XXI. Meet Me
She walks slowly away from the graveside, following Flora and Rosalie who are talking quietly as they go. Another six buried in the cemetery in the nearby fields, and more pouring in every day from the ambulances that shuttle them from the hospital trains. She has taken to attending the funerals whenever she can, because usually there aren't enough people to fill even one side of a grave. But these six are officers – high-ranking ones – and this warrants as many of the surgeons and nurses as can be spared to pay their respects.
It was a simple, beautiful service, in the open air surrounded by the autumn birds chirping from the trees and swooping overhead in the cerulean sky. She can't help but be reminded of when her father died, when she was eight, but that affair was full of people in black like crows and her mother dabbing her tissue against her eyes and leaning on Kitty's older brother's arm. She had just been ignored by everyone – too young to take any notice of. Her father hadn't made much of her when he was living, so no-one particularly bothered when he was dead.
They're just queuing up at the mess for breakfast when a very familiar voice speaks next to her ear. "Do you have free time this afternoon?"
"We all do," she says quietly, making sure that none of the soldiers who are going back up the line tonight can hear her.
Over the past two weeks with a large number of men coming in with trench-fever: headaches, rashes, stabbing pains and between nursing them, being on the wards, looking after the surgical patients and running around doing Sister Quayle's bidding – if anything, she has become even more irritating than usual to everyone except Rosalie – Kitty has had to content herself with secret half-smiles across the mess and bumping into Captain Gillan 'accidentally' in the store cupboard. Though he's insisting that Captain Gillan is too formal – his Christian name is Thomas though she already knows that from hearing Miles call for him across the hospital.
"But do you have any plans?" His warm breath tickles her ear slightly, and she looks around as though she's not talking to him at all.
When she's sure no-one who might be interested is looking, she whispers back, "I thought I could tidy the tent a bit, perhaps do some darning."
She risks a glance over her shoulder at him, and he half-laughs, half-snorts.
"Would you meet me?"
Her heart leaps into her mouth. She knows she shouldn't encourage him – she knows that she's still damaged goods, an adulteress haunted by what her husband did to her and the loss of her child – but she has forgotten what falling for someone feels like. And now, well, there's no spectre of a husband looming over her shoulder, no-one to think about but herself, and why not? She's a young woman – she's not going to live her life in solitude because of what happened in the past.
"Yes," she says softly. "Where?"
"I didn't have much thought beyond asking the question. The woods? At about two?"
She nods, and behind her, she knows that he's smiling.
In actual fact, it is his turn to be offered a pass to the local town – to spend time have a proper bath and getting rid of the ever-present dirt that clings to absolutely everyone at the hospital as a side-effect of tent life, or indulging in food ten times better than that of the mess. But having time off is rare, and having it off at the same time as the VADs is practically a blue moon, and in any case, being able to meet Kitty – she has practically demanded that he call her that – is far more important. The hotel can wait until next month.
But he knows of someone who could use it more than he can, and after breakfast as he approaches the tent, Miles is straightening his tie and positively beaming like a cat that got the cream.
"I could kiss you," he says as Thomas ducks under the tent flap.
"Please don't," he replies dryly, and Miles laughs.
"God knows why you want to give up your pass, but I'm not complaining."
As a matter of fact, Thomas is thanking God that Miles doesn't know the reason why. If he did, Thomas wouldn't hear the end of it for weeks.
"I leave a dispirited man, broken by despair, and return with renewed optimism and vigour."
"Most likely you'll return with a dose of the pox. You'll be sweating mercury for weeks and I will not brook any complaining."
"Small price to pay," Miles grins at him, straightening his hat. "What are you going to do, now that you've given up your pass?"
"Tidy the tent," Thomas echoes Kitty's words from earlier. "Perhaps I'll do some darning."
"You won't put that one past me – I've seen your attempts at sewing. They look like a drunken ant has stumbled across your shirt."
Thomas snorts in amusement. "Go on, you're wasting time. Piss off."
