Reflections and Realizations

Still Own Nothing (sigh)

Bernadette sat with her husband on the couch fiddling with her fingers just a bit. "So… Howie… I'm so sorry that I was being terrible to you and not letting you listen to Neil Diamond… and I really don't mean to treat you like a child…"

Howard took a sip of his wine thinking back to his trip with Amy and the experience in the hotel room. "That's okay, Neil was getting a bit old anyway…. The concert was fun, but I think I'm over with it… But what's all this about treating me like a child?"

Bernadette looked down. "A little bird told me that I treated you like a child and I should stop doing that because it hurt your feelings…"

Howard sighed. "I'm going to kill Raj".

Bernadette looked horrified. "It's true isn't it?" She then ran off to the bedroom.

Howard watched as she ran off. "Bernieeee…. Wait… Great! Now I'm REALLY gonna have to kill Raj". Howard got up and walked into the bedroom to find Bernadette crying into a pillow. "He sat down on the bed and rubbed her back. 'Bernie…. It Okay… you don't do it too much… although when Leonard and Penny came over to talk about how to deal with differences in their takehome pay… you did embarrass me a little… and maybe the gold stars for doing my chores is a little much…. And maybe the whole chart thing in general…"

Bernadette cried into the pillow some more. "You must hate me…"

Howard smiled. "Actually… just the opposite…"

Bernadette sat up… "We have the chart up because you never get the idea that things need to be done around here, and then you think I'm going to take care of all of them… like your mother did…. And the stars are so you could see what you did…."

Howard smiled wider… "I do stuff…"

Bernadette sat up. "Howie… throwing your dirty clothes in a pile because they need to get washed is not really helping…"

Howard sighed. Bernie…. I know that… maybe if you let me do things without…. Well… maybe I would just get them done."

Bernadette stuttered a bit. "W… w… without… what?"

Howard held her a little tighter. "Without… you know… nagging. I'll get to it… maybe not on your schedule… but I'll get to it… I promise."

Bernadette smiled and looked into the eyes of her husband and sniffled. "Will we have to get more clothes to make up for the lag time?"

Howard giggled a little. "Maybe just a few pairs of underwear… and some more coffee mugs… and possibly a plate or two… Or we could just go out for takeout… again…"

Bernadette laughed. "Okay… Howie… we'll give it a try…"

Raj stepped into the apartment and closed the door and looked directly at Leonard. "What have you got to say for yourself?"

Leonard was surprised by Raj's tone. He put down the coffee mug in his hand. His Jaw was slack… he was trying to come up with the right words, but nothing was coming out.

Emily pulled the towel tighter. She reached out to Raj. "It's not what it looks like".

Raj took a step back. "Not what it LOOKS LIKE? I'll tell you what it LOOKS like!"

Leonard stepped between Raj and Emily. "Raj, I can explain."

Raj turned to his supposed friend and held up a hand. "No…!"

Emily looked surprised. "Raj… looks are deceiving…"

Raj turned back to Emily, the surprised anger draining from his face and being replaced with disappointment. "It looks like you couldn't come to terms with the hookup that Penny and I had… so you had to get together with this half glass of white milk over here."

Leonard was getting annoyed. "There was no hookup… and that was just mean… and a little racist".

Emily put her hands on her hips. "What are you insinuating?"

Raj mimicked her pose. "Just that you are so jealous about Penny's and mine innocent night together… that you had to make it even!"

Emily poked her finger at Raj. The towel was getting just a little looser. "Innocent? Really Raj? Innocent? You both got NAKED… in the same room… She helped you put on a CONDOM! THAT is not INNOCENT!"

Leonard tried to interject. "Nothing happened".

Emily and Raj both turned to look at Leonard. "SHUT UP!"

Emily then looked at Raj. "Nothing happened only because…."

Raj broke in. "That's not important".

Emily turned and walked into the living room. "It wasn't important that you climbed into bed with a naked woman?"

Raj followed Emily into the living room. "This isn't about Penny… this is about you and Leonard."

Leonard looked into the living room. "There is NO her and Leonard…"

Emily spun to look at Leonard. "Again… SHUT UP!" She then moved to go into her bedroom. Raj followed.

