"Nani!? Why are you so mad at me for what I did!?"

"YOU IDIOT!" SMACK! "Because I love you!!"

His cheek still ached from the force of her bitter palm and while the red hand mark was fading, it was still there. The pain. The ice cold bitterness. A clear reminder to Oni: She hated him now. He had been the one to screw up...

Crouching down by the frozen river's edge, Oni squinted his eyes in search of fish. Winter rolled in harshly, and there had been an awful storm last night that chewed up his fingers and toes before spitting them out as ice chunks. Frostbite? How? He dared not enter the house where she slept. He was too ashamed... And too confused to deal with her for now. So where had Oni slept? Well, up on a hill where flowers used to dominate the grassy area, Oni had went to the secret base despite the fact Majora's scent and aura lingered there, only hurting him more.

So that's was Oni's condition. Hurt, exhausted, and confused. The hurt was not that of the pain one would find on his left cheek. The exhaustion was not that one would find from fatigue. Finally, the confusion was just like the other two. Mentally. Sure, his cheek hurt, but Kari's tears were what made him bleed inside. Of course, he was tired from a hard night's rest, but he had tired his brain out thinking of ways to apologize. And confusion. How come... he had been so blind?

Blind to her affection?

He would admit it: He had no clue she loved him. Though... he did love her, the many times he told her he was not lying. Yet, he was now confused. Did he love her because she reminded him of Saluse? Or did he love her high-spirited spontaneous-ness? Either way, his bad mood wasn't affecting just those around him. It was affecting the world.

The late storm the night before hadn't been just a coincidence... It was because of Oni's confusion. The early winter wasn't because of strange legend of Zelda boss using magic to screw up the climate, it was because of Oni's exhaustion; winter is the season of hibernation and rest. The worse was yet to come, though. Oni's hurt would bring upon the land a terrible fate... Pulling a book from his side, he sheepishly opened it: "101 ways to apologize."

"101 one ways to apologize... Number one..." Oni sighed, reading was only adding to his irritation. "Write apology notes and leave them everywhere... How much time do they think I have? I can't leave notes everywhere though! Especially not..." He fell silent and smacked his face as a nosebleed started. "Oh geez! That was too dirty even for me!!" AHHH!! BAKA! Get it out of your head! Out of yourrr head!!" He proceeded in hitting himself a few more times before just shaking it off and returning his attention to the book. "Number two..."

Buy a star and name it after them.

"A whole star...?" Oni rubbed his head. "How the heck can you buy a star? That's possible!? Wow!" He gasped in amazement. "I shoulda bought them all and named them after my favorite foods!!"

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

"What's it to you, Hanz?" Oni spoke without turning. "Come to rub it in my face: You win?"

"..." Hanz winced but walked beside Oni and sat. "No, I came to thank-you."

"What...?"

"Many times, I blamed myself for..." Hanz grew quiet for a few moments, steadying his voice. "I blamed myself for Saluse's death. Then, I got over it by blaming you." (Oni: Well, AREN'T YOU SO KIND?) "So... I never really thought you loved Saluse, not even after Kari scolded me for calling you out like that... Oh, sorry for that, too, I'm normally a nice guy!" Hanz laughed but Oni gazed at the iced water. Kari defended me. Again and again... How obvious it is now... He sadly thought. "Then... In the castle... I saw how you acted around Saluse; you were totally under her words! You even attacked Ka-" As Oni glared at him, Hanz dipped his head in apology. "When that happened, I realized... You really did love Saluse, didn't you?"

"..." Oni stood up, making Hanz look up at him questionably. "Although you're trying to be nice and thank me... I'd rather not talk about Saluse." Turning away slowly, Oni began off.

"Because deep down, you love Kari, don'tcha?"

"..." Oni stopped.

"You do, you love them both... I may not be the brightest but I know love when I see it!" Hanz stretched, his winter coat keeping him warm. "So... that's why... I'm willing to help you have Kari forgive you. Ok? So that b-"

"No."

"What?" Hanz jerked up. "What do you mean?"

"Hanz, this is something I've brought upon myself..."

"That never stopped you before," Hanz pointed out but only made Oni grow sterner: "I brought this upon myself. I will fix this myself. Thank-you, but no thanks Hanz. I'll do this... Even if I have to remain here till the day Kari dies."

Apology number five: Make a card and leave it somewhere they'll find it.

Setting a sheep-skin paper card on the door to the flower shop cash register, Oni left the shop and hid behind some large ceramic pots. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Oni saw Kari walking up the path, today she had to work in the shop's greenhouse. Watching her enter the shop and head to the cash register, Oni bit his lip as she picked up the card. Then, he sighed, as she pushed it away to a point it fell into the trashcan next to the front desk.

Oni's condition: The ceramic pots gave him rashes...

Apology number thirty-five: Use a gift to apologize, but make sure it isn't the apology itself.

