forced to go home that time she had mono." She added, causing a brief smile to appear on the Latina's lips. Quinn had always been such a goody-two-shoes, unlike Santana who would take any and every opportunity to skip class. It made her wonder how they ever became so close in the first place. "Do you… think you should speak to her?" Rachel asked tentatively. Santana sighed and brought a hand up to the bridge of her nose, pinching it slightly.
"I don't know." It was all she could say in response. She had no idea if she wanted to speak to her, at least right now. She hadn't been able to decide if she was relieved or irritated by the fact that Quinn hadn't tried to call or message her once since their fight. Santana wanted to explain everything to her, calmly this time and in a way that she would understand. She wanted more than anything for her to be okay with this. But she also wanted to scream at her, to slap her again and maybe even punch her. In the face. With a chair. God she was so freaking angry about the way Quinn had spoken to her and Brittany, but she didn't know if going to see her and getting it all off her chest would be therapeutic, or just damaging. She sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that afternoon, and wished she could go back to this morning and all of its perfectness with Brittany. Rachel placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and looked at her intently.
"I know it sucks. And I know she's probably the last person you want to see right now, but I really think you do need to speak to her eventually." Santana leant her head back on the couch cushion and took in a deep breath. When she didn't respond, Rachel continued. "I'm not saying you should forgive her, because from what you've told me the things she said were awful, but this is Quinn. You need to talk to her." Santana nodded and closed her eyes, feeling tears prickling them again.
"Why?" She said barely above a whisper, not wanting to speak any louder for fear that her voice would crack. She opened her eyes and turned to face Rachel, whose eyebrows were pinched together and her head was tilted slightly to the side.
"Why do you need to talk to her?" She questioned gently.
"No. Why did she do it?" Her roommate's face softened in understanding. "Why is she being like this?" Her voice did crack a little this time and she screwed her eyes shut tight again, fighting back the threatening tears.
"I don't know sweetie." Rachel replied, her voice soft and full of concern. "I wish I did, but I don't. You know Quinn better than anyone, and that's why you need to speak to her, and find out where all this is coming from." Santana nodded again and leaned her head on her friend's shoulder, searching for a bit of comfort. "I understand her being shocked. I mean, I can't say I wasn't a little surprised myself when I found out – especially considering how I found out," Santana let a soft laugh escape her at her friend's teasing. "But I still don't get why she reacted so awfully, and why she said all those horrible things. I'm so sorry that she's made you feel like this. You know HummelBerry are here for you right?" Santana smiled and allowed Rachel to pull her in for a much needed embrace.
"Thank you, Berry." She said sincerely, wrapping her arms around the petite brunette. "Now tell me about your day as a big ass Broadway star."
…
"Hey baby." Santana instantly felt herself relax at the sound of the voice she'd been craving since this morning.
"Hey Britt-Britt. Can I-"
"Of course you can. I've just finished class, so I'll see you at home in like 15?" Brittany cut her off, immediately knowing what she was going to ask. Santana smiled at the words of the girl who knew her so well.
"Thank you. I just really need to be with you right now."
"I know, sweetie. And there's no other place I would want you to be." Santana smiled again, feeling some of the tension beginning to melt away from her exhausted body. "We can watch movies, get drunk and talk about how awesome we are." Santana let out a soft laugh and heard Brittany reciprocate at the other end of the phone. She loved how she always knew exactly what to say to cheer her up.
"That sounds like exactly what I need right now. Will… will Quinn be there do you think?" She asked tentatively, hoping to god the answer would be no. However much she knew she needed to speak to her, she really didn't feel like doing it just yet.
"Hopefully not. I'm pretty sure she's been staying at a friend's the past few days. So I'll see you soon?" Santana breathed a sigh of relief.
"Yeah. I love you."
"I love you too." Santana hung up the phone and smiled as she grabbed her things, not bothering to change out of her sweats or put make-up on, and headed towards the door.
…
"Okay even though I've seen that movie like a million times it's still freaking hilarious!" Santana announced from her place next to Brittany on the couch as she took another gulp of wine.
"I know right! Like seriously, I think Megan and I are kindred spirits." Brittany replied, causing Santana to laugh loudly. The two of them were curled up on the sofa in Brittany's apartment, having just finished Bridesmaids, surrounded by two empty bottles of rosé and an embarrassingly large amount of Reese's packets.
