Chapter Twenty One
The thing is you really don't know you are dead until someone tells you. All I see is black and then just like that, I am staring at a winded Finnick and a hysterically crying Katniss in the jungle. Feels like someone slammed something on my chest and my whole body aches like I have been running full speed for three days.
"Careful," I say. "There's a force field up ahead."
She laughs but is still crying.
"Must be a lot stronger…than the one on …the Training Center roof," I say trying to get up. "I'm all right, though. Just a little shaken."
"You were dead! Your heart stopped!" she yells at me. Well at least I will know how she would act when I do die.
She places her hands to her mouth and continues to sob uncontrollably.
"Well, it seems to be working now," I say. "It's all right, Katniss."
I embrace her and she continues to cry on my shoulder. She is shaking so I bring her in closer.
"Ssssh," I whisper in her ear. I haven't seen her like this before, this unhinged. It could have been building all this time, the thought of dying has never really entered in my mind. The thought of her dying, I try to never think about but now that it may be something that I would have to come to terms with.
"Katniss?" I say on her shoulder, still holding her. I rub her back with my hands trying to console her.
"It's okay. It's just her hormones," says Finnick. "From the baby."
Wonder if he actually believes that. The tone in which he mentions the hormones it is like he knows it is a ploy only for the Capitol.
"No. It's not - "she begins to say before she starts another wave of hysterical crying.
"I am okay," I whisper to her. "I am still here."
This has the exact opposite affect and she begins to cry even more. Finally she starts to quiet down and I can feel she is taking deeper breathes.
Finnick asks me as I still hold her.
"How are you? Do you think you can move on?"
"No, he has to rest," Katniss says separating from me and looking at Finnick with accusatory eyes.
Mags grabs a handful of moss from the tree and hands it to Katniss. Interesting thing to note, the moss here can be used as a tissue.
She turns back to me still sitting on the ground. Something catches her eyes and she reaches out for the locket.
"Is this your token?" she asks.
"Yes. Do you mind that I used your mockingjay? I wanted us to match," I say.
"No, of course I don't mind," she says with a smile. She examines it, and it is like she is trying to place it from a memory. She recognizes it. Katniss's mother had given it to me telling me that it was Katniss's father old locket. One of the only things they found after the mining accident that took his life. Good thing that Finnick interrupts before I have to explain who gave it to me.
"So you want to make camp here, then?" Finnick asks.
"I don't think that's an option," I say. "Staying here. With no water. No protection. I feel all right really. If we could just go slowly."
"Slowly would be better than not at all," Finnick says helping me up to my feet.
I pat myself making sure that I still have all my fingers and well some of my toes. Yes it is still there, the metal extension of my missing leg. Just as we are about to get started again, Katniss volunteers to take the lead.
"Katniss, no," I begin to say before I am cut off by Finnick.
"No, let her do it. You knew that force field was there didn't you? Right at the last second? You started to give a warning."
She nods.
"How did you know?" he asks.
"I don't know. It's almost as if I could hear it. Listen." She says as she becomes still.
We all listen to hear if we can hear the same thing. Nothing but insects, and birds and the occasion wind.
"I don't hear anything," I say.
"Yes," she insist, "it's like when the fence around District Twelve is on, only much, much quieter."
We all listen intently trying to hear anything than the surrounding noise. I look at her and see that her eyes don't meet mines, she is lying, but I decide to play along.
"There!" she says. "Can't you hear it? It's coming from right where Peeta got shocked."
"I don't hear it, either," says Finnick. "But if you do, by all means, take the lead."
She looks at us confused. "That's weird," she turns her head from side to side. "I can only hear it out of my left ear."
"The ones the doctors reconstructed?" I ask.
"Yeah," she says, shrugging. "Maybe they did a better job than they thought. You know, sometimes I do hear funny things on that side. Things you wouldn't ordinarily think have a sound. Like insect wings. Or snow hitting the ground."
Mags walks by me and nudges Katniss. "You."
Finnick breaks off two branches from the tree and quickly fashions it into a cane, one for me and one for Mags, great now I am like an old man again. It reminds me of my trusty wood cane back in the stream in our old Games.
"Really I don't need it," I say.
"Just humor us," Finnick says.
We walk for a little bit and I can see that Katniss is tossing nuts to the left. Reminds me of the game we had with the apple. Mags is in front of me and is stooping down to pick up the nuts that are fried by the force field.
"Mags!" Katniss yells at her. "Spit it out. It could be poisonous."
She shakes her head no. Katniss looks back and I hear Finnick "I guess we'll find out."
We walk and it seems that Katniss's path is a curve one. The force field is actually pushing us around a path that is not random but deliberate. There are no signs of water anywhere which is not a good thing. We would not last no more than three days without water, so it would make for a very short Hunger Games,
Katniss looks back and finally realizing that we need to find water suggests a break.
"I need to get another look from above." She says.
From below I see Katniss shoot an arrow into the sky. There is a brief burst of light and then the arrow flies down to the jungle. She climbs down and gives us the bad news.
"The force field has us trapped in a circle. A dome, really. I don't know how high it goes. There's the Cornucopia, the sea and then the jungle all around. Very exact. Very symmetrical. And not very large," she says.
