Authors note: It is currently 3 a.m. where I am at… yes I know it's often that time… I really don't sleep well. Lots of stress… but every chapter is like a mini vacation from my problems. This chapter will likely be short… but that's so I can finish it and post it hopefully tonight… I say that… but it could be much longer. And I might not finish tonight… we will see. I didn't finish… but by tonight I will. Onward my ducklings.

I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not. The room is dark aside from my glowing blue magic. Papyrus has long since fallen asleep. I'm not doing anything wrong. I know I'm just trying to justify my actions. I feel… bad about what I'm doing. He's always been a heavy sleeper, and I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not. There's no reason for me to… worry. He's asleep and I'm not doing anything wrong.

My magic is glowing brightly in the dark room. I let my hand slip under the waistband of my shorts and into my boxers. I'm not doing anything wrong. I shouldn't feel embarrassed about… relieving pent up tension. He's to fucking close. His long arms are draped over me. I can't move out of his hold… and I love it. I love being this close. I love the feel of his bones grazing mine. But I don't have the self-restraint that he does. I need to relieve myself. I'm not doing anything wrong. And if I'm quiet… he will never know.

He smells like spices. Basil and oregano and also tomatoes. The scent is almost comforting. It reminds me of eating with him. The more times he cooks, the more edible the spaghetti gets. I'd eat it regardless of how it tastes as long as it continues to make him happy. The thoughts aren't distracting me from other needs like I wanted them to. It's counter effective. He's just to close.

I shudder when I slip one finger inside. Just one finger. That'll be enough. Maybe. I don't know if I will be able to satisfy myself. My middle finger twitches inside just before I slide the digit out. It's already slick. His tongue was inside of me. The thought makes my soul flutter. I'm just curious. There's nothing wrong with being curious. I'm not doing anything wrong. I form a tongue and lick my middle finger clean. It's sweet. Overly sweet. I don't know if it's the taste or just the knowledge of exactly what I'm doing while licking my finger… but it's arousing. My hand slides back down into my pants, but this time I press in two fingers. Papyrus was so much bigger. So much more satisfying.

I groan slightly before dipping my fingers back inside. It isn't enough. Not deep enough... not big enough. He stirs slightly and I force my body to still. I force my desires in the back of my throat. I don't need to be caught doing this…. No… I'm not doing anything wrong. Even if he did see… it's not like he hasn't seen me in pleasure. I'm not doing anything wrong. What I'm doing isn't dirty. It's normal… healthy even. I still don't continue until he's gone still again.

I can see the glimmer of his soul through his night shirt. I want to reach out and touch it. But I know that would wake him, so I content myself by pressing my skull against his ribcage and listening to the gentle hum. The sound only encourages my fingers back inside. My hips rock into my fingers. So good. Not good enough. A little harder. A little deeper. It's not the same as with Papyrus. But I don't need him to touch me so that I can feel good.

"Papyrus." The name leaves my mouth before I can quiet it. I hold my breath, when he doesn't wake I return to touching myself. I don't know what I'm doing. No. I'm not doing anything wrong. He isn't going to wake up. It's fine. "Papyrus… it feels good. I can't be around you. When I am… I just…" I need to be touched. My thoughts stop screaming when he's close to me. "Papyrus. I love you. I love you so much. Felt so good. Felt so happy. We are mates." I'm rocking faster. I can't calm down. Sometimes when I rock into my fingers, my legs will knock against Papyrus's. I try not to get satisfaction when I hear bone on bone grinding. "I'm not doing anything wrong."

"Neyh?" His tired eyes open and the energy drains from my face. It's replaced with only embarrassment. "Sans? What are you doing." I'm pressed close enough where he cannot see my face. "Was it a bad dream. A nightmare?" I'm awful. He's concerned about me and I was busy… being busy. "It's alright Sans. I'm here. It was just a dream."

"It wasn't a dream." I don't want to lie to him… I wasn't doing anything wrong.

"Of course it was Sans. We are both safe and…"

"No… I mean. I wasn't sleeping." He pushes me back slightly and I let him.

"Sans, I do not understand what you…" My magic is still flared up. My hand is still down my pants. "Oh." I can't look at him.

"I wasn't doing anything wrong." I feel dirty. I don't like feeling this way.

"O… of course you weren't Sans. You aren't in heat though."

"No. I'm not in heat." It doesn't matter that we spend three days repeatedly becoming one. Already I want more. Already I want to be touched that way again. By him.

"Why were you… loving yourself?"

"I guess I was just pent up, and I've been sleeping in your bed every night so I haven't been able to touch myself. I just couldn't stop myself." I can hear my soul loudly thumping.

"You… did not want for me to touch you? Am I… Sans am I not able to make you feel good. I know that I am not very experienced, but I will try to please you better." He's upset.

"Heh, what are you talking about bro. Of course you make me feel good. You make me feel really good." It's true. It's embarrassing to say out loud, but I can't just let him think he isn't good enough. "To good. I just start thinking about it, and get like this." My soul is nervous. His eyes light up.

"Why did you not tell me Sans? I thought that… maybe you didn't want me to touch you. Maybe you feel better when it's just you."

"I didn't know how to tell you that… I wanted you to touch me." He's going to tell me how silly that is. He's going to tell me I should have just said it.

"I understand." His thumb is scratching against the back of my head. "Without having the heat intensifying everything. Without having it take away the nervousness… I don't know how to tell you that I want to touch you. It feels lewd.. and naughty. I do not want to pressure you, and though I want to touch you, I fear you may not want the same." It's quiet between us. "Sans?"

"Yea Paps?"

"If I were to ask to touch you, in lewd ways, what would you say?"

"I'd uh… I'd say that you can touch me however you want." My soul is thrumming loudly. I'm sure he can hear it.

"Sans?"

"Yea Paps."

"May I touch you in lewd ways?"