Hermione burst through the doors leading out into the courtyard and was met with a gust of icy wind that robbed her lungs of breath.
She paused at the top of the stairs in a momentary state of awe as her eyes swept over the grounds. The courtyard had been transformed into a lavish display of Holiday decorations.
A row of arches had been erected over the long walkway, heavily draped with thousands of twinkling white lights interwoven in vibrant boughs of fresh cut evergreens and snowy white winter lilies.
The atmosphere was infused with the enchanting sounds of Yuletide carols and joyous laughter emitting from a large oval skating rink.
A number of first and second year students made laps around the ice, some giggling infectiously as they wobbled, unsteady on their skates.
The younger students opting to partake in the outdoor activities as opposed to slow dancing around in the great hall.
Hermione was struck with a deep sense of longing for those days, and it resonated within her a innocence that her life completely lacked. Things seemed far more simple at that age.
She descended the steps, her heels creating great hollow clicks as they made contact with the cold hard pavement. She passed beneath the illuminated tunnel, following along the pathway until she came upon a row of thick green hedges to her right.
She abandoned the lit path in favor of the deep shadows the yew bushes provided. Her arms outstretched her fingers feeling along the leaves and branches, both hands plunging in-between the limbs, searching.
Perhaps it no longer existed, yet she wasn't one to give up so easily…it was her best chance of finding him alone.
She continued her search, driving her arms deeper yet into the tall wall of dense leaves, the branches scratched and tore at her flesh, not yet willing to give up their secrets.
From behind the cover of a rather large topiary, which was carefully pruned into the shape of phoenix, Forrester watched and waited.
His green eyes glittering with malevolent anticipation, he was going to make that hypocrite pay and he knew just the currency. He had watched Snape and Miss Granger long enough to know that he was lying when he claimed he had naught to lose…oh he had something alright…and he was going to derive great pleasure in taking it.
It really was a pity though, he had hoped to seduce her at his leisure, but could think of no better punishment to exact upon Severus than what he had planned.
Although he had a distinct distaste for such violence, he was willing to do whatever necessary, ah... douleur et agonie vengeance douce servie!
His eyes raked her over, soon he would not have to imagine what was beneath that shimmering skirt of hers…but not yet…his instincts told him to wait.
Forrester ducked, as an arrant snow ball flew above his head and exploded into the foliage above him.
He crouched down to further conceal himself as a gang of rambunctious young students went whizzing by, hurling handfuls of snow at each other along the way.
Once they passed he turned his attention back to his quarry but was dismayed to find she had vanished.
Hermione was just about to give up her search when she hit along the right spot and fell forward through the hedge, emerging on the other side.
Her heel caught upon a branch on the way through, causing her to curse loudly, as she tumbled to the ground upon one knee, shredding a hole in the fine netting of her dress.
She righted herself, inspecting the damage to the gown.
A voice growled from somewhere amid the darkness,"How did you find me?"
The fabric fell from her hands as her eyes darted about in search of the voice's owner, having not yet noticed him seated beneath the shadows of the tree, a few yards away.
"Another of my pilfered memories no doubt, since I am the only one to ever use this space", he continued from his spot upon the smooth marble bench, concealed under the tree's canopy.
He sat located in the middle of what only could be described as a miniature replica of the main courtyard.
A six foot stonewall enclosed the area, making it an ideal place if one was seeking to find a bit of solitude.
A few brass lanterns dotted the top of the wall , flickering weakly, casting a dim yellow light upon the patch of earth inside the square.
Hermione's guilty flush was unnoticeable as her cheeks were already a bright cherry red, courtesy of the stinging wind.
That strange night in the potions room...something had not only happened to Snape but to her as well. She had received access, not just to a few of his memories, but every last painful one had been transferred and embedded in her mind, although she did not immediately recall them.
She had not yet told him the truth, she would not have been able to pull his memories from his mind using legilimency alone had she not already possessed them all somewhere in the back of her mind, and every so slowly they had been coming back to her in visions so clear, she felt shameful remembering them.
She did not understand how, but as a result she now knew Severus's heart so fully, perhaps even more so that he knew it himself.
She stood there, her hands knotting together behind her back as she recalled the memories that had lead her to search for him here.
This place had been a safe haven for him, a place free of the constant stream ridicule and taunts dealt out by his tormentors.
A secret place he had spent many a afternoon alone with only his books for company.
Hermione stepped toward him, violently batting away a few fallen curls that blew across her face, "I would not be here right now had you not run off and left me alone in the middle of the dance floor, looking like a fool!"
Snape inhaled sharply, "YOU EXPECT ME TO STAND THERE WHILE YOU TAKE UP SIDES AGAINST ME…AS I RECALL YOU WERE NOT ALONE WHEN I LEFT!"
Finally spotting the outline of his silhouette, she took a few steps toward him, her hand striking against her chest as she pounded out , "I TOOK NO SIDES!"
Snape leapt from the bench pointing his finger, directing her toward the exit, "GO ON …LEAVE ME…GO RUNNING BACK TO JAMES…GO KISS HIS KNUCKLES AS I AM CERTAIN THAT MY NOSE MUST HAVE CAUSED THEM GREAT DAMAGE!"
Hermione caught the look of torment that flashed across his face as James's name slipped from his lips. Her head shook slowly back and forth, "You and Harry are more alike than you dare admit, just as he holds you responsible for Voldemort's crimes, you hold against him his fathers transgression against you.", her voice scarcely above a whisper.