"Britt, you're way too hot for Megan to be your kindred spirit." Santana told her, only to laugh again when Brittany turned to face her with chocolate smeared all over her mouth. "Most of the time anyway." She teased, lifting her hand to wipe the chocolate from her girlfriend's face. Brittany swatted her away playfully but couldn't stop the little giggle that escaped her lips. "But seriously, Britt-Britt, you're definitely a 10. And I should know, I'm a 10 too." She added with a smirk and Brittany rolled her eyes, before pulling her in and wrapping her arms around her shoulders. The girls shifted so that they were both lying down comfortably, and Santana nuzzled into Brittany's neck. She let out a contented sigh. "Thank you for this, Britt. This was exactly what I needed." Brittany smiled and placed a soft kiss to her forehead.
"It's what I'm here for baby. And besides, I would have felt like a total loser staying in, drinking wine and eating my body weight in peanut butter cups by myself, so…" Santana chuckled against her shoulder and squeezed her arms tighter around the blonde's waist.
"How do you put up with me? Like, seriously, I can't even put up with me." Brittany giggled softly and let her finger brush over the tanned arm resting on her stomach. "You've just always got me, and I've never understood why. I just… I wish everyone was like you. If more people were like you, everything would be better, you know? Plus Quinn wouldn't be being such a total bitch." Brittany smiled and continued tracing soft patterns over Santana's arm.
"I guess you've just always been easy for me."
"Hey!" Santana exclaimed, playfully hitting Brittany on the arm. Her girlfriend rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"Not like that. I just mean that you've always been easy for me to figure out. I don't even know why, but you are. It's like… okay this is gonna sound stupid, but you know when we watched The Wizard of Oz earlier?" Santana nodded, not quite sure where this was going. She had, despite much protest, been forced to watch The Wizard of Oz before her own choice of Bridesmaids, only agreeing after much whining and pouting from a certain blonde and promises that if she didn't love it, she would totally make it up to her later… So yeah, she had been convinced, and had to admit it wasn't as horrible as she expected. She actually kind of liked it.
"Yeah, and if you tell anyone I sat through that, I will kill you." Santana said with a mock glare but unable to hide her grin. Brittany laughed and squeezed her shoulders affectionately.
"I knew you'd like it!" She announced, flashing a smug smile. "Anyway, so you remember the flying monkeys in it?" Santana nodded again, humming contentedly as Brittany's fingers continued stroking her arm. "Well, no one fully appreciates how unique and awesome they are. Like, think about it. They're monkeys. That can fly. That's like the most awesomest combo ever." Santana smiled, always amazed by the wonderful ways in which the blonde's mind worked. "So in a way you're sort of like them. I mean, obviously way hotter, but 'cause you're so awesome, yet sometimes people don't see that. But maybe it's just because they're not looking in the right way… Does that make any sense at all?" A soft smile broke out across Santana's face as she nodded. She lifted her head to meet beautiful blue eyes looking down at her and mirroring the affection she knew was filling her own.
"Despite the fact that you just compared me to monkeys…" Santana began with a teasing smile. "That was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me." She looked down bashfully, her tanned fingers playing with slender, pale ones. Brittany placed her other hand under Santana's chin, lifting her head back up and attaching their lips together in a soft kiss. They broke apart and Brittany continued to look lovingly into her eyes.
"What?" Santana asked with a shy smile, feeling the colour heating her cheeks under the blonde's intense gaze.
"Nothing." Brittany shrugged, looking away and smiling. "I just love the little things you do that you don't even realise you're doing." Santana scrunched her face up and glanced back down to her fingers now fiddling with the hem of Brittany's shirt.
"Like what?" She asked in a small voice, unable to stop the shy smile tugging at her lips. Brittany tapped her on the nose with her finger and grinned down.
"Like the way your nose always crinkles and you look down whenever you're embarrassed." Santana rolled her eyes, trying to distract from the heat crawling up her cheeks. No one else ever noticed these kind of things about her. She wasn't used to being studied this closely, but she had to admit it was just another thing she loved about Brittany. "And the way I can make you blush so easily..." She added, causing Santana's cheeks to heat up even more. "It's hard to see 'cause you're so tanned," Brittany lifted her finger and brushed it softly over the Latina's hot cheek. "But if you look closely, it's there."
