Like... Read my InuHime fic because why not?
Enjoy!
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Black and Purple Don't Mix #21
Hinata focused on breathing, keeping her eyes fixated on anything but his eyes. Her position had changed slightly, and she occupied the space that was Sasuke's lap, facing him.
He liked to look at her.
Up close.
She thought about their position—only because avoiding it would cloud her vision—and waited for this to end.
Needless to say, this wasn't the first time. Sasuke had this new fascination with her after she had changed the dynamics between them, and he would stare at her.
Just stare.
It didn't happen often, but it always happened after he gave her a smoldering look she was sure was going to result in something sexual. Maybe he was trying to restrain himself, but she was never sure how she felt about it. She felt like a strange concept more than a tangible person or even a treasured belonging when they were like this.
He was just so...strange.
Hinata blinked rapidly, exhaling a much needed breath, and wondered what to do with her hands. Beside her, she felt exposed. Behind her, more so. In front of her, the image of them being cradled between their bodies made her nervous, so she alternated between placing them on the sofa head or Sasuke's shoulders, which did little to ease her mounting anxiety.
Glancing at him, she was assaulted by his piercing, dark eyes. She didn't recoil because he was looking at her without seeing her; he was thinking of something, but he had to keep looking at her to keep the thought alive.
Sasuke couldn't explain it, but Hinata...wasn't real. But she was real, which confused him sometimes. When he looked at her like this, he couldn't easily find a fault within her. She was, in a word, perfect. Her skin was smooth and virtually flawless. Her long flowing hair had a consistent shine and luster no matter how he looked at it. Her eyes were endlessly white as his were void and dark.
And sometimes she would say something off the wall, and it was unreal.
He reached a hand up to her, cupping the side of her face, tracing her lips with his thumb.
He wanted to hit her. He still didn't know why, sexual frustration aside.
At first, he wanted to hurt her merely because he had the whim to do so, and it was what got him going at the time. Then, it was because she frustrated him to no end. Now...he just wanted to, but he didn't actually do it because he didn't want to deal with the looks of shock, fear, and pain. If he could hit her without her expression changing, that would be ideal.
And maybe he wanted to alter her perfection a bit.
He wanted to make her real.
Hinata breathed deeply, feeling his hand slip under her shirt and begin to massage her hips. Sasuke had a rough touch. He gripped and pressed too hard, but she suspected this was his attempt at being gentle. He adjusted the pressure when she showed discomfort, at least.
She...wasn't opposed to when he was like this. He didn't speak, so he wasn't saying things that made her cringe. He may have stared at her with looks she couldn't decipher, but it was better than the contempt and irrational anger he bestowed after seeing her with one of the close male figures in her life.
Jealousy...
She tried not to shudder as his hand ran up and down her back. Her recovery had been gradual but evident thanks to her family's medical ninja and her family's medicine. Sasuke had assessed the progress almost every day with the way he felt her smooth skin returning. It used to nauseate her, his mindless ministrations, but after he had once unintentionally unhooked her bra, it filled her with...anticipation? He had only ever touched her breasts through her bra, and when he had the chance to indulge himself, he didn't.
She had been relieved and puzzled.
Strangely puzzled.
She thought of it to this day, so it only supported his phenomena-like tendencies.
When Sasuke's hands began to work at her sides, kneading, rubbing, and twisting, Hinata swallowed hard, mixed with repulsion and attraction. Having feelings for Sasuke didn't mean she was fully attracted to him.
Sexually, anyway.
She liked it when he touched her, but when it ended, she would hate it—much like her emotions toward Sasuke himself. In his company, when he was like this, she was tolerable, but once she went home, she felt violated. She liked the idea of being courted. She dreamed of getting to know the person she was with, but Sasuke had skipped all that.
He must have done all the courting in his head.
She was alert when Sasuke shuddered by the smallest degree. Looking back into those abysmal eyes, she noticed his breathing had deepened. She reddened, pushing hair away from her face, but ended up covering her face instead, her head bowing. She never got used to this part. They were too intimate, but she was starting to crave his touch, but she was afraid how much things would change if she told him that.
