Chapter 21

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Alexis surprised her dad by taking the train home after her classes on Friday. She knew, from the sound of his voice on the phone, that everything had not turned out okay with Kate.

"Dad, what happened?" she asked softly after searching the house and finally finding him in Zoey's room, lying down on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

"We had a really big fight," he answered.

She pulled up a beanbag chair, resting her head on it and laying down beside him. "Was she mad at you?"

"I'm not sure," he said, "I think she was more angry at the people who caused the situation. Kate and I, we've never had a big fight before. Maybe we were due."

"But you guys are okay?" Alexis heard the beads move when her dad shook his head. She took in a deep breath, afraid to even ask. "Did she… did you break up?"

She felt the warmth of his hand as he reached for hers. "She's new to all of this, sweetie. She's not sure if she could live with all of the attention."

"You mean, live with us."

"No, Alexis," he squeezed her hand. "She loves you."

"So… so, why?" Alexis felt her throat tighten and she knew that tears weren't far behind. "What about me and Zoey?"

He sat up and looked down at her. "Honey, nothing will change between you two no matter what happens between me and Kate." Alexis knew that wouldn't be true. "Kate just thinks… we're trying to overcome our differences."

"But you guys are different in a good way!"

Her dad smiled but it contained no joy. "I hope she figures that out too," he said.

Alexis pushed herself up, asking with a glimmer of hope, "What do you mean? Are you both still thinking about it?"

"Well, Kate's thinking about it. She's staying at her dad's house this weekend with Zoey." He pulled her into a tight, consolatory hug. "I'm pretty sure Kate knows how I feel."

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Alexis was a doer. She couldn't just sit around and wait for her dad and Kate to get their acts together.

(That and she might have been just a little bit pissed at Kate.)

Either way, she needed answers, even if that meant she might end up getting one she didn't like.

Needless to say, Kate was surprised to see her. "Alexis! I didn't know you were coming home this weekend."

"Well, I hadn't been planning to," she replied, stepping into the unfamiliar house.

Kate took her coat and led her into the living room. "How did you get here?" she asked.

"I drove dad's car. He has this address saved in his GPS." Alexis tried to give Kate a pointed look. "I always see Zo on the weekends I come home. That's why I had to drive here."

For a split second, Kate looked guilty. Then, "Where does your dad think you are?"

"Out shopping."

"Alexis…"

Alexis averted her eyes and spotted Kate's dad coming out of the kitchen. "Hi, Mr. Beckett," she greeted, hoping it would work to sidetrack Kate.

He smiled at her. "Hello, Alexis. Don't mind me," he said, "I'm just going to go upstairs. I'll leave you two to talk."

Kate turned back to Alexis as soon as he had disappeared up the steps. "Zoey's taking a nap right now."

Alexis knew that. She wondered if Kate suspected that she had purposely planned it that way.

"Do you want something to eat?" Kate asked when Alexis didn't immediately say anything.

Just as Kate made a movement to get up off the couch, Alexis blurted, "Don't break up with dad. He loves you."

Kate sighed and sat back down. "That's between me and your dad."

"No, it isn't," Alexis responded, hoping her voice didn't betray how upset she was feeling. "You… you're a part of my life now, too."

"And I will continue to be a part of your life," Kate replied.

"So, you've made your decision then?" Alexis' eyes widened, sadness flickering briefly across her features before being pushed out by panic. "What about me and Zoey? Zoey's my little sister!"

"Alexis, no matter what happens – you and Zoey's relationship doesn't have to change."

"That's what dad said," she retorted, "But you're both lying. You're lying." Alexis yanked her hand away when Kate reached for it. "Do you know that I see you and Zoey more than I talk to my own mom? Do you know that when I have something that I can't talk to dad about, the first person I go to is you? Dad taught Zoey the ABCs but I taught her how to count to ten. It's not just dad who loves you, okay? I love you, too."

Kate took her by the shoulders, grasping firmly. "Alexis, I love you, too. Don't you ever question that."

"Then why are you doing this?" She couldn't help it. Tears started to run down her face. "Don't you understand that we're a family?"

"Alexis, your dad and I – we don't mean to hurt you. We would never want you to get in the middle of all of this."

"So don't break up!"

Kate let go of her and stared down at her lap. "There are a lot of things that need to be worked out."

