Hello everyone! It's good to be back!
Now, I've thought a lot about how to write the next few chapters, had a few ideas, but chose to do it this way, then slowly start to roll out the mystery of the imposter and Mr. Alec Masen himself.
This chapter may confuse you because of the way the last one ended a bit differently than planned, but, have no fear. The next few will explain everything (I hope!)
And yes, the next few chapters will be posted more regularly, since I have much more time for myself to write.
P.S. this happens few months after chapter 20.
Any and all grammar mistakes are mine.
Enjoy!
Chapter 21
As I let my tears travel down my cheeks, staining my clothes in the process, I keep trying to remember how did my life come to this? I was lying on the hospital bed, body covered in bruises, excruciating, sharp, clear and precise pain traveling through every small part of my body, not letting my brain forget the release I very much needed. Every sharp stab felt like a knife piercing through my skin and into my spine, my heart, my lungs, kidneys. Opening my eyes, bit by bit, I force myself to finally beg for mercy, for pain killers, any kind, but...I'm not able to move. I'm literally tied to the hospital bed by tubes and loud beeping machines.
I panic, looking for a way out, but there is none.
My eyes water at the thought of being stuck like this...for who knows how long.
A sudden smooth soothing voice stuns me, tries to calm me down, make me relax, but it doesn't really help.
Because it's a strangers voice, one that I don't really recognize.
"Hey...shhhh, it will be alright. Calm down. You're safe here. No one will hurt you. Trust me."
Words that have been said before but meant nothing to me anymore. Nothing does. Nothing did anymore.
"You do trust me, don't you?" he asks me silently, a hand gently landed on the top of my shoulder, warm, kind eyes, waiting for my response, but I don't give one. I can't. A tube in my mouth is preventing me to answer.
He seems to realize this too late.
"It's okay, don't answer, just blink once for yes, twice for no."
He waits, but I give him nothing. More tears escape down my cheeks as I try to fight against the tube, needing, wanting to breathe on my own, instead choking on my own unsaid words.
"You've been through a lot, haven't you? Don't worry, we'll give you all the help you need. I need to call the nurse first."
He starts to walk away and my body momentarily starts to panic, little needles puncturing my skin.
I try to get his attention by blinking furiously, shaking my head as much as I can, but he assures me he's going nowhere.
With a push of a button, few moments later, I hear footsteps approaching quickly, and then finally with the tubes gone, I take a deep breath of satisfaction.
A police officer that found me knew nothing too revealing to say, as he found me in the middle of nowhere, stranded with no documents to be found, just bloody torn clothes, and a week pulse. If he didn't found me by accident, who knows what would have happened to me. With a shudder, I try not to think too much about it, and focus more on the other mystery; my life.
How did I get here? Why can't I remember anything? Anyone? And why can't I feel my legs?
Through thorough conversation, the second and third question was easily answered. By the doctor's prognosis, I suffered a big head injury, therefore, memory loss was more than expected. But the last and most important question was to be remained a mystery, since the spine, thankfully, wasn't harmed. I didn't know how, but even though I told the doctor I had no insurance and no money to pay for any and all tests that needed to be done, Emmett (the cop) assured me there is nothing to worry about.
"What kind of people would we be if we let you out on the street in your condition? Actually, don't answer that, just listen. All you need to know is that the doc owes me a favor. He's doing everything he can. Now rest. The sooner you do that, the quicker you'll get out. And at this point, that's what's important for you and everyone."
Over the next few days, the police officer came to visit me, and we even played cards and scrabble. And I won. Every single time.
Even after a concussion, it was obvious he was letting me win.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed in his daily company, even started to crave it; anything to forget about night terrors I seemed to have every single night. They were hazy, filled with fear, sadness and emptiness. And faces. Blurry yet familiar faces. Faces that I seemed to remember yet never able to reach close enough to see, feel them as they slip through my fingers, pleading and yearning for my help. I never could help them, and that was what frustrated me the most. But it didn't matter. I never could show them that. There was a little voice inside my head, soothing and calming that would whisper to me each and every night. To be tough. Not let them see the real me. Be strong on the outside; while breaking in tiny fragile pieces on the inside.
Taking a strong calming breath, I will myself to recreate and build up my walls, high, ever so, so that no one could reach them, touch them, break them ever again.