"What else?" Santana asked in a quiet voice, mesmerised by the way Brittany was now looking at her and by the sincerity of the words coming from her mouth.
"I love how cute you are first thing in the morning." Santana giggled and covered her face with her hands. "Like seriously, you act as if the world is ending when your alarm goes off."
"It is." Santana deadpanned, prodding a finger into Brittany's ribs and causing her to laugh.
"And your first words are always so croaky and never make any sense. It's adorable." Santana buried her face into the crook of Brittany's neck, hiding her flushed cheeks and muffling her embarrassed laughter. A small smirk then appeared on her face and she lifted her head to look at the blonde again.
"At least I don't talk in my sleep." Santana said around her grin. Brittany's eyes shot wide and she gasped dramatically.
"I do not!" She squealed. Santana simply laughed and nodded her head.
"You so do. Like, you have full on conversations with me sometimes." Brittany's eyes widened even further and she covered her face with her hands, much like Santana had done before.
"That is so embarrassing." She groaned. Santana pried Brittany's fingers away from her face and kissed them affectionately.
"Nope, it's cute." She watched the shy smile stretch across those perfectly pink lips. "You know when else you're cute?" Santana asked, smiling hard at how red Brittany's cheeks were becoming. The blushing blonde shook her head. "When you're confused or concentrating really hard on something, you always chew on your bottom lip and scrunch your eye-brows up like- yeah, like that!" Santana grinned and pointed at Brittany's face, which was indeed scrunched up in confusion. Her heart practically melted when Brittany attempted to look at her own expression by crossing her eyes. So freaking adorable. "You're also really cute when you get excited about something 'cause you start speaking really really fast and your voice goes all high-pitched and squeaky." Brittany laughed and rolled her eyes. "…And I love your laugh." Brittany's giggling softened into a smile at Santana's words. "Seriously, you can make me laugh just by laughing. I don't even need to know what you're laughing about, I'll just join in and try to figure it out later." She grinned as Brittany let out a soft chuckle and pulled her into a tight hug.
"I think I laugh the most when I'm around you." Brittany told the Latina snuggling into her side.
"Probably 'cause I'm such a dork all the time." Santana mumbled into Brittany's shoulder.
"Well there's that," She tapped her finger on her girlfriend's nose again, causing her to giggle. "But it's also 'cause you're my best friend." Santana smiled and lifted her head to rest her chin on Brittany's chest. "If there was a number one rule for being a best friend, it would be that everyone should be like you." Santana felt her lips stretch up into an enormous grin at her girlfriend's adorable words. "And 'always bring food.' That's an important one too." Santana laughed throatily and shook her head in amusement.
"You're my best friend too, Britt-Britt. Even if you're a dork." She leant forward and brushed her nose against Brittany's before kissing her softly. "Now speaking of food, we've run out of Reese's cups. And wine." Santana grinned before lifting herself off her girlfriend and standing up from the couch.
"God, it's like we're one mind." Brittany said, causing Santana to laugh as she headed into the kitchen. The Latina opened the door to the fridge in search of more wine, but had no luck. The only vaguely alcohol-looking thing she could see were three vodka bottles, each filled with a different coloured bright liquid. Little pebble-shaped things sat at the bottom which looked kind of like white skittles. Santana furrowed her eyebrows and shouted over her shoulder to Brittany still in the living room.
"Baby, what the hell are these?!" A few seconds later Santana felt arms slide around her waist and Brittany's chin rest on her shoulder.
"What are what?" Brittany asked, turning her head to place a kiss under Santana's jaw.
"These weird drinks." She answered, pointing to the bottles of red, green and yellow liquids. She felt Brittany smile against her.
"Skittles Vodka." She announced simply, causing Santana to chuckle and twist around in her arms. She quirked an eyebrow at her girlfriend who just rolled her eyes at her Santana's ignorance. "Skittles Vodka. You dissolve skittles in vodka and get all these cool colours. Plus it's delicious." Santana smiled at her girlfriend's quirkiness.
"I can't decide whether that sounds completely weird or totally awesome." She said and Brittany grinned.
"Awesome, definitely. It combines my third and fourth favourite things in life. Sweets and alcohol." Santana chuckled and wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck.
