BECKY
Jake had disappeared upstairs with Lea for a while now, but somehow I was unsurprised. Eventually I heard the shower start and was happy to think maybe my friend was up and out of bed. It had been in the back of my mind all morning that I couldn't help but be concerned if Lea was going to be alright today. She had such a shock yesterday with everything that had happened at her old station and I vividly recalled how Lea had almost turned off to life after the actual attack. It had been a dark time for all of us and one I don't think we would want to re-visit.
Still Lea had seemed alright last night with Jake near, so maybe I was overly worried for nothing. The TV blared across the room from us playing one of the morning shows. My attention was drawn to Embry as he shuffled around, stopping to give me a smile before his eyes slowly drifted closed again. Whatever part of my brain was currently occupied with thoughts for my friend was being bombarded by everything that had just happened between Embry and me.
He had seemed almost unburdened after he had shared all of his errands from that morning with me. He had lain back down, his head resting in my lap, seeming to want to gather his energy before facing the rest of the day. I was glad he could relax, from the strained look about his face he needed it; but everything from the last twelve or so hours had positively left my entire world spinning.
More then maybe even I cared to admit I wanted to help Embry. I couldn't even fathom having so many personal questions about your life and people hiding the answers to them. I kind of felt badly for his mother, but at the same time, felt like the greatest thing she could have given her son was to end his quest for knowledge. She had to know he wondered about where he came from. I could understand her feeling poorly for her own choices, but it also seemed to me like she should see telling the truth to her child, who was now an adult and could handle it, was just more important then hanging onto her shame.
So in the end I couldn't blame Embry for essentially taking his life into his own hands and doing what he had to in order to get the answers he pondered. My only apprehension was the reaction Jake and even Lea would have if they found out what Embry had done and the fact I now knew. They would feel betrayed, especially Jake I think because of the fact it dealt with his friend and his family. In the same token, I knew that even if they came crashing down here right now about it I would defend Embry for his choice. I would have trouble telling Lea something that I knew could destroy her when I didn't even know if it was true.
Everything in complete honesty was a huge mess at the moment. At the same time, there was sweetness to Embry gently resting here with me. Closeness up until this morning we had not had. I could tell he trusted me a lot more now and that the fact I'd given him my word to keep his secret until he got the results of the paternity test had really been a stepping stone for us. Was I making the right choices? I think so; I hoped so, because it certainly felt like I was.
The shower upstairs shut off and after the usual amount of time for dressing I heard both Jake and Lea stomping down the stairs. I reached to shake Embry but saw his eyes were already open and looking over towards the entrance of the other couple. Embry pulled himself up with a sigh and turned smiling at me with a look of exhaustion. With so much happening around him lately I was really starting to feel like Embry might be wearing down to a frazzle. It worried me all over again and I felt myself bite my lip, trying not to comment on his appearance.
Lea entered the living room first glancing at the television before stopping to turn to me. "Hello." Her voice as she spoke to both Embry and I was soft, yet even with her muted tone I was a little shocked to see that Lea seemed fairly well composed. Jake was just steps behind her a well satisfied grin on his face as pulled Lea back against his body, Jake looked over at Embry and I.
"Well you guys haven't moved too much yet." His comment was meant in a good natured way and I couldn't help but study my friend and her boy friend across from me, wondering how she could seem so normal after something so terrible having happened to her.
"Lea, are you alright?" I needed to ask the question, I watched her expression warm at my concern.
"Yeah, maybe for the first time in a long time, I don't feel like I have a ghost from my past haunting me." Jake nuzzled the side of her head with obvious affection. I could easily tell that something more had happened, even beyond Jake's little outing that morning, but I also got the feeling Lea wouldn't want it to be a group conversation. I made a mental note to talk to her about it later.
I watched my friend's eyes look past me to Embry, concern now on her face. It didn't surprise me that his haggard appearance worried her. I just hoped it didn't lead to an exceptional amount of questioning from Lea. I'd assumed she would just be distracted by her own issues today, but she actually seemed pretty in control of everything in her life at the moment.
I laid my hand back on Embry's arm, giving Lea a silent signal that I was taking care of him. I watched her glance at my motion then back up at me, question still in her gaze. I knew Lea trusted me though and after exchanging wordless looks she silently nodded her head in understanding that Embry's current state was not to be brought up at the moment.
"Do you guys want some breakfast?" Instead Lea distracted with the topic of food, which I thought seemed pretty usual for her.
"Yes!" Jake trumpeted loudly beside her. I nodded myself, pulling my body off the couch. Embry seemed to hesitate for a moment and I watched Jake's gaze fall steadily on his friend now. Somehow I wondered if it was going to actually be possible for Embry to make it through the morning without being interrogated by someone. Lea appeared to sense her boyfriend's concern and I watched her gently pull him towards the kitchen; the two of them seemly sharing a silent conversation between them of looks and body language.
