hey guys, i'm sorry for the slow update, things have been hectic with work and uni lately but i'm back :)
also, i wanna say a big, big, BIG, thank you to all my lovely readers, i'm glad you guys are enjoying this story and don't hesitate to let me know what you think by REVIEWING
speaking of REVIEWS, thank you so so so so much for the lovely reviews guys! a reader suggested a song titled 'Million Reasons' by Lady GaGa which they thought fits this story and i actually liked that suggestion, i listened to some TWD songs when i wrote this story and i still do to get in the mood whenever i re-read this story and i found lots of TWD songs are really good. "Chapel" by Nicole Dollanganger is really good as well as "The Last Pale Light in the West" by Ben Nichols aka Governor's song. Tbh, although the story doesn't relate to it 100%, Paolo Nutini's "Candy" is what i have been listening to on repeat when i wrote the first two chapters (that's why she's called Candy) lol... anyways, i'd be happy to hear any song suggestions from you guys :)
also, sorry for the short chapter but don't worry, something big is building up so prepare yourselves!
p.s. if you haven't watch it yet, watch the new season's sneak peek!
Tully was walking with the girls, carrying their freshly washed and cleaned laundry when she caught sight of a familiar tall man walking on the other side of the corridor. Quickly, she turned around and walked straight to the opposite direction, avoiding the figure that quickly jogged towards her. "Candy!" he called, waving Lucille around as he ran towards her. Rather than turning around to face him, Tully continued to walk away from him briskly. "Candy!" he yelled out again.
Finally, her brisk footsteps came to a complete halt and irritably, she turned around and faced him. "What?!" she demanded. She was clearly vexed. In fact, it wasn't the first time in over two weeks that she had been pissed off at him. Whenever Negan was around, she would always be angry and impatient with him. It all started that terrible evening when she caught him with Sherry and of course, Negan didn't know that. He assumed that her crabbiness was just the product of her pregnancy.
"I got you some popcorn," he mused, ignoring her grouchiness. He waved around a small packet of microwaveable popcorn at her. From where he found it or how he discovered that she'd been craving for some, Tully had no idea. What she did know was that she had been visiting the food inventory often in search for some popcorn and had been unsuccessful at finding any.
She snatched the packet of microwaveable popcorn off his hand and placed it on top of the pile of clothes she carried before turning around to leave without further acknowledging him. "Come on girls," she said over her shoulders and quickly, the girls followed her.
She took the girls to the kitchen after dropping off their clothes with the intention of cooking the popcorn that Negan had given her. Tully wasn't sure why she had been craving for popcorn. It could be just the beginning of her pregnancy cravings or it could be because she wanted to be reminded of her childhood, of the times she'd have a bowl of popcorn on her lap while she sat with her sister on the sofa, watching TV. She cooked the microwaveable popcorn using a tin pot and soon enough, the empty kitchen was filled with the strong scent of buttered popcorn.
Tully shared her popcorn with the girls. Although she had been wanting the popcorn for a while, Tully only took a handful before allowing the girls to have the rest. Sacrificing was one of the things she learned since taking the role as the girl's mother. She watched them eat with a smile on her face. "Have some more, Mommy, the baby might want more," Molly said, offering her some more of the popcorn but Tully declined, assuring them that the baby had more than enough.
Soon, the girls were interrupted when the very man who had provided them with the popcorn stepped inside and approached the girls. "Do you want some, Mr. Negan?" Carly asked, offering Negan some popcorn in her hand. The man simply chuckled and took one before plopping it inside his mouth. His gaze was fixed on Tully who avoided his eyes and busied herself picking on her jeans.
"I was wondering if we can talk," Negan said, addressing Tully. She didn't say anything, instead, Tully got up from her seat and left the room and Negan interpreted her answer based on her actions. He followed her out of the room, away from the children's earshot. "If you think I didn't noticed, I did. You've been avoiding me like the fucking plague lately." Tully looked back at him blankly. Whenever she looked at him, she remembered seeing him with Sherry and it hurts, although, she never understood why. "What did I do wrong? Talk to me, baby," he said, approaching her until he had her sandwiched between him and the wall.