Leonard took that as a cue to get the heck outta Dodge. He picked up his shoes, Hoodie and Jacket and made his way out of the building and down to the Bus Stop.

Emily stood her ground as she glared at Raj. "What do you think you are doing? Coming in here and accusing me of…. Of…"

Raj didn't back down. Emily found his attitude strangely stimulating. This was the first time Raj could remember that he actually had a back bone when it came to women. "What I'm doing?… I'll tell you what I'm doing… I'm interrupting whatever was going on between my Naked girlfriend and my supposed friend Leonard just so she could get back at HIS girlfriend for having a naked night with me!"

Emily's excitement started to turn to anger. She slapped Raj. "Just who do you think you are? And just how much of a slut do you think I am?" Emily started to tear up.

Raj held is face. "I think that I am the person that is in love with you and…."

Emily turned away. "So in love with me that you thought I would bed your friend just to get back at his girlfriend?"

Raj stepped closer and reached for Emily's shoulder. "I… I am sorry… that was probably something I should have handled better… It's just that I never know what is going to happen between us… you are always kidding about "cutting" someone and then you are into this "dark side" of things and the creepy DVD's…"

Emily turned and could see the disappointment in Raj's eyes. "I'm just pretty protective of myself… It's hard to open yourself up to someone… they usually just hurt you in the end".

Raj looked into her eyes. "That is not who I am."

Emily smiled slightly. "I can see that"… this was a completely different Raj… "you were like a house on fire… so sexy… and just so you know… nothing was going on… I just happened to get out of the shower".

Raj pulled Emily closer. "Yeah? Well maybe something SHOULD happen…" Raj then spun Emily a bit while grabbing the edge of the towel, removing it and stepping aside looking at her."

Emily smiled. "Like what you see?" She then pulled him close and kissed him before taking his hand and moving them both to the bed.

Amy came to the top of the stairs and looked at the door to 4A. Not really knowing what she would find behind the door, and realizing that whatever it was going to be, she had a large part in forcing the outcome. Steeling herself against any negative thoughts while thinking the better part of valor was to knock, Amy quietly rapped on the door noticing that she immediately took in a large breath and held it.

Sheldon calmly walked over to the door knowing full well that Penny had not been gone long enough to have actually gotten dinner. Amusing himself with thoughts of being locked out of the apartment years before, he smiled. "Did you forget your key?" As Sheldon opened the door, he was more than slightly surprised to see who was at the door. "Amy? What are you doing here?"

Amy looked a little concerned. She asked, "Is Penny here?" while she craned her neck trying to take in as much of the apartment as she could before Sheldon could close the door on her.

Sheldon saw the attempt to acquire knowledge of what was going on in the apartment and stepped aside to let Amy in. "Please, that must be uncomfortable, please come in. Penny is not here at the moment". Amy immediately exhaled.

Amy walked in and placed her purse on the far side of the couch and sat down away from Sheldon's spot. "Sheldon, I think we need to have a little conversation about this experiment."

Sheldon sat in his spot and patted the cushion next to him. "Amy… your spot is here. Please make yourself comfortable".

Amy looked at Sheldon not really understanding why he was not more worried that she was there.

Sheldon smiled. "I guess you would like to discuss what is happening here between Penny and myself while all of you continue on with your other endeavors". Amy nodded in agreement and waited for Sheldon to answer. Sheldon was a little contemplative. "Well… let's see… Penny came home drunk accompanied by Bernadette…. Decided to spend the night on the bathroom floor half naked… Spent the next day lolling around in my spot…. We watched a dreadful movie…. Had crunchy spaghetti with little hot dogs… without strawberry Quick… Went to the comic book store… then to the Mall… Penny apparently needed to pick up a new pair of shoes and some under garments. We then came home… I went to bed while Penny decided to pleasure herself… and here we are…."

That was a lot for Amy to take in… especially the pleasuring thing. "Ummm… That doesn't really explain where Penny is…"

Sheldon shrugged. "Out getting Indian food".

Amy took another breath. Sheldon seemed to be in an extremely calm mood. "So… how goes the experiment?"

Sheldon sighed. "I expect that there is some trepidation associated with your question with regards to Penny and myself?"

Amy looked at her alleged boyfriend. "Yes Sheldon… there is… but I am truly interested in what exactly all the activity you have just said actually means with regards to your romantic attachment or detachment to either Penny or myself."

