The afternoon was well gone when Sean finally took a deep breath, stretched and rolled over. He growled contentedly and passed one hand down Jo from shoulder to knee. So soft and silky. He loved touching her skin. And she was so pale she glowed. He wanted to see his hands on her again.

He turned his head, smiling. Looked up at her face. Lost the smile and tensed up. She did not look happy. Uh, oh. Mistake? Now, what? What do I say? Thanks, it was great, see ya at work? Shit, how can I work with her now?

He cleared his throat. "You okay?" It was quiet and scared-sounding.

Jo could have kicked herself. She must have looked half panicked to him. She said nothing.

"I, uh... I guess I should get you back. You wanna shower first?" He wasn't looking at her anymore.

"I was just thinking..." She was almost apologising for it. "That's all..." Crap. She didn't know what to do. Something had changed between them.

Sean rolled up to sit on the side of the bed, facing away from Jo. He put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Jo. I don't know what came over me. If this was a mistake and if you don't want to see me any more, I'll talk to the Cap. See if we can get you a better partner." He sounded crushed already.

"NO!" she almost shouted it at him. His back was facing her. A physical reminder of what they had just done... together. "I... I... I don't know what I want right now." She reached out and touched his back; she couldn't not touch him. "This has all happened so fast... I don't do this...it's just... you..." She stumbled to a halt.

He twitched when he felt her hand. "It's okay, Jo. You don't have to sugar coat it. Just tell me to go away if you want. I won't bother you again." He sighed. "I'm sorry if I fucked up your life, too. I've certainly done a good job with mine."

She wanted to hug him. He was hurt again. She clambered around his body and shoved herself under his arm and into his face. "That was..." she looked like she couldn't think of a word. "I've never bloodied anyone before, Sean... I just don't know what this means... for... us..."

He was already going to apologise, again. "I didn't hurt... us?" He inhaled hard. "You did say... us?" Does she mean that the way I think?

He was so not a one night stand. She was an idiot, but it was done and Jo Buckle always tried to get what was best for her out of any situation. She had done some major thinking of her own recently and then Sean had happened. Co-incidence?

"Sean... I have made a lot of major changes in my life in the last couple of weeks... I'm kind of … lost." Shit she sounded pathetic.

"You wanna take some time to think this through. I get it. Whatever you need, Angel."
He finally put his arms around her and hugged her.

"I've moved countries, I don't know how long this job will last, I never expected you to happen."

Sean snorted. "Me, either. I was prepared to hate you... Hell, I tried to. Hard."

She chuckled. "That's part of it, too. I'm just so different to you and what you normally deal with. Are we too different? I don't know. So it's not a 'no'; it's a 'maybe'. At least for me... I don't know what you want." She worried that sounded harsher than she meant, so she kissed him. She sat in his lap and wound herself around him and she kissed him.

"Can I wash your back for you?" she offered. "Shit! My car is in the garage!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"Yeah. We gotta get back... I guess." He sighed heavily. "But you can wash my back first. If you really want to. It stings." He rolled his shoulders.

If she wanted to? "Oh yeah... I mean I imagined what you would look like in the shower that time at your place..." She seemed to catch herself, and then she clapped one hand over her mouth.

"Did you?" His face broke into a very happy and satisfied grin. "Hmmm." He stood with her still in his arms and carried her into the shower. Didn't put her down until he turned the water on and adjusted the temperature. Then he stepped in and set her in front of him.

He let her wash his back, and as much more as she wanted. Then he insisted on washing her. Shampooed her hair, too. And dried it when they got out.

There were too many mirrors in this bathroom] Jo thought. She had told him they were different and that was immediately apparent in their reflections. They were complete opposites: male/female, coffee/cream, large/small, you name it... they were opposite.

She loved washing him. He had more scars on his left leg that she hadn't noticed before. Washing him was oddly not sexual; especially after what they had just done, but it was comforting and almost affectionate. He arched and purred under her hands. She thought about having sex again, but they really didn't have time. This connection would suffice.

Sean stood quietly, letting her do as she wished. Just watching her. So tiny, and delicate looking. But she wasn't delicate. She had a core of steel. He loved the feel and look of her hands on him. So lily-white. Soft. Tender. He sighed. Realized he had missed a woman's touch. More than he thought possible.

