Name: Shattered Glass

Author: Sdfreeze

Chapter 21

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

21

Esme helped me to a guest room and waited while I showered. She gave me a pair of Edward's boxers, along with a large t-shirt that fit more like a nightgown. I came out of the bathroom and she stood to hug me tightly.

"Thank you," she said sweetly. "I knew if it was possible to bring him back, you would find a way."

"I don't know what happened, Esme. I had given up. I let him go, but he came back and saved me."

She pulled away and I saw Carlisle standing in the doorway. He held out the phone saying, "I called Charlie."

They both left the room to let me talk to my hysterical father. He insisted on showing up for the statement the next morning. He assured me he would be able to remain in the room with me as a 'professional courtesy'. It did give me some measure of comfort to know he would be there.

I went into the sitting room to find Alice and Rosalie with tear stained faces. They both ran to me and we collapsed in a heap of hugs. Everyone was talking at once; I was telling them how glad I was they weren't there, as they were apologizing for not being home.

We finally calmed down enough for Carlisle to make his way over to me. "May I check your neck, dear?"

I lifted my head and he used a long Q-tip to put some ointment on the rope burn circling my throat. I looked into Carlisle's eyes and asked, "Where's Edward?"

"He went with Emmett and Jasper. They are picking up some things at your apartment. Edward said to call him if there is anything specific you want, if not, he will just pack a bag for you."

Alice interrupted, "I gave him some suggestions, but he seemed sure of what you would need. The guys are getting our stuff, too."

"You're staying here?" I asked.

"I'm not going back there," Rosalie said assuredly. "You managed to make The Strangers seem like Disney."

I looked at Carlisle and asked the one question I was dying to know, but afraid to hear the answer. "Will he forget again, is this temporary?"

"No, dear, once his memory was triggered it all came back. He is feeling pretty awful right now, but I told him we're thankful to have him back, nobody will judge him." He choked up and couldn't continue so he silently mouthed, "Thank you."

I felt the tears begin to form out of sheer relief and happiness. "Rose," I said with authority, "Marry Emmett. Don't wait for life to be perfect and miss your opportunity."

She smiled and shook her head in agreement. "Yeah, I'll tell him to get ready for a summer wedding."

"No," I yelled, "have a Christmas wedding."

"It's cold and ugly at Christmas," she complained.

"It is supposed to be about being with the man you love forever, not the decorations. Please tell me you two have learned something from all this mess with me and Edward," I cried.

"Um, Jaz and I are moving in together," Alice said softly.

"What?" Rose and I said at the same time.

"We were waiting for you and Edward to move back in, so Emmett and Rose wouldn't be left without roommates."

We all hugged and laughed until Alice asked me to tell them how Edward remembered.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I had kicked him out and he was with another girl. The next thing I knew he was saving me. We haven't even talked about it yet," I said as I looked out a window. "They've been gone quite awhile."

"They probably went for a drink or something," Rose said. I tensed and began biting on my lip, so Rose reached out for my hand. "I want to tell you something, Bella. Emmett told me Edward was not sleeping with all those women."

"You don't have to lie to me, Rose. I'm okay."

"No, I'm serious. That was why Edward was drinking so heavily. He told Emmett he just couldn't do it, he thought something was physically wrong with him. Emmett told him he just needed to get you out of his system. So….did he?" she asked, slightly embarrassed.

I shook my head and looked at my hands.

"Is there something wrong with him?" she pushed.

"Not that I could tell. It just wasn't Edward. He was….." I couldn't finish my thought.

"Impotent?" she said, thinking that was what I was struggling with.

"No," I screamed and hit her with a pillow. "He was more than willing, I just couldn't go through with it. I wanted him to be the man I love, not some playboy using me for the night. I let him go."

I looked out the window again and thought I heard Emmett's jeep.

"Did you know the guy who attacked you?" Alice asked.