She brought both hands to her mouth, having just come to a revelation, "So that's it! That is what is troubling you so, Professor. You expect me to play the part of Lily as Harry has already played the role of James tonight…WELL FORGET IT…I AM NOT WALKING AWAY FROM YOU……NOT FOR ANYONE…CAN"T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU, AS SHE DID NOT !"
Snape closed the distance between them, he raised his eyes toward the Heavens, as if asking the Stars forgiveness before he grabbed her up in his arms, pinning her against the stonewall.
Hermione gasped, not sure what shocked her more, the freezing wall at her back or Snape blazing heat at her front.
A ripple of fear raced straight through to her core, as she was held hostage by his ravenous gaze.
His glossy black eyes scanned all of her, as if trying to decide what part he would devour first. "Miss Granger", he breathed as his nose nuzzled along her bare shoulder, pausing to inhaling the scent of her perfumed throat before continuing to travel upward.
His teeth lightly raked over the tip of her earlobe, sending a violent tingle racing up her spine, where it stopped to linger at the nape of her neck. A thrilling shutter caused her shoulder to involuntarily jerk.
"No more Miss Granger…" she beseeched., "just say my name."
He obeyed, and she felt every letter of it as it fell from his lips to her ear.
She clutched at his back, her voice low and seductive, "Forget who we are…just hold me…just feel me in your arms."
A war was ragging inside of him, as word by word she unleashed the binds that held prisoner his desire. He knew this was wrong, but the moment to stop had long past.
"Severus?" she whispered with and intoxicating mixture of pleading and passion.
Snape responded, lifting her up off her feet, her back still pressed firmly to the wall, a small cry was issued in her throat and captured between their lips, as he laid claim to her with an intensity and hunger she had not thought possible.
His hands exploring every private curve of her body, while his deep probing kisses overwhelmed her, leaving her shuttering on the edge of an ecstasy that bordered on panic.
The heat that he created between her thighs left her with no doubt that she was in the skilled hands of a man and not a boy.
Her body responded to his commanding touch, and at that moment, she was as enslaved to him as any servant to a master.
Piece by piece the world around them fell away, until they were all that existed.
Snape lowered her slowly to her feet, creating a fiery friction between their bodies as she slid down his chest. He tilted her head up to bestow a tender kiss to each of her blazing cheeks.
Hermione still clung to him, blissfully weak, trembling and ashamed , for he had to know that she would have let him continue on along that wicked path until his appetite was satiated.
Fortunately he possessed the self restraint, that at the moment she lacked.
Snape tugged free his cape and draped it around her shoulders, mistaking her trembling as a sign of a chill. He held her tightly against his chest, uttering a inaudible curse as his chin rested on the soft curls atop her head.
He was no better than Forrester, that lecherous cad and she deserved better than that. He was stricken by what he had just done and the fact that, at the moment he felt little regret for it.
The silence between them served to build a mounting tension that was almost palpable, neither wanting to shatter the transparent bonds they had just created to one another, that still held them captive in its rapturous constraints.
Finally it was Snape who severed the invisible ties, "We cannot be alone like this again."
Hermione backed away, wrenching herself free of his arms, pulling his cape tightly around herself, "What am I to you then…and do not dare say that I am just your student!"
His matter of fact response was unbearable, "A mistake…you are a terrible mistake…perhaps my greatest, for I acted upon desires that I know for certain cannot be fulfilled…being together is not an option."
"A Mistake?", she repeated his words as if trying to make sense of them. He left her standing there wrapped in his cape, stunned still and speechless as he took a seat upon the marble bench,.
Snape's head dropped into his hands, "We cannot be together Hermione…you know this…you have to know this!"
She remained with her back to him, "What I know Professor, is that even if they do find away to cure you , you do not have to submit to the treatment. You could stay as you are if you wanted to…all you have to do is chose it. Did you think that I did not know that? "
She was right, he did not have to accept the treatment. If he chose to abandon his old life he could stay as he was now, the choice was his.
He had hoped that, that little known fact would have escaped her, but he should have known better…as nothing escapes her.
"Did you honestly think that I would give up my entire life's work, my Professorship…for you?"
Hermione's voice was strained as she did battle her own tears, "No….not for me…but I had hoped that you would for yourself…you deserve a second chance…a chance to find some real happiness."
Snape shook his head, his face still buried in his hands, "I do not believe in second chances. You are foolish to think that it was love that lead you here tonight…because there can be no happy ending for us.
Let me tell you about love Miss Granger…love is pain disguised and prettily packaged and once your heart opens it…there is no relief…it takes hold and wont let go until it brings you to your knee's…and even then it is not finished!
It will make you do unspeakable things in its name…it will invade your very bones and eat you up from the inside like an accursed black cancer…until you are mad with agony…I beg you…do not love me!"
His words had broken her levy of emotional restraint and nothing could stop the raging tears that spilled forth, "That is not love Severus…that is obsession! Harry was right ….God help me… for you really do not know what it means to love!"
"You have to let me go Hermione."
She ripped his cape from her shoulder flinging it to the ground before his feet, " I cannot do that!"
"It is already done." he rasped out.
" Then there is nothing more I can say to you other than goodbye.", she spun around numbly, leaving him with his head still hang, as cold and alone on that tiny bench as ever he had been.