Sheldon looked thoughtful. "Without getting too confrontational, I have come to the conclusion that this experiment has done little to enhance or diminish my feelings toward both you and Penny".

Amy tilted her head. "That's a little vague… don't you think?"

Sheldon patted Amy's hand. "I sincerely hope that your superior intellect will be able to understand the intertwined relationships within the small group of friends that we share and also not be overly concerned by the statement that I love you and Penny as well."

Amy took a breath. "Not surprised that there are intertwined relationships… a little surprised that you are in love with Penny".

Sheldon smiled and let out a breath. "Oh Boy…. I can see that that second X chromosome that all you females share contains more than just nonsense and twaddle. There is also a modicum of fear and jealousy. What I am trying to convey is that although I have feelings for both you and Penny…. And these feelings are accurately defined as LOVE…. The fact remains that I am IN love with only one of you…"

Amy then leaned forward in anticipation of what was to next be said. "Annnnnnd?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "You Amy… it's you…. I am in love with you… Honestly…. When will you people understand that if there is no BAZINGA… I am being truthful…"

Amy just threw herself at Sheldon and hugged him while tears started to come to her eyes. "What about the relationship agreement?"

Sheldon calmly walked over to his desk. He reached into the second drawer and took out the original signed copy of the Relationship Agreement. He held it out for Amy to see. "I have been told that real relationships are meant to be spontaneous. There needs to be give and take, discussion and worry that the other party in the relationship is being satisfied. To that end, I believe one last modification must be made". Sheldon took the copy and proceeded to try to tear it in half just like he had seen Penny dispose of the roommate agreement. He pulled and twisted one way and then another to no avail, small growls and groans coming from his mouth.

Amy saw all she needed to. "Sheldon that's all right, it's the thought that counts. I know what you're trying to say…"

Sheldon took a breath. "NO! this needs to be taken care of once and for all… GRrrrr… Oomphhhh…. Arrrrrgggg….."

Amy reached over and took the document from his hands. "Let me help you with that". She proceeded to quickly and cleanly RrrriiiPPPPPP the document into two with as little effort as opening an envelope. Amy smiled and handed the two pieces of the document to Sheldon with a small smile while rocking back and forth from heel to toe. "Sorry".

Sheldon looked shocked but not upset. "Interesting... perhaps this is a female thing. Not to worry, if you like, we can work on an alternate form of a Relationship Agreement." Sheldon smiled and winked.

Amy immediately blushed and started to feel happy tears start to form.

Leonard made his way home to Los Robles Avenue. He climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and started to grab for the door knob to 4A before he heard some voices. Suddenly, his heart sank. He pulled back remembering that his stuff should have been moved over to 4B, so he turned and opened the door to find his things piled in the boxes he left for Raj.

Leonard went quietly past the boxes across the short distance to the bedroom as if he didn't want to disturb anyone that might be sleeping. It felt strange to him being in this apartment without Penny's smiling face greeting him. He could almost hear the "Hey You…" Leonard went through the open bedroom door to see his blue comforter instead of the bright Orange and blue that was normally there. He sat on the side of the bed and picked up the picture of Penny and himself taken at the Prom they had on the roof. Leonard could do nothing but let out a sigh and replaced the picture on the night stand. He then opened the drawer and noticed a spare inhaler. That was something that Raj would not have known about and a small smile came to his face knowing full well that Penny must have put it there. Next to the inhaler was the velvet bag that he had given Penny when he came back from the North Pole. Carefully opening the bag, Leonard gently took out the Snowflake. He held it up to the light remembering the day he went outside the hut to capture it on the slide. It was so bitterly cold, yet he had the warmest feeling running through his body knowing he was going to preserve it for Penny. It was something that would last forever… Leonard frowned a little and let out a sigh thinking that forever was not supposed to end like this. When he put the Snowflake back in the velvet bag, there was a small tinkling sound. Leonard looked into the bag and saw a shiny object. He pulled out the obstruction and saw that it was the engagement ring he had given Penny. Tears immediately came to his eyes, all the memories of Penny … RUSHING through his mind… Why, oh WHY did he insist that she go through with this new experiment? Was he really that insecure? Did he not trust her to be sincere in her love for him? Leonard gently replaced the Snowflake and the ring into the velvet bag and placed them back into the nightstand drawer. This was his lot in life. He had made it and now he had to play it out. With a heavier heart than he thought possible, he went back into the living room to start to unpack his life, his life that was so neatly packed into boxes, those same boxes that were all piled neatly by the side of the couch. Leonard stood before them and opened the first one and looked inside.