Miles laughs and disappears out. Thomas sits down onto his bed, checking his watch. An hour to go. Only an hour.
"Stop loitering, Trevelyan. Go and wash these," Sister Quayle orders as she passes Kitty on the boardwalk, dropping a basket of sheets and dirty bandages into her arms.
"Yes, Sister," Kitty says, trying to keep her tone as neutral as possible. Odious woman. But the laundry is usually deserted and it won't take long to dump these in a pail of boiling water and disinfectant and hang them out to dry. Then it's out to the woods…to meet Thomas…her stomach flips at the thought. It's been such a long time since she met someone – the secrecy of it all thrills through her. She knows that – technically she is not supposed to be 'courted' by any of the men, officer or patient alike, but the rules can always be bent and she understands that as long as they are discreet, there won't be any trouble.
The laundry, however, is not deserted and she sees Flora bent over a pail of water, pinching her cheeks and biting her lip to make them red. She stifles a laugh – she's not the only one who is thinking about someone.
"I wonder what ward you might be going to," Kitty says as she puts the basket down behind Flora, who straightens up immediately and tries to look innocent. It doesn't work. "Let me guess…"
"I don't know what you mean," Flora says, a giggle in her voice.
"He likes you too," Kitty says. She's seen the way the young private's eyes follow Flora, has seen the way he blushes when she's near and the way his friends rib him when she goes out of earshot.
"Really?" Flora drops all pretences, looking so hopeful that Kitty has to smile. "No, he doesn't. He never even looks at me, how could he like me? And anyway, we're not supposed to get sweet on any of the boys."
"There's a lot of things we're not supposed to do," Kitty shrugs.
"Do you really think he might like me a little?"
Kitty is about to reply when the stern voice of Matron bursts their bubble of privacy. "Are you prattling, Marshall?"
"No, Matron."
Matron has not softened towards Flora at all in the past two and a half months and now, her steely gaze rakes up towards Flora's headdress, which is, as always, wonky. "Your uniform is incorrect, Marshall, how many times do I have to tell you?"
Kitty turns and begins to wash the sheets Sister Quayle had given her, so that she too cannot be accused of slacking. She hears Flora's feet click off down the boardwalk, and expects that Matron will go soon, but she doesn't.
"Do you know of a Mr Elliott Vincent?"
Kitty freezes, shock coiling in the pit of her stomach like snakes. How…how did Elliott find her here, he didn't know she had volunteered, he was supposed to leave her alone!
"I do, Matron," she forces out, turning to face her. "Why?"
"Because this has come from Headquarters. It's not so much a request as a command – clearly Mr Vincent has some influence. He's insisted that you meet him in town today."
Kitty takes the proffered piece of paper, reading it quickly. It is an order, she knows what he's like. He's masked it with polite words for the sake of those who had seen it before her, but she knows she has to go and she doesn't want to because she was going to meet Thomas and fear is making her heart beat faster because when she ran away she was going to become invisible and never have to face him again…
"Is he a relative?"
A noise of assent is all Kitty can manage.
"Someone who could aid you with your family situation - in regards to your child?"
"Potentially." She hadn't thought of that – if he's here, perhaps her darling Sylvie is, maybe she'll see her daughter again – it's a slim chance, but one she's willing to take.
"If you're at the entrance by two o'clock, there may be a lift for you," Matron says, taking the piece of paper from Kitty's hands and turning away.
Two o'clock – that's in fifteen minutes time – only long enough to change, not long enough to get word to Thomas…she could tell one of the other girls to pass on a message, but they're both on the wards and unlikely to see him and she doesn't want them knowing, not yet, at least…
What is she going to do?
A/N Okay, guys...if you can get me to 100 reviews this chapter, then I will post the next one - a big moment - tomorrow morning, as early as I can wake up! Thank you to Ani, anon, and the Guest reviewers - I'm really glad you like my story. And on a side note, any requests post-series or between episodes 5 and 6 are very, very welcome!