"And what are your first and second favourite things…?" Santana asked, a playful smile on her lips as she leaned up on her tip-toes so that her face was only a few centimetres from Brittany's.
"Well you're number one obviously…" She began, pressing a gentle kiss to Santana's lips. "And I'm sure we'll be doing the second one later…" Brittany smiled devilishly as she watched Santana's brown eyes darken with lust. She winked before detaching herself from her girlfriend and grabbing her phone from the counter. "Now I'm gonna run to the store and get us some more wine, okay?" Santana simply nodded, still caught a little off guard by the sudden change in tone and feeling her heart beating a little faster at the mere thought of later. "Choose the next film, I'll be back in a few." Brittany kissed her cheek before swiftly exiting the apartment, leaving Santana to plop back down on the couch, a new packet of peanut butter cups in hand.
After flicking through a few channels, Santana heard footsteps outside the door and the jangling of keys. She smiled and shook her head, knowing Brittany hadn't been gone long enough to get to the store and had probably forgotten her purse or something.
"Baby, did you forget somethi-" Her words got caught in her throat when she glanced up to find a blonde she wasn't expecting to see at all. Her smile immediately fell and she could feel her heart rate picking up. Oh god oh god. Quinn got halfway through the door and froze as she caught site of Santana on the couch, Reese's cups in hand and two discarded bottles of wine of the coffee table. Santana shifted uncomfortably in her seat and awkwardly fiddled with the packet she held in her lap. This could not be happening right now.
"Wow, I know things are weird between us, but breaking into my apartment and drowning yourself in alcohol? Really, Santana?" Anyone else would have passed this off for an attempt at lightening the mood, but Santana knew Quinn and she knew she wasn't trying to make small talk.
"Actually, I'm here with Britt. She's just gone to the store." Santana was surprised at how confidently the words escaped her mouth, because inside she was feeling anything but. She really didn't think she could deal with this right now. Quinn was the last person she wanted to see. She could feel the mixture of emotions boiling up inside her like they had been doing earlier that day – the anger, the worry, the hurt. She ran her fingers through her hair and could feel her hand trembling. She looked up when she heard the door shut and saw Quinn with her arms folded, staring back at her with that infuriatingly neutral expression.
"What are you doing, Quinn?" Santana's voice was still level and firm, but she was starting to feel vulnerable under Quinn's hazel stare. She watched as the blonde's lips curve up into a tiny smile, or maybe more of a grimace, she could never tell.
"This is my apartment, Santana." She replied simply, not moving from her spot by the door. Santana folded her arms to match Quinn's posture, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check and remain at least a little bit calm. "You're the one who's-"
"I don't mean here, Q." Santana interrupted, feeling the frustration and anger that had been building up beginning to boil their way to the surface. "I mean what are you doing? Why are you being like this?" Now that Quinn was here, Santana wasn't going to act normal and pretend like everything was fine. So it made her even more frustrated when Quinn's face remained seemingly unaffected by her words, that signature tight-lipped smile staying firmly in place.
"Being like what?" She asked with such an air of indifference that it made Santana want to slap her all over again. She stood up from the sofa, needing a less vulnerable position, and took a step towards the blonde.
"Oh I don't know, a total bitch?" She watched Quinn's lips curve upwards into a bigger smirk and felt her hands beginning to shake with anger. "An awful friend, and a damn right selfish person?" Quinn scoffed at her words. Like, actually fucking scoffed, and Santana could have lost it right then and gone all Lima Heights on her ass.
"Selfish?" Quinn repeated, the smile still playing at her lips but Santana could see she was trying to fight back anger. "You want to talk to me about being selfish, Santana? You're the one that's fucking our best friend and not thinking about anyone but yourself as usual. You're the one that's been sneaking around with my roommate, and didn't even have the courtesy to tell me until now."
"And what would you have done if I did tell you?" Santana countered, throwing her hands in the air with frustration. "Act like this? Tell me that I'm not good enough for her, like you have so many times before? Call me a fucking slut?"
"Oh I'm sorry you were offended when I called you a slut, Santana. I didn't realise it was a secret." She retorted with an amused tone, causing Santana to glare at her and take another threatening step forward.
"See, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you!" Santana was nearly shouting now; she could feel herself shaking with anger and she couldn't believe Quinn was still acting like this.