Penny was driving back from getting the Indian food. It wasn't a lot, just enough for the two of them… she hoped she got the order right… just about the last thing she wanted to go through was one of Sheldon's "third degrees" about what she was bringing home. This was just another window into what Leonard had put up with over the last ten years. It seemed like the days when the whole gang got together for takeout food were so long ago… but just a few days had gone past since this stupid experiment started. Penny started to think about what had happened over the past couple of days and what Sheldon had said. She thought about the difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone… This whole experiment was so tiring…

Penny came to the top of the stairs stepping onto the landing just in front of the elevator, noticing that the door to 4B was open. She could see Leonard standing in front of the pile of boxes, turned slightly away from her. He was just looking into the one on top. He had taken off his jacket and hoodie, she could see them draped over the arm of the couch. She could see the definition in his biceps and the muscles of his shoulders through his t-shirt that most people never saw. The curls on the back of his head were a little long and his beautiful wavy hair looked so inviting, she just wanted to run her fingers through it. She looked down and could see that cute little tushie, it brought a smile to her face and made her heart skip a beat.

Suddenly, Leonard looked over noticing something in his peripheral vision. "Hi…"

Penny smiled shyly… she hadn't felt this way talking to a boy since High School. "Hi…" They just looked at each other not knowing what to say. Penny suddenly broke the uncomfortable silence… "Anyway… Umm… I brought home some Indian food... and um… I know that unpacking can be stressful… and I find that when I'm undergoing stress… that good food and company can have a comforting effect ".

Leonard smiled. "I hear that curry is also a natural laxative… just one less thing to have to worry about." Leonard fiddled with his hands like Penny had remembered when they first met. "Um… would you like to come in?"

Penny giggled at the vaguely familiar exchange. "That would be so nice".

When Penny came through the door, she turned to see Leonard close and lock it. Leonard took Penny and pulled her in for a kiss. Penny did not hesitate to respond. When they parted, Penny put both hands on Leonard's chest and rested her forehead against his. "Sweetie… We need to talk".

Raj and Emily entered the lobby to see Howard and Bernadette ready to climb the stairs. Raj was carrying a small bag and asked. "So what are you guys doing here?"

Howard frowned. "It' Indian food night... we're here just like always... I see you have your Chicken McNuggets."

Raj smiled. "Always prepared. Do you think this will be awkward? You know, with Sheldon and Penny?"

Howard looked thoughtful. "Who can tell, Amy left our place and said she was going to come over to see Sheldon".

Emily smiled. "Well there's only one way to find out... Penny, Amy and Sheldon... lets get up there"

Bernadette looked sideways at Emily as Raj also gave her a disapproving look as they climbed the stairs to 4A. "This is all so crazy..."

Bernadette, Howard, Raj and Emily knocked on Sheldon's door. Each of the guys had his arm around the waist of his partner. Each couple seemed to melt into each other. Amy opened the door and greeted their friends with a surprised look on her face. Her eyes slightly moist. Soon, after realizing her friends were at the door, Amy started to get a small shy smile on her lips.

Bernadette walked in first. She was confused by the look on Amy's face. Everyone followed and could see that Sheldon was standing with the torn remnants of the Relationship Agreement in his hands.

Howard asked, "Is that what I think it is?"

Raj looked horrified and leaned into Howard.. "Dude… that's the Relationship Agreement… and it's ripped up!".

Bernadette took Amy's hand and pulled her aside. "Are you broken up? Is this because of the experiment? Does Leonard know? Where's Penny? Why are you smiling?"

Amy smiled wider. " No….No… well, yes it IS the Relationship Agreement, but we're NOT breaking up… The experiment has shown Sheldon that a real relationship is a dynamic evolving situation. It has to be spontaneous and understanding… unpredictable."

Raj was hesitant. "So… what does this mean?"