Chapter 21: Desolation of the Queen
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Somewhere before dawn, Jon had left his sleeping wife in their chambers to tend to a meeting with their small council. Ghost had remained in the bed, curled at Dany's feet, his crimson eyes ever watchful as his master left. Jon wore Blackfyre and Longclaw on each hip, his expression was grim, conflicted as he took the head seat at the table. He was joined by Varys, Tyrion, Ser Barristan, and his own hand, Ser Davos. A man he had befriended when Stannis had arrived at Castle Black. After Stannis's death, at the hands of Dany's dragons, Jon had his life spared by the Dragon Queen, for a time Davos had left to reflect on his grief at the loss of Princess Shireen, until recently he had returned, to find the once Lord Commander now a king and a father. The sight had filled Ser Davos with fatherly pride, and Jon had welcomed him with an open embrace and declared him the Hand of the King, while Tyrion remained Hand of the Queen, the two hands had fared well together in their short time. Dany had slowly become fond of him, found him intelligent and useful, and eventually came to see him as an ally.
"What is it she plans to do?" Tyrion calmly asked Jon.
"She wants to marry Sansa off to your brother, Jaime Lannister, so your house may have a legacy." Jon nearly hissed.
Tyrion swallowed hard. "Jaime has repented for the part he played with my father and sister, he is a changed man."
Jon glared at the imp, "Is that supposed to comfort me? Is that supposed to make it alright for him to marry my sister? Do you expect her to play mother to his other two illegitimate children? His bastard son tortured her for years for pleasure! He beat her in front of his court, humiliated her, and almost executed my father in front of her. He created a monster. I won't allow my sister to bare him another one."
Tyrion's eyes darkened, his hands curled at his side. "Myrcella and Tommen are dead. They passed away last night from a fever that would not break. I have yet to inform my brother." His tone was grave; his eyes glistened with withering tears. He had been very fond of those two. They had been the only redeeming thing of his vile sister. And now they too were gone.
Jon felt a rush of guilt, as indifferent he was towards any of the remaining Lannisters, he did feel compassion for the half-man. "Tyrion, I'm so sorry. I did not mean-"
Tyrion raised a hand; a small, melancholy rise of his lips stopped him. "I know, and it's alright." Jon reached out to place a comforting squeeze to his shoulder.
"Our apologies," Ser Barristan lamented to the hand of the queen, Varys and Ser Davos shared his sentiment, as Tyrion nodded in acceptance of their solace.
Varys began with a heavy heart after a moment, "We all know why we have gathered here." He sighed when no one spoke. "Our queen is not well."
Ser Barristan bowed his head, "The madness runs in her blood. She has shown it, lived it, people have died because of it."
Jon's expression was harsh upon them, "Those people deserved it."
"Our king speaks truth," Tyrion nodded solemnly. "Our queen has a forgiving heart, she is compassionate. But she knows when to be strong, and she certainly knows when hard decisions must be made and makes them."
Ser Davos took that moment to speak, "She is also murderous as her father."
Jon glared at him, "Ser Davos, I value your opinion, but that is my wife you speak of, I would choose my words more carefully if I were you."
Varys looked sympathetic at his king, "We are not saying we see any taint in her majesty." Jon bristled at his words. "But, she has shown signs of the Targaryen madness, at times very much so. We are only voicing our concerns. It not unknown to many that the Targaryens dance to close to madness."
Ser Barristan looked conflicted, "I believe in our queen just as much as any man in this room, but Varys speaks truth. Queen Daenerys's father was not the first. King Jaehaerys once told me that madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a new Targaryen is born, he said, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land. A Targaryen is born either for greatness in their blood or born to fall to the trait of insanity their bloodline carries. Queen Daenerys is no exception. Her father was the maddest of all the Targaryens."
"You don't know that," Jon protested, his grey eyes harsh upon them.
Tyrion pressed a hand against his knee, "We care for our queen. She holds a dear place in my heart unlike any other. Her kindness knows no bounds, but neither does her cruelty. Targaryens are fearsome as the dragons they rode, but equally as temperamental and unpredictable."
"She was fine, she was doing so well." Jon sighed; he ran a hand down his face in exhaustion and grief.
"When did this all start?" Tyrion looked thoughtful a moment.