Embry appeared to finally notice all of the attention he was garnering from everyone and I watched him pull himself up a little straighter. He gave me a weak smile and I returned it, reaching down for his large, warm hand sliding mine inside of its grip. Reaching the next room, Lea was already digging through the fridge and Jake appeared to have been assigned the duty of setting the table.
Unlike other mornings there wasn't as much talk and laughter as there has been. Embry and I sat down, each taking our time to study the table in front of us. Jake finished his task and wandered back over to Lea helping her to mix up pancake batter. Further silence and then Lea finally finished the first round of pancakes bringing them to the table and Jake also settled down with Embry and me to start eating. Lea, I could see was going to make a few more stacks before she joined us, showing me she was well aware how much the men would eat.
Food was passed around and silverware was scraping against dishes as everyone at the table started eating. Lea was still standing in front of the frying pan, a thoughtful look on her face when finally her voice broke through the bubble we all seemed to currently be trapped in. "Hey Em, Becky, this might sound odd but neither of you switched Jake's toothbrush did you?"
There was this awkward frozen moment, Embry's fork poised right outside his mouth food still hanging from it. Jake just continued munching on his pancakes and I got the clear impression that this situation was drawing Lea's curiosity more then his. "I must have dropped it on the floor yesterday. I went into the bathroom and Mick was playing with it pushing it around and I figured Jake wouldn't want to use it after that. Sorry I forgot to tell you." I painted my best fake smile on my face. Jake nodded and shrugged at me, still eating.
"Don't even worry about it." His bass voice murmured around his meal. I watched Lea study me for a few moments, but I kept my expression as innocent as I could muster and after a small space of time she quietly nodded to herself before returning to cooking. Embry cast me one side long glance. Gratitude in his eyes and I let out a breath. This messy situation had just gotten more so and I had firmly planted myself into the middle of it.
Yet I still didn't regret it, squeezing Embry's arm lightly before picking my fork back up and resuming eating. Lea brought over more food before she finally sat to join us. I glanced around the table, studying the face of each person sitting with me. Even though this morning had many complications, inside a part of me clearly felt how right this seemed. The four of us together like this. Now if we could somehow just all get on the same wave length again.
We had all just about finished eating when music broke through the silence of the room. Jake pulled back a little, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and I could see retrieving his cell phone. He glanced at the screen, and I watched his brows knit together in a look of confusion. He flipped the phone open and pressed it to his ear. "Hey Chris, can I help you with something?" I watched Lea attention spring to alert and I couldn't blame her. Why would her old partner be calling her boyfriend.
We all sat watching Jake's expression. It grew solemn and grim his mouth drawing down across his face. "Yeah Lea's right here with me, we'll be there as soon as we can." Flipping the phone shut, Jake drew his hand across his face, and I could hear the growl starting in his chest.
"What's wrong?" Lea reached out for her boyfriend and I was surprised when his chair suddenly slammed back from the table. Lea pulled away swiftly a shocked expression on her face. Embry was to his feet in a heart beat looking over to his friend, I could see confusion and concern in his features. Jake took a few steps back finally resting himself against the counter breathing deeply, quickly regaining control of his temper. He and Embry held one another's gaze for a moment before Jake's eyes turned back to Lea. I realized at some point she too had stood and was waiting to see what Jake needed her to do next.
"Ramon is dead." Jake's tone was matter-o-fact, I think everyone in the room stood for a moment in shocked pause uncertain what to make of the news Jake had just shared with us.
"How?" Embry got his wits back first; I could see his own problems were swiftly being pushed aside by him again for the current more pressing matters.
"It was… the same thing that's been killing all those other people." Jake started to speak, but then his gaze falling on me, he faltered for a moment before continuing. "You know what that means, that thing was right around where I was and I didn't even know it." I watched all the muscles in Jake's torso tense and Lea crossed to him. Her touch placated him slightly and Jake's breathing started to slow again.
"This certainly puts a new perspective on things." I tried to read Embry's expression, but he seemed to be focused solely on his friend. Jake continued frowning and I really got the impression he felt like his not knowing the killer was there was a failure on his part.
"You can't blame yourself Jake. I mean how were you supposed to know some murderer was hanging out there. I mean for all you know he was someone Ramon knew. Ramon wasn't exactly a good person." My solid reasoning didn't seem to do much to help lift Jake's now dour mood. Lea looked thoughtful, rubbing her boyfriend's arm.
"Chris wanted to see us?" Lea's expression was searching. It frustrated me a little that no one seemed to be commenting on what I had just said.
"He's down at the station. He didn't tell anyone about me calling him last night because it was obviously not me that did this, but I was probably the last person to see him alive before he was attacked. He wants to talk to us." Lea nodded, turning quickly to exit the room.
