IMPORTANT STORY NOTE

Hello Loves,

Here's the deal. Since picking up this story again I've been reworking and reconsidering some things. As a result, I've decided to change a couple of points. They're not major changes but nevertheless, I'd like to inform you all of them.

1. Isadora doesn't have her own phoenix. I know, I know, seems like a big plot change but it really won't be. I find it far too complicated to include Ash into the future of this story. Let's just say that she is very close to Fawkes and that he is the phoenix that she hangs out with by the lake on occasion. I'm going to go back and change those chapters that mention this but you really don't have to reread as long as you bear this in mind.

2. Slight change to the last chapter. I posted it too quickly. There is a point when Isadora and Sirius are in potions when she is trying to talk to him. I have just changed it so that she gives him back the bracelet he gave her for Christmas. I suggest you reread the chapter if you want, not a huge thing but I am sort of partial to it.

Sorry about the changes. If I sit too long with a story it means I find its flaws. No worries though. I'm pretty sure I have the whole thing mapped out to the end now. Well…...mostly. There's a hell of a lot more to go so please enjoy and let me know if you do or you don't!

Also, thank you to Sirius-Baby and Hermione09Weasley for your lovely reviews!

Love from Kassie

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Chapter 21: Regrets

Isadora sat at lunch alone a couple of afternoons later, poking her salad limply with her fork. The past few days were awful, deplorable, her worst at Hogwarts yet, and she'd had some bad days. She also had some good days though and she missed them. Isadora wasn't upset at Sirius per say, just at the situation. She understood why he broke up with her. But that didn't mean that she had to be happy about it. And it didn't help that everyone was talking about what had happened.

The first thing that Alice had asked her when she sat down at the breakfast table with Lily (the morning after Sirius broke up with her) was whether or not it was true. Lily had quickly elbowed her friend in the ribs but the damage had been done. Isadora had said nothing. She just gritted her teeth, stood up and stalked off. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

And as far as the boys of Gryffindor were concerned…well, Isadora had avoided the Marauder's like the plague (not that any of them except for Peter would have said more than two words to her), interacting with Sirius only at Potions. She wasn't trying to be unkind towards her former, she just couldn't handle more than frivolous conversation. Who was she kidding? She could hardly handle it when his hand grazed hers as he was reaching for a plant that was near her on the table. When did this happen? It felt like just yesterday that she did everything she could to spurn his advances. Now she was barely able to be around him. The fact of the matter was, she had fallen head over heels for Sirius Black and she didn't even know when it had happened.

Thankfully, the school year was almost over. She only had a few weeks left and some O.W.L.'s and then that was it. She could leave this place behind and not have to think about it until next September. Isadora shook her head to clear it of her murky thoughts. She dropped her fork with a clatter onto her plate and stood up to leave. She had to stop moping. She hadn't got any serious studying done in well over a week and she had to get cracking if she was going to get the grades she needed on her exams.

As she raised herself from the bench though, something at the other end of the table caught her eye. Sirius. He was sitting alone looking just as miserable as she had been lately. He poked unenthusiastically at his breakfast, unknowingly mirroring Isadora's movements just a few moments earlier. She felt for him and wished that she could do something to help. Isadora at least had Lily to speak to so that she wasn't completely alone. Sirius however, had no one. She was pretty sure that James and Remus still weren't talking to him and that Peter was probably too busy following James around to—

Isadora's thoughts were interrupted by a girl who had approached her and was tapping her nervously on the shoulder. Without a word, she handed her a piece of folded up parchment and was off. Isadora was going to say thank you but didn't even get the chance. Instead, she shrugged and opened up the note.

I would be much obliged if you would join me for tea at 3 o'clock this afternoon.

-Albus Dumbledore

Isadora inwardly groaned. She hated the way he wrote his notes, making them sound like an invitation when she knew that it was anything but. It was a command and if she didn't show, he would probably send McGonagall after her. She let out a small sigh and made her way out of the Great Hall, sparing a quick glance only for Sirius. He was still sitting at the table, looking just as dejected and lonely as he had before.

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"Ah, Isadora. Thank you for being prompt."

The girl gave her uncle a weak smile before sitting down across the desk from him. A house elf quickly appeared with a tray of tea and biscuits and Isadora poured some into cups for the both of them. As she sat back down, Fawkes appeared and joined them, which warmed the girl's heart a little. She turned her attention back to Dumbledore and saw him quietly sipping his tea, probably waiting for her to speak first.

"You asked me to come a day earlier than usual," she commented for lack of something better to say.

"Yes," he replied before setting down his teacup gently on the desk. "I won't be able to meet with you tomorrow I'm afraid. Actually, probably not for the rest of the school year. I find myself quite busy around this time."

"That's all right," she said blankly. "I need to focus on my exams anyways."