But it was time for them to go. He grabbed towels and wrapped her up. Carried her out into the bedroom and sat her on the bed. Tousled her head and chuckled when she squeaked.

They really hadn't said much to each other. Both wrapped up in their own thoughts. Lord knew he had a lot to think about. Probably her, too. He dressed and waited for Jo to comb out her hair. Wanted to do it, himself. Next time... if she let there be a next time.

She had dressed, sat on the bed to put her boots on. He kept touching her; watching her. Thinking. She could almost see the thoughts across his face. Lots to think about.

She checked her watch; they would be pushing it. She sincerely hoped they didn't run into anyone. She knew how she had kept blushing around him before; Christ knows what she would do now.

She looked around and found her bag; pulled a comb out to get out the tangles. Sean was still watching her. He looked earnest now.

"Are we good to go?" she asked. "I can do this in the truck."

"Sure, if you don't think the wind will tangle it more."

She looked around the room almost wistfully. "No, we should go." Then she remembered the shots in the camera.

"Right." He picked up the key card.

"Those shots I took, should we load them into facial recognition, check the license plate. Do some work," she said mischievously.

"Camera..." He looked toward the bathroom. "Damn, what a waste." Sighed. "Nah, it'll be late. We can drop the stuff off for now." He looked at her, frowning slightly. "Unless you really want to do it now."

She was suddenly nervous about going into the office. Crap! This was why she had rules; or used to have. "Whatever you think."

"If it's okay with you, I'm gonna drop you off. I... I have a stop to make before I go to my house. "He looked uncomfortable suddenly. "C'mon." Sean whirled and took off out the door. He walked around the building to drop the key in the office. He needed a couple of minutes to calm himself back down.

Jo had taken an involuntary step towards him; she wanted to hug him again. Instead he ran away. She took a breath and let him go.

She did a scan of the room, purely out of habit. They hadn't brought anything.

He was silent in the truck. She had clambered in by herself after he unlocked it. Before he got there. She had to climb half the door to do it. He gave her a look but said nothing. She couldn't have said why she needed to do it herself. It was too hard, she would have to let him hoist her next time.

After minutes of silence, she asked, "Can we listen to the radio or something?"

"Sure." He turned it on. "Whatever you want."

She left it where it was. She hated people who got in her car and changed everything.

The noise filled the awkward silence for them. She looked out the window, lost in her own thoughts.

Sean drove straight back, taking the shortest, fastest route. God, this was awful. All of a sudden he couldn't think of a thing to say. He almost couldn't wait to get rid of her. And she looked just as uncomfortable.

The contrast between how they were now and their endless banter of that morning made Jo feel queasy. It was only that morning wasn't it? It felt like days ago. She was feeling exhausted again. She was not sure she was even over her jet lag yet and now she was trying to deal with this. She was no good with emotional stuff. She'd had men in the past who complained about that. But somehow Sean had just slipped under her armour.

Sean pulled into the lot with a sigh of relief. And regret. Their day together was over. He was afraid it was going to be their last. Hoped it would not be. He drove into the garage to where she was parked. Now what?

He cleared his throat. "Well, here you are. I'll see you Monday." It sounded like a question. "Have fun with Candace tomorrow," then he looked away.

Jo was hurt. She knew they were in the DEA carpark and they couldn't be affectionate... not that she had even told him they would be... oh fuck... she hated this stuff.

She scrabbled around on the floor of the truck, collecting the remains of their lunch and stuffing it all vehemently into the cold bag. Removing the evidence. She thrust the box of animal crackers at him. They were probably stale by now, but for some reason, she didn't want to see it again.

"Here," she said as she dropped the box in his lap. "Monday," she repeated and she fled.

Sean jumped, startled when the box of cookies hit his lap. Jo was out of the truck by the time he opened his mouth. Smart move, Vetter. If she hadn't decided to kick you to the curb, you just made sure she will. Fuck. I guess I will be talking to Frost on Monday. He squealed out of the lot. He couldn't stand to be anywhere near the place.

Jo scuttled over to her car, unlocked it and threw the bags in behind the driver seat. She threw herself behind the wheel and sat there. She blinked away tears. "FUCK!" she shouted and smacked her head into the steering wheel. "Ow!"