Would he be more forward with her?
Would he care if she wanted more from him than just physical intimacy?
If Sasuke suddenly got bored with her, what would she do? If she still craved these sensations, what would happen to her? What would she become? What was she actually craving?
"Sasuke," she said, nervous, "I..."
He stared at her, really seeing her, really listening.
"I... I'm so confused," she whimpered, eyes stinging.
He tilted his head, taking her hand away. "Can't be helped."
"I... I have to leave soon."
"Soon. Not now." He tugged her hair lightly, still too rough.
She hesitated, leaned forward, then hesitated again. "Can you... Can we take it slow...this time?"
He stared at her for an unreadable second. "Why?"
"Because... I...want—"
"—us to take our time."
"—want to." She looked away when he huffed in veiled amusement. "It's just-"
"Show me."
Hinata's face took on more heat. Take the lead, is what he was saying. "L-lights?"
He closed his eyes but she could see him rolling them. "Keep the door open."
She climbed off his lap and shakily walked over to the light switch, flicking it off. When she felt her way back over to him, she clumsily climbed back in place. She could still see his features a little too well, but it was better.
"Show me," he said again, his roaming hands shaking with hormonal impatience.
"...Okay." She leaned forward, her breaths coming out in premature pants, one hand running timid paths through his hair. "O...kay."
o0o0o
Sasuke lied on his back, panting in the near darkness. His eyes trailed to the door just in time to see Hinata exit. He groaned, half his body hanging off the side of the sofa.
Such a tease.
He shuddered, irritated by the new wave of pleasure that would get no release. At least not by her.
"Fucking tease," he grumbled.
o0o0o
Hinata walked through the field, straightening her clothes and smoothing out her hair.
The air became thin, her world spinning as she made her way home. She wiped her mouth repeatedly, wanting nothing more than to forget the feeling of him for just a moment, but he was everywhere. His hands were still gripping her thighs. His lips were still pressed against her lips, her face, her neck. His teeth still nipped at her—always bordering more on pain than pleasure.
She had been too consumed.
Before she realized it, she was feverishly sending kisses down his neck, and she touched him. He must have made her touch him because her hands only remembered the fabric of the sofa and the softness of his hair. When she felt the fabric of his pants...
She had to get out of there.
Her mind was reeling, and she suddenly didn't know what was going on anymore. She was repulsed but she was aroused, but she wanted to test the boundaries a little more but she wanted him to vanish forever, but... She couldn't take it.
She couldn't take him.
She couldn't take this.
She couldn't take wanting more.
"Hinata?"
She blinked, realizing she was crouched on the forest floor, her arms wrapped around her, breath held. She exhaled, trying to even her breathing for the four people walking her way. "Welcome...back."
Neji knelt next to her, moving hair out of her face. "What's wrong?"
"...Cramps."
"I see." He looked at Tenten uncomfortably; she shrugged apologetically. "I'm...sorry to hear that."
Hinata laughed, breathing heavily. "I'm fine." She stood, as did Neji. She looked at his remaining team, smiling awkwardly. "How was the mission?"
"Fantastic!" both Lee and Gai said, grinning and sporting a thumbs up.
"It lasted longer than it needed to," Tenten added, sighing. "Let's just report to Tsunade-sama and go home." She looked at Neji. "Maybe...you should take Hinata home, though."
Hinata shook her head. "I'll go with all of you."
"Are you sure?" Tenten asked. "You're not, um, hurting too much?"
Hinata blushed, cracking her knuckles at her sides. "N-not if I don't think about it..."
When they got to the Hokage's office, Hinata waited outside, a few feet away from the guards. Neji and his team had (unintentionally) made it a habit to return to the village at night, and Hinata found she liked the Hokage Tower better at this time. It looked bigger, more secure. There weren't people rushing back and forth, and everything creaked with serene wholeness.
She felt safe here.
The door to the Hokage's office opened, and Hinata wished she hadn't looked up. She turned down the hall, intending to walk just a few feet away.
