Toby had my whole body pinned down to the bed. He wasn't that much bigger than me, but he was definitely heavier. I was trapped. He lay there, on top of me, nibbling at the skin on my neck and irrationally giggling.
"Toby, you really need to get off, me. Please. You're really, really, dangerously drunk."
"I know I am," he snarled in my ear. It sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine. I was going through an extremely confusing series of emotions. I knew that Toby would be regretting all this in the morning to extreme measures, so I knew I needed to stop him as soon as I could. But at the same time, the faded fangirl left in me from before the whole Vidcon incident was freaking the hell out. Pushing Toby off me would be going against all my instincts to do what I know is right. Just then, a sharp pain shot through the base of my neck. Toby had legitimately bitten me.
"Okay, Toby. Seriously, that's enough." I freed one of my hands and used it to push his face off my shoulder. His response was to flip over again, and take me with him. Somehow, he managed to get me to straddle him. I wanted to just lean in and kiss so bad, but I leaped up off the bed and sprinted toward the door.
"Where ya goin'? I thought you loved me…" Those last few words made me freeze. He's drunk, Maddy. He's drunk. Stop it. You can get away. Lock yourself in your room and deal with it in the morning. He'll be hung over and extremely apologetic in the morning. Billions of thoughts spun vigorously through my head. I couldn't decide how to respond to that. What if he went to bed, crying because I walked away implying that I actually don't love him?
"Toby Joe Turner." I spun around with a blank look on my face, "I love you more than any other human being on the planet earth. And I really do mean that. You probably aren't going to remember me saying this when you wake up in the morning, but I would take a bullet for you, and you know very damn well how true that statement is. How could you possibly ever doubt my love for you?" He was staring at me with big, green, glossy eyes. I didn't want to lose myself in them, so I looked down at my fingers, which were playing with the bottom of my shirt. "I need you to go to sleep now, babe. We'll speak in the morning. Please feel free to sleep in, and I'll help to nurse you back to health if necessary. Good night." I closed the door of his room behind myself, shuffled down the hall to my room, closed that door and stopped. I felt like all the life had been sucked out of me. I wanted to cry, but I was lost in thought. The things running through my head; the arguments I was having with myself. I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to scream. I rushed over to my window, used what I thought was the rest of my strength to pry it open, and found a little more energy to take a deep breath and yell. The birds that had settled down for the night in the trees nearby flipped and scattered, as my mind was doing the same. I slammed the window shut and fell backward onto my bed. I didn't even get under the covers; I fell asleep at the foot of my bed, curled in the fetal position.