"Let me just grab my purse from upstairs and we can go." And my friend was gone. Jake and Embry were still exchanging glances and I was really getting this very strong feeling that I was missing something about what was going on. That everyone else knew something about this puzzle that I was clueless about and that's why what had happened seemed much more serious then it did to me. I mean Jake had just been in the wrong place, at the wrong time I think. Yet to Jake it seemed like he should have been able to stop the murder that had happened after he left.
Lea was back within the span of a few breaths, coat on and purse in hand. Her mouth set in a determined line, Jake finally pulled himself away from the counter nodding one last time at Embry before crossing the room to her. "We'll be back." I was really trying to understand why Jake was so aggravated, but it was escaping me. I could maybe understand if Ramon had been his friend, but a part of me felt like his death should be a minor relief. The scumbag could never bother Lea again now.
Lea left the room behind her boyfriend flashing me a weak smile and it felt like my head was spinning for a moment. I thought the intensity of Lea's profession had made her life crazy before, but recently with the addition of these guys it seemed to have doubled. Embry was watching the parting couple, we could both clearly hear there foot steps pacing away and then exiting the door, before he flopped back down into the chair he had been sitting in.
"Well this is a proper fucking mess." He sighed and I felt the confused expression return to my face.
"But it wasn't Jake's fault. He didn't have anything to do with that asshole's death I don't understand why it's such a big deal?" I could hear the question and maybe slight aggravation in my tone at my lack of comprehension about anything that was currently transpiring in front of me. Embry's gaze lifted and held mine for quite some time. Just giving me a long considering look. I shifted in my seat wishing he would say something.
"It's hard to explain all the complicated bullshit of our lives Becky, I'm sorry. Just trust me when I tell you this is a lot more frustrating for Jake then it should seem." My lips pursed because I knew that was the best explanation I was going to get from Embry and once again I felt like an outsider to all of these peoples lives.
"I guess I'll have to live with that too huh?" I rose swiftly, suddenly feeling heavy. "Listen would you mind just throwing the dishes in the sink I want to lay down for a little while and I'll clean them up later." I didn't even look at Embry, just exiting the room and jogging up the stairs to my own.
What a morning, I felt like I was being drawn in several different directions. My ordinary life, my friendship with Lea, my budding romance with Embry; all pulling me to be something different for them and surrounding all of it, this unseen secret that was coiled securely around these people that were so important to me, which I couldn't penetrate or understand. I flopped down on my bed face first, just lying there for a moment before finally turning onto my side.
Time ticked by and I attempted to close my eyes but my mind was still buzzing. Somehow I was not surprised in the least when Embry's large frame peered around into my still open door, knocking lightly on the wall trying to summon my attention. "Can I come in?"
It was the first time he had actually been inside my room, which in a way was amusing. I nodded my permission and Embry strode across the floor, stopping to look around at everything before seating himself at the bottom of my bed. "Nice." He gestured around us and I could see it was his awkward attempt to make conversation as I hadn't tired to yet myself.
I sighed, feeling guilt at the fact I knew I had to be stressing out his already burdened conscious. "Thanks." I found I didn't need to force the warm expression that graced my face as I looked at the man across from me. "Embry I'm sorry if I was little snippy at the end in the kitchen down there, you didn't deserve that." I was surprised by the bitter smile that crossed the man's face looking down at me.
"Yes I did. I know how fucking aggravating we are. I really wish I could easily make things more clear for you too Becky, but unfortunately that just isn't going to happen. Our lives are messed up, maybe mine most of all and you deserve better then me." His tone was so self deprecating, any lingering aggravation I was feeling melted away and all that was left was my concern. I was up and scooting across my bed so fast that I hadn't even fully thought through my actions before my mouth crashed into Embry's.
He grunted surprise but accepted me without hesitation. Licking at my lips I allowed him to deepen the kiss, his large frame pressing against my own and we both sank back to the mattress below us. Both of us were so consumed with our emotions not only for the situations surrounding us currently but also and maybe mostly for one another. Temptation to keep pressing forward to keep taking one more step, Embry kissing down my neck, me spreading my legs apart to feel his body press against my heat in between them.
Taunting desire that we could not deny, Embry ripping the shirt from my body, followed almost immediately by my bra, his lips, teeth and tongue finding the soft flesh of my breasts teasing the nipples and causing me to cry out from pleasure. I wanted him, so badly my entire body ached with need. I couldn't remember the last time a man had affected me like Embry currently was, there was a good chance it was never.
"Embry" I groaned out his name, which he replied to with a growl. It sent a shiver through my frame that pooled in my womb, such a primal and beautiful feeling. Embry was a wild creature and I was hoping just for these few moments I could tame him and make him my own. My pants and panties slid from my body together as Embry pulled at them roughly. Panting, his frame hovering over mine I could feel the slick moisture between my thighs as the sight of the huge man above me turned me on in ways I had never experienced before.