Oni didn't really understand this, so he basically bought a winter jacket (Since Kari always seemed cold), boxed it, and left in on her front porch with a tag reading: From Oni, please forgive me. Close to the time Kari got off work, Oni noticed her coming from the forest road and heading up to the house. Bending down to pick up the box, he heard her sigh and mutter a few words. Much to his surprise, she did not throw the box away, but she gave the gift away to Grandma Beck. Was he really on to something?

Oni's condition: he accidentally hid in a thorn bush...

Apology number one hundred and one: Go to others who know the person for advice.

"Well that's crappy..." Oni sighed, scratching his arm as it broke out into hives. "Grandma Beck might attack me for getting Kari upset again... And I rejected Hanz's help..." Oni sat down on a rock, propping himself up on his arms. "Maybe... Maybe I just can't do it. Maybe it's just impossible with this stupid w- WAIT! EUREKA!!"

Oni's Idea: ... Wait, he actually got an idea?

Night fell over the land, covering it with a thick flurry of darkness as Oni sauntered over to Kari's house, shivering from the cold. Using what little deductive skills he had, he learned Grandma Beck was already asleep by this time while Kari stayed up reading on the couch. Raising a fist, he hesitated to knock... But knocked anyway.

No response, Kari ignored it.

Oni knocked again.

Kari got up, glanced out the window, then sat back down and continued reading.

Oni knocked again, louder.

Kari twitched irritably.

Oni knocked twice, even louder.

Kari set down the book.

Oni then pounded on the door again and again and again.

Kari raced over to the door:

"WHAT!?" Kari seemed to screen, a large pulsing angry vein appeared on her forehead as she clutched the door tightly. "You're going to wake up Grandma Beck!!.. What happened to you?" Thorned, rashy, and quite frostbitten, Oni was quite the sight... "You ARE Oni right?"

"I...!" Oni gaped, almost forgetting why he was there for a moment. "I-I'm sorry! INCREDIBLY SORRY!" He dropped to his knees and dipped his head before looking up at her. "I tried many methods of apologizing and...! And..." Suddenly, he collapsed to the ground. After all, he HAD been standing in the cold since she got off work at noon... and it was now eight.

"B... Baka..." Kari winced, but didn't hesitate to slowly pull him inside and set him on the couch before shutting the door. Lighting the fireplace, she heated a kettle of water before dipping a rag in it and placing it on his head. After this, she merely sat down on the table and examined him. Silently. One word kept coming to mind as minutes passed: Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Where had he gotten rashes from? When he delivered the apologetic note? When had he got so thorny? When he left the gift and waited for her reaction? And how his body instinctively shivered to get warmth... That was from waiting outside so long. Stubborn idiot. A few moments later, he came too, but was still inhumanely blue in the face.

"W... What... happened...?" He quietly spoke, his lips chapped from the caustic chill. "I'm... Am I dead?"

"No, luckily for you," Kari took the rag from his head and dipped it again. "You passed out from the cold while apologizing."

"O-Oh! Yeah! I so sor-"

"Just stop already..." Kari silenced him with a sigh. "Now hold still, I'll help get the thorns out..." She mumbled, grabbing tweezers. Nani? (1) Oni thought quietly as he fell very still. Is she... not mad at me anymore...? PLUCK!

"Ght!" Oni flinched and opened his mouth to say something rather offensive, but held his tongue, actually being intelligent. (APOCALYPSE I TELL YOU!) "Arigato..." (2) Once more, it fell silent, only the crackling of the flames kept breaking the uncomfortable quiet. Kari went after another thorn, and Oni stopped a smile from forming on his face. She did it more gently this time. Oh... You idiot, you've got to apologize, even if it means nothing at this point! He shook his head. "Kari! I'm sor-"

"I know."

"..."

"You got these rashes from the ceramic pots didn't you?" Kari took the hot rag and set it on one disturbing rash. "And these thorns from the tundra bushes outside... And this frostbite from waiting outside too long."

"..." Oni it his lip. She knew, but her tone didn't sound convincing... She sighed:

"You..." The tweezers fell from her hands and when she looked up, Oni's jaw almost fell to the floor: She had slight tears skimming down her cheeks. "You're such an idiot..." She clenched her hands tightly on her knees. "You never understand... and you're always doing the most outlandish things..."

"Kari," Oni sat up, still aching in pain, he grabbed one of her hands and used his free hand to wipe a tear from her cheek. "You know what they say, right? People do crazy things... when they're in love." From the way her eyes widened, Oni knew she felt as if her heart had stopped. However, that didn't mean the apology was doing good or bad so far. "Do you remember that time I er... It was back when we were traveling, I believe... I think after Majora's attack..." He felt a flutter in his stomach, older memories making him want to chuckle but he held back the laughs. "One day I pushed you to the ground and specifically told you: 'I love you.' Do you remember that?"

"..." Kari said nothing, but dipped her head half an inch.

