Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. I also do not own Brothers and Sisters.

A/N...Some of you have already read and reviewed this. As you know, FF was down all weekend. I was able to post this yesterday but I never got any alerts that I had posted it. I realized FF was still not working one-hundred percent properly, so I pulled it so that I could post it again when FF was working. Now things appear to be back to normal so I am re-posting it. Enjoy! Just remember...things usually get worse before they get better.

Chapter 21

BPOV

Sunday December 14, 2003: Age 16

I made it out of the driveway without anyone noticing. They really are oblivious to the things that I do. When I got out to the stop sign that lead to the main road…I had a brief thought that I should turn around and go home.

What kind of mother was I being right now?

Cam had just gotten home…and I was leaving her…to do what? Go get high. Yes, that was me…Bella Swan, mother of the year.

But then I remembered why she was gone in the first place and that her father hates me. He will probably be glad when he realizes I was gone. Then, he could just be an amazing father to Camilla and not worry about me getting in his way.

My decision was made and I pushed my foot down on the gas pedal. I was on my way to Charlie's.

I was very thankful when I pulled into Charlie's driveway. Both his and Sue's cars were gone. This was good news. I grabbed my shoebox, got out of the truck, and headed to the front door.

When I got up to the porch, Leah opened the door giggling, and pulled me inside the house.

"How did you know I was here?"

Seth grabbed me around the waist from behind me. "Jesus Bella, we can hear that fucking truck of yours a mile away."

I did not like Seth touching me. I thought at one time…I was sexually attracted to him…but that was not the case now. There was only one person I was interested in having sex with, and he did not want me.

I pulled my body away from Seth's. "Aw, Bells, come on, don't be like that. Leah and I are just having some fun. I want you close to me."

He pulled me back to his chest. He was two years younger than I was, but he was freaking huge. He looked like he was eighteen years old!

"Yeah Bells, you obviously came here for a reason. Don't be a party pooper! Mommy and Daddy are gone until tomorrow and it is definitely party time!"

"Where did your parents go?" I asked them.

"Who gives a shit?" Seth said into my hair. He was making me quite uncomfortable.

"Okay…that is just grossing me out! I am related to both of you! Seth, stop groping my sister!"

Seth laughed and did not let go of me. "Shut it Leah…or I will shut it for you! She's your sister…not mine."

When he finished his sentence, he started nuzzling his nose into my neck. I pulled away once again. "Seth! Let go of me! I did not come here to be groped!"

His eyes turned dark and he glared at me. "Oh, I get it. You used to want to fuck my brains out." I looked at him in shock. I did not know he realized I felt that way. He smirked at me and continued, "That's right. I saw the way you looked at me. But now, that your little Cullen boy toy is back in town, I'm not good enough for you!" He leaned into me and snarled, "We'll see about that Bells…we shall see."

The way he said it, sent a cold chill down my spine. Then he left the room. Leah rolled her eyes. "Don't let him bother you. We were just getting ready to leave. We started the party here…but we are going to a real party. Want to join us?"

"Y…yes," I said. I shoved my shoebox into her hand.

"What's this?"

"It's my private stash. I need…something…before we head to this party."

She nodded in understanding. "You know where the couch is. Go get comfortable and do what you need to. I am going to go get Seth. He is probably pouting up in his room like the fucker that he is."

"Okay," I told her in a whisper.

I sat down on the couch and placed the shoebox on the coffee table in front of me. I removed the lid from the box and stared at the contents inside of it. These used to be my best friends…my only friends.

I knew that if I did this, there was no turning back.

I took out the small mirror, the razor blade, and the little bag of white goodness. "Hello, my old friend," I said as I got ready to do my first line.

EPOV

Sunday December 14, 2003: Age 18

I stayed in Bella's room and looked around for any type of clues. I found nothing. There were many thoughts running through my mind. Was she relapsing again? Should I tell her family? That would make things worse…wouldn't it?

I did not know what to do. When I heard voices coming up the stairs, I made a command decision. I had not damaged the door when I got it open so I should be able to keep it closed. I left her room and pulled the door gently behind me.