"I'm sure you'll be just fine child. You always were a diligent student. However, this afternoon I wanted to discuss a different matter with you." Isadora groaned inwardly. She knew he was going to bring up the Whomping Willow incident and she really didn't want to talk to him about it. Dumbledore pushed his glasses up a little higher on his nose and continued speaking, "I'd like to know where you'd like to spend your summer. You are of course welcome to spend it here with me or perhaps you'd like to go back to the Manor—"

Despite her surprise she quickly interrupted him, "France. I want to go back to France."

"You've already sold the house in Marseilles."

She shook her head. "No. Paris. I want to stay in Paris. That should be where most of my old friends from Beauxbatons are."

Iasadora chuckled to herself a little at that statement. Truth was, she didn't have any friends from Beauxbatons that she had kept in touch with. While the student population wasn't entirely made up of bourgeois society, they certainly upheld its principals, which made attending the academy a bit like living in an acromantuala's lair. If one wasn't careful, they would surely be devoured by the swarming creatures. And the swarming creatures at Beauxbatons would be the girls. Unlike at Hogwarts, they ruled with an iron fist. School was a constant competition over who was the most talented, the most beautiful, the richest witch. Quite frankly, Isadora found it boring but it was easier to play along than to allow the other girls to walk all over her. Fortunately though, her family history allowed her to fit right in with the society elite that made up the crème de la crème of the school. It didn't mean though that she would use the term 'friend' to describe the girls that she had socialized with. Any one of them would have been glad to point a wand at her back if they thought they could get something out of it. The male population was generally content to sit back and watch the bloodbath. Thankfully she had found a few male friends there who were at least slightly normal, rich yes, but normal. They usually holidayed in Paris and she might be able to look a few of them up if she stayed there over the summer.

Isadora cleared her throat before continuing, "I'll stay at the Plaza at Champs-Élysées. They're nice to me there. It's quiet."

Dumbledore looked at her intently for a second. She really hated that. It always felt like he could see right through her and know exactly what she was thinking. He let out a small sigh, "You're sure you don't want to stay in England?"

"Yes," she said quietly but firmly.

"Does this have anything to do with what happened with your friends last week?"

"No," she responded unconvincingly.

Despite his doubt, he didn't push it too much. "I've been meaning to ask you about that actually. You see, after you came up to my office that night, I went down to the Whomping Willow to intervene. Fortunately Mr. Snape was not badly hurt, unconscious yes, but Madame Pomfrey managed to revive him. James Potter had gotten to him in time. Afterwards, he and Mr. Black joined me here for a cup of tea to explain what had happened."

"He didn't mean to do it," said Isadora quickly. "Sirius. I mean, he did do it, he just didn't realize how—"

"Yes Isadora, I am quite aware. Hence the reason he was not expelled and is instead serving what I consider to be a record-breaking number of detentions." Isadora looked like she wanted to say something else but Dumbledore raised his hand gently and she bit her lip. "I know that Sirius has a good heart. He is simply…rash. But that is neither her nor there. What I wanted to discuss with you was the contents of their story."

"Their story?"

"Their explanation for what had happened. Now everything is clear to me except for one point. When Severus approached Remus in the Shrieking Shack, he was hit in the head and knocked unconscious. Then along came James and Sirius who managed to subdue the werewolf and get Severus out of there. How do you suppose they managed that?"

Isadora shrugged, "With their wands?"

Dumbledore eyed her suspiciously. "That's what they said. It doesn't seem quite right to me though. To subdue a werewolf is a difficult task, never mind the fact that they are still students."

Isadora straightened up a little. "They are both very talented wizards." She paused and gave a small laugh. "It's funny. I've never seen either of them so much as crack open a book and yet, they pass every test and never so much as fumble a spell."

Dumbledore studied her for a second trying to ascertain whether or not she was telling the truth. Apparently, he was satisfied. A sound indicating amusement escaped from the back of his throat. "I suppose you're right. Those boys are immensely talented. I was hoping they might use it to pursue less havoc wreaking endeavors. But alas…"

He went silent and Isadora shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "All finished?" she asked. "I need to get some more studying done."

He nodded politely in her direction and she got up to leave. Her hand was on the door handle when he stopped her by saying her name. She turned around and looked at him curiously. "I'll have Fulton make arrangements for you to stay in Paris for the summer."

She smiled gratefully. She was going to leave but he stopped her again. "Ah, I nearly almost forgot." Dumbledore came out from behind his desk and approached her. Isadora noticed that he had something in his hand, a plainly wrapped package. He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently before giving her the package. Dumbledore looked down at her and she saw that his eyes glittered with love and admiration from behind his half-moon spectacles. "Your parents would be so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. The young woman you've become…I know you're going to do marvelously on your exams. I hope you enjoy this," he indicated the package he had placed in her hands. "Maybe it will help to relieve some of your anxieties. Happy birthday."

