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Chapter Twenty

"Come on guys!" I mew glaring down at the two newest apprentices. "Wake up already!" neither one of them stir. I guess Echopaw took my advice and Nightpaw finally came around because they're sleeping next to each other. Although it might help that Jaggedpaw hasn't noticed her yet. The only she-cat who actually thinks he's as great as he thinks he is and he sees right through her. I seriously do not get that cat. "All right," I mew in a sing-song voice, "If you'd rather just look after the elders all day…" I let that hang as I prepare to turn around.

"NO! No! We're awake!" They mew in unison, both of them shooting up out of their nests.

I roll my eyes and mew, "They live!" sarcasm oozing from my voice.

"Well aren't we in a cherry mood." Ravenpaw mews from her nest.

"Oh shut up, you get to sleep." I mew shooting a glare at her.

"Ahhh but I'm on bed rest! Jayfeather said so." Ravenpaw replies, her voice far too smug.

"You want a real injury? That can be arranged." I snarl – I haven't been a morning cat lately.

"But a wrenched shoulder is a real injury." Ravenpaw replies innocently, her eyes flashing with mirth.

"It's not wrenched anymore and you did that on purpose!" I snap.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Um is this the reason you woke us up? Too referee your shouting match?" Echopaw mews testily – also not a morning cat. I shoot her a withering look that shuts her up and stomp out of the den, taking care to tread on Ravenpaw "wrenched shoulder". She doesn't even bother pretending to yelp. Growl.

"Why exactly did you get us up?" Nightpaw mews in a calmer, curious tone as he follows me out.

"Because we're training." I mew. They give me weird looks, "Together." I mew slowly.

"Why does the world hate us?" Echopaw mews dramatically. I roll my eyes yet again, fifth time this morning – I must be going for the record.

"Look just get over it. If you act like that around your mentors they'll only do this again." I advise them in clipped tones.

"Why?" Nightpaw asks.

"Because it's fun for them." I explain.

"Why?" Nightpaw repeats.

"Because they're evil like that. And trust me I'm not too thrilled about this either." I assure them.

"Why should you be worried?" Nightpaw scoffs, "You'll flatten us."

"They've been working us to the bone," I mew, closing my eyes and allowing my exhaustion to rule me for a moment. "When you're not being worked to the bone you're the only one in camp looking after the elders and the nursery so you're running around trying to get everything done for them so they won't throw a bloody fit." I mew snapping my eyes back open, "Then there's training where the mentors' one intention is to work you so hard you cry. Trust me you haven't seen anything yet."

"Well why haven't we?" Nightpaw mews annoyed, his blue eyes are affronted, "We are apprentices now aren't we?"

"The youngest apprentices." I mew, "And be glad they're just starting on you now." Both cats frown. "Look I'm sorry but we need to get to the training hollow, you'll understand soon enough."

"Where are our mentors?" Echopaw mews, coming out of her staring contest with our den.

"At the hollow, we'll need to run there." I mew.

"Why?" Echopaw asks, wrinkling her nose.

"New training." I mew bitterly as I turn and tear out of the camp, muscles protesting violently, Echopaw and Nightpaw on my tail. I feel really bad for them.

"Nightpaw! Keep your guard up higher!" Blazepaw mews. He and Nightpaw have become quick friends, so I wasn't surprised when they partnered them up together. Nor was I surprised when I got Echopaw. One of the new training techniques is to have two cats fight and have two other cats call out advice. I don't bloody get it. They need to learn to fight for themselves. It's not like in the middle of a bloody battle I'm going to be able to yell, "Look out Echopaw, he's coming after you." Bloody mousebrains.

While I'm ranting on in my head I let my eyes slide over Nightpaw. His pelt is also a dark black, but there's a texture to it, a depth that I've never seen before. It intrigues me. He wears a look of heard determination and takes Blazepaw's advice well. His pelt is shining and his sky blue eyes are narrowed. No they're not sky blue, they're better, they're a whole different shade of blue. They need to come up with another shade of blue just for his eyes. I shake my head lightly- No! I can just imagine the lecture I'm going to get from Yellowfang about this.

"Midnightpaw!"

"Huh?" I jerk my head around in the direction of Cinderheart's voice.

"You're supposed to be helping her remember?" Embarrassed I flick my attention back to the fight, Nightpaw's eyes have landed on me and as always when he looks at me I feel something more. I feel special… like I'm the only one in the world. Shut up or Yellowfang will never leave you alone! She'll come and live in your mind! Do you want that? No, I didn't think so!

"Now! Throw him off balance!" I yowl to Echopaw while Nightpaw's distracted. I refuse to look at him. Yet I can feel his hurt stabbing me. I can't. I can't let this happen. He can't fall for me. It won't be fair… it's not him, they won't let me have anyone.

I turn away from the fight. I can't watch it. Watch him.

"Midnightpaw!" Rosepetal's voice sound annoyed for her apprentice. What the df? I hate mornings.

"Oh let's just switch." Cinderheart mews, "She's always better after a fight." I don't even have the heart to be offended. I sulk down to the training hollow eyes down not wanting to see him. But I feel his eyes on me. And his mind is open to mine. But I don't want to know. I don't want to hurt more than I do. But I can't shut it out.

"Are you okay?" Blazepaw asks, in a rather concerned voice. I sigh and look up half wanting to tell him everything. But Yellowfang appears behind him, glaring at me. Like a snake anger rears inside of me, but I can do nothing.

"I'm very sorry for the pain I'm about to put you in." I whisper to him.

"What?" He asks but someone calls start and I throw myself on him knocking him to the ground. He's so shocked he doesn't do anything. And I feel hot angry tears well up in my eyes as I wallop him. It's not his fault. But as I can't really attack Yellowfang…

He throws me off of him and I roll away jumping up immediately. Echopaw is yowling something but I can't hear her past the blood pounding in my ears. My fur is fluffed out and I'm hissing fiercely, it's taking all my willpower to keep my claws in. Blazepaw paces in front of me like he was taught to do and I snarl, I bet I look like I have lighting shooting from me. The tears are still falling, hot, angry, fast, and thick. He looks at me and shakes his head, walking away from me, amber eyes worried and sad.

"I'm not doing this." He yowls to Lionblaze.

"What?" Lionblaze asks.

"I'm not doing this, look at her! Look at how upset she is! I won't fight her." I sigh wanting to collapse on the sand. I look down burning holes into the ground in front of me. There's breeze like a whisper and I look up. Yellowfang has gone. Fine I think bitterly, go tell them. Tell them I've lost it. And you better tell them why. Because this is all you're bloody fault.

"Come here." Cinderheart mews in a voice barely above a whisper.

So I walk up to her, with my eyes cast down because I don't want to see any of them. Or the looks on their faces. I reach Cinderheart and I look at her. Because I owe her at least that. I've been a rubbish sort of cat. It's not fair to her.

She looks at me for a long time and then mews quietly, "I think I've worked you too hard. Go back to camp get some rest." I nod and as I walk by her she hisses in my ear "And calm down."

As I leave Echopaw hollers, "But what am I going to do?"

"I'll take her place." Cinderheart mews. If Nightpaw protests to this I don't hear him. I'm too busy trying to shut out his thoughts, too busy trying to ignore his gaze burning my pelt.

I keep walking putting one paw in front of another because that's easy to do. Because it doesn't require thinking or feeling.

And as I walk, my tears continue to fall.

A/N: Wasn't that nice and cheerful? Sorry anyway… there's a great button down there that you can click to make us VERY happy, so go ahead and click review!=)