A person never realizes just how much you easily depend on something so simple such as having two healthy working legs. Being in a wheel chair constantly, I had to learn to be very patient and letting my guard down in order to ask for help.
Pride is overrated, I learned, when your bladder is crying out in the middle of the night, and you're too stubborn to ask for help, instead, you fall down the bed and fracture your hip.
Yeah, that turned out great.
Days and weeks passed as I tried to walk again, fighting my mind and will to believe I'm strong enough to overcome anything bad that comes my way.
If only it were that easy. The voice- so familiar to me now that I could feel as if he were real, as if he were once part of me, not just a figment of my imagination—helped me through my most difficult days. Help to build my life again, making me unbreakable, and finally, comfortable in my own skin.
No longer will I depend on someone else. No longer will I feel weak and powerless.
You might call me crazy, because let's face it...only unbalanced people like me let their own self be persuaded in voices controlling your life, but I didn't care. With head up high, and feet standing firm on the ground, I walked out of the hospital untouchable. I was a fortress. High and strong.
I was Jane Doe no longer.
Six months later, I was finally making some progress. Slowly but surely,I've built up my life again.
Got a job in a local bar. Customers were mostly shitty, and so was the boss, but I was able to handle it. I suspected Emmett had my back, even though I told him I didn't need it, but for his sake, let him do it his way. To be honest, since the release from the hospital, Emmett offered a place to stay, but I knew if I took it, it would only progress to other things.
What things you ask?
Well...things such as...feelings. The worst kind there is. One where he would want dates, and hold hands...share kisses and saying cheesy, lovey dovey stuff, in front of the whole world to see.
I didn't want any of it. Made me cringe just thinking about it.
So I had to let him down, as gently as I could. To show him once and for all that I was not that kind of person he's looking for, and I'll never be.
Still, he hanged around, why, I didn't understand at times, but chose to let it go.
If he wanted to bring himself more suffering instead of choosing to push away the pain, and run away from it...well, who was I to force him?
As the new day ended, and just as I was ready to finally get out from the bar, lock it for another shitty day, a male voice approached me.
"I've been looking for you for a long time. Are you Miss Swan?"
"Look pal," I said, as I was locking up, my back to his chest, "I have no idea who you are, but I'm not this Swan...person you're asking for. Now...leave.
"Oh, I think you might not recognize me, or trust me, but I need you to listen to what I have to say."
"Listen..."I add, backing away slightly from him. This guy doesn't seem familiar to me, but the recognizable feeling of dread he seems to bring with his presence is more than familiar.
"Your walls are cracking," the voice whispers. "Don't let it. Don't forget who you are. Don't let them see you."
I take a deep breath, look the unfamiliar person right in his frightful, yet calm face and ask,
"Who are you and what the hell do you want?"
"I need you to listen..."
"Then talk, now. You have one minute before..."
"Before what? You call the police? Do you know who I am?"
"No...And I'm not sure I want to. Now talk, or get the hell out of my face." I walk away, taking bigger strides, in hopes I'll somehow lose him, but he walks next to me with ease.
The bastard smirks darkly. "Well...believe it or not I'm here for your safety."
"No, I believe that's what the police officer that waits inside that very car is here for. To keep me safe from people like you."
I point at the police car parked at the middle of the parking, but that does not frighten him.
The laugh that gets out of mouth is loud and harsh.
"You really don't remember who I am. Hmmm, I guess that head injury was much worse than I assumed. Does the name Miriam sound familiar to you?"
I shake my head. "No."
"How about Mr. Mas..."
A loud voice interrupts us. It's not Emm, but one of his colleague. Good, maybe he'll have better luck getting this guy off my back
"Looking for trouble there Jane?"
"It's Anna. My name is Anna."
The cop says nothing, but I could see his eyes rolling slightly as in saying, "whatever".
"And no, I'm fine. But this...gentleman certainly is asking for some."
The bastard smirks once more, showing his white teeth.
"All I wanted was to talk to this young lady..."
"In the middle of the night? Of course you were."
"Fine. Let's do it the harder way then," he adds quickly, and with a whoosh, he's at Jim's side, punching him in the face.
"What did you just do?!" I yell, kneeling at his side, trying to wake him up.
"He's gonna be fine. Come on, we don't have much time."
"I'm not going anywhere with you. Let me go! I'll scream!"
I hear him mumbling something to himself before I feel his hands around me. I try to scream, but in moments, I feel myself losing conscience.
Opening my eyes, slowly, the first thing I see is him.
"Ready to listen?" he asks, like we were talking for hours.
"What do you want from me?" I croak, my mouth is in desperate need for some water. I try to move my hands, but I'm unable to. My body is completely tied up against the chair.
The space I'm in is small, 4 by 4 square feet, with barely any light from the outside.
"I need you to listen. Mr. Masen sent me to find you. When I did, I was afraid it was too late. Then that cop came out of nowhere with backup and I had to hide. If I didn't, it would have looked suspicious, and mistakes like that only get people into more shit."
"What are you talking about?"
"You really don't remember?"
"Remember what?! All I know is that I woke up in a hospital with no memory whatsoever and a big black hole in my brain."
"Believe it or not, we both had been fucked over by life. Fortunately, we both had help given. It was unfortunate that it was given too late."
"Who fucked you over?"
"Enough chit chat," I hear another voice interrupts us. My blood instantly boils.
Wait...That voice...why is it so familiar? Why does it bring such instant fear and helplessness?
"Welcome back, Miss Swan. I've been expecting you. Now...let's have a little talk."
"I'm not doing shit."
"You're a courageous little thing, aren't you? Even tied up against the chair, with nowhere to go, you still defy me? You're just like him. You two have more in common than I realized."
"I have no idea what or who you're talking about. Now... let. Me. Go."
"You're right Five. She is feisty. I like it."
"Told you Sir."
"Too bad we don't have time. You know how I like to have fun."
"Oh, indeed Sir."
A sigh. "Well then... Let's get to it."
"To what?" I ask.
"Remember this person on the picture?" he asks, putting it on the table, in front of me.
"I'm not saying a thing until I know who I'm speaking with."
"Not important."
"Neither is my answer then."
A sudden slap surprises me. I can feel the sting spreading through my whole left side.
"Now, now, number Five, we do not hit our guests." Tall-dark-and-frightening says, scolding him, but a twinge of the upper lip lifts as in satisfaction, contradicting his words.
"Yes, Sir."
"I'm losing my patience here Miss Swan."
"But I don't know who that man is! That's what I'm trying to tell you."
"Yes you do...let me help you a bit...you know that little voice in your head that speaks to you? Helps you when you need it the most?"
"Yes?" I ask, shocked at how he knew all of that, the way he read me so easily, like an open book.
He doesn't answer, just grins evilly at me before turning his back on me, hands behind his back as he walks a few steps away from me.
"Now... Let me rephrase the question. Does the face in the picture look familiar to you? Answer carefully now," he adds, voice full of impatience.
I take another look at the picture, then him, his mannerism, then the picture again.
I see the resemblance between them...the hair, the nose...the way he ever so casually walks around me, watching, waiting...expecting to deliver his next move, whatever that is.
All of it feels so familiar. I get the sudden urge to caress the picture in front of me. Convince him that it will be alright. That I won't tell a thing. But I can't.
For all that I know, my past had caught up on me and is finally making me pay, for whatever I did.
"Now would be a good time for you to speak."
"I told you," I whisper. "I really don't know."
Mr. Tall-dark-and-frightening- lifts my chin up and looks directly at me. I flinch at the contact.
Moments feel like hours as he's gazing at my eyes expectantly. Patiently. Disturbingly. Menacingly.
"You're really telling the truth, aren't you?" he adds, still looking at me. Not waiting for an answer this time.
Disappointment written in his eyes, he adds, "Too bad. Such a pretty, young face. It's almost a shame to ruin it."
Moments later, he lets go of my face.
"Let her go."
"But, Sir..."
"Let her go. Did you not hear me? She is no use to us."
"Maybe if we just try to..."
A shot in the head is quickly fired, and number five lays instantly on the ground, blood spilling from the wound,spreading all over the floor.
I scream in horror, but am instantly kept quiet by a hand on my mouth.
"Number four; get rid of him. And her. Now. I don't want to know how or where just...go. Leave."
And with that last note, he is the one who walks away.
So...what do you think? Boring? Dull? Interesting?
If so, next chapter will reveal even more, so...stay tuned... ;)