"I saw him last year, outside the other store. He began following me and Edward showed up and scared him off," I shook my head in disgust. "Can you believe I actually yelled at him for it."

"Was he after you specifically?" Rose asked.

"I don't know, I can't believe he was looking for me for a year. I think it was random. Edward kicked the shit out of him, that's for sure," I smiled.

"Was he going to rape you?" Rose pushed.

I rolled my eyes at her, "No, Rose, he wanted to steal my homework. He had a huge knife and said he was going to cut me to pieces. He never asked for money or anything." I lowered my voice and said, "He ripped my shirt off."

I began to shake and I looked out the window again. "I thought I heard Emmett's jeep. Where could they be?"

Alice walked to the window and said, "The jeep is here, maybe they took Edward's car."

We were all staring towards the window when Jasper said, "What's so interesting?"

All three of us screamed at the same time, causing the guys to laugh. I jumped from the couch and ran to Edwards arms, "Where have you been?" I demanded.

He pulled back and gave me a funny look before saying, "Do I know you?"

My heart skipped a beat and all three guys busted out laughing. I was furious and pushed Edward away from me as tears filled my eyes. "Come on, Bella, I was joking. Don't be mad."

Something broke inside of me and I pushed him hard causing him to take a couple of steps back to steady himself. I moved forward and pushed him again, so he reached out and grabbed my arms.

"Don't be mad?" I screamed at him. "I had to see you passed out drunk, I had to watch you parade woman after woman in front of me, I had to sit there as you flirted and mauled other girls, and I had to listen as you told me you wouldn't want me even if your memory returned."

"Bella, I…."

"That wasn't even the worst part," I screamed louder. "I had to look at your bleeding body in my arms and think I killed you, and then watch some psycho try to stab you with a knife."

He pulled me tightly to his chest and let me sob in his arms. He rocked me back and forth, continuing to apologize as I tried to gain control. Everyone stood silently until I managed to ask, "Where were you? You were gone so long."

Edward took my hand and led me to guest room as everyone followed. He opened the door and I heard Rose and Alice gasp. All the twinkling snowflakes were hanging in the dark room and a Christmas tree was in the corner, lit and decorated. "We missed Christmas," he said into my ear.

"I am so having a Christmas wedding," Rose announced, then quickly added, "Is that our tree from storage?"

Emmett and Jasper pulled their girlfriends from the room and shut the door. "I can't believe you did this," I cried.

"When I walked into your room I was stunned by the lights. It was beautiful and I didn't appreciate it before. I'm sorry, love." He pulled my necklace from his pocket and opened his hand, "I will get this fixed first thing Monday morning." The pain he was feeling was written all over his face and it hurt just to look at him.

I held out my hand and watched the jewelry fall into my palm. "Edward," I said softly. "I really need you to kiss me right now."

He reached out with his hand and lifted my chin, so he could look into my eyes. "Bella," he said as his voice cracked, "I love you."

I melted into his arms as he kissed me in the familiar way he used to. I could feel his love and I felt like I belonged to him. His lips were soft against mine and he folded his body around me. I felt safe. We stood there in the middle of the room getting reacquainted with the feel of each other and I noticed how Edward seemed to grow more nervous.

"Let's just hold each other tonight," I suggested. "No pressure and no expectations."

He smiled and looked at the bed. "I bought you a Christmas gift," he said.

"It's not Christmas, and you already gave me one, remember." I held the necklace up to remind him.

He walked over and pulled down the comforter to show a brand new pillow with a big red bow. I squealed like a child and jumped into the bed.

"It is made from the down of baby geese, and guaranteed to be the softest pillow on the market," he said as he undressed and climbed in next to me.

We laid facing each other only inches apart. "Did baby geese die for this?" I asked, pretending to be sad.

"You tried to feed me Bambi's father as I recall."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Bambi's mother died, not his father."

"Whatever, it was much more upsetting than molting geese."

"City boy," I laughed.

