And now on with the story.
21 – Getting Back
"Ouph."
A young child quickly crawled up on the still sleepy form of his father, pushing one of his knees into his stomach by accident.
Harm took a hold of his youngest son to keep him from moving on. He lay on the bigger of the two sofas in Mac's living room. And Kenny had just come to wake him.
"Daddy, look Santa's been here. Did you see him?"
Harm forced his eyes open and focused on the child now sitting still for the time being.
"No. Afraid I fell asleep. Are the cookies gone?"
Kenny checked the plate. "Yes."
A small smile appeared on Harm's lips when he remembered last night.
"Can I open my presents?" Kenny asked bringing his father back to reality by kicking him in the side while trying to climb down from him.
"No. You know the deal. We wait for the others to join us."
"You don't have to wait for us," Aaron said, already standing behind the sofa with Hannah by his side.
Slowly Harm sat up, placing Kenny next to him on the couch.
"But there's still your mum missing." He looked around into the shining eyes of three children on Christmas morning, and couldn't stand up to one of their pleading gazes, let alone their joined forces. "You might wake her up then."
He had to smile at how fast Aaron ran up the stairs to get his mother. And in no time he was back sitting next to the tree along with Hannah and Kenny. Mac however needed some more time to get downstairs.
"Merry Christmas," she said, sleep still thick in her voice.
When she had rounded the sofa to join Harm there, she greeted him with a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Isn't that my sweatshirt?" he asked eying the blue shirt that read US NAVY in bold letters.
"No?" She hadn't given it back to him yet, and she didn't plan to. "It's looking better on me anyway."
He had to acknowledge that this was true. She looked beautiful in his shirt and the sleeping shorts she wore.
"Can we start?" Hannah asked when Mac had finally settled in next to Harm.
"Okay. But each of you is opening one present in turn. Who's starting?" Harm told them the rules.
"I'd say Aaron. He doesn't know that rule yet," Hannah suggested.
So Aaron was the first to reach under the tree and pull out one of the many presents. Carefully he read the card to make sure it was his present. He'd never done that before either. All those years the presents under the tree had always been his alone.
He unwrapped the green paper, just throwing it aside, and found a new baseball glove and a signed baseball inside. Mac smiled at the happy face of her son. She would have to thank the Admiral for getting that gift for her.
Kenny was next, as Hannah said it was the privilege of the youngest. So he almost crawled under the tree to find a card that read his name. When he finally found one, he wasn't much more careful with the paper than Aaron had been. He discovered a bright yellow plastic truck underneath.
Mac smiled at Harm when both their eyes had followed Hannah unpack her first present and the girl was obviously delighted by what she found. Mac was relieved that her daughter liked her present. And Harm was glad that Hannah was finally able to get a present from her mother. He softly placed a kiss atop Mac's head, which rested against his shoulder.
They both took pleasure in the peaceful scene that unfolded underneath the tree. All three kids were taking turns in opening their presents. With the time passing paper piled up high on one side of the tree while the toys were stored on the other side.
Mac had pulled her legs up the sofa and made herself comfortable in Harm's arms. She was only barely awake by the time the children were nearly finished with their presents and only one was left lying under the tree. A box wrapped in bright silver and red.
"Who's left?" Harm wanted to know.
"Hannah's been last. So it's me now," Aaron answered and reached for the last package.
"That's not for me," he exclaimed after reading the card.
"Who is it for?" Hannah asked, leaning over to read the card herself.
"It's for mum," Aaron said and stood up to bring it to his mother.
Both Hannah and Kenny followed suit and joined the others at the sofa.
"It's for me, you're sure?" Mac was fully awake in an instant. She loved getting presents.
"Positive," Hannah answered her mother's question.
Mac swung her legs back down to the floor and sat up straight.
"Let's have a look then." And just like her children she pulled the carefully decorated paper open to reveal the contents.
A white paper box was what she saw when the paper had gone.
Slowly she lifted the upper part and laid it aside.
And what she found inside made her stop. It brought tears to her eyes. Tears she didn't want to drop onto this wonderful present. So she leaned back against Harm's arm, which was still wrapped around her.
She lifted her head so her eyes were level with his.
Softly his thumb brushed the tears from her cheeks.
She didn't need to say a word. All that she felt right now was laid open to him in the look in her eyes.
Softly he kissed her. First her lips, then both her cheeks and finally ending with a kiss on each of her now closed eyes. He tasted the salt of her tears.
Slowly he nodded for her to go on. See what was inside.