"Months ago," Ser Barristan murmured.
Jon paused a moment, his heart quickly sank, his breath thick in his throat. "She began experiencing this madness during her pregnancy." A silence fell over them all. Jon's hands fisted at his side. "She's pregnant now."
"What?" The men hissed in unison.
"Dany, she found out yesterday from the physicians." Jon's hands were laced and propped on his knees, rested against his chin as he appeared in deep thought. "She can't be more than a month along they told her."
"She made it fine in the end of her last pregnancy; we will just have to keep an eye on her." Tyrion looked hopeful, Ser Barristan wary, Ser Davos unconvinced, Varys skeptical.
"This pregnancy is different," Jon began as he mulled over his wife's words. "She said Rhaegar and Elaena were wolf-blooded, the blood of the north ran strong in them. She calls them her wolf pups. But this one, she said it was a dragon, the Targaryen blood is stronger in this one."
"Logically that cannot be true," Tyrion murmured. "Your children cannot be one bloodline more than the other. It's not possible. Daenerys hails from the blood of Old Valyria, you, Jon, are half and half, northern blood and Old Valyria. The bloodline that runs in your veins is no different than those that run in Daenerys. Logically, you'd be lucky if none of your children inherited any trait of insanity that runs in the blood of Old Valyria."
Ser Barristan shook his head, "When has anything ever been logical about the Targaryens. Many say their blood carries a magical property that no other humans' does. It's why the ancient houses of Old Valyria were known as Dragon riders."
"Regardless of our ancestry, that does not help the matter at hand." Jon sighed warily. "We're losing Dany. I don't know if she will survive another pregnancy with her mind completely intact. It took everything to bring her back once."
Ser Davos took a deep breath as he spoke cautiously to his king. "I know you do not wish to hear it, my king. But it needs to be said. Our queen, your wife, she is a danger to all. She has an unstoppable army, and thirteen large dragons, three of which are bigger than most castles. If she continues on this path, you will rule nothing but a while of ashes and blood." Jon grimaced at his words.
Jon's tone was strong with conviction, his eyes hardened with his beliefs. "She won't descend into madness."
"How do you know for sure?" Ser Davos whispered gently to his king.
"Because I won't let her," Jon all but snarled like an agitated direwolf.
Ser Davos looked at the white wolf thoughtfully, silently impressed by his king's courage, proud of his strength. But that did not change the single question that loomed in the air. "I only hope you words ring true, Jon. But the question remains, if you fail, will you be able to take your wife and unborn child's lives with your sword?"
Jon's mind went blank; too afraid to give into sense and logic, remained in a world that bordered on the reality of his situation and his dreams to change that reality. "She won't go mad."
Ser Barristan stepped forward to place a comforting hand on his king's shoulder. "We cannot know we can only hope that our queen does not carry taint of her bloodline."
Daenerys tossed and turned in her sleep, her dreams were horrid, nightmares of the worst degree. She dreamt of her brother, her insane dear brother, Viserys. He was hitting her, hurting her. She was naked, heavily pregnant, and clumsy on her feet and so filled with fear, a feeling she had not experienced for a long time. In her dreams she tried vainly to run from him, but her body was slow and ungainly. She felt a particularly harsh strike across her cheek, and her abdomen, her poor, sweet unborn child. She screamed as she fell backwards against the hard, and unforgiving ground, felt her brother's booted foot assault her back as she tried to protect her abdomen and child. He struck her repeatedly, using both his fists and feet.
"You've woken the dragon, sweet sister!" Viserys hissed at her, grabbed a handful of her silvery locks as she cried out as she was forced up by her tresses fisted in his hands. Her hands clawed weakly at his to release her. "You awoke the dragon; it's your fault, you wolf whore!"
"No!" Daenerys fought against his accusing words. She cried out when his boot clad foot struck her abdomen. He threw her unceremoniously onto the ground. Dany whimpered and closed her eyes to will away the pain that erupted in white fire within her. "No…" She wept. Her shaky hand reached for her between legs where she suddenly felt slick with wetness. As she raised her hand, she found it drenched in thick, red blood. "No…no…" Her breath began to hitch with each word until it was piercing scream to the cruel heavens above.