I saw Esme at the top of the stairs, about to head towards Bella's room. I walked towards her and met her before she could go that way. "Is she alright?" She asked me in a gentle voice.

"Yes…she's fine. She's sleeping."

"I should go and check on her. She must be hungry. She really has not eaten anything since this whole mess started."

Esme started to walk around me but I stopped her. "Esme…please…just let her sleep for now. She was really upset."

"Oh…okay. I guess that will be fine. I think she should be with her daughter though, instead of sleeping. But…if you think this is for the best…I will let her sleep."

"I do," I told her softly.

I followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen for dinner. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But, I was trying to protect my family and keep us together. Bella and Camilla were my family. They meant more to me than anything.

I also knew that I could not leave to go and look for her at this moment. It would raise too many suspicions. Besides, if Bella was doing what I feared she was doing, she had some explaining to do.

I could not worry about her making bad choices right now. My daughter needed one of her parents and I damn sure was not going to abandon her.

BPOV

Sunday December 14, 2003: Age 16

The three of us were flying high on the way to the party. Leah was driving and we were singing along to Fake It by Seether, on the radio.

Seth had pulled me into the backseat with him. I was so high, I let him. I felt amazing and he was only going to make that better.

Unfortunately, it did not take long to get to the party. All we were able to manage in the short drive was some heavy making out with one another.

Seth pulled me from the car and then pressed me up against it. "We…will…finish…this…later," he told me with authority in his voice.

I just nodded and giggled.

Leah grabbed both of our hands and led us towards the house. "Let's go, losers. You two can fuck later."

The party was amazing. There were more drugs and booze there than I had ever seen in one place in my entire life.

Good times.

Still BPOV

Monday December 15, 2003: Age 16

I woke up and felt something heavy on top of me. I looked down, Seth's face was nestled in between my boobs, and he had his arms wrapped around me.

I pulled my body out from under him. I looked around and realized I was in his room. Leah was passed out on the other side of him.

She was waking up as well. Leah grabbed her head. "Oh shit. My head fucking hurts!"

"What happened last night, Leah?" I asked her as I looked down and noticed Seth and I were both fully clothed. Thank god!

"Christ, Bella! We had a great fucking time…that's what happened. But, I swear to God, if you and Seth ever pull that shit again, I will kick both of your asses!"

"What shit?"

"You don't remember how you guys were about to start fucking each other…right here…in this bed…with me in the same damn room?" She asked incredulously.

"Um…no…I guess not."

"Yeah. Honestly, Bells, I expected as much from Seth. He's a horny little fucker. But you? I expected you to be able to hold your shit a little better!"

"So, Seth and I did not have sex?"

"Nope."

I was so happy about this. I did not want to have sex with him. I was going to have to be more careful.

Leah got up from the bed and headed into the bathroom. I looked at the clock on the bedside table. Shit! It was five in the morning! I had to get back home. Surely, they would have noticed by now that I was gone.

Edward was going to take Camilla away from me.

I scrambled off the bed and hollered to Leah that I was leaving. I jumped into my truck and sped home.

When I climbed back through my window, the lights were still off in my room. It was still dark outside and I did not see anyone in my room. Yes! I made it without being caught. If Mom had realized I was gone, she would have been waiting in my room for me to return.

I walked to my dresser to change into some pajamas. Then I heard it…the click of the lamp on my bedside table and the voice of someone very angry.

"Where the fuck have you been? Do you have any idea what our daughter went through last night because of you?"

This was it. He was going to ream me because I allowed Camilla to be kidnapped. I knew that he thought it was my fault!

EPOV

Monday December 15, 2003: Age 18

I had not gotten any sleep. I was up all night with CC. She would not go to sleep last night. She wanted her mother. I knew exactly what was wrong with my daughter. I sat on Bella's bed, and waited for her to return. She had to come home at some point, unless she was lying in a ditch somewhere. I did not want to think about that.

