Jacob POV

Who was it that led you on

That made you want to hurt me so?

Who are you out to forget

Who's forgot you long ago?

I could try and pretend like she didn't hurt me, but then I would be lying to myself. Hurt was the weakest adjective I could use to describe what I felt. Betrayed, infuriated, dejected, thrown out…

We had a chance, a real chance, at making something great. We were making something great before that fucking leech had to come back and ruin it all. It had taken months for Bella to break out of her shell, and when she did I could tell that we would never be just friends, again. I knew she had feelings for me, which she showed on more than one occasion, and that is what makes this so hard. The 'if's are clawing at me. The two of us would have been happy and satisfied. But not now. She blew it.

I waited six hours, paced my bedroom, and stared at the fridge before I got the nerve to go back to Bella's house. I sat in the woods outside her window and watched as the leech drove her home. I wanted to run out then, and tell her how I shouldn't have talked to her the way I did. I was going to, until the leech reached down and kissed her. She kissed him back.

There are some things that you can't forget, things that you wish you could un-see. This was one of those things. I didn't want to think about how Bella had been kissing me just hours before, and how now she was getting cozy with someone who left her. I wanted to rip his eyes out and beat him to a bloody pulp, the fucker, but I couldn't. I was stuck in the woods, frozen heart and frozen body.

She made good on her promise, for she called the next day. It was so hard to pick up when I knew what I would hear. Sure enough she managed to tell me that she was staying with Edward, that his family was planning on staying for a long time, and that she understood if I didn't want to talk to her.

It's been four weeks.

The first week I sat in my room and pretended to have the stomach flu. I didn't feel like going to school or town, with the possibility that Bella would be prancing around with her boyfriend.

The second week Bella started calling every hour until I unplugged the phone. I spent the least time at home that week, avoiding Billy and Charlie when he came over. I ran extra patrols, to feel the rush of running as a wolf, and also because we had a Victoria threat now.

The third week I got a letter from Bella. I read it and then burnt it on the beach. It said something like "I am really sorry and should have handled this differently but I love Edward…" blah, blah, blah.

The calls finally died down about two days ago. Without the constant ringing and beeps of the answering machine, I could finally think. I had gone over it and over it. The source of the problem was not in my control. At first I blamed the leech, then Bella, then myself. It was no one's fault that I was currently sitting alone on the beach. You can't help whom you love. You can't stop loving someone just because they don't love you back. This kind of love is deeper than a high school crush; I was hopelessly in love with Bella Swan while she was still in love with Edward, even with everything he did to her. Things were not going to work out for the two of us. I wasn't meant to have her, he was. The sooner I accepted it, the sooner I could move on.

Started with a perfect kiss

Then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

I practically leaped off of the driftwood log. I wasn't getting anywhere, by sitting here and moping over a girl. Who said that I had to find the girl of my dreams at sixteen, and never love again? I could find someone who wanted me back, someone who chose me first and never second.

Screw this whole situation. If Bella wasn't able to see what a great thing we could have, then I wasn't going to waste my time trying to show her. If she was so set on having Edward forever, that was her decision. I just hope she knows what she is getting into…and missing out on.

I would let her go. I would set her free, no longer telling her who was the better choice or trying to make her love me back. This was her life and she was making her own choices. I was wasting my youth, pining over a girl who would never feel the same about me. I'm a teenager and I should be dating up a storm, not trying to plan the rest of my life. If I was going to be stuck in La Push for the rest of my life, then I should at least get over my girl problems.

I walked home, not bothering to phase. The wind in my hair felt nice, having a chance to think to myself without the pack reading my every thought. Things were tenser than ever with the hunt for Victoria. I felt like the challenge had been amped up ever since the Cullens brought news of her little army.

I hated thinking that Bella was in more danger than before. With this current situation between she and I, the pack couldn't protect her in Forks like we could before. That was the Cullen's job now. What if they couldn't do it? Sure, they were strong, but the only ones I trusted to protect her, were us. At least the wolves wouldn't turn on her because of bloodlust.

When I got home, dad's car was in the driveway and the lights were on in the house. I made my way up the porch and through the door, almost tripping over three suitcases in the doorway.

"What the hell?"

I recognized the bags that almost broke my leg. They were the same pink and black polka dots I had been used to packing in the truck on all family vacations. I flipped the bag over with my foot, to reveal the cursive R.B she wrote with silver Sharpee.

"Rachel?"

"Baby brother?" She called out, her melodic voice ringing through the house. She stepped from behind her doorway down the hall and ran towards me, throwing herself in my arms. "I missed you Jake. How long has it been?"

"Since Christmas I think."
"Ah, yes, the famous Black and Swan Christmas. Dad burnt the turkey remember?"