And she did. But only when her fingers had carefully trailed over the smooth red leather that covered the book. Nothing much was imprinted on it, only small Asian signs in shining silver and their English translation underneath. Equally in silver it read FAMILY in large letters. And Mac instantly knew what had to be inside.
She carefully opened the cover and found a picture of both Hannah and Aaron in the nursery on the first page. She had never known Harm had such a photo. What followed were pictures of a growing girl. A girl that was happy. The last page was filled with the picture taken in Chicago. The picture that showed them as a family.
"I know we can't make up for the time we missed. But maybe this will help a little." Harm pulled her closer.
"Thank you so much." There were still tears in her eyes.
For a moment both stayed in this close embrace, her head against his chest, his chin resting on her head. Both had their eyes closed and were totally unaware of their surroundings. All that mattered right now was them and what they meant to each other.
Slowly and hesitatingly Mac lifted her head up. She didn't want to leave this place, but she got something for Harm as well and she needed to give it to him now.
So she got up and walked out of the room, Harm's eyes always following her. Where was she going? And while Mac was out of the room the children returned to their own presents, which held much more appeal to them at the moment.
"I wanted to give you that tonight, when we were alone. But now that I got this special gift, you should be given something as well." She was back by his side, presenting a slim blue package.
"You know I could have waited 'til tonight, I don't need much more than you and our children in my life." He reached for the offered present but took hold of her hand instead.
Mac had to gulp on that. He hadn't said that he loved her yet, but this simple sentence had made it all clear to her. He did and he wasn't afraid of committing anymore. He had finally grown up and let go.
Let go he really had. But that had been all wrong. He should have never let go of her and his son in the first place. But now that he was back by their side, enjoying these quiet days with his family had given him so much more than he'd thought he'd ever experience.
"Still I want you to get this," Mac whispered, her voice still hoarse from the new insight into the man she loved.
"What is it? Looks like a pencil case or something."
Mac didn't reply to that; she just continued to watch his face, his reactions.
Carefully he unwrapped the paper and put it aside, neatly folded. He took his time. He always did with things that were dear to him. And Mac's present would surly be.
He revealed a white box, a box like a jewel case. He wondered what was inside. His fingers ran over the velvet just before he opened the box.
What lay within caught him off-guard. When he had thought about the present to give to Mac, he had wanted it to be special, only for her. And he succeeded. But so did she. What lay inside this small box, surrounded by black velvet and shining in the light from the tree, was something equally special and unique.
Harm knew immediately what it was. He had seen it before. But he turned towards Mac nonetheless, wanted her to explain it to him.
"That's a replica of the bracelet Aaron was given in hospital. I got it worked out in silver for you to wear."
Carefully he took the silver bracelet out of its box and held it for Mac to take.
"Would you?"
She placed it around his right wrist. The same wrist he had worn the bracelet to remember his father by. Now there was this bracelet to always be connected to his son.
Quickly he put the box away on top of the folded paper, before he turned back towards the woman that meant so very much to him. And without any further words he placed a passionate kiss on her mouth to say the biggest thank you ever.
When they had to finally part for air again, they returned into the position they shared before Mac got up to get his present. And they continued watching their children playing under the Christmas Tree.
Harm wrapped both his arms around his love, most of the time one of his hands rubbed in small circles over her back or his fingers trailed through her hair. But every now and then they found their way to the silver bracelet.
They ran over the tiny imprinted letters.
Name of birth: Aaron MacKenzie
Date of birth: 01/07/2005
Time of birth: 10:25 am
He'd come with her, was sitting by her side while they watched the latest ultrasound pictures. Held her hand. He had always come. But this day was different.
The doctor had just told them that they were expecting twins. Twins. They were not only getting one child but two. He would be a father of two children. Two of Mac's children. He couldn't believe it. Unbelieving, he had asked the doctor if he had heard right. Mac had giggled on that. Only seldom had she seen him that shocked. But the doctor repeated the words. He placed his finger on the monitor. He showed them what he knew to be two heads. Harm's eyes followed the doctor's finger, looked at this two heads that belonged to his children. When Mac asked about the gender Harm pressed her hand. What were they going to have? Would he get, they get, daughters or sons or both? The doctor had a close look at the monitor before he answered. "One is a boy, while the other remains unidentified for now". Harm would never forget those words in his entire life. A son, he was getting a son. It slowly filtered into his mind. Harm was so excited about the news that he spontaneously leaned in to kiss Mac. But when their lips met he immediately backed away. They had agreed on fully concentrating on the pregnancy. Not to complicate things with putting the question of their relationship into the mix. And he planned on staying true to this agreement.
He remembered the day like it was yesterday. The day he had first learned about Aaron. And now there he was, playing with his sister under the Christmas Tree.
