Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and the song in this chapter belongs to Jaymes Young.
Chapter 21: Second chances.
Itachi looked around, watching her small room, the decor was simple with wine and cream tones and he felt comfortable in that space, there was a bed big enough for two, a messy desk, a bookcase full of books, scrolls and many photo frames.
He glanced briefly at the photos, the first was her genin team, where she was between Sasuke and Uzumaki who seemed obviously displeased, with Kakashi above her smiling under the mask. The second photo was hers in a jounin uniform with the parents next to her smiling proudly. Another photo was Sakura with a blue-eyed blonde girl he did not recognize, both in white coats. Another photo was her in the jounin uniform next to the heir Nara's clan and a Hyuuga, he did not miss the way the Hyuuga's arm tightened around her waist and how close they was, he don't liked. Another picture was Sakura in her ANBU uniform next to two masked men he assumed were the last to leave the apartment a short time ago. The last picture was of Sakura next to the Hokage and another woman with black hair, holding a pig, he would ask about the pig later. He realized that he lost a lot of her life and wondered how much he could recover.
Sasuke entered the room and closed the door behind him, using it as a back rest. He did not know what to think or how to act in that situation. He felt angry for his brother and knew that he was carrying out an order directly from the Hokage and one of the council members made him able to direct some of the hatred to the people responsible, but it did not change the fact that he had murdered their parents, leaving him, alone with a terribly painful wound behind. Sasuke knew that he would probably be in a very different place were it not for his team to have directed him to the right way. He was confused and irritated.
He saw the way Itachi looked at Sakura, he did not miss the mark that was on her neck, even though she was covering it with the hair. He saw the exchanges of eyes and hand rests to know that there was more and that irritated him without end, but he did not know if it was because he wanted Sakura to act like that with himself or if it was because she was much closer to his brother's that he never was. Everything was even more confusing and he had an annoying and throbbing headache.
Sasuke's presence in the bedroom made Itachi feel remorse and happiness at the same time, it was a strange feeling. "I'm so sorry." He said before anything. He knew it was not enough, but he needed to start somewhere and Sasuke deserved at least that from him. "I'm really sorry."
Sasuke felt the eyes burn and could not stop a tear from falling. "Not enough." He said stubbornly, but there was no fire in his voice.
Itachi nodded and stepped cautiously forward, as if approaching a wild animal. He sighed heavily. "My intention was for you to kill me." He said in a neutral tone, thinking about what he would say next. He walked over to a wine-colored chair beneath the window and sat down, motioning for Sasuke to sit on the bed in front of him. He had a lot to say to redeem himself and that was just the beginning.
I thought I saw the devil this morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning to help me see myself clearer
Sasuke sat in the bed and for the first time in years, he looked Itachi in the eyes, without fear or anger, there was only curiosity and a numbing sensation as if that was not even real. "I'm listening."
Itachi kept the eyes on his. "I wanted you to move on. I thought that making you hate me would give you a good perspective, a goal to live."
"Of killing you?" Sasuke snorted. "Your plan worked. All that I had thought of in the past few years was how I would avenge our clan when I bathed in your blood." He gritted the teeth.
Itachi nodded. "Sakura said I was wrong." Itachi did not lose the way Sasuke narrowed the eyes at that statement. "She said you would hate yourself if you found out that you killed me when I was just complying an order."
"She's always been the most reasonable of the team." Sasuke joked. He stopped to think about it, about how he would feel if he killed Itachi and then discovered the whole truth. He agreed that he would surely go completely mad. "You'll not admit that you was wrong, are you?!" He asked with obvious sarcasm in voice.
"I've made a lot of mistakes, little brother. Today is just the first day that I'll be redeemed for the rest of my life." Itachi said sincerely, surprising Sasuke. "But I can't bring our parents back... Our clan... I can't give back what I stole from you."
Sasuke nodded. He suffered every day since he was nine years old whenever he thought about the loss of his clan and his family at the hands of his own brother, but he never wondered how Itachi felt because he thought Itachi had done everything on a whim in a lapse of insanity, but now knowing that his brother was complying orders, he did not know how to think. He felt a lump in the throat at the thought of the hell Itachi had lived all this years too. When he looked up and saw Itachi looking at him, he felt compassion.
I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man today
"You wanted me to kill you." Sasuke stated with a little disbelief in voice.
Itachi nodded. "You would reach peace and I would have what I deserved. It would be fair to both of us."
"And if I found out everything after killing you? If Sakura saw I killing you?" Sasuke said what came to mind, without think before. He was beginning to feel the walls breaking inside him. He wanted to hear everything, he wanted the unspoken truths all these years, he wanted the clarity that was denied him for so long.