"Hey."
She slowed to a stop, exhaling quietly.
"...Hinata?"
She turned, conflicted by how neutral she felt. "Yes?"
Naruto took note of her tone. It's been like this for months now. Every attempt he made to talk to her, her mood would change; she became annoyed. "Uh... Never mind." He grinned, feeling out of place. "See ya."
Hinata watched him leave, running one hand through her hair. The air was thick, and her body was breaking out in nauseating waves of heat.
She didn't like how her feelings for Naruto were fading.
The Next Day
"Uh... Hey," Kiba panted, staggering on his feet. "You want to take a break?"
Hinata stood across from him in her fighting stance, Byakugan blaring. Her head tilted once she noticed her teammate's tired appearance. "Are you okay?"
"Great, Hinata!" Kiba laughed, losing more oxygen than he would let on. "I'm just- It's just good to not kill me- To catch a breather!"
"Oh... Okay." She turned her attention. "Shino, do you want to spar again?"
The bug user sat under a tree, turned away from them. "My colony needs time to recover," he mumbled.
Hinata rubbed her arm, deactivating her Byakugan. She supposed they had been training all morning. Akamaru approached her, licking her face, and allowed her to climb on top of him. He ventured around the Training Grounds leisurely; Hinata steadily leaned forward to lie down, closing her eyes.
"Man." Kiba walked over to Shino. "She's trying to steal him, isn't she?"
"Akamaru caters to the alpha."
"What? I'm his owner."
"But right now you are no longer the alpha."
Kiba crossed his arms, leaning against the tree. He watched Akamaru. "He seems to be comforting her, if you ask me."
"Comfort?" Shino lifted his head. "What for?"
Kiba shrugged. "She's been...training a lot."
"Yes."
"You don't sense anything wrong with that?"
"With wanting to get stronger?" Shino questioned. "No. But perhaps she is trying to escape from something."
Kiba frowned. "Any idea what it is?"
Shino shifted for a moment. "Afraid not."
"Really?" Kiba looked down at him. "I thought you were...her go to guy with that kinda stuff."
Shino shrugged, adjusting his shades. "Not this time."
Kiba dropped the subject, returning his gaze back to the pair. Hinata had been a bit different, but it only seemed to enhance her strength and self-reliance. He wondered if that bothered Shino. Kiba himself would be lying if he said it didn't bother him. Her growth was not the issue, but her independence was. She was...distancing herself almost. She didn't smile as much, and her laughing was even more rare.
She was becoming like her family.
Not to mention her unusual fatigue.
Kiba whistled, signaling Akamaru; the over-sized dog eventually made his way over to him. "She asleep?"
Akamaru grumbled, flicking his snout back at the unconscious girl. Kiba frowned, walking over to Hinata. Her face had more color to it than usual, and a light layer of sweat covered her. His first thought had been she was worn out from training, but her immediate slumber may have hinted at something else. He stepped closer, sniffing from her neck up.
He turned to Shino. "I think she's really sick."
Shino looked over his shoulder for a moment before getting to his feet. He joined his teammates and placed a hand on Hinata's forehead; a few insects seeped from his sleeve, crawling to varying spots on her face.
"Dude." Kiba cringed. "There are normal ways."
"But this is a more efficient one." His insects were stationary for a minute before crawling back into his coat. "She has the beginning signs of a most unusual fever."
"Unusual?"
"Yes." Shino withdrew his hand. "She has either come into contact with a disease foreign to Konoha, or she has been exposed to some kind of poison."
Kiba looked at him quizzically. "You don't seem to be all that worried."
"As I said, these are the beginning signs. She just needs medical treatment at this point."
Kiba sighed, rubbing the back of his head then crossing his arms. "What the heck is she messing with these days?"
Hinata awoke feeling a weight indented into the space next to her. Something cool and damp was placed on her forehead, followed by a disheartened sigh. When she opened her eyes, she discovered she was in her room. The lighting had a deep orange glow, and she could vaguely hear the low cacophony of the insects outside. Someone was sitting next to her. Judging by the familiar presence, it had to be Kō.