"Of course I remember. It was awful and we ended up eating pizza." I laughed. I set her down on her feet and she put her hands on her hips, smiling up at me.

She looked practically the same since the last time I saw her. Her hair was a little longer, falling to the crook in her arm, thick and soft like our mother's. She had a soft glow in her cheeks from the sunnier skies in Seattle.

"You look good, Rachel."

"And you look like crap." She smirked. Her hand twisted around my arm as she pulled me towards the couch. "Tell me all about her."

"What are you talking about?"

"Tell me about the girl who broke your heart. Trust me, I can tell."

I gave her a skeptical look.

"Plus Billy told me about it. So little Bella huh? I always knew you had a thing for her."

"Shut up Rach. You're the last person I am going to talk about my love life with."

"No seriously. Tell me. I can help. I am a girl you know."

"Really? I couldn't tell." I joked. She slapped me in the arm but laughed along with me.

"So, what happened?" She asked, her voice softening as the tone in her voice got more serious.

"It's really nothing. I thought she liked me and then her ex came back."
"And she just went back to him?"

"Yup."

"But you still love her right?"

"Rach, I seriously don't want to talk about this. I'm over it."

"Obviously not. Dad said that you have been moping around for weeks. This wasn't just a crush, was it?"
"No it wasn't." It was so much more than a crush. I wanted to marry her and grow old with her. She was the one I was meant to be with, as cheesy as that sounds.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. She's missing out if she can't see how amazing you are." She rubbed my shoulders and kissed my cheek in a cute sort of sisterly way.

Rachel had always been the more loving one of my two sisters. Rebecca had moved to Hawaii to attend school, married a local, and rarely called home. Though Rachel had always been the popular party girl, she found time to pay attention to her little brother when I really needed it.

"Thanks." I pulled her into a bear hug. I had missed her more than I thought. She came home a couple times a year when she got a break from school. Normally she took vacations with her friends instead of coming home to Billy and me. I guess I didn't blame her, we could be pretty boring.

"What are you doing home anyways?" I asked, surprised she was here so early in the spring.

"I took finals early and decided to spend the summer here. Please, hide your enthusiasm." Her eyes squinted as she looked me up and down. " You know, I could ask you the same question. What are you doing home on a Saturday night?"

"I was on the beach, thinking."

"Sounds fun." She popped up from the couch, adjusting her pink sweat pants and turned towards me. "Come on, get up. Emily called and invited us to dinner and her and Sam's place. I've been dying to see the crew and you're going to take me."

"You really want to spend a night with a whole bunch of adolescent boys?"

"Yes, I am not as shallow as you make me out to be. I like the guys and I've been dying to see Emily."

She skipped off to her room to get changed, while I waited in the living room. Billy wheeled himself out.

"Hey son."

"Hey dad, Rachel really staying all summer?"

"Yes. She broke up with a guy and needed some time away from her friends. She got here only hours ago and already her room looks the same as it did when she lived here. Her stuff is everywhere." He sighed, shaking his head from side to side, his white-grey hair barely touching his shoulders.
"Some things never change. Are you coming to Sam's for dinner?"

"If you don't mind."

"No that sounds great. Emily is such a great cook, I'm sure dinner will be amazing."

"Ok we should probably head over there soon. I'll grab my coat. Would you mind driving?"

"Yeah, let me get Rachel and then we can go."

I dared to enter Rachel's room, hoping she wouldn't be upset that I was 'invading her space' or something. I knocked on the doorway and nudged the door open.

"Rach, we're going to be leaving soon. You almost ready?"

"Almost, just getting my shoes."

I pushed the door open so that I could see her. She was sitting on the edge of her bed in a dress, with her makeup done, and jewelry on.

"Wow, Rach, we're just going over to Sam's."

"Well, I don't want to look like I just sat in a car for four hours." She stood up and flattened the skirt of the dress. "Now tell me I look beautiful so we can go."
"You look beautiful, sis."

"Thank you, Jake. How sweet of you." She led me out of the room and we met up with Billy on the porch.

"Well, Rachel don't you look nice."

"Thanks dad. Now lets get going, we don't want to be late."

***

"Rachel, tell us about school. Billy only gives us so much information. How were finals?" Emily asked, dishing up more mashed potatoes. Sue was helping her in the kitchen, putting assortments of foods on platters and handing them to Emily so she could set them on the table.

"Well, finals are always a pain, but I got through them. Most of my classes are nice, quite large, but I like my professors."

"That's great!" Sue chimed in.

Embry and Quil were practically drooling over the food that Emily had set out on the table. There was a roast too, with potatoes, steamed vegetables, baked pasta, and three different types of pie. We were gathered in the living room, standing while talking to each other. Rachel was the most popular victim for questions and I could tell she was getting a bored. Sam had ordered us to wait until everyone had arrived. We were still waiting on a few people. Leah and Seth had agreed to stop by, even though it was hardest for Leah to be here with all of us.