She felt as if her flesh was searing off her bones, a pain erupted between her thighs. Dany sensed it, a form moving in her body wanting out, to born into the world. She collapsed onto her back and released a cry to shrill it sounded dragon like. Between her thighs a black figure emerged, monstrous and twisted, blackened scales over its body, small leathery wings with sloughed flesh, its body was wet and slick with blood. Her blood. It turned its head slowly; it lulled a moment, until it stood upright. Purple eyes, her own eyes, stared back at her.
"Mother," Its trilling voice called out to her.
Daenerys screamed.
"Dany!" Jon's voice broke her from her sleep as she bolted upright in her bed, she was awake, eyes wide with fear, shaking and covered in a fine sweat. Her purple gaze was quick to find Jon's grey one. "Dany, you're safe, you were having a nightmare."
Dany trembled, "Where were you?" She roared at him.
"I stepped out for a moment to check the twins, when I came back you were tossing and turning in a fit." Jon tried to reassure her. "No one can hurt you anymore, Dany."
The Targaryen princess looked disbelieving of him. "It was Viserys." She quietly confessed to him. "He was hurting me, hitting me, he kicked me and I lost our child."
Jon drew her to him, held her, and kissed her forehead. "You're not going to lose our child, Dany. It was only a dream."
"But it felt so real," Daenerys whimpered into his chest. His arms tightened around her. Jon buried his face into her silvery locks. "I still gave birth to her, to Lyanna, she was not human. She was not even a dragon. Her body was twisted and grotesque, she was a monster. That thing came from inside me."
"Dany," Jon tried to soothe her. "It was a dream. You gave birth to Rhaegar and Elaena; they are as human as they come. Lyanna will be no different; she will be born a sweet, beautiful summer child just like her siblings."
"That creature called me mother," Daenerys seethed. "That disgusting creature…"
"Daenerys," Jon's voice was harsh, cold, broke her from her daze as she looked up at him taken aback. "It was a dream. You need to understand that. Viserys is dead, he cannot hurt you anymore. Lyanna will be born a healthy, wailing babe, and she will love you just as much as Elaena, Rhaegar, and I. You need to stop this, or… you will go mad."
Daenerys glared at him incredulously. She shoved him away from her. Jon felt his heart shatter at the betrayed look she cast him. "I knew I could trust no one, nobody, not even you, my husband. I can only trust myself, and my dragons." She looked at him in a rage. "My dragons, that's all any of you were after, you all wanted my dragons, you wanted to steal my power, my throne, my birthright from me! Even you, my husband, you never wanted me, only my power." She hissed at him angrily, a violet storm fumed in her eyes as she stared him down.
Jon was at his breaking point, he'd had enough, could not have anymore. "I never wanted any of this, Dany. None of it, I never wanted the land, the wealth, the titles, the power, I never wanted to be king, and I never wanted to rule Westeros. I never asked for any of this, you asked this of me. I've given you everything you have ever asked of me. All I ever wanted was you, only you, Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen. You have given me more than a man like me deserves. You took my name, bore my children, and loved me. That is more than enough. I do not need any more from you, and I will ask nothing more of you. That I promise you."
Daenerys struggled against her thoughts, fought her head and heart. She knew everything he spoke was truth; she cast all this upon him, the burden of ruling, entering battles, leading armies, being a reluctant king. He did it all for her without asking anything in return, when all she did was ask everything of him. And he gave without complaint.
Her heart broke; tears streamed freely, stained her cheeks, and reddened her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen, not to you, not to the only man I truly love."
"Dany, I did all this because I love you and I want to be with you." Jon reassured her. "I did this on my own regard."
"You're not happy," Dany argued.
"I am happy," Jon promised. "As long as I have you, I'll always be happy."
Daenerys shed more tears at his words.
"But if I lose you to your madness, I'll lose any happiness I ever had. If I lose you, I lose all reason to live."
Dany looked startled at his declaration.
Jon sighed, took her hands in his as if pleading her. "I need you to be sane, Daenerys. I need you to stay by my side, far from the Targaryen madness that runs in your blood. I need you to fight it for me. For the first time I am asking something from you and I need you to do it, I cannot lose you."
Daenerys shed a tear, and another. She looked at him for the first time in weeks; he saw a reflection of his Dany looking back at him. "You will not lose me."
"Promise me?"