"It's nothing," she shrugged, "just the pregnancy." She didn't want to tell him anything that would make her appear jealous or affected by his actions because what he does with other woman shouldn't impact her. When she signed up to be his wife, she was well aware that she wasn't the only woman in his life so she had no right to feel hurt or betrayed. She didn't understand why she felt the way she did and blamed it entirely on the pregnancy hormones
Negan's brown eyes softened as his arms found their way around her waist. He pulled her close to him and held her tightly, their first embrace in over two weeks. "I missed you," he said. "If I did something wrong and you're just not telling me, you know I'm fucking sorry." She said nothing more and just hugged him back. Negan wasn't the type of person to easily apologise and she appreciated that he did, even if he didn't know what he was apologising for. As she embraced him back, she realised that she too had missed him. She thought that she had a weak spot for him and Tully hated it…this man cannot be her weakness because her only weakness are the people she love and surely, she doesn't love Negan…right?
The very idea that she was in love with Negan frightened Tully. Sure, she knew she had feelings for him but that's different. Her feelings for him are not strong enough to turn into love…well, that's what Tully made herself believe as far as she was concerned. She admired the gentle side of Negan and the fatherly side of him towards her girls but she can't see herself wanting to spend the rest of her life with him. Sure, she promised him that she will stay with him with the kids but perhaps it's time for Tully to take actions and avoid that from turning into a reality. Would she really want her children to be stuck in the Sanctuary, to rely heavily on Negan and to dedicate themselves to him? Tully also reminded herself of the night she witnessed Negan with Sherry. Would she really dedicate herself to a man who had a bunch of other woman? A man who can't full commit to only her?
In denial of her genuine feelings for Negan, Tully found herself snooping around the Sanctuary later that day. She wasn't sure what she was doing exactly. Her mission to find some secret passage that would take her out of the Sanctuary seemed impossible. Unbeknownst to Tully, a pair of eyes had been watching her as she walked all over the Sanctuary for the next hour that followed. She searched empty rooms and investigated the building in hopes of finding a way she can leave with her girls without being detected.
"Hey!" called a voice as Tully was snooping around the armoury which she discovered locked. Frightened to be caught where she shouldn't be, Tully quickly turned around and discovered the person who called her out was Dwight. "Come with me," he said, grabbing her arm and dragging her away from the armoury.
Tully ended up being taken to the first empty room they came across. She was not sure what Dwight wanted from her or what his intentions were and it made her very nervous. "What do you want from me?" she found herself asking him.
"I've been watching you," stated Dwight, "I know what you're trying to do." She grew even more nervous in fear that he would tell Negan as a way of redeeming himself. What would Negan do to her?
Tully hid back her fear and let her sass take over. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. "And what was I trying to do?" she questioned him.
"You were trying to find a way to escape," said Dwight simply, "and minutes ago, you were trying to get in the armory to get some weapons for yourself. Negan's wives aren't allowed access to any weapons, in case you forgot." He seemed smug as he told her exactly what she was trying to do.
"No I wasn't," denied Tully although they both knew she was lying, no matter how sassily she responded back.
"I've done it before," continued Dwight, "I searched this entire place for a way I can escape without the guards knowing." This revelation stunned her. "Sherry and I managed to escape with her sister a few months before you came. After observing and snooping around for weeks before our escape, I learned that the guards would leave the Sanctuary unguarded for at least fifteen minutes whenever it was meal time, so one day, we took our chances and escaped while the Sanctuary was unguarded," Dwight explained. "He caught us just a few later though, that's how cunning he is."
"Why are you telling me this?" Tully wondered out loud, suspecting Dwight's motives.
"Because I want you to know that it's a terrible idea to plan and leave this place," said Dwight, "he's everywhere. Negan has eyes wherever you go and with you carrying his kid, he won't let you out of his sight. Don't underestimate him. It'll be a shame when your girls end up without a mother." The hairs at the back of Tully's neck rose as she listened to Dwight's warning. She remembered her promise to Negan and his warning to her if she ever attempts to break her promise to him. Somehow, Tully wanted to leave even more. What the hell has she gotten herself into?
"Here," Dwight handed her something, forcing her to take the object he was offering her. Tully realised it was a handgun and judging by its weight, Tully knew it was fully loaded. It was the first weapon she held after a very long time. Negan's wives aren't allowed access to the armory after all and they are restricted from having weapons which could potentially harm Negan. "It will come in handy one day. Use it wisely," said Dwight before he left Tully alone in the room, staring at the gun in her hand.