"Did you see any water?" Finnick asks.
"Only the saltwater where we started the Games," she says.
"There must be some other source," I say. "Or we'll all be dead in a matter of days."
"Well, the foliage is thick. Maybe there are ponds or springs somewhere," she says. "At any rate, there's no point in trying to find out what's over the edge of the hill, because the answer is nothing,"
"There must be drinkable water between the force field and the wheel," I say. "Let's move down to a lower level and see what we find."
We walk down which hurts more walking down the slope than it is walking up. We go for another fifteen twenty minutes before we turn and begin to walk parallel to force field. We walk for what I think is about an hour and a half before we finally stop too weak to continue.
"Good enough place as ever for a campsite," Finnick says. "We can use the force field as a weapon should we need to."
This reminds me of the last Quarter Quell and Haymitch using it as a weapon. Did Finnick see the games and therefore suggest it. He grabs long blades of grass and begins to weave it into mats. He places them on the ground.
I walk around and grab a couple branches full of nuts. Then one by one I toss it to the force field. It zaps it and the shells falls off. I place the cook pieces of nuts on a leaf.
Everyone is doing something, from Finnick creating an overhead enclosure made of grass blades, to me collecting food to eat, to Katniss guarding us all. We all look at each other and knowing full well that what we need is water, someone has to go and find a source.
"Finnick, why don't you stand guard and I'll hunt around some more for water," she says.
"Not the safest place to go by yourself, especially in your condition," Finnicks says.
"I agree remember the last time we did that, no mockingjays now to communicate with each other" I say.
"Don't worry, I won't go far." She promises.
"I'll go too," I say.
"No, I'm going to do some hunting if I can," she says.
I smile at her, knowing full well that my clumsy heavy feet would probably scare everything off and she and I know it.
"I won't be long." Katniss says.
She walks off into the jungle. I turn and keep a watch towards the location should I hear any noise I would be able to run towards her. This time however I know that I am not handling something poisonous like nightlock, it is something that we can all eat.
Just then, the cannon sounds and I quickly look towards the path Katniss took. Then another cannon fire, then another, they represent the number of dead tributes.
"Must be over," Finnick says somberly.
"Senseless." I say under my breath
We count eight cannons and know that somewhere, eight people have died. It still doesn't make any sense. How people could consider this entertainment. Everyone in the Capitol would be glued to their television where people in the Districts would either be rebelling against the Capitol or working for them.
After a couple of minutes I see Katniss stomping back to the camp site obviously disappointed.
"No, no water. It's out there, though. He knew where it was," she says holding up some rodent looking animal that she killed. "He'd been drinking recently when I shot him out of a tree, but I couldn't find his source. I swear, I covered every inch of ground in a thirty-yard radius."
"Can we eat him?" I ask.
"I don't know for sure. But his meat doesn't look that different from a squirrel's. He ought to be cooked…"
We all look at each other. Starting a fire is not something that we would want to do. Especially with the arena being so small there is a greater probability that we would attract other Victors.
"Instead of starting a fire, how about if we use the force field to cook it?" I suggest. "Here let me try something."
I grab my knife and cut a square piece of meat from the animal. I look around for a twig something long enough to skewer it with. "Ah!" I say as I find the perfect stick. I walk slowly to the force field the meat in front on a stick. As soon as the meat comes in contact with the force field it is instantly cooked.
I pick up the still hot piece of meat, and present it to the group. They all applaud me before they remember where we are.
"You would have to cut off the outside, but the inside is still good," I say, giving Katniss a piece.
She bites into it and chews for a little bit, before she gives a thumbs up. We get to work on cutting the rodent into little manageable bite sizes. After about a half hour we have cooked the entire thing.
Each of us has an equal share of rodent with nuts. It isn't a bad enough meal, but what I wouldn't get to have a meal from District Twelve. We eat until we have our fill. Sure would be nice to have a little water to wash it all down but we would have to do with what we can.
Finnick asks Katniss all sorts of questions about the rodent. How high was it? What was it doing? How long was it that she watched it before she killed it?
My eyes follow the sun as it begins to hides behind the horizon. We all know what is coming soon. Like on cue we all position ourselves and look up to the sky. I grab her hand and know what is coming. The one thing we all hate.
The seal of the Capitol is visible in the sky. The anthem begins and I look at her. She looks at me and painfully smiles.
District Five's male Victor is first. The sick looking man from District Six is next. Both Victors from Eight, Cecelia and Woof. Both Victors from Nine dead, the woman from Ten, and Seeder from Eleven.
Seeder from Eleven. This one would hurt her the most. I squeeze her hand. She looks at me. I kiss her on the cheek and whisper in her ear. "I am sorry about Seeder."
She nods and we just sit there silent. It is about remembering those who died, remembering our Victors. It is different this time around. It isn't children that we didn't know; it was the Victors of past Hunger Games. People that we have gotten to know the last couple of days. We may not have known their private life, but we got to know them the way they are.
The silver parachute slowly works its way down to the ground. It just sits there and no one reaches for it, just another tool to kill us with, or help us survive long enough to die later.