A voice brought him out of his reverie. Hannah stood by his side, softly asking if they could have breakfast.
"Sure sweetheart. How late is it anyway?"
Hannah only shook her head, there was no clock around.
Harm tried to have a look at his watch, but couldn't see it when his arms were still wrapped around Mac who had drifted back to sleep.
Careful not to wake her, he slipped out from under her, softly positioning her onto his night time resting place. He draped his blanket over her and softly kissed her goodnight.
Then he took his youngest son by the hand and led the three children out of the room.
Only when they were safely behind the closed kitchen door did they speak again.
"So what do you want?"
All three of them shared questioning looks. What did they all want?
"Pancakes!" they finally decided.
And so Harm turned to make pancakes while his children placed themselves around the kitchen island and waited impatiently for him to present the first ones ready.
The children had already eaten the first round of pancakes and Harm was about to finish the second when Mac silently entered the kitchen. She hadn't made a sound yet. And the finger on her lips indicated for the children to stay calm when they spotted her. But nonetheless…
"Morning Sleepyhead," Harm said without turning around.
"How did you know I've come in?" she asked, quickly closing the distance between them.
"Remember, I always know where you are." He concentrated on the last pancake.
"Yeah." She wrapped her arms around his waist and placed a soft kiss under the hairline on his neck.
As it made him shiver, she placed a second one just underneath.
When the pancake was done, he turned the fire off and turned around in Mac's arms to face her.
"You know I need to feed the hungry pack over there," he smiled.
And just on that, as they all had listened to their parents, both Hannah and Aaron started to howl like hungry wolves and were shortly joined by Kenny.
Mac burst out laughing and let go of Harm. "Better go before they come to hunt us down."
Harm placed the ten new pancakes between his children and both he and Mac joined them at the island. And just like the hungry wolves they had been imitating, the kids as well as Mac pounced on the pancakes. In no time only one was left.
"That's mine. I've only gotten one so far," Harm said pulling the plate towards him, well aware of the hungry eyes that watched his every move.
"Hey, it's your problem when you eat too slowly," Mac teased. She had managed to get three.
"I'm full anyway. May I go back to my presents?" Hannah asked, already climbing down from her stool.
"Okay." But the children had already taken off. He only saw three backs rushing out of the door. "Seems like you gonna be the only one to watch me enjoy this last delicious pancake." He knew that Mac would like to eat it and to tell the truth, he wasn't much interested in eating it.
While eating his first one, he had watched his family and smiled at how much they could all get themselves excited over some simple pancakes. And that had given him more pleasure than eating it himself. So pretending he wanted this last item was nothing more than an attempt to tease Mac, and he succeeded. He knew very well that she would be the one eating it in the end.
"Or you'll be the one to watch me eat it." She quickly reached for the pancake but Harm was fast enough to grab her hand before she could pull it back.
He ripped the part she wasn't holding apart and placed it back onto the plate, so only the small piece sticking between her fingers was left for her. But he wasn't going to give her that either. Slowly he lifted her hand to his lips. His eyes sparkled when he did. He licked his lips, parted his mouth slightly. Her fingertips reached his lips. Bit by bit he tucked them into his mouth, closing his lips around them.
When she felt his lips on her fingertips she opened up her hold of the remaining piece for it to fall onto his tongue.
His hand began to pull her fingers back when he tasted the sweetness of the pancake. But his lips didn't let go immediately. For a last time he sucked on her fingertips before he let go of her hand. A smile played round his lips when he did. A smile lingered on hers as well.
Next he took another piece with his fingers and moved them towards her mouth. Now she copied his actions, but placing a little kiss on each of his fingertips before he pulled his hand back.
And just like that they went on feeding each other until the whole pancake was gone. Not a word was spoken, but many laughs filled the kitchen. They'd never done something alike before, but that didn't keep them from enjoying it the more so.
When nothing of the breakfast was left, their fingers stayed intertwined for a while longer. Neither of them wanted to let go. They'd yearned for a moment like this for so long now. But finally Mac started to speak. She had thought about last night for quite a while before she drifted to sleep.
"Harm, about last night…"
He squeezed her hand a little. "You don't need to say anything. I understand. I should have stopped it myself."
She smiled at him, glad he wasn't offended. "You know, I want it. I want all that with you. Just not now. I'm afraid that if we go too fast, it may not last."
He leaned towards her, his lips coming close to hers. "We're gonna take it real slow." And he placed a soft kiss on them, before he backed away.
But her head followed his, so her lips met his again when he stopped moving. "Yes, we'll do that." He could feel her smile on his lips.