Isadora winced a little. She hadn't told anyone about that and she was secretly hoping that he had forgotten. But he never forgot. Even though they had seen very little of each other over the years, he had always remembered to send her a birthday present. "Thanks," she mumbled and quickly left his office, stuffing the package into her cloak as she walked.

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Isadora made her way not to the library but to Gryffindor Tower. And when she arrived in the common room she made her way up the staircase on the left, not the one on the right. She stopped outside the door labeled "Marauders," steeled herself by taking a deep breath and rapped her knuckles quickly on the door. She heard a soft "come in," and slowly opened the door to peek inside.

The dormitory was the messiest that she had ever seen it. Usually, it was the area around Peter's bed that was the worst but on this particular occasion, the whole room looked just as bad, even the floor surrounding Remus's space. Isadora scanned her eyes quickly around the room and saw only James and Remus there, lying on their beds. James looked up as she entered but his eyes didn't register much of a response. "Sirius isn't here," he said lazily.

"It doesn't matter," she said hesitantly. "I just had to talk to any one of you really." She stepped into the room and closed the door gently without waiting for an invitation. She made her way towards the boys and stood uncomfortably near the end of James' bed. She had an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu, as she had stood there just a week earlier, frantically trying to wake up James to warn him of the trouble that Sirius had gotten himself into. She shifted nervously on her feet as she spoke. "I just wanted to warn you boys about…well, I spoke to Dumbledore just now."

"About what?" asked James sharply. Remus just stared at her, his eyes passive and stationary.

"About what happened last week. He was…concerned," she finished uncertainly.

"About what?" asked Remus, his attention now held.

"About how they managed to stop you," she nodded towards James as she said this. "When you were a werewolf I mean."

"What did you say?" asked James quickly.

"I didn't tell him," she responded, nearly cutting him off. "I figured you didn't tell him about you and Sirius and Peter. I think he believed me." James relaxed visibly but Remus remained tense. "I don't think he'll ask me about it again, or you. I just thought I'd warn you. Just…you should be careful is all."

Both James and Remus remained silent and after standing uncomfortably for another few seconds she turned around to leave. Before she could reach the door though, James had spoken, "Hey, Isadora." She stopped and turned back around to stare at him. "Thanks…Thanks for not saying anything. That's pretty cool of you."

She nodded at him. She was about to leave but stopped and considered something. She made up her mind and walked back over towards their beds. "Look," she said. "I know it's probably none of my business but I just wanted to talk to you about Sirius." If James was relaxed before, he was clearly on edge now. "It's just that…he's really upset over what happened. I know he won't say anything to the two of you but he really does know that what he did was wrong. He is sorry. I just…I feel bad for him. He's lonely without you two."

"He has you," said James nonchalantly. Remus looked just as uncaring as his friend.

"No, he doesn't," she said softly. "He broke up with me—we broke up—it doesn't matter. Just…don't be too hard on him, okay? He wasn't trying to expose your secret or hurt you guys or anything like that. He was just…being Sirius. You know what he's like…just try and get over it all right? He needs someone right now." The boys remained silent and Isadora made her way out of their room and straight up to her dormitory.

When she reached her room, she found herself alone. Good. She removed the package that Dumbledore had given her from her cloak and hung the garment on her chair. She sat down on her bed and stared at the brown paper package. Clearly, it was a book. Isadora sighed and began to delicately unwrap the present. When she saw what it was, her heart nearly broke.

It was a very old French edition of a muggle book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Isadora's breath caught in her throat and she almost collapsed.

It was the book that her father used to read to her when she was little. They would spend long hours together in their living room, snuggled up on the couch. He always called her his little Alice, telling her that she would have even grander adventures than her favorite heroine.

When her parents died, Isadora insisted that she leave the house in France that she had spent most of her life in. She was young at the time, but adamant. She never wanted to step foot in that place again. Her parents had owned many properties but that particular house held too many memories for her. Dumbledore had acquiesced and she went to live at Angelline Manor in England until she started school a few years later at Beauxbatons Academy. The house wasn't completely foreign to her. It had been in her family for nearly a hundred years and she used to holiday there with her parents all the time.

When she moved there though, she didn't bother looking through her parent's former possessions. Most of it was saved and brought to the Manor but much of it had been lost along the way. Isadora's greatest regret was that she had never bothered to save the book that her father used to read to her.

The copy that Dumbledore had given her was nearly identical. Her childhood memories came rushing back and Isadora clung to the book like a lifeline, failing to repress the tears that seemed to come so often these days. She lay down on her bed and didn't move for hours. She skipped dinner and when her roommates returned to the dormitory, she feigned sleep. But sleep never came. She lay motionless in bed the entire night, her features gently lit by the moonlight streaming in through the window. In the morning, she got ready and left the dorm before her roommates woke.

Isadora carried the book around with her, hidden in her bag for the rest of term.

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