A little after five in the morning, she climbed through her window. She did not say anything at first. She must not have realized I was in there.

When she went to her dresser to start changing, I turned on her bedside lamp and spoke to her. She jumped and turned around to face me.

"Edward," she said quietly.

"Well…it's nice to see you remember my fucking name. Do you remember Camilla, our daughter?"

"Of course I remember her! I am her mother!"

I laughed darkly at that. "Hmm…you could have fooled me."

She looked like I had slapped her in the face. Her expression went from shocked to angry. "Listen Edward, I am sorry okay! I am sorry that I am a bad mother and that Camilla was kidnapped because of me! We can't all be perfect parents like you are!" She sneered at me.

"Bella, what the hell are you talking about?"

She had me so confused.

"I am talking about the fact that you blame me for Cam getting kidnapped! That's what you meant when you asked me if I knew what she went through because of me!"

I shook my head. "No, Bella! CC being kidnapped was no one's fault but Victoria's! I would never blame you for that! I was talking about the fact that you took off last night and our daughter fucking needed you! She cried herself to sleep last night! I had to cover for your ass, again!"

She sat down on the bed beside me and her eyes were focused on her shoes.

"You covered for me again?"

"Yes," I said softly.

She put her head into her hands and started sobbing. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me. "Shhh, it's alright. Is that why you left? You thought I blamed you for CC being kidnapped."

She nodded into my chest.

"Jesus, Bella. I would never blame you for that. I know how much you love that baby."

I let her cry for a bit and glanced over to the crib where CC was still sound asleep. I was thankful that our raised voices had not woken her.

Bella continued to sob and I comforted her. What had she done last night? Where had she gone? Did I really want to know?

No…but I needed to know.

"Bella, what did you do last night?"

"Oh Edward, you're going to hate me! Please don't take Cam from me. I'll be better, I swear! Please, give me another chance! I can prove I am a good mother."

I pulled her back away from me so I could look into her eyes. They were bloodshot. She was hung over and I could tell she had been high.

Shit.

She really was a mess. God help me, I fucking loved her. She was too screwed up for me to tell her that right now. We needed to build a relationship together before I told her something that heavy. I really hoped that we could because my feelings for this girl ran deep.

"Bella…did you…slip again…last night?"

She nodded as the tears continued to spill from her eyes. Fuck! I was never going to be able to help her if she continued to relapse like this.

I pulled her back into my arms. "Bella, you need to get some help. I am not sure that I can do this by myself. We need to talk to your family."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on for dear life. She was hugging me so tight I almost felt like I could not breathe. Her sobs were coming harder and faster. She was freaking out on me.

"NO!! Please Edward, no! I will do better. You can help me, I swear. I won't slip again. I don't want to go away and leave Camilla. I don't want my family to know that I have been so weak. They will never forgive me! I know you can help me Edward!"

I wished I was as confident about that as she was.

Damn it. What was I going to do?

Camilla started crying softly from her crib. Bella instantly let go of me and rushed to her baby. She gently picked up Camilla and started rocking her in her arms.

"Shhh, baby girl. Mommy is here." She placed soft kisses on her tiny face and said, "I'm so sorry that I let you down. I won't do it again, sweetheart. I love you more than anything."

CC calmed down immediately. I knew then, I could not take her mother away from her. I would do what I had to do in order to protect my family.

I stood from the bed and grabbed Bella's elbow tenderly. I led her and our daughter back to the bed to sit. We sat down together and I wrapped my arms around the both of them.

I kissed Bella's forehead and said, "Okay, Bells. It will be our little secret. I will help you."

"Thank you, Edward. I swear it will be better. I won't do it again."

That statement could not have been farther from the truth.

A/N…I apologize for the lack of updates. Things have been crazy in real life. I am not going to make excuses. I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry. Things should calm down after the 17th. I am hoping to get back to a more normal update schedule then. Until that day, updates will happen when they happen. I apologize for that.

Thanks to keepingupwiththekids!

Also, if you review, I have a teaser for Chapter 22.