Soryu Tape #02
I've reached a sort of rhythm in my sessions with Asuka. I ask questions to her, she asks questions back, we play a game...I've been teaching her cribbage, and I'm shocked to say she's picked up on it quickly. I may or may not currently owe her a good deal of money. Hopefully an IOU will suffice for the time being.
(laughs)
She doesn't divulge much. She talks about her piloting skills, how hard she's pushed herself to get here. She complains about Shinji, and how 'beneath her' she finds him. She prattles on incessantly on 'her Kaji', over and over. Mostly she just talks without a filter. Everything except the heavy stuff. Which is about what I expected.
The Kaji she keeps talking about is, I'm assuming, Ryoji Kaji, our other recent arrival. He is...well, I'm not exactly sure WHAT he does for NERV, truth be told. But he's friendly enough, even if he seems...quite off. Asuka stayed with him for a while, and, well...I shudder to think what kind of ideas he put into her head.
Apparently he and our dear Captain used to be a thing. Somehow, the idea doesn't surprise me as much as it probably should.
Back to Asuka...staying with Kaji apparently put some delusions of grandeur in her brain. Fourteen-years-old and already ready to bed the man, for God's sakes. She's far too young to be having such ideas. And even if she WERE allowed to have those ideas, it certainly should not be about someone who's old enough to be her bloody father.
Kids today. So eager to grow up. What kind of world have we left them?
(sigh)
Asuka gets attached very easily, it seems, and yet at the same time does her damnedest not to let me or anyone else around here in. Very conflicting. She wants to be loved, but she'd rather be alone. It's like she's at war with herself.
Early diagnosis...judging by her history and her desire to prove herself, I'd say she's developed a bit of an inferiority complex. She always has to be the best, even in things she shouldn't HAVE to be the best. It may be her feeling she has to prove herself to a mother who committed suicide. It might also be that she's trying to fill that hole with Kaji, the same way someone his age would do...
All in all, it reeks of a girl who is too eager to grow up in a world where it's better that she remain a child as long as she can. It doesn't help that that attitude is encouraged around here...
Well, at least she can come here and be as young as she likes...even if sometimes she yells very loudly...it DOES hurt my ears, I won't lie.
End recording.