Woooo! I finally had time to go to the library! Thanks for all the support, guys, I really appreciate it! I really didn't expect reviews to an author's note, but I guess you guys are great like that! ^_^
Okay, no more holdup. Hope you like!
I don't own Bleach. If I did, I wouldn't have taken a two week break like Kubo. What the heck? I need my weekly Bleach!
Karin's eyes popped open. It was dark, the moonlight coming through her window doing nothing to pierce the blackness. She turned her head, barely making out Yuzu's sleeping form in the darkness.
Suddenly, before she could even process why she was awake, a sharp pain went through her head, momentarily blinding her. She clutched her head in an effort to suppress the pain, but just as suddenly it was gone. Slightly scared, Karin laid perfectly still, willing the pain not to return. For a few moments, everything felt normal. Then, she was overcome by a wave of nausea. She scrambled out of the futon, barely making it to the bathroom before all of her dinner came back up.
She heaved violently, the force bringing tears to her eyes, holding on to the toilet for dear life. She didn't know how long she was there, her stomach contracting painfully, and it wasn't until a lull in the spasms that she noticed the cool hands touching her neck, holding her hair securely out of the way.
Karin turned slightly, catching a flash of his eyes before the bile crept up her throat again.
There was nothing left in her stomach now, but Hitsugaya wordlessly continued to hold her hair while she dry heaved. Finally, when she thought she couldn't handle any more, her body was silent. Exhausted, she rested her head on the cool porcelain.
Hitsugaya walked into the bathroom, handing her a glass of water. She hadn't noticed when he had left. Grateful, Karin took a big swig, swishing the water around her mouth to get rid of the nasty taste in her mouth. She spit it out.
"So." He was leaning against a wall, watching her gulp down the rest of the water.
Karin finally met his eyes again. "How long have you been here?"
"Pretty much since the beginning." He reached for the glass, filling it up with more water from the sink and handing it back to her.
Her gaze shifted to the glass in her hands guiltily. "Did I wake you?"
"No. I couldn't sleep."
She nodded slightly, sipping on the water.
"Do you feel better?" he asked. "I can take you to Fourth Division. Unohana-taicho can give you something."
She glanced at him again. His looked the way he always did, face impassive with a slight scowl, but now she could identify the worry in his eyes. "You...really like watermelon," she finally said.
Hitsugaya's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean, really like watermelon," she insisted. "I didn't believe how much until you ate four of them by yourself that one summer."
He was still looking at her strangely.
"When I was five," Karin continued, "I fell off of a swing and broke my arm. It hurt like hell, but I didn't cry at all. Yuzu cried enough for the both of us." She paused. "I thought that I was pretty badass with that cast."
Hitsugaya walked over to her. "So," he said slowly, "you remember."
She remembered the two of them, lying on the roof of her house and looking at the stars. She remembered the snowball fights her family would have in the wintertime. She remembered Ichigo and Rukia, sneaking kisses when they thought no one was looking.
But most of all, she remembered her love for him, and the pain that came along with it.
"It was probably your family," Hitsugaya hypothesized. "They sparked your memory, but it was a little much and your subconscious overloaded." He paused. "Either way, I want you to get checked out."
"It can wait until the morning, Toshiro." She gulped down the rest of the water, setting the glass on the counter and stepping around Hitsugaya and into the hallway.
"Where are you going?" He was behind her, whispering in the dark.
"I need time to think." She walked into the entry room, turning on a lamp and picking up the soccer ball that she had left on the floor the night before. "I need to straighten things out."
He nodded slightly, seemingly processing. "It's late. I'll come with you."
"No." No, he wouldn't help her thinking at all. If anything, his presence would cause her mind to become even more jumbled. "I need to be alone."
"Karin--"
"I'm Kurosaki Karin." It felt good to say, because before she had had the name, but not the life behind it. Now she had both. "I have made lesser criminals shit their pants. Besides, what lunatic would mess with a Kurosaki? I'll be fine."
She could see it in his eyes. He was willing to fight her on this. Hitsugaya was as stubborn, if not more so, than she. She knew he would probably let her go out alone, but then follow her, hiding his reiatsu.
"Don't." She could hear it, the desperation in her own voice. She must have looked pretty pitiful, because Hitsugaya took a step back in defeat.