Quil was leaning against the dining room table, his hands slipping behind him so that he could pull a piece of meat from the platter. Emily had her eyes on him the whole time and slapped his hand away before he could destroy the perfect presentation.

There was a shuffling sound from the porch and then the screen door swung open. Rachel jumped out of her skin and bolted to the front door. Leah, who hadn't anticipated Rachel, almost fell backwards as she was thrown into a hug.

"Oh. My. God. I feel like it's been ages since I have seen you. How are you Lee?" Rachel laughed, squeezing Leah's waist with enormous force. Leah hugged her back with the same intensity. The two of them had been such good friends before Rachel went off to college. Leah was smiling a real smile I hadn't seen from her in a long time. In an instant she was the old Leah again.

"You look different. Something about you has changed. Did you change your hair?" Leah asked, pulling away from the hug and taking in Rachel's appearance.

"Yeah, I got bangs."
"That must be it. You look great by the way." She complimented.

"So do you! This whole wolf thing is really working for you. You look healthy and strong. I'm sure you could kick my ass now."

"You bet, Black. Do you remember that summer when we were arguing about some boy and then our dads had to pull us apart for fighting in town?" Leah laughed like nothing had changed and they were still the same thirteen year best friends.
"I totally forgot about that. You were so angry at me for ripping your favorite shirt." Rachel laughed.

"Yeah and I pulled your hair."

"I would have liked to see that." Quil whispered to me. Leah shot him a cursory glance.

"I can't believe we were so stupid to fight over a crush like that." The two of them were laughing so hard. They had their arms wrapped around each other's waists as they stood there and looked at us.

"Wow, Seth you have gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw you. You used to be tiny like Jake and now look at you. You beefed up." Rachel commented.

"Hey!" He and I whined in unison.

"It's a compliment. You look good."

"Thanks." He shrugged, taking advantage of the wolf genes. He had 'aged' quite a bit since phasing.

"I'm starved, can we eat?" Leah asked. When her eyes found Sam and Emily holding each other in the kitchen, they lost the sparkle from the past couple minutes. It was hard for her to be here, in this house, but she was doing it for Rachel. She put on a brave face and smiled at the two of them. It took Sam off guard. He was expecting the normal Leah, to be grumpy and bitchy, but instead she was polite. He smiled back and Emily looked ecstatic.

"We're still waiting for Jared and Paul. They were on patrol last and should have been here ten minutes ago." I answered.

"Paul was never one for timing," Rachel sighed. "I'm going to use the rest room while we wait." She excused herself, letting go of Leah and passing through the house.

Out of the corner of the window I could see two figures coming towards the house. There was a scuffle and two loud, bellowing laughs rang through the house. Paul and Jared came tumbling through the front door, laughing their asses off.

"Sorry we're late. Paul bet me that he could get this girl's phone number in town." Jared said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Who won the bet?" Leah scoffed.

"I did of course. Girls can't resist me." Paul gloated, lifting his arm up to reveal the ink phone number scribbled on his forearm with a girls name written under it with a heart.

"Pig." Leah joked, shoving him playfully.

"What is this about a girl's phone number?" Rachel asked, moving down the hallway towards us. When she saw Paul proudly holding up his prize she smiled to herself. "You never change."

He looked up to meet her eyes and froze. His body got really stiff and his jaw dropped. I know Rachel looked nice tonight, in her dress with her hair done, but he had seen her since she hit puberty and starting looking more like a girl and less like my sister.

"Rachel?" His voice sounded weak and disbelieving as he took one step towards her. She didn't respond she just stood there smiling at him.

No one dared to move or interrupt them. Sam stood with his brow furrowed, trying to analyze the situation. I wanted to know what the hell was going on. Billy wheeled himself closer to Rachel and put his hand on her back. She turned to face him with a shocked look on her face. Billy's light bulb went off, as he finally understood. He motioned to Sam who came over to the three of them.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, angry that no one felt it was necessary to fill us in on what had happened. Sam looked me in the eyes and communicated with one nod what I had feared. Paul had imprinted on my sister.

I felt the sudden urge to punch him. I wanted my sister to find someone good for her and not be forced into loving someone with wolf genes. He was a player and an asshole. He was my brother, but sometimes he would take things way too far. She deserved someone better than Paul. I felt compelled to say something.

"Shit Paul! You could have imprinted on anyone in the fucking world and you had to pick my sister!"

"It's not like I had a choice or anything." He responded, not at all ashamed.

"Fuck this." I shouted, heading for the door. I wasn't going to be in a room with two brand new imprintees. That was not my idea of a good time. The whole world got to be happy and destiny stepped in to help them out. Where was my happy ending? When would I get the chance to be with the one I loved and needed?

