"Sir?"

There was nothing that kept him from waking up and yet the pit in his stomach told him it was safer here in the dark. John Watson knew he had done something terrible. He had hurt Sherlock and scared him. And if it wasn't for wasn't for the men that restrain him, he would of tried to kill Mycroft aswell. His hands could of done some things he would never ever forgive himself for. Sure, it was all such a blurr but this horrible feeling swept over him every time he was tempted to open up his eyes and face the grey sober reality were he was no cute fool anymore. But instead a drugged up lunatic who had nearly scared his best friends till dead.

"Sir," the voice that was still there, sounded a bit softer. Warmer and even sounded a bit sympathetic.

He parted his lips as he realised something was happening with his eyes. He was crying. Why was he crying?

A warm damp towel brushed his face softly and that was the most unexpected nice sensation he thought he would never get after what he did.

"Your vitals are back to normal. It would take a while before the last effects of haldol would leave your system, Sir. Maybe it's time for you to sit up and drink some juice. To help you with that. Blood sugar is a little low."

Juice?

The curiousness of wanting to know who belonged to this angelic voice had tempted him to finally open his eyes. An unknown woman was washing up his face and chest while standing over him with trust in her eyes. She trusts him. Trust...

"Oh, You're awake. At last. It usually doesn't take that long with other patients. But i understand you had been through a lot. Prehaps you were stalling to come back to reality." John didn't know he was looking at her in a questional grimas until she grinned.

"Sorry. I am a big fan of your blog. I just got in. Apparently you had injured a colleague of mine and was asked to come in."

A faint unsure feeling brought the Doctor into a sitting position, away from the woman's touch.

"Does Mycroft know about this? You're not going to stick me with something again, are you?" John was quite scared of the thought.

The woman immediately backed off with her hands up.

"Sorry? Sir?"

John binked, remembering that woman in green he had met before. Her face quiet hard to remember. But this one couldn't be her. It was the voice that was different. This nurse was someone else. He relaxed a little.

"Where's Mycroft? I need to speak to him." His back pushed against the bedrest. There was a little headrush when he did that but it didn't matter him as much as the very little space between him and the unknown woman standing here on his bedsite.

"Sir... I am not sure what i did in order to upset you this much. But Mycroft is out of town." Her voice frantic. But her eyes... still very calm. That reaction. It was real. John could tell it was real. She was scared and yet she wasn't. It confused him.

"What is your name? Does Mycroft know about you working here?" John tried calming himself down. There was something he missed and it was all up to him asking the right questions.

"Sir. Of course. Mycroft has a list of specialists in case of need. I am working for mister Holmes for 2 years now. lease dont worry. As for my name... I am not allowed to give you my full name out of secrecy. But you can call me Riana." Her sweet voice was back.

When some time past with intense eyecontact John finally relaxed and rubbed his tired eyes, only then realising that he wasn't chained to his bed anymore.

"Wait... why aren't I chained?" Both happy and unsure.

"Yes. I needed to get you out of the gown and help you clean up." Besides that rather slightly embarrassed feeling, John wanted to make his serious point.

"I could have hurt you and escape to that door. How is Mycroft even allowing this? How are you sure i am not a danger to you anymore?" He glared at her in a weird untrusting way. The woman's eyed him with this uneasy smirk, making this kind of mysterious.

"Well, Sir. Like i said. Mister Holmes had his list of specialists in case of need. That should say enough, one brow pulled up after her smirk.

It took him some time but finally got it. It had caust him to chuckle a bit while covering his eyes in awkwardness.

"So... you are what.. like a hired muscle? Have a top grade in martial arts? Besides being a nurse?" He heared the nurse Riana chuckle as well.

"I might. Sir."

Face dropped in fascination. He peeked through his hands and blked at her in awe.

"Really?"

The nurse just shrugged.

After another moment of intense stares the nurse took a glass of juice from his nightstand.

"Your Juice, Sir."

John took it and drank it without blinking away. His night gown still half open from the unfinished wash-up.

"After you are ready, I'll take you to the other Mister Holmes." John gulped his last juice away and almost choked at her words.

"Really?"

...

Memories of a cabin. Blood smeared over the walls, red stains everywere. The smell of death. Rotten meat. And pushed out cigarettes. The weight on his shoulder. Sherlocks face covered in dark spots, bruises and blood, pointing out his grey and almost plastic-shiny white looking color. The waves. The annoying buzz. The robes and chains. Smells... Everything came back for a moment, while rising from his bed. Joints popped and crackled from the stiffness. But the worst memory of this all was that blank stare of his friend. This defeaded stare. Lost and weak. On the edge of slipping away to his longing dead. Saying he was not longer able to remember things soon. and pleaded for him to remember these words: Patient one zero.