He kissed me again and I felt like the ground was falling out from under me. He could turn my world upside down with his kisses alone. When he moved back to his own pillow I stared into his eyes, verifying he was indeed the man I love.

His eyes lowered to my neck and then quickly moved away. I knew it must be hard for him to remember how he treated me, and try to reconcile that with the fact he saved my life.

"Are you ready to answer some questions?" I asked him.

He took a deep breath and nodded.

"You told me it wouldn't matter if you remembered or not. You didn't want to be in a relationship with me." My heart ached just to repeat his words.

"Everyone tried so hard to fill in the blanks for me. I got information, I got stories, but there was no emotion attached to them, I didn't feel anything. When I was around you I would get the weirdest sensation. It is really hard to explain. It felt like an echo of past feelings, but I couldn't connect it to anything."

"Your drinking…."

"Gave me an excuse not to feel. It made me seem normal, if there was some other reason for my behavior than just a blank slate in my head."

"The women?" I asked quickly before I lost my nerve.

"I made it look a lot worse than it was, Bella. In fact, I tried to do it around you, because it stirred something in me. I could feel something, but I didn't understand what it was. When you were gone I was just empty again, and I would send them home."

"You hurt me very badly," I admitted.

"Can you forgive me?" he asked, his eyes dropped from mine in shame.

"It was nothing you did on purpose, Edward. I can't hold a brain injury against you." I reached out and tangled my fingers in his. "What made you finally remember?"

"The moment the elevator doors opened and I saw his face it all came flooding back. I almost lost it right then. I could tell he had something in his hand and I didn't know if it was a gun or not."

"But," he confessed, "It started with the kiss, when you asked me to kiss you the way you would want to be kissed. It was so different. It freaked me out, but not like the other stuff that triggered small sparks in me."

"You left," I said quietly, remembering how easily he walked out of my room.

"I didn't know how to handle it," he admitted.

"And you went right to another girl," I pointed out, feeling a bit of anger rising.

"Bella, I hoped to stay the night with you, to fix some issues I was having with…" He shook his head painfully and refused to finish the sentence, so I said it for him.

"Not being able to have sex with other women?"

He looked at me with shock and widened his eyes before confirming my statement. "Yeah, and I was determined to get you out of my head. It was stupid, but it placed me at the elevators. I can't imagine what would have happened if I wasn't there."

"I had no idea you remembered. You didn't give it away, at all."

"I knew something was up when you didn't say anything or look at me, so I looked at the guy." Edward chuckled and shook his head. "The hardest part was letting Kari still touch me. I wanted to scream at her to keep her hands off me in front of my girlfriend."

I smiled and reminded him, "I did hear you tell her to get off of you."

"It was nothing close to what I wanted to say," he shuddered. "I called the cops, but once I heard you scream, I couldn't wait any longer."

"I didn't want him to hurt you," I cried. "I was so afraid when I realized it was you fighting him."

"I don't want either one of us to be afraid, ever again," he whispered and ran his finger down my cheek.

"I love you," I said softly to his hesitant eyes.

"I love you," he whispered back.

"I want you," I added, and watched him swallow nervously.

He moved to hover over me, and I wrapped my legs around his, letting my feet rest on his calves. He inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, "I remember this," he smiled.

"I've missed you so much," I said as I pulled him to me.

We moved together, under the twinkling snowflakes, as the memories of each other's body flooded our minds. He lost all fear in the sweetness of knowing exactly what I wanted, and needed. His macho pretense was gone, and his vulnerable confidence returned.

I held him with a desperation only found in poetry. My body needed him to understand he was my entire reason for existing. We cried out together, with a passion too intense for words, and collapsed in each others arms, holding tightly to one another, unable to think coherently.

Our tears mingled together as we cried for all the pain we had lived through, and all the joy waiting for us in a life as one. We settled, contently wrapped in each other, and I concentrated on his even breathing.

"Bella," he finally said.

"Yes."

"Merry Christmas."