"Fuck you smell so fucking good." The groan in his voice caused one of my own. Vaguely some back part of my brain though it was an odd thing to say, but currently my vision was only focused on the growing swell of his cock visible through his jeans and just how good he would feel inside of me.
"I want you." My voice was labored, my thighs wantonly parted to the man before me. I realized the connection we could garner in this moment was maybe what I needed from him most of all right now, to feel like I did mean something to him. To share my adoration for him with him in one of the most primitive ways I know how.
"Are you sure?" His burning gaze rose to mine even as he lowered his mouth deliciously close to the focal point of my pleasure. "I don't want you to do this because you think it's what I want Becky, or because you feel bad for me. I need you to want this because you want to be with me." His voice was tinged with desperation. My brow furrowed wondering how on Earth he couldn't realize just how deep my emotions were becoming for him.
"Embry I have wanted this from the moment I first saw you in the air port only now it's not just a physical need, I want you because I'm falling for you." Embry's gaze softened at my confession, his mouth lowering to my clit, his kisses and attention gentle and teasing, his eyes watching my reaction. I can't stop the cry that escapes my lips, as my head falls back against the pillows; I take in a deep breath trying to regain some portion of my senses and am soon completely lost as Embry mouth and tongue find the true source of my heat.
I soar, to such a height of pleasure and passion that for a moment I can't think or see I just am and the only other being that exists in the entire world but me is Embry. My thighs clamp around him as with a scream I simply let go and allow Embry to take me to a place where everything I'd been worried about all morning just disappears into a molten dream of desire. Panting, feeling the pleased grin on my face as Embry leans up, kissing my lips I taste myself and him. We taste good together, right. The large man leans back for a moment just watching me before with a whine of need he rips his own shirt from his body.
His frame is as chiseled and perfect as Jacob's had been that first morning he had wandered into the kitchen shirtless. I also noted somewhere in my mind that Embry had exactly the same tattoo Jacob had in the same place. I wanted to wonder why, but Embry was undoing the front of his pants. Pulling them down a groan of desire left my mouth. His cock stood ram rod straight pointed at me, dewy with pre cum. Embry watched my reaction to him, stroking himself watching me squirm as I couldn't hold back my need to feel him inside me.
"I want you Embry." I repeated my plea from earlier and he smiled. It was probably the cockiest grin I had seen him make so far, but it quickly fell as he leaned in closer, kissing my cheeks, my chin, my nose and finally just looking into my eyes for a few moments.
"I want you too Becky, more then I have ever wanted anyone ever before." A realization had crossed Embry's face and I looked up at him curiously. Lowering his mouth to right next to my ear Embry whispered. "I'm falling in love with you too." He thrust into me just as he finish his proclamation and it was like my heart and my body filled up with him at exactly the same time. We both paused for a small expanse of time, just enjoying the feel of our bodies joined as one. I moved my hips first, giving Embry permission to continue, I needed him to finish now.
We made love in slow strokes, each of us thoroughly learning from and enjoying the other. Embry started on top of me, but half way through flipping me, so I was straddling him. He just held my hips watching me through half closed eyes a look of pleasure and devotion on his face. I kissed him, enjoying the way my breasts felt dragged along his hard chest.
Finally the intensity between us building Embry flipped us once more and began to thrust into my body with greater speed. I held on to him almost as if for dear life, my whole frame on fire, from both his heat and the building explosion inside of me. I screamed out again as I came, Grabbing his arms fiercely my body arching up against his.
Embry thrust into me a few more rough times before crying out hoarsely I felt his seed fill my womb. He was panting and sweaty, his hair clinging around his face. He looked so gorgeous and feral and he was mine. Another shiver of pleasure racked through me at the thought.
Embry collapsed by my side just staring at me for a few moments, his expression thoughtful before he kissed me again, pulling my body in close to his. "That was much better then what you write your books."
I blinked for a moment at his comment before letting out a loud laugh. "I have to leave some things out to keep the element of surprise." I smiled cheekily at the man next to me. It might not last for long but for this moment everything finally felt just right.
Wow, I would like to apologize that it's been so long since I have posted here. I took a break from the fandom for a while, but I genuinely really love this story and I really enjoyed talking to the people I met here so I'm going to give this a whirl again. I have rough outlines for almost the rest of the book done, there are about 20 chapters left and I hope I can get them all up here and published.
I want to thank anyone who left me new reviews and favorites and follows and for giving me little nudges that Jake was still waiting here for me to finish telling his tale! I love all comments, reviews, PM's whatever! I just love talking to people here so please don't hesitate to send me any thoughts and once again a huge thank you to anyone who is still with this piece!