Daenerys leaned up to kiss him chastely, "I promise, Jon. You will never lose me."
Jon pressed his forehead against hers in sheer relief at her words that rung with conviction. "Whenever you feel the madness taking over, I need you to fight it, fight it for Rhaegar, Elaena, me, and now, Lyanna."
Dany looked earnest, "I promise I will."
"I'll help you," Jon promised her in return. "Everyone wants you well. They all see it and know it." The dragon queen grimaced, but she knew they did. She'd heard the whispers, seen the concerned stares from her council, friends, family, she was becoming her father's daughter, just so. But he would not win; she would not be his legacy. She was the blood of the dragon, daughter of the dragon, bride of the dragons, thee dragon. And a dragon was no slave, especially not to those who failed to be dragons like her father and brother, Viserys.
Daenerys held Jon's stare with her own; despite her exhaustion she held fierceness in her vibrant purple eyes. "I will not go mad."
Jon smiled a real smile for the first time in a long time, "I know you won't." He kissed her forehead; Dany reveled in it for the moment.
The silence was warm; it comforted Jon, until Daenerys spoke again. "I was not mad when I said Sansa will marry Jaime Lannister." Jon froze, Dany's gaze remained unfazed. She needed him to understand, accept it, this time his disapproval changed nothing.
"She has suffered enough, you know this. Let her go back home to her parents, let her live her life in peace."
"You think its peace she wants?" Daenerys was skeptical. "Maybe if she had returned after only suffering at Joffrey's hand. But she has been with Baelish for years, Ramsay Bolton; all she's known since she was a fledgling was pain, humiliation, torture at the hands of someone stronger and greater in rank then her. She is no longer that helpless girl, she's fearless now. You really think once she returns to the north she'll simply return to her needlework and dreaming of gallant knights to save her? No, she will crave power. She will want power so she will never be at the mercy of another man or being again. She may even try to north from Robb. Once that great oaf Mace Tyrell passes, Robb will become Warden of the South and North. Who knows, Robb may even give Sansa the north willingly. The North is powerful, I know it is your home, was once mine as well. But in the hands of a power hungry girl it will be true madness. Why can you not understand that?"
"Sansa isn't like that!" Jon argued; he glared at her; neither was willing to give in to the other. If one did not submit, it would lead to more fighting and possibly even bloodshed if Robb and Ned got wind of what Daenerys planned to do to Sansa. And he had had entirely enough of both for one lifetime.
"Stop being so blind, stop seeking the naïve and fearful little sister who needs your protection in her. That girl is dead. Joffrey, Baelish, Bolton, they killed her. She's gone. I know this, because I see myself in her." Daenerys's voice was softer, weaker on a note of grieving the loss of that naïve little girl. "When those who wronged me took everything from me, I wanted power, even if they were all dead, I wanted power so it would never happen again. Once I claimed my power, I overthrew Cersei Lannister and reclaimed my birthright so no one would ever be able to rise against me again. Sansa wants the same. But, unlike those fools who were unable to stop my rise, I will stop hers. My power are my dragons, hers would be the north. I won't let that happen. She wants power I will give it to her, but as Lady of the House Lannister. She will have power, but she will also have someone who can keep an eye on her, step in when her need for power becomes too great, she will have a husband. Jaime will not harm her, like the others did." Her purple eyes narrowed darkly. "If he lays a hand on her, I will burn him alive in his castle with all the remaining members of his house with dragon fire. All of Westeros will know the true meaning of fire and blood. I will listen for his screams as his flesh burns off his bones, and I will dance on the ashes of his remains and of House Lannister."
With infinite care, Jon spoke. "What of Tyrion, what will you tell him once you've destroyed his entire house and family?"
Daenerys's look was scathing. "He will understand." She cast him one more look, before she moved to get out of the bed, she hesitated, felt her stomach lurch, and heartache with death at what she was about to do.
Jon looked confused, "Where are you going?"
Dany turned to look at him, eyes unreadable. "I will sleep in Rhaegar and Elaena's room; I do not wish to share your bed tonight." Jon felt his chest tighten painfully. And so, with a grim expression on his lips and a firm clamping on his frustration he let her go. Dany paused at the door; her words were icy as the northern blood in his veins. "Sansa will marry Jaime Lannister."
Fin
