A/N - own nothing Twilight

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Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I finally got Bella to meet me at Blue Moon cafe for some lunch. It took lots of phone calls and messages from other peoples phones for her to agree, but she did. She chose a restaurant I'm guessing, so no one can make a scene. We needed to talk though. I didn't give a shit where it was, as long as we talked. We can't go on like this. I have been in complete melancholy since she walked out that door. She never even gave me a chance to explain. It's like we always get so far and then it just starts rewinding, the same old song we're playing it again. Always something getting in the way, well my past to be exact. Compulsion has stained me.

My ruthless, womanizing ways will haunt me for the rest of my life. Or maybe just until my looks fade away. Even thousands of miles away, it still lingers there. I guess it is inevitable, I walk alone. The one women I love, need, crave, fulfills my every desire is plagued with my wretched past. I wish I could go back and rewrite my past, but I can't. I thought she knew me, that she knew I wasn't that person anymore. I wanted her, I love her completely and will do whatever it takes. We can move across the world. To Paris or London where I'm not known. My only real chance is- is the baby. The only thing that ties us together. Can it be enough though? I desperately want it to. The days alone I have spent in my apartment staring at this tiny little person in a picture, nothing made me happier. She had to have been happy about it too, the picture was my Christmas present. The best gift on earth.

Usually I would drown my sorrows in my liquor of choice, till I just no longer had feelings. Not anymore, this baby changed me. I cleaned my whole place. I emptied one of my rooms, for the baby. I wanted Bella to know I was serious about this. The day after Christmas I went back to Tiffany's for an engagement ring. I wanted her to know I was truly committed. I wanted this. To become a happy little family. Never before would this have even cross my mind, that's true. It was different now. I want to make Bella my wife. I want to give her everything she wants and needs. To raise this beautiful child together and fuck, have a couple of more.

I waited for Bella to arrive at the cafe, for what seemed like forever. I drank some coffee and finally after waiting for over thirty minutes I ordered an egg salad sandwich. I munched on my sandwich and chips, hoping that she didn't stand me up. I think I deserve a little something. I feel like she caught me fucking Tanya. I know her pregnant mind probably took it way out of proportion. The suspense is fucking killing me. I have been sitting here for forty-five minutes waiting on her. I pulled out the ring, staring at it hoping it will give me some motivation or maybe a little confidence. I sure as hell needed some about now. The ring was white gold vintage band with a two karate diamond. I had éternellement vôtre in-scripted on the inside. Hopefully she would love it and except it.

Finally she showed up, she was over an hour late. She sat down and looked down to staring at the table. I guess this was truly hard for her, my heart sunk a little. This defiantly wasn't going in the direction I was hoping. She never said anything about being late, we just sat in awkward silence. I was just taking her in, I missed her so much. I wanted to kiss her, but I could tell that was wrong.

"Bella, I- I'm so sorry you walked in on that." "She just started kissing me, please know that I was trying to get her off of me." "I love you so much and I'm so excited about the baby". "I cleared out one of the guest rooms for the nursery".

She looked up at me biting her bottom lip. The look in her eyes and on her face were making me extremely nervous.

"Edward...... we- we..... I can't do this."

"Do what love?"

"Us".

I grabbed her hands into mine. I wasn't going to let her go again.

"I don't understand Bella, I didn't kiss her, this doesn't make any sense".

"Edward, I love you, I truly do". "I can't go around pretending anymore, every women looking at you everywhere we go". "All I can see is you fucking them".

"I can't change my past, you knew, before all of this." "Bella why now?" "This isn't fair, you can't ..... you can't."

"Edward, I'm leaving, I need time away." "I already talked to Jessica and she is coming back to take my place." "I'm sorry."

I grabbed hold of her tighter, she wasn't walking out that door. Not like this.

"I want to be part of our baby's life, please don't leave me, don't leave me Bella".

"Don't make this any harder than it already is".

She can't fucking leave me, this isn't fair. This is our baby. How can she just get up and leave? I was panicking, I didn't know what to do. I had to make this better and fast. The only thing I could think of, I just did it. Even though I didn't plan it this way, but nothing with us ever came as planned.

"Bella please....". I got down on one knee and pulled out the ring, "Bella I love you more than life its self, marry me".

I slipped the ring on her ring, before she said a word. I wanted her to feel in on her finger, to know that is felt right. This is what we wanted.

"Bella, please be my wife, I want to spend the rest of my life with you".

"Edward, I - I ........ It's too late".

"But I don't want to the love we have to end".

She walked right out of my life, not even looking back.

I now know what heart break feels like, mine was just shattered.

A/N- the inscription is eternally yours

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