It had stopped him from moving further to the door. Riana adjusted her grip as being affraid he would fall over.

The emotions weren't pleasant and John still couldn't supress them very well. The panic of losing him. Again.

"Sir?" John grunted.

"Please stop Sir-ing me! Would you! Just help me towards that door." He placed a quick glance at her. "Sorry..." he muttered. His forehead was plastered with new sweat.

He opened the door and found a guard standing in the hallway. It took him a bit back to the reality and nodded his greetings. At some point Raina thought John was sable enough on it's own and let him enter Sherlocks room while see stayed behind him, slowly backing away after a muffled comment to the guard, unable for John to hear.

...

Sherlock wasn't prepared for this visit. He was fixing his hair, or lack there off near the stiches, when the door handle clicked. Molly had just left. And Sherlock just assumed she came back for the scarf she had forgotten on the chair. "Over there," he just pointed out, not really looking at the figure standing there. But the gasp this figure made was alarmingly familiar. Nearly dropping everything with his clumsy hands Sherlock shot up with wie eyes. Not sure this was real or not.

John was standing at the foot of his bed. Healthy and sober. Aware.

"J-John..."

John Watson smiled. Surprised by the delight of being here. He had never seen him this happy.

"Hi Sherlock."

Then his friends mind started working again and he blinked at him suspiciously.

"How did you escape?" John bit his lip to hide his smile, understanding this wasn't even funny. But still. Sherlock looking at him like he was a magic genius for once, sure was refreshing.

Then he coughed, pointing at the door behind him.

"Nurse let me," John stated, giving away the magic. Sherlock nodded at first. But his emotions swelled up behind his eyes until he couldn't hold it in longer.

"We've made it, John. We are safe." Sherlock held in a sob. But his eyes were already leaking.

The poor soul...

John had to heave a sigh of compassion . This was the first time they could talk to eachother, without Sherlock being unable to form full sentences.

"Come here." Sherlock beckoned.

Ther was yet another moment were John Watson flashed back at this bloody memory, the defeaded look in his friends eyes, and the army doctor had to blink his eyes to see his friend clearly, now. He smiled at him. Wanting him to come over so that they could... hug?

John giggled surprised as he hooked in to his shaky arms.

"Really, Sherlock? A hug?" Sherlock smirked back.

"Blame it on the morphine." It was good to feel the connection again.

"Look at you, Sherlock. Sitting and talking. I can actually understand what you are saying now." John had to grab th chair after the hug. Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

"Yeah... well. Still unable to connect to the mind palace. Can only open a few doors." There... Sherlock frose.

John blinked. What was going on now? Another black out?

"Ehr.. Sherlock?"

Then he was back again. Just a bit unsure of what he had seen.

"Remember something?" Sherlock blinked again with a slight concern.

"Should i call..." John asked but got stopped there.

"No... nothing... It's just... That song.. i remember a song..." Sherlock shook his head. As if trying to clear his thoughts again.

John wanted to be reasured he was fine but got stopped again. This time with another Sherlock-smile.

"John... i want a dog," He esclaimed. This took John aback with wonder.

"A... dog?"

"Yes... when we're better. I want a dog."

Sherlock seemed so happy with his self inflicted promise. But John was a bit unsure.

"Fine. I just... never thought of you like a dogperson." Ahwell.. Why not. If the man needed to have something in his live after he almost lost it.. it was only fair to give him that one thing he wanted. It was probably the new wiring caust by the severe concussion. But if this was all... Next to the hug... John's heart dropped.

He almost lost his life... and he was talking about his friends abnormal behavior?

A hand automatically gripped the cocussed detectives arm. A soft smile grew on his face while looking into the poor man's eyes.

"Of course, Sherlock. We will find a dog." He saw the man getting emotional again. Totaly understandible. And then his normal self chained in. He looked at his friends arm. and nodded with a frown.

"After you put your weight back on. How are you still even alive." He shook his head. Sherlock was well aware of his former state and nodded.

"Sure. applejuice sunds great."

John shrugged.

"Then... Applejuice it is."

...

AN: Hope you guys liked this chapter. I know i suck and everything. considering no one ever reviews anymore. Ahwell... boop boop

X

Josie