"Are you awake, Hinata?" His voice was low, comforting. Hinata found her eyes closing again.
"Yes," she responded.
"That's good to know. You've been asleep all day."
"Mm... I was training..."
"Yes, and then you fell unconscious. Shino and Kiba brought you home. It seems you're a little unwell."
"I'm...tired."
"That should be the medicine working."
"Hm... I don't...want any..."
He laughed softly, patting her cheeks with another damp rag. "Go to sleep, my lady."
Hinata's mind was already heavy again, the call of sleep smothering her with its insistence. Her body felt weighted but also light. She couldn't remember all that had been said, so she wasn't sure if she had actually heard the pain filled whisper-
"I'll do better to protect you."
When she roused from her sleep again, it was only because she sensed his presence. She sat up, her mind tortuously dizzy, and fell back to her mattress.
She had to get up.
She rolled herself out of bed, landing hands first on the ground. Pushing through her disoriented state, she gathered herself to her feet and managed to make it to her window. She didn't remember actually opening it, and she didn't remember walking out of the compound, but she was aware she was walking down the streets of Konoha. Her mind began to sober, but it was a process so slow that she often thought she was walking through a dream.
When his presence became overwhelming, she had already left the village gates; she could feel him as she staggered through the forest. He was idly watching her, she knew this, and the atmosphere changed. He was...troubled? Puzzled? Worried?
She hoped so.
"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke was suddenly in front of her, stopping a fall she hadn't known she was experiencing. Hinata allowed Sasuke to steady her. Her mind was coherent enough, but her body refused to remain sturdy.
"You got me sick," she mumbled, placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.
"I'm not sick."
She shook her head, insisting. "You got me sick."
He sighed, tempted to drop the topic. "What's wrong with you?"
"I had a fever..." She looked at him, trying to make out his face in the darkness and blurriness of her vision. "...I'm tired."
Sasuke led her as they walked. She was being rather compliant, and he wondered if he liked a disoriented Hinata. If he truly thought about it, it wasn't her mannerisms he liked for the moment but the lack of resistance she was putting up.
She wasn't pushing him away.
Hinata kept pressing herself closer to him; she was making it hard to walk in a straight line. He wondered if he really had made her sick. It could have something to do with all that was working inside his body to keep him immune to most poisons, and it could have something to do with death and experimental medicines being the staple of Orochimaru's hideouts.
Or maybe she should build up a stronger immune system.
But, he supposed, he'd have to make a few more—tedious—improvements to his hygiene rituals.
When they got to the field, Hinata was practically clinging to him. He distracted his mind for the most part because he didn't need to do anything to her when she was like this. Maybe if she was drunk it'd be different, but he didn't need her dying on him.
"Sasuke," Hinata said, her voice almost coming out as a whine, "I'm tired of the way we are."
He didn't say anything.
"Why are we like this?"
"Who knows."
"I don't want to be like this."
"I see."
She took a moment to breathe. She sounded like a wounded animal. "Sasuke?"
"What?"
"Am I evil?"
"Probably."
"I'm sorry."
"Okay."
"I don't know why I'm talking."
"Me either."
She tried to look at him. "Are you mad at me?"
"No."
"Oh... Are you mad at me?"
"I said no."
"You did?"
Sasuke looked down at her. She really was sick—and because of him. He had hazy memories of being in much the same state when he was exposed to the air of Orochimaru's hideout, though he was far less vocal and kept to himself. It had never occurred to him he was capable of transferring whatever diseases were crawling around that place.
Hinata nudged him. "Sasuke?"
"What?"
"What do you do when I leave you alone like...that?"
"Like what?"
"Like...last night..."
He sighed, suppressing a groan. "Hinata."
"...Yes?"
"Shut up."
He walked them inside the hideout and went straight for the bed. He sat her down and tasked himself with removing her jacket. Once it was off, he flung it on a chair and led her to the bathroom. He stopped at the sinks, looking through the middle drawers, and pulled out a black glass bottle, a tiny clear bottle, and a syringe.