"So, what? Is this going to be like my mom and dad's divorce except now I'm old enough to understand? Are you guys going to have joint custody of me and Zoey?"

"Alexis, I just told your dad that I needed some space. Nothing has happened—"

"—yet," Alexis cut in. "Nothing has happened yet." She jumped up angrily. "Now I understand why dad stopped me from meeting so many of his girlfriends. Why he prevented me from getting to know them. Even from Gina, he protected me from getting too close."

"No," Kate's voice was practically a whisper, "You and I aren't like th—"

Alexis didn't let Kate finish. "Yes, we are! You're just like the rest of them," she spat out, "They all end up leaving."

Alexis was glad when Kate didn't respond because she was on a roll. She was furious now, yelling, "You're being selfish, Kate. You're just dragging him along and getting his hopes up! So, just break up with him already so that we can start getting over you!"

With that, Alexis stormed away, making sure to slam the front door on her way out.

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Kate didn't cry very often. She hadn't even cried when she and Castle had had their fight. But when Alexis had walked out on her – as soon as she had heard the front door slam shut – Kate had broken down.

She had stopped trying to console Alexis midway through the conversation. Clearly the girl needed to vent. The words that had come out of her mouth, though… Kate was crestfallen. She had never felt so wretched and guilty and ashamed.

It took Kate a couple of minutes to realise that she never heard the car turn on. She swiped at her eyes and went to the hallway closet where Alexis' jacket was still where she had hung it. Digging through the pockets, she heard the jangle of keys. "Shit," she said, under her breath.

"Katie?"

She turned around at her dad's soft voice and for some reason, seeing him there all sympathetic caused her to break out into a fresh batch of tears. He walked over and pulled her into a hug. Kate clung on as tightly as Zoey did to her when she got upset. "I screwed everything up, didn't I?" she sobbed.

Wisely, he chose not to respond until she pulled away herself, slightly embarrassed at still needing her daddy's shoulder to cry on. "Come on," he said, leading her into the kitchen so he could get her some tissues.

By the time Kate accepted the glass of water he handed her, she was slightly calmer. Her dad looked uncomfortable, though and she sighed. "Just say it, dad," she said.

"Katie, you're my little girl," he started, "And there's nothing I want more than for you to be happy."

"I already know what you're going to say, dad. You think Castle's the one who will make me happy, right?"

"Listen to me first, Katherine, before you brush me off."

It had been a while since her father had scolded her. She shut her mouth immediately.

"I can count the number of boyfriends you've introduced me to on three fingers," he continued, "So, I know Rick must be somebody special. And more than that, I think that he's good for you."

"That's what Lanie tells me," Kate said, slightly annoyed, "Castle's good for me because he's so carefree and fun while I'm too serious."

"Well, that might be true to some extent when you're on the job but Katie, I don't think your personality is lacking in fun and adventure. You've always been a little rebellious."

Kate's lips quirked up at that. Her dad would certainly know just how much trouble she could get herself into. "So what is it then?" she asked, "Why do you think he's so good for me?"

Her dad gave her a sad smile. "Because Katie, you've always been a protector. The strong one. Even when it came to this family." He paused. "And there's not a day that goes by where I don't regret forcing you into that position."

"Oh, dad… don't—"

He held up a hand. "No, let me finish," he said. "Being strong is a wonderful thing and having those protective instincts means that you take care of the people around you but you also have to take care of yourself, Katie.

"Right now, you're trying to protect Zoey by foregoing your own happiness because you think that it would be better for her. But, I think in this case, you've neglected a very important piece of information."

"What?"

"That Rick is a protector, too." He gave her another sad smile. "I can see how much you care for each other, Katie – it reminds me a little of your mom and I. I think, for you, it's admitting that connection that's so hard.

"And, you know, you two are more alike than you think. On the surface, you and Rick might seem to be as different as night and day but deep down, you both know what's worth protecting."

"So, you do think I'm in the wrong, then," Kate said.

"No, that's not what I said. But, what I do think is that he's putting himself out there and you're ignoring his attempts to make things right again. He can't control what the media says about your family as much as you can, Katie."

"I know that," Kate responded, a little petulantly.

"Right, well, unlike you, I think he has the means to make sure they don't write something like this again. And, if they do, I would bet good money that he will try very hard to shield you from it."