Karin opened the door, the cool wind ruffling her hair. "I'll be back," she promised quietly. She felt his cool gaze on the back of her head, but she did not turn around, choosing instead to take his silence as affirmation. Karin walked into the night, shutting the door firmly behind her.
She must have played for hours.
She had automatically walked to the field where she and Hitsugaya frequently played, near the edge of the Ninth Division, and was reminded too much of him. She quickly turned around and went in the opposite direction, ending up somewhere in Eleventh.
It looked like the field she was in used to be something else, like a building, but something or someone had knocked it down, leaving one long wall and a barren field with minimal grass. Karin didn't care. It served her purposes, and she kicked the ball, repeatedly and violently, into the wall.
She enjoyed burning in her lungs, the feeling of sweat as it dripped down her body, the fire in her legs. Now that she remembered her life before she died, she knew that she had always been that way. Soccer heightened her senses, forced her body to its limit. And, most of all, it helped her focus.
A few hours of running around and she was much more calm, much more aware.
She had loved Hitsugaya Toshiro since she was twelve. Also since she was twelve, he had been giving her mixed signals. It was at her brother's wedding that she decided to give up on Hitsugaya, and that was also the day she was hit by a car.
Karin laughed humorlessly. She had never dreamed she would die in such a lame way! Being kidnapped and killed for refusing to give out top secret information? Karin-esque. Getting publicly dumped and then run over by some old lady who probably didn't realize that she hit something? Not so much.
A giggling could be heard in her head, a familiar melodic voice. Karin stopped dribbling the ball, wondering if it was a figment of her imagination or if she was officially going insane.
"It's just me, silly."
Okay, she was officially going insane.
"You're not crazy. It's me."
Oh. Fennikusu, her zanpakuto. She had forgotten about her amidst the drama that was becoming her life.
"How could you forget about me? I am you. You are me."
"I'm sorry," she thought, finding it strange to have a conversation with herself. "I just remembered who I was before I died. Give me a break."
There was another elated giggle. "And now you're playing soccer to try not to think about him? Why would you want to do that?"
"Because I remember that I had decided to give up on him, and why, and I'm starting to think that I was right the first time."
The giggling stopped. Her head was silent. Then, "what?"
"He's no good for me. It's not worth it."
Silence again. Then, Fennikusu responded, so quietly that she sounded far away.
"You don't know what's good for you."
"I think that I do," Karin said out loud. "And he is clearly not it."
She waited for the zanpakuto's retort, but nothing came.
"Oh, so now you're not talking to me? How old are we?!"
"What are you doing?" a voice asked from behind her. Karin jumped, surprised, and turned around.
She was met by a little girl, who looked no older than ten. Her shoulder-length hair was cotton candy pink, and her chocolate brown eyes looked at Karin questioningly.
Karin inwardly sighed, slightly embarrassed. "I was playing soccer."
The girl grinned. "Ooo! I love games!"
Karin forced a smile. "It's late. What are you doing out here?"
The girl visibly brightened. "I was at Byakushi's house! We had a tea party, but then he told me to go home, and I didn't want to, so I ran and hid! It was like hide and seek. But Byakushi gave up, and that was no fun, so now I'm going home!"
Karin nodded feebly as the words rushed out of the girl's mouth. It was as if they couldn't get out of there fast enough.
"Hey!" the girl interrupted herself. "You're Whitey-chan's girlfriend! I remember, because I saw the picture in his office once. He wouldn't come out to play with me. Whitey-chan is so grumpy sometimes."
Hitsugaya again. The guy just couldn't leave her be! "That's Hinamori Momo. I'm Kurosaki Karin."
The girl's face scrunched up. "No, it wasn't Bun-head, it was you. Whitey-chan was looking at the picture, and then he noticed me and put it in a drawer. Big Booby later told me it was his girlfriend from the human world."
She had no idea how long ago this was, but at this point Karin didn't care. She was mentally tired.
"Hey, did you say Kurosaki?" the girl squealed. "Does that mean you're Ichi's sister?"
Karin nodded slightly.
The girl giggled. "I love Ichi! Ken-chan always has so much fun when he visits!"
The girl's peppiness was ruining Karin's sour mood. "I have to get going now, it's really late. You'll make it home okay?"
The girl laughed. "Of course! See you later, Ichishiro!"
Karin blinked at the name, but didn't bother correcting her. She turned in the direction of Tenth Division and started walking.
A/N: What'd you think? Let me know. ^_^