He then walked them to the kitchen and braced Hinata's hands against the sink. As she stared down the drain, Sasuke looked through the cabinets and retrieved a shot glass. After some thought, he walked to the freezer and pulled out an ice cream bar.
"I can think," Hinata muttered. "I just feel funny... It's your fault... Because you're in my head..."
Sasuke didn't acknowledge her. He walked back to the sink with the shot glass and poured some of the contents of the black bottle into it. The liquid was brown; he didn't know if it's always been this way. He walked behind Hinata, gathered her hair in one hand, and lifted her head.
"Don't spit." He tilted her head back and poured the liquid in her mouth in one go. She jerked forward, spitting into the sink and then some.
"What is that?" she cried, her face scrunched horrendously.
"Medicine." He reached around her and grabbed the bottle, pouring another dose. "So swallow it."
"It's disgusting," she protested, gagging into the sink. "I don't want it."
"You just need to take it once."
She looked at him, glaring weakly. For some reason, she had tears in her eyes. "I. Don't. Want it."
Sasuke activated his Sharingan, staring her down. "I can jam a funnel down your throat," he offered.
Her weak glare deepened, looking more pained than fierce. Her Byakugan was suddenly activated and chakra began to build around her hands.
Sasuke nodded, a bit irritated. "You'd rather fight me than take this?"
"I don't even know what it is."
"Medicine," he repeated. "You're sick."
"I was already given medicine."
"Nothing Konoha has can cure you." When she still wouldn't budge, he added, "Take it once and you'll never have to take it again."
She clamped her lips together.
Sasuke grit his teeth lightly. "You could die."
"Then...let me."
Sasuke yanked her back and sent her crashing to the ground. He grabbed the glass, swooped down, and straddled her. She tried to push him, pitifully yelling for him to get off. He pinched her nose and poured the contents of the glass in her mouth. She gagged, some of it going down her throat and some seeping out the sides of her mouth. Dropping the glass, he forced her jaw closed and clamped his hand over her mouth. Hinata struggled ferociously, screaming from within her throat and clawing at his hand.
He stared down at her. "Swallow it."
She tried to shake her head, her face a dark red, tears seeping from her eyes.
"Fucking swallow," he barked, his hand pressing harder.
Her eyes squeezed tight, forced cries trying to burst through his hand. When her chest seemed to heave from crying only, he removed his hand. She sobbed loudly, rubbing her face.
"That wa-as disgusting!" She tried to speak without closing her mouth. It didn't work. "I think- I think I'm going to throw up."
"Go ahead." He pushed onto his knees, feeling around on the counter, and took the ice cream bar. He ripped the wrapper off, eyeing the frozen chocolate, and held it in front of her face. "Here."
Her heaving paused momentarily, wet eyes looking at the treat. When she didn't move to take it, he stuck it in her mouth; only for a second did she resist. She took it from him, turning away defensively.
"Keep it." He stood, stepping over her, and walked to retrieve the small glass bottle and syringe. Sticking the needle inside the bottle, he filled it halfway. He flicked the needle, eyeing it. Vaguely, he wondered if he was doing this right.
He turned back to Hinata; she was now sitting against the cabinet, knees to her chest. She was looking at the ground, occasionally sniffing. She was probably mad at him.
He walked to her cautiously, kneeling next to her. She looked at him, her eyes bulging at what was in his hand.
"Don't fight," he warned.
"Why do you have that?" she whispered, shrinking away from him.
Sasuke tapped the needle against his temple. Even when she was like this, he really liked having her around. "It's medicine."
"You just-"
"It's more medicine."
"...Why are you trying to kill me?"
He smirked by the smallest degree, his mouth parted as he let that sink in. "I'm not."
"Sasuke...you're not a doctor."
"I'm aware."
"You don't know...what all this is going to do to me. I might have an...an allergic reaction."
"You're not allergic."
"How do you know?"
"I know what you're allergic to."
Hinata licked her ice cream, her gaze repeatedly drawn to the syringe. "You did get me sick, didn't you?"
He shrugged.
