There was nothing I could do to prepare, Pepper and I had to sit back and watch as the people we cared about readied themselves for war. The news bulletin shown every day at least five times a day seemed to work on the city. From my bedroom window, I watched as queues of people fled. There would be an accident from the panic, causing more problems for the police. And yet as people fled, we remained, bracing ourselves for war. There was dread in my heart.

Pepper and I were meant to keep hidden, safe in the Tower during the entire battle, safe with the S.H.I.E.L.D command team. I hated this suggestion but I couldn't argue, how could I join the battle? I was wounded; one false move and I could puncture a lung, die painfully.

The night before New Years Eve, dinner was very quiet, no one was sure what to say, we just knew that we'd be on the lookout for any approach. Afterwards, Tony and Pepper stayed in the main living space, wanting just an evening to themselves. Thor disappeared, and Natasha and Clint went off to the command room, making last preparations. Bruce went away to the lab again, strangely the only place he felt at ease. Steve had to talk to Fury about something so I was left to wander the empty Stark Tower, exploring every floor, through the abandoned offices, disrupting the silence of the place.

Floor by floor, I went up and up until I reached the roof, the Avengers Jet had been replaced for a brief time with a smaller model, with not as many features as theirs. The wind was cold and harsh, I pulled my jacket tighter around me, and heading for the opposite end of the roof. The city was still quite lit up even after most of the residents had left, it looked beautiful at night.

Surprised, I found Thor as I reached the other side, sitting with his legs dangling over the edge of the Tower, lost in thought. Taking a seat next to him, I stared out across the city I was really coming to love. He glanced at me, and then returned his gaze to the magic that seemed to radiate from the modern city. He didn't speak, seeming to think over his words.

"We're in trouble." I sighed, putting my hands into my pockets.

He ran a hand over his temple and frowned, "We are."

"Loki is…becoming a personal issue."

Pensive silence. I brought my hood up to shield my face as a strong breeze brushed by, his hair shifted lightly. "I don't want to kill him, Kim. I can't kill him." I watched his face, the pain consuming it, his brow furrowing and tears sparkling in his blue eyes.

My face felt stiff as I fought back the anger, the hurt, the hopelessness, "Neither can I."

"But what else can we do? He has fooled us more than once; his power is greater than ever before… Even in Asgard, we cannot seem to imprison him. I don't want him to hurt anymore people but I-" he took in a shaky breath, "Even after all that has happened I don't hate Loki." I put my hand on his arm reassuringly and he looked at me.

"I know," I spoke slowly and deliberately, "He is your brother and he was my friend. I told him my life story and even though he was being Terry, everything he said… they were still Loki's words. He chose them; he meant them, even if at the time he didn't want to. Thor, I don't want to see him dead but I want to see him defeated. The others aren't in the same mind set as us, we know him."

"Yes, but one difference between us is Loki wants you in his life." My eyes widened by this, in shock. I knew it was true but I just wished that Thor hadn't said it, because I knew what it was doing to him, trying to fight for an entire planets' life from a force he wanted to save too.

"What are we going to do?" I leaned my head on his shoulder and stayed beside him in silence for a long time.

New Years Eve, it was early morning and I was pretty sure none of us slept. Pepper and I sat in the command room, the Avengers stood waiting for the alert that Loki was coming. The army were down on the streets, tanks waiting intimidatingly. I sat in one of the unused chairs, staring off absently. I had no plan of joining this battle; no plan of heroic action came to mind.

Bruce had manufactured more vests and had given them to all the S.H.I.E.L.D staff present. The agents guarding the two prisoners remained with them, intent on keeping them as our prisoners; they were also given the vests. The others had theirs on under their uniforms; they were, familiarly, checking their weapons. I was terrified for Hulk, not because of him but for the fact that I wouldn't see Bruce's reassuring face for a while.

Steve adjusted the shield on his arm and wandered over, kneeling in front of me. He touched my hand and finally he got eye contact. Impulsively, I flung my arms around his neck and clung to him protectively. He hugged me gently, "Be careful, your ribs." He said in a hushed soothing voice.

"I'm not gonna let him have me." I whispered.

He pushed away from me to see my face, hands firmly on my arms, "I won't let him… don't do anything stupid."

"What like sneak onto the mission and get the crap kicked out of me by Loki's followers?"

"Something like that, I was thinking more on the lines of moving around too much or puncturing your lungs."

"Well, some things can't be helped." I pulled on his hood, fixing his Captain mask on properly and smoothing it down, caressing his cheeks with my thumbs, "Whatever happens Steve, don't blame yourself. It'll always come down to my decision and the bloody choices I make in this mind." I kissed him desperately, wrapping my arms around his neck again. Returning it, controlling my lips so that it became gentle and soft. I fought not to let out a sob, but instead, with a quivering lip, we pulled apart, struggling to let his body leave my touch.

"You'll make me proud," he smiled crookedly, "Whatever decision; I won't ever hate you for it."

There was crackling and one of the radios from down with the army yelled through the system, "They're coming, from all sides, get down here!" and everyone jumped into action, Steve glancing back at me before leading them away.

Gone. For all Pepper and I knew, we wouldn't see them again. Fury made us put on one of Bruce's protective vests too and we just waited, both feeling sick to our stomachs, not wanting to think let alone converse about what was happening.

The distant sounds of tanks shooting the bombs off made me shift in my chair uncomfortably, the command team shouting down their communication head pieces, surveying their computers, watching from the windows. I put a hand over my mouth and shut my eyes tight, not able to focus on any word they said.