"Why? Because you were afraid I'd tell Brittany what you've really been like the past few years? Because you're terrified that if she knew that, she would never really love you back? You know that if Brittany had seen-" Quinn stopped herself when the front door suddenly opened and both girls turned to see Brittany walk in, a bottle of wine in each hand. Brittany's carefree smile faltered as she took in the scene in front of her. She glanced nervously from Santana to Quinn, then back to Santana again. Santana opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't think of anything that would ease the tension filling the room. Quinn beat her to it however, and muttered something about the fact that she was just leaving.
"No." Brittany said firmly, taking both Santana and Quinn slightly by surprise. "What were you saying about me?" Quinn looked at her for a second, before focusing her gaze back to the carpet.
"It's nothing, Brittany. I really don't have a problem with you. It's Santana that-"
"No." Brittany repeated, even more firmly this time as she closed the door behind her. "I want to know what you were saying about me." Santana felt a small sense of pride within her hearing Brittany stand up for herself like that. She also felt a tiny bit smug as she watched Quinn shuffle her feet awkwardly and run a hand through her hair, clearly not expecting Brittany to be so assertive. Brittany walked over, set the wine down on the coffee table and stood next to Santana, folding her arms too as she waited for Quinn's answer.
"I was saying…" Quinn began, taking a deep breath before regaining her composure and looking up to meet the two pairs of eyes staring back at her. "That if you knew the sort of person Santana was in high school, if you knew the real Santana, then you wouldn't-"
"I know the real Santana." Brittany said calmly, cutting Quinn off. Brittany turned to her right and smiled warmly at Santana. She continued, all the while holding her girlfriend's gaze. "She's the Santana that I loved when she was my best friend all those years ago, and the Santana that I love now." She looked back to Quinn. "She's still the same person, even if she got lost for a while, and I don't know why you're trying so hard to stop her from being that person." Santana let out a breath at her girlfriend's words, and looked at her adoringly. Trust her to be the one to remain calm in these kind of situations and say exactly what needed to be said.
"I'm not stopping her from doing anything." Quinn defended in her usual measured tone. "I just find it impossible to believe that someone can change so quickly. You came back into her life for what, like five minutes, and suddenly you expect me to believe that she's all sunshine and rainbows again?" Quinn's voice had now turned patronising and Santana could sense Brittany getting angry next to her. Quinn turned her attention back to the Latina before continuing. "Rachel and Kurt may be willing to forget about all your shit – hell, they've been sucking up to you since high school – but I'm not about to start doing that now. I'm the one that's dealt with you and your issues for as long as I can remember, and now suddenly I'm the bad person?" Santana could feel herself getting angry now. What the fuck was her problem?
"You know, it must suck being so bitter all the time, Quinn. You've never had an issue with my 'shit' before," Quinn scoffed at Santana's use of air quotes. "So what the hell's your problem now?"
"I'm not bitter, I just refuse to be as naïve as everyone else to think that you've so miraculously changed. And no, I didn't really have a problem with it before. Your sleeping around and 'I hate the world attitude' was all fun and games for a while, but it's not okay now when it affects one of my best friends. I'm not about to stand around and watch you walk all over Brittany like you have done to countless people since I've known you." Santana opened her mouth to defend herself but Brittany beat her to it.
"She's not walking all over me." She stated firmly, taking a step forward.
"Brittany, this really doesn't concern you." Quinn told her in her condescending tone.
"Actually it does concern me, Quinn. Santana is my girlfriend and I'm not going to let you talk to her like that, so I'm gonna need you to back off." Brittany said sternly, causing Santana to smile briefly before she saw Quinn's lips curve up into that unpleasant smirk.
"Oh, how sweet. Coming to your girlfriend's aid." She mocked with a petty laugh before turning back to Santana. "You know, you've really got her wrapped around your little finger, S. I guess I shouldn't be surprised." This time, Santana stepped forward, taking her position next to Brittany and glaring at Quinn.
"You know what, Fabray? I was going to try and take the high road here, but I'm not for one second going to let you undermine what Brittany and I have. I love her, more than I've ever loved anyone – actually, no. She's the only person I've ever loved, and I'm not going to allow you or anyone else to tell me that I shouldn't." Quinn stood there, speechless for a second, glancing between the two girls opposite her, before taking a deep breath and collecting herself once more.