She looked at herself then back at him. "This is your medicine, isn't it?"
"I guess."
"How do you know it can work on me?"
"I don't, but you're not asking stupid questions anymore."
She looked away from him, frowning. This is how people get killed, isn't it? By sharing medicine that's not prescribed to them. Was it possible for Sasuke to get anything prescribed to him these last few years?
She jumped when she felt Sasuke pulling her arm towards him. She yanked it back, holding it to her chest.
He huffed. "This is going to happen," he said plainly.
"B-but what does it do?"
"Makes you immune to diseases."
"...What kind?"
"The kind carried by dead people."
She paled. "Why would you... Why would I need that?"
He shrugged. "It's a precaution. You'll probably need more of these."
She didn't know how to respond. The fact that Sasuke had taken something like this meant he was around dead bodies. Often? Was that regular for him when he wasn't near Konoha, to be around dead people?
And she's been kissing him?
"Ow!" she screeched, unable to jump with Sasuke's firm hand pushing down on her shoulder.
"Be still," he muttered, injecting her with his dead people medicine. It badly stung, and her whole arm felt like it was going numb.
Surely, Sasuke would be the death of her.
He slowly withdrew the needle, bending down to lick the drop of blood on her arm. Hinata kept her eyes on her treat, aware that she was blushing.
"You're not...normal," she mumbled.
"You didn't notice me when I was."
She looked at him, squinting her eyes. That statement either hurt her or made her want to laugh. "I was a child."
He smirked, eyes slipping from hers briefly. "And now you're not."
She groaned and turned away from him? "Why are you like this?"
He scoffed.
"I..." She caught herself. She looked down, frowning again. "I wish you made this easy."
"I thought you were trying."
"I am... But... You're rarely in a...good mood."
"You're like this all the time."
She didn't respond, busying herself with her ice cream; it was beginning to drip. She peeked at him. He was staring at her, maybe her lips more so. No sooner had she noticed, he was leaning towards her.
"Um..." She leaned back slightly. "You still have the syringe."
"It won't touch you."
"B-but-" She was cut off.
And Sasuke decided he still didn't like the taste of sweet things, even if it was on her.
Or maybe he did.
It was hard to tell.
o0o0o
Hinata lied in bed as Sasuke finished up with his shower. What happened in the kitchen had gotten very...heated.
She never enjoyed it like that before.
More than that, she hadn't cringed when Sasuke became aroused. Usually, they stopped around that point because her nerves couldn't take it, but they kept going. She kept going...
She had gotten aroused, too...
It wouldn't have been the first time her body reacted to him, but she didn't feel disgusted with herself. In fact, she was a little frustrated he had been the one to stop it all. She didn't expect to have sex with him right there on the kitchen floor, but...they could have kept going for a little while longer.
Groaning, she rolled over, burying her face in a pillow.
Now she felt disgusted.
She didn't always like to entertain the thought that she was leading him on. When they had moments like these, things were okay, but things weren't always like this. Most of the time, things were tense, and she didn't want to be near him. Tomorrow, maybe even when he got out of the shower, things were going to go back to normal, and she would agonizingly wait until she could find a good opportunity to leave.
That was how they were.
And she might be the reason he goes to prison soon.
This ease... This sense of belonging... None of that could be associated with Sasuke. She couldn't forget how this had all started—the stalking, the fear, the pain. If she could look past that then, sure, maybe they'd be okay, but she couldn't look past it. She couldn't just forget and claim he did it all out of his emotions for her. Even if she wanted to, she could never have any form of a normal relationship with Sasuke.
They just didn't go together...
Even if she wanted really, really wanted them to.
When Sasuke was dressed, he walked into the bedroom and saw Hinata asleep on the bed near the wall. He supposed he should have expected that. She always left or fell asleep early when she realized she was warming up to him.
She was in denial.
Maybe she wasn't falling for him, and maybe she had no genuine emotions for him, but she was denying that she could. She was denying that she actually wanted him—at least her body did.
She was scared.
But he'd wait.
It's not like she could be with anyone else.