She looked at herself in the mirror. Oh great. Now she had a big red mark on her forehead. She sighed... straightened her shoulders and said 'home' at the GPS. It took her three goes to get it to understand. Stupid thing. She drove a little more sedately than Sean, back to her safe house. 'Safe' she snorted. It was anything but. The things that had happened to her since she had moved into her 'safe' house.

She had already showered, so she changed into her pyjamas, poured herself a very large glass of wine and plonked down on the couch to watch TV. She found a classic movie channel and hunkered down. She thought about calling home, but she was sure she would just cry down the phone and upset everyone.

She had some big decisions to make and she had to make them by herself.

She doubted she could tell Candace what had happened. Jo worried that she was so protective of Sean, she might think Jo was using him. Jeez, what was she going to do?

Shop. That always made her feel better. With that thought she felt a little better and she brushed her teeth and fell into bed.

Confession

Sean had left Jo at the office to head home on her own. First bit of real work together and he had fucked up big time. Fucked her. He scrubbed a hand over his face as he drove. He had a stop to make, a confession. Needed to clear his head. Figure out what the hell he was doing.

He changed direction, turning off the freeway to Head for Inglewood Park and Stacy. He had to talk to her. Ask her to forgive him.

By the time he had driven the winding lanes and pulled up near where she lay, he was shaking. And he'd finished the pack of cigarettes... Christ, he'd only bought it yesterday. He sat in the truck and just breathed for a minute, not looking at anything.

With a deep sigh, he pulled himself upright and out of the truck. Shut the door softly. He walked slowly through the graves, his head down. Found where she slept. Knelt at her feet. Rubbed his hand over his face.

How the hell do you tell your wife you just had sex with another woman? That you're crazy about her? Sean bit his lip and raised his head enough to see the bright white stone. With the angel on it. Jesus, he had called Jo his angel.

He took a ragged breath. "I love you, Stace. You know that. I'll always love you." His voice broke and he sobbed, once. Cleared his throat and tried again.

"I have a new partner. D's good, though. Don't worry. And Candace is gonna have a baby." Fuck, he was rambling. Get to it, Vetter. Another deep breath, not quite so shaky.

"She's from Australia. Here for a joint op. Her name is Jo. I... I like her, Stace. A lot. I tried not to, I really did. But, I miss you so much, baby... and the closeness we had. So much. She's so different... blonde hair and blue eyes." He laughed a little. "Can you imagine... me and a blonde? Never happen, right?" He rubbed his hand over his face again.

"Well, it has and I don't know what to do. Help me, Stace. Tell me what to do. I want... fuck, I don't know what I want. But, I can't keep on the way I've been. I want to live again, Stace. To feel something besides pain. You understand?

She makes me feel good. I've laughed more this past week than I have since... than I have for two years. I need to be able to laugh again. Or I'm gonna just end up eating my gun. I know you wouldn't want me to do that. It's the only thing that's stopped me up until now."

Sean leaned forward and stretched to put one hand on Stacy's headstone. He lowered his head and closed his eyes. Just stayed that way and tried to breathe.

"I slept with her, Stacy. I didn't mean to. We were on a stakeout. You know how boring they are. We were just fooling around... joking. I thought I was joking. She had to pee... When I went to put her back in the truck... she's so tiny she can't climb in by herself... she looked at me and I lost it. I kissed her. And she kissed me back."

He shook his head and smiled, shame-faced. Snorted. "I took her to a motel. Shit, I haven't done that since you and I were teenagers and snuck out of school. You remember? We made love, Stace... at least I did. It wasn't just fucking. And I'm not even sure how she feels. I know she wanted it then, but I don't know if it was just this once... she may go back home when this job is done. I don't want her to. It'll break me."

He sighed again and wiped the tears off his face. When had he started crying? "I guess I gotta tell her, huh? Fuck! You know I'm not good with words. What do I say?"

A few minutes more passed silently, the big man just hunched over, his shoulders shaking as he silently sobbed. He heard tires on gravel behind him and realized the sun had set. It was probably the guard making sure everyone was leaving.

"I gotta go, baby. I'll be back, though. I want you to meet her. I'll see you soon."

He patted the stone and slowly rose to his feet. Rubbed his face and took a deep breath. Got himself back together. Heard the car behind him move on. Walked back to his truck and drove home.