"I just don't think Brittany should be dragged into whichever one of your games you're playing this time. You can't just use her to make yourself feel like a better person, and pretend like you're not still the same-"
"Look, it's not that I don't care, Quinn. Oh wait- yes, yes it is." Santana bit back sarcastically, finding her infamous attitude again. Quinn simply rolled her eyes.
"Very mature, Santana." She retorted condescendingly. Santana saw Brittany go to take a step forward, but she placed a hand on her elbow gently, stopping her movements.
"No, you know what? I wanted to care about your opinion, Q. I really did. I wanted you to be happy for me and accept that I was finally happy. But you're making it really fucking difficult." She moved her hand from Brittany's arm down to her hand and gripped it reassuringly. "So I don't care what you think. I love Brittany, and your opinion isn't going to change that. Come on, Britt, let's go to my place." Brittany smiled at her before squeezing her hand and leading them towards the door.
"No." Quinn said firmly, pausing the pair's movements as they looked over to her. Santana couldn't tell if Quinn looked upset, her head bowed down and her eyes shut tight, or simply frustrated. "I'm staying with a friend. I just came to get a change of clothes." With that, she walked out of the living room and into her bedroom. The two girls stood there silent for a moment, not quite knowing what to do. Santana could feel her heart racing from the adrenaline and her hands still shaking. She only finally let out a breath when Brittany brought their joined hands up to her lips and kisses her fingers gently, mouthing I love you before Quinn reappeared. Santana expected Quinn to say something, anything really, a snide comment at least, but she didn't. She simply strode past them, overnight bag in hand, and walked out the door, letting it slam behind her.
Brittany and Santana stood quietly for a few moments, each letting out a deep breath and letting what had just happened sink in. Santana didn't know how she felt. She was angered by Quinn's words, hurt that she still wasn't supportive of her relationship with Brittany and frustrated by her condescending tone. But she also felt strangely content. She was proud and touched by the way Brittany had stood up for the two of them, and couldn't help but feel increasingly less bothered by Quinn's opinion. As long as she had Brittany, everything else would be okay. That's how it had always been.
Santana was pulled from her thoughts by a gentle squeeze of Brittany's hand as her girlfriend gestured towards the couch. She let her lead her to the sofa where she slumped down and snuggled into Brittany's side, allowing comforting arms to wrap around her shoulders and hug her close.
"Are you okay?" Brittany's voice was soft and caring. Santana nodded into the crook of her neck. Surprisingly, she was okay.
"I am, thanks to you." Brittany smiled and placed a feather-light kiss to her hairline. "Thank you for standing up for me, for us." Santana spoke quietly, but her words were full of sincerity. Brittany traced her finger up and down Santana's arm in the way she knew always made her feel better.
"I will always stand up for us. And I'm so proud of you." Santana snuggled further into her side and let out a deep sigh, allowing Brittany's embrace to sooth her as it always had.
"I just wasn't going to let her talk about us like that, you know?" Brittany nodded and kissed her forehead again. "I just… I hate her saying those things, because none of them are true. She just doesn't get it." Santana sat up a little so she could look at Brittany properly. She took both her hands in hers and squeezed them softly as she tried to explain what she was feeling. "She doesn't get that the reason I was so lost was because I didn't have you. I lost a part of myself the day you moved away – the best part – and now I've finally got it back." Santana smiled as she watched Brittany's lips curving upwards and those blue eyes sparkling beautifully. "And Quinn just doesn't understand that. She's never had that with someone like the way I do with you. She's never had someone who can make you a better person just by being with you, and who can make you feel whole just by loving you." She brushed a single tear from Brittany's cheek before kissing it softly. "She just can't believe that I can change because she's still exactly the same person she was in high school. And thankfully I'm not." She added with a grin, causing Brittany to chuckle quietly. "And I don't ever want to be, because I have you." Brittany leaned in and captured her lips in a long, deep kiss. It was soft and passionate, and Santana felt as though it conveyed all of what Brittany was thinking and feeling. They broke apart and Brittany rested her forehead against Santana's.
"I love you." She whispered softly. "And nothing and no one's going to change that okay?" Santana nodded, letting the weight of those words sink in before reattaching their lips and kissing her girlfriend deeply.
…