"I meant every word with every ounce of... Raging hormones in my body," grinned the fierce deity with true heart, "Even if I only said three words, I could say a billion and never run out! Kari..." His grip on her hand tightened, but still was soft and kind. "I do love you." Kari pulled her hand from his grasp, but he grabbed it again. Eyes intensifying, she glared at him:

"Then what about Saluse? If she were to come back, you would go to her, wouldn't you? You..." Kari's eyes narrowed. "You only like me because I remind you of her, don't you?" Oni had not pre-meditated an answer for this. For this conversation. For this moment. "In the tower... You completely disregarded me! You only saw Saluse and attacked me! Baka...!" Tears were beginning down her cheeks again. "Do you try to kill someone you love!? I don't want you love if that's the case!"

"But I didn't!!" Oni pointed out. "I couldn't! When the final blow came, I stopped and put down my sword, I couldn't! Do you remember that!?"

"By only a second! You would've killed me so thoughtlessly!!"

"But I didn't!" Oni pushed himself forward, shoving Kari to the ground where he towered over her. Slight fear swelled in her eyes, but he did nothing but pin her down and look at her. "I did not, because I couldn't. I couldn't, because I love you. And now..." He gritted his teeth. "I realize... I don't love Saluse one hundredth as much as I love you!"

"... Eyeh..." Kari bit her lips, and the tears conquered her faces and ever caused her nose to run. "Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Wahhhhhhh!!"

"K-Kari!!" Oni immediately got off her, and snatched a tissue box from the table beside him. Pulling flurry of tissues from the box, he swiftly handed them to her. After ten minutes of crying, she seemed to settle... "Are you done crying?"

"... B... Bes..." Her face was red, her eyes were gushy, and her nose was running terribly. Taking the tissues, she blew her nose and wiped her face, slowly returning to a fair pale color. "Oni... I'm sorry."

"N-Nani? Why?" Oni crouched low, and tried keeping eye contact with her at all times. "You didn't do anything..."

"You tried apologizing so many times... and I ignored you because I was jealous of Saluse... I've become a terrible person...!"

"... Heh," His laugh made Kari jerk her head his way. "If you started dating someone, you DO realize I would blow them up after turning them into a worm and frying them half to death?"

"..." (0.o) Kari's eye twitched for a second.

"Of course, that's AFTER I tie them to the clock tower in their underwear."

"Pffft...!" Kari clenched her eyes shut, but couldn't help but laugh. "Aha... Ahahaha! You're supposed to dip them in honey first and then in feathers!"

"And do da chicken dance?" Oni did a small dance making her grin. "Apology accepted?" He held a hand out, but gasped as she hugged him.

"Yeah... but I'll kick your ass if you do something like this again."

"..." Oni's face contorted at the thought of penalty kicks. "... I love a girl who almost spays me every time she kicks me... That makes me sound like a masochist."

"?"

"One who enjoys pain..." Oni responded... and then grew that one faithful smile. "But you can beat you up as muchas you like."

"... I don't feel like hugging you anymore..."

(1)Nani- What (Japanese)

(2)Arigato- Thank-you (Japanese)

Author- Sorry for the wait, I've just hadn't been able to sit down and type lately... (Sigh) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter... (Sigh) And I hope you like the next few chapters... (Siiiiigh)

Majora- ... Even your sighs are annoying. (Irritated twitch)

Author- I can't...! ... (Sigh) I can't help it... (Sigh)

Majora- ... And now you're depressed. Great. I'm working under an EMO.

Author- What!? I am not emo! I don't go suicidal like SOME people!! ... (Sigh) I'm kinda tired... My mom threw this party and is working me dead... And my homework... and my boredom... Make sure to find me a good grave? Please? (Sigh)

Majora- (under breath: Or a nice coral reef for the fish) Right. (Cough cough) Have you ever thought that there IS a tomorrow?

Author- ... (sigh)

Majora- ... (twitchy, twitchy) ... THAT'S IT! You are too depressed! It's NOT normal!! (Grabs by collars) By the end of today, I WILL have you back to normal or so help me I will KILL you!

Author- ... (literally being dragged) So you're actually gonna try to help us... Someone's getting nicer.

Majora- ... Am not. (Hmph)

Author- ... Are too.

Majora- Am not...!

Author- Are too! (Smile)

Majora- ARE NOT! (Let's go of Author) And you know it!

Author- That you're being nicer? Yeah! (sticks out tongue)

Majora- Are not!

Author- Are too!

Majora- Am not!

Author- Am not!

Majora- Are too!

Author- AHA! I KNEW IT! (happy dance)

Majora- ... I hate you.

Author- What? You're missing the fangirls?

Majora- (E GASP!) N-No! Don't you da-

Author- Hey laaadies! Mr. Majorry's back!! (hundreds of fangirls come)

Majora- ... You're so mean...

...

Majora- I like it.

Author- 0o... ATTACK!! (Runs away during confusion)

Oni- ... Llama says what?

(You know, I particularly proud of myself for this chapter... I'm not so depressed anymore! Seeing Majora's guts makes me happy... Er erm, anyway, I'm dedicating this chapter to Mudstar111, happy late birthday mi major magia!!)