Kate looked down at the shredded pieces of tissue in her hand. "How can you be so sure, dad?"

He smiled. "Don't be afraid to commit, Katherine." Then, because he knew exactly what circumstances had made his daughter so apprehensive, he added softly, "He won't leave you."

Kate's eyes welled up, along with her dad's, as the image of Johanna Beckett danced across their memories.

"Oh crap," Kate said suddenly, breaking the moment. "Alexis."

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Only about twenty minutes had passed since Alexis had left. She had her cellphone but not her wallet (which was in her purse, also in the car) so she couldn't have gone very far. Kate knew that she was probably just walking off her anger and would return on her own but still, she sent her dad out to drive around and look for her – giving him her cellphone number in the hopes that she would at least answer him (because she certainly didn't answer when Kate tried).

Meanwhile, Kate was sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, staring at the cordless phone in her hand. She took a deep breath and dialled.

"Hello?" came the answer on the second ring.

For some reason, when he answered, Kate was overcome with the urge to cry (again) – as if she had finally realised how much she could have potentially screwed up.

When she didn't answer, Castle said softly, "Kate?"

Kate cleared her throat. "Yeah, Castle. It's me," her voice still sounded raspy.

"I know that. Your dad's home number shows up on my caller display as 'Papa Beckett'."

Kate couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. "Seriously?"

"No," he answered. And then came that damn sincerity, "I just wanted to hear you laugh."

Kate took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. "Alexis is here," she said.

"What?" Now he sounded confused. "No, she's out shopping with some friends."

"No, Castle. She came over to see me."

"Dammit, Alexis," he murmured under his breath.

"It's okay, Castle," she said, "I just think you should come over and get her."

"Yeah, of course."

"She… she shouldn't be driving right now," Kate said.

"Oh, Kate, what happened?"

"We both… she just got a little emotional."

Kate stopped speaking when she heard the front door open and close, followed by her dad's voice. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Alexis' as well. She tucked herself further into the corner of the counter when the two of them walked past the kitchen on their way up the stairs.

She spoke again, only when she was sure they were out of earshot. "She's fine now, Castle."

"Okay, well, I'm on my way." A pause and then, "Wait a second, she took my car?"

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In an eerie repeat of the last time, Castle stood nervously on Jim Beckett's porch two hours later (after taking two cabs and a train). Unlike the last time, though, when Jim opened the door, he let Castle in without an interrogation and with a pat on the back. "Katie's in the kitchen."

Kate had just finished cutting up two peanut butter and banana sandwiches. She looked up when she heard his footsteps. Their eyes met.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey."

Jim slipped in between the two of them and grabbed the two plates on the table. "I'll just take these up to the girls," he said and disappeared.

Kate took her time closing up the jar of peanut butter and putting it back in the fridge. Castle helped her clear the table. Both ended up at the sink: he, to wash the knife and she, to wash her hands.

He dropped the knife into the drying rack and before he could turn away, her hand reached out to grab his wrist. They looked at each other.

His eyes told her that he had said everything he had to say and expressed everything he wanted her to know. It made the last lingering uncertainty in her eyes disappear.

"I'm—" she began.

She got cut off when his lips crushed against hers. She released his wrist immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck, the cold water from her hands making him shiver slightly. Their mouths parted, tongues darting out to taste each other as if it had been forever since they had kissed.

She broke away. "—sorry," she finished, breathlessly.

"I will come back for you every time, Kate," he said, "I will chase you even if you tell me to stop because I know you don't mean it. But, Kate," he gripped her hands, "I really hope I don't have to."

"I'm all in, Castle," she said, those damn tears threatening another comeback, "I'm tired of running."

He kissed her again. Gentle and quick because he knew there would be a lifetime of long and passionate. "You don't have to do it alone."

She blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear the moisture from her eyes. "Don't have to do what alone?" she replied because she had to say something in order to quell that lump in her throat.

A beat while he waited for her to meet his eyes.

"Any of it," he said. And then, she did cry.

A/N: Only a short one this time: I just wanted to take the opportunity to say thank you for all of your reviews and comments. I really, really appreciate them. Some of you have reviewed for every single chapter of this story and you have no idea how happy that makes me :) Honestly, sometimes I can't believe I've actually written this much but as long as you guys keep reading/are still interested, I'm happy to please. -Violet.