I stormed off the porch and into the woods, tossing my clothes and phasing. Leah was already out there. No one, including myself, had seen her exit. I realized how seeing another member of the pack imprint would affect her. She had been the victim of a bad pair. Sam and Emily getting together had practically ruined her life. If anyone were as upset about love as I was, it would be her.

Hey

What are you doing here Black? Shouldn't you be congratulating your sister or something?

No. She's deserves better than Paul. Besides, I'm not one to jump up and down for other people finding love. The world just wants to screw me over.

I know what you mean. I heard about Bella and the leech. That was pretty bitchy if you ask me. I really thought she was into you.

You're not helping at all.

Sorry.

I know. I really am sorry about Sam. I understand how much that must still hurt.

No you don't, but thanks anyways.

I'm here if you want to talk.

Thanks Jake. She sighed. I could see her mind following her memories of Sam and I almost hurt to watch. I'm going to head home. Are you heading that way?
Might as well.

Leah and I were silent the whole way home. She didn't want to talk about how badly the memory of imprinting hurt her, and I certainly wasn't going to bring up the fact that Bella skewered my heart and set it on fire.

I nodded to Leah when she saw her house in sight and headed off towards it. I just kept running until I got home. I phased and made my way through the back door. I pulled the sweat pants from my door handle and slipped them on. I moved down the hallway, running my fingers along the walls that Bella and I had painted. I could almost smell her as my mind took me back to that night. She had been so sexy and open with me. I was reminded of our first kiss, the way she didn't hold back, and then the second kiss in the garage.

My eyes snapped open when I came to the end of the hallway and she stood in front of me. Her eyes were big and beautiful, her arms wrapped around herself. She was really here, in my living room, staring straight at me.

I wanted to run to her and wrap my arms around her, kiss her like she had never been kissed before, and whisk her off her feet. I hadn't seen her in four weeks and missed her so much. I couldn't bring myself to move an inch. She hurt me and I had done so well at giving her space. I wasn't going to push her for answers or make her apologize. She didn't owe me anything.

I tried to tell her with just my eyes how much I wished she wasn't here now, but I failed. No matter how mad at her I was, there was no way I could help wanting to hold her. She broke me down and made me a love struck boy again.

We didn't speak for a long time. I simply stood there looking at her, a thousand emotions coursing through me. I crossed my arms across my chest, trying to anchor myself in place; I was dangerously close to wanting to hold her, but I needed to stay strong.

"What are you doing here Bella?"

"You don't lock your front door." She mumbled.

"I didn't mean in my living room. I meant, what are you doing here in La Push, in my house? Shouldn't you be at home with the Cullens?"
"I came here for you, Jake. I needed to see you."

"Just now? What about the last four weeks?"

"You wouldn't answer my phone calls. I knew the only way I was going to see you, was if I just came down. I should have come a while ago, I know but I was giving you time to cool off."

"I don't want to see you, Bella."

"You don't want to see me?" She asked, her voice cracking. I could tell she was mere syllable away from tears.

"No. You hurt me, Bella, really bad. How can you expect me to talk to you after what you did?"

"I came to apologize, Jake. I need you to understand why."

"I don't need you to explain anything. You love him. I get it."

"No you don't get it. I love you to and I still need you."
"Why would you need me?"

"You're my sun."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I knew I was shaking and I couldn't lose myself, not here and now. I wanted to believe her, more than anything, but if I did she would still go back to him. There was nothing I could do or say that would make her change her mind about us. The longer she stayed here, the harder it would be to let her go.

"Just go, Bella. I can't talk to you right now."

"Why are you calling me Bella? You never call me that."

"It's your name isn't it?" I knew it was strange for me to call her Bella, I only did when things were serious between us. I couldn't bear to call her Bells now, because it just reminded me of falling in love with her.

"Well yes but—," she sighed, giving up. "I guess."

I turned to leave, not wanting to look at her anymore. "Let yourself out, will you?"

"Ok." She whispered. I could hear the tears in her voice now. I had made her cry and it was killing me. She was killing me.

I kept walking, not able to turn around and comfort her, for I was already pushing it. I went into my bedroom and slammed the door behind me, fell face down onto my bed and waited. I waited until I heard her footsteps carry her to the truck, hearing the door slam and engine start. The rumbling of the truck stalled for a minute until she pulled out of the drive and found her way back to the road.

Once I was sure she was gone, I broke down. I cried into my pillow until I was so tired I fell asleep. I dreamt of Bella, of course, and it hurt more than reality at this point. In my dream she was so happy, with me and us together, there were no conflicts or vampires, just her and me.

I wished more than anything that we could really have that, but when I woke up the world was the same. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and my family was as blissful as ever.

A/N: The song lyrics are Breaking by Anberlin and Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson.