Merlin sat for long moments looking down at Arthur sleeping in his arms. Despite the peaceful scene before his eyes, his brain was abuzz. He hadn't planned on asking Arthur to spend time amongst the Druids. It had been a spur-of-the-moment idea that he had voiced without really thinking through the practicalities of such a journey. What had he been thinking? Where had the idea even come from?
He felt his body morphing back into it's own shape and the dress grow a little tight across his shoulders. He pulled the scarf from his head and gathered up the hair pins that fell down onto the sleeping Arthur now that they no longer had any hair to hold back. He rolled them all up carefully in the scarf and laid it aside. He gazed down at the King's lips and unconsciously touched his own. He could still taste Arthur's breath in his mouth.
The kiss had not been planned either. He had done it in the moment of panic as he felt the spell wearing off. Despite that, it had been...wonderful. Again. If anything, even better than the last one they had shared.
Merlin puffed out a breath and ran a hand over his forehead in consternation. Nice as it was to nothing should ever happen between the King and the Sorceress because she didn't actually exist. Gaius had not been exaggerating when he had warned Merlin that the King was emotionally extremely vulnerable after Gwen's betrayal and Merlin knew intellectually that the things that his treacherous heart were making him do whilst he was in disguise could potentially lead to disaster.
Even so...
Merlin stroked blonde hair back from Arthur's forehead and let out an involuntary whimper at the peaceful sleeping face, the lips a little puffy from the kiss and wearing a slight smile. Merlin sighed deeply and gently laid Arthur's head on the cloak, gathered up the scarf and hairpins and walked slowly back to the cave to change back into his own clothes.
As he pulled on his trousers and tunic, he resolved to persuade the King not to visit the druids.
Once the disguise was safely packed back into the bottom of the saddlebag, Merlin squatted beside Arthur and took one more look at his restful face before gently shaking his shoulder and quietly casting a spell to wake him up.
Arthur came round slowly, rolling onto his back still with the small smile still on his face. He blinked his eyes open and squinted until they focused. Slowly the smile melted from his lips as he realised that it was Merlin, not The Dolma ('no, Niamh', he corrected himself mentally) that blinked down at him.
"Oh, it's just you." he said in a voice that could not mask his disappointment.
The smile that had been playing on Merlin's lips as he shook the King awake melted away at Arthur's words and were replaced by a frown and a pout. He glared down at Arthur for a few seconds and then turned away and angrily began packing up the saddlebag and getting the horses ready for the return journey.
"Oh don't be like that, Merlin", said Arthur in an exasperated tone, slowly getting to his feet.
"We should go now if you want to be back by sundown." said Merlin tersely, climbing up into his saddle and riding back toward the tree line.
Arthur tutted and rolled his eyes. "Merlin, wait!", he called.
"What for?" said Merlin flatly, reluctantly slowing his horse down but not turning round.
"For your King", replied Arthur without much conviction.
Merlin simply huffed in reply and still did not turn round.
Arthur frowned at his back and clipped on his cloak and mounted his own horse. He walked it toward the tree line where Merlin waited but before he reached his manservant,
Merlin had moved off into the forest, still resolutely facing forward.
Arthur was exasperated at his servant's behavior. He was certain that other nobles, indeed Kings, would never put up with such disrespect. Though he was loathe to admit it in front of the maddening fellow, he saw Merlin more as a friend and an advisor so perhaps put up with more than he should. Even so. At the moment Merlin was being downright rude and he couldn't quite work out why...it wasn't as if he'd insulted him or anything, had he?
After a good fifteen minutes of riding in uncomfortable silence, Arthur could take not more.
"Don't you want to know what happened, what we talked about?" he asked.
In reply Merlin simply shrugged one shoulder, still not looking back at Arthur.
They rode a little further, Merlin still said nothing.
"What she said involves you, you know." said Arthur, conversationally, looking at Merlin's tight tense shoulders.
"Does it." said Merlin in a flat disinterested voice.
"Merlin what is wrong with you?", asked Arthur in frustration, "why are you being so...impossible?"
Finally Merlin deigned to look at him, wheeling around in his saddle and spitting out, "Why would you even care, since it's 'just me'. I'm only a servant after all. What does it matter what I think?" He turned back around and carried on riding doggedly in the direction of Camelot. "Or feel." he added quietly.
"Merlin", said Arthur, a little exasperated but also a little pleading. "I didn't mean it like that. You know I value your...opinion and - er- comradeship."
"Do I, Sire?" said Merlin tonelessly, still riding forward.
"Yes you do." said Arthur, riding up beside him and catching hold of his arm and pulling him to a halt. "I'm...sorry...if I have hurt your feelings. It was not intended. It is simply that the Dolma was so enchanting and the conversation with her was so stimulating that I was disappointed that it ended so quickly."
Merlin glared at the arm on his sleeve and then up at Arthur's face. The King noticed the unshed tears that clouded his eyes but did not mention it. "Truly Merlin", he said earnestly, "I meant no insult. I was...thoughtless."
"Well, that would make a change." said Merlin sarcastically, the beginning of a smile on his lips and his eyes softening.
"That's more like it!" said Arthur, smiling a little uncertainly back at him and patting his shoulder. "Come on", he said fondly, "Let's get home." As he spoke he cupped Merlin's neck in his hand for a few moments, then gently ruffled his hair the wrong way.
Merlin huffed in mock annoyance but grinned almost immediately which ruined the effect somewhat. Arthur moved off again and this time Merlin fell in step beside him.
"So", said Arthur after a few moments, obviously bursting to share his news, "The Dolma has a name."
Merlin looked over at him as though he was simple. "Yes, Arthur - she's called 'The Dolma'." he said dryly.
This earned him a nudge from the King. "To you, maybe", he said smugly, "but I" (be pointed at his chest with a smug, proud look on his face) "I am on first name terms with her."
"ooooOOOOoooo", cooed Merlin, "fancy that!"
"Now, stop that, Merlin", said Arthur in a mock-stern voice, "It's not like that."
"Isn't it?", teased the manservant, grinning over at him.
"Well...", said Arthur, then looked ahead pensively.
"Well?", prompted Merlin.
"Shut up, Merlin", was all the reply he got.
They rode on quietly for a while longer. Merlin mulled over the fact that his King had just all-but admitted that he had feelings for The Dolma and wondered what he should do about that. He was a little startled when Arthur suddenly announced, "She wishes me to spend time with the Druids and you must show me where they are."
"Eh, what?", said Merlin, "What's that, now?"
"The Dolma", clarified Arthur slowly, "said that to prove I am truly willing to change the laws on magic then I must spend some time amongst the Druids that are camped in the Forest of Essitir."
"Is that a good idea?", asked Merlin, "Your family history with the druids isn't great."
Arthur was quiet for a few moments. "I would be lying if I said that I don't have concerns", he said, "but The Dolma was insistent that they are good, peaceful people and they will accept my gesture and welcome us in. I...trust her judgement."
"Hmm", said Merlin, non-commitaly. "Aren't you worried that she is sending us into a trap?"
The King looked over at his manservant with a frown. "Oh do make your mind up Merlin!", he said in an exasperated tone, "Only the other day you were telling me off for being suspicious of them and now you're talking about traps!"
Merlin looked at him for long moments before conceding, "Fair point, Sire", a few moments later, he added, "though perhaps a Knight or two would be a wise precaution."
"Absolutely not." said Arthur. "For one, Essitir is not in my Kingdom and to blatantly ride through with Knights of Camelot would be seen as a challenge to Cendred. Secondly, and more importantly, The Dolma insisted that it should be just you and me."
"Good gods, you really do trust this woman, don't you?", said Merlin looking searchingly at the King.
"Yes, I believe I do.", replied Arthur after a few moments. "As I said before, I see only good within her, and I truly believe that with her help I may be able to right some of the wrongs done to her kind by my father."
"Wow", said Merlin simply, not taking his eyes from his master until he felt tears began to prick at the corners then he looked ahead again so that Arthur would not notice them forming. Despite having resolved to talk Arthur out of the trip to the Forest of Essitir he realized in that moment just how committed his King was to making amends to the followers of the Old Religion and those with magic. It was more than he had ever dreamed could be possible. He coughed a little to banish the emotional crack in his voice before adding, "So...wh-when are you thinking of making this trip?"
Arthur was quiet for a while before answering, "Soon - as soon as possible."
"Won't the Knights start to get suspicious?, asked Merlin, "Won't they wonder why we're disappearing without them again? And for a few days, this time?"
"I thought about that", replied Arthur looking over at him, "I shall tell them that there have been rumours of sightings of the Queen unaccompanied in the forest of Essitir. I shall insist that I go with just my manservant and without a retinue in order not to alarm her and to try to convince her to return."
"Do you think they'll believe that?", asked Merlin incredulously.
"They will if it's you that reports that there have been sightings.", replied Arthur, "They trust you as much as I do."
Merlin's heart swelled a little at that. Despite that he asked, "...and you think they'll let us go unaccompanied?"
"I shall insist, Merlin", replied Arthur with finality, "I can be very insistent."
"I noticed." replied Merlin dryly.
Arthur looked over at him and grinned. "It's decided then", he said with finality. "Good."
As they finished speaking they reached the edge of the forest and farmland stretched before them. The towers of Camelot sparkled on the horizon.
"Race you home." said Arthur, still grinning and spurring his horse into a gallop.
Merlin rolled his eyes and took off after his King. The feeling of the wind in his hair, the galloping horse beneath him, the sight of his King riding at full speed ahead of him and the real chance of a future where magic was no longer outlawed made him smile broadly and to shout out his exhilaration to the blue sky.