Itachi laughed lightly and Sasuke felt the eyes widen with that sound. He had not seen Itachi smile or laugh in years and felt like he was eight years old again. "Sakura said exactly the same thing." Itachi kept the smile on face. "It seems like I wasn't so wise at thirteen how everyone thought I was."
Sasuke blinked a few times when he saw that side of Itachi that he did not even remember existed. "You planned this at thirteen and sustained for all this time?" He asked in a low voice.
Itachi kept the same upright posture and arms on the armrest but deep down he wanted to pull Sasuke in a tight hug. He restrained himself. "It was the only certainty I had. Keep you alive, close to Sakura, until the time came when you would kill me and have peace with yourself."
"You're a fool." Sasuke snapped before he could stop.
Itachi raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Be careful with the words, little brother, I'm still the oldest." He scolded and held himself so far as he could to keep the cold front and hide a smile that desperately wanted to escape. He was proud that Sasuke had grown up and become a brave man.
"Hn." Sasuke crossed the arms over his chest and raised the head slightly in an act of rebellion. He did not know if it was just an impression, but the thick air in the room had completely dissipated.
"I was sick." Itachi said after a few seconds of silence. "Dying."
Sasuke uncrossed the arms and felt his eyes widen in surprise. "That's why it did not matter if I killed you."
Itachi nodded. "Sakura is healing me." He said. "She'll also fix my sharingan. I'm practically blind, my vision is slowly fading."
Sasuke was surprised by this information. He felt an unexpected relief at the knowledge that Sakura had reached Itachi in time to save him. He was even more confused at having these feelings when before long he could only feel disgust for the person in front of him. He was intrigued by Itachi relying on him to expose such a weakness. He felt the bond of trust between them restoring little by little.
My past has tasted bitter for years now
So I will deny and face
Grace is just weakness o r so I've been told
I've been cold, I've been merciless
"There's another Uchiha alive." Itachi thought it was helpful for Sasuke to know this information.
Sasuke realized that this conversation was full of surprises. "How?"
Itachi understood the intent of the question. "He helped me in the massacre." Itachi said in a low voice, feeling heavy on him as he remembered that night. "I met him on a mission. He wore a mask and claimed to be Uchiha Madara."
"Madara has been dead for a long time." Sasuke said incredulously.
Itachi nodded. "I also think so. This man was an Uchiha who took me to Akatsuki."
"Does anyone know of his existence?" Sasuke asked curiously.
"Sakura." Itachi stated.
"Don't involve her any more in all this." Sasuke said angrily.
"Hn. Sakura knows how to take care of herself, little brother." Itachi replied. "She planned to be caught."
Sasuke frowned, remembering everything Tsunade had yelled at her in the office that morning and now it all made sense. Sakura stole the scroll from the Council herself, she probably planned to be captured just to bring Itachi back. "You allowed her to stay at the base of the enemy, surrounded by dangerous missing ninjas." He said in a low, heavy voice of indignation.
"If you know Sakura like I know, you know there's nothing to stop her from doing something when she puts it in her mind." Itachi said in a calm voice that irritated Sasuke much more.
"If you care so much about her, you should have found a way to get her back." Sasuke replied.
"You're implying that I didn't take care of her." Itachi said in a dangerously low voice and Sasuke realized that he had crossed a line and was surprised for the tenth time that morning that Itachi could be so out of control when it came to Sakura. "Sakura is one of the most powerful kunoichis among the five nations. She would break your arm if yshe heard you treating her like a glass doll."
Sasuke knew he was right in his last statement but refused to agree. "I'll protect her too much as I can."
But the blood on my hands
Scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today
"She is mine." Itachi said with a smile at the corner of his mouth.
"That's what that mark on her neck means." Sasuke said angrily.
Itachi's smile widened. "You've become an insightful shinobi, little brother."
"Hn. Sakura doesn't belong to anyone. She is her own person." Sasuke said with intent to annoy his older brother, but something warmed his chest with pride at Itachi's recognition. He yearned for it when he was a child.
"Sakura belongs to me." Itachi said seriously leaning slightly forward and Sasuke smiled, happy to get the reaction he wanted from him. He knew how much Itachi had been possessive since childhood. So was he.
"She's my teammate." Sasuke leaned forward, the elbows on his knees. "My friend, my ..."
"Don't cross the line, little brother." Itachi warned. "I'm willing to spend the rest of my days redeeming myself for everything that made you suffer, but Sakura is still mine." He leaned back in the chair again hoping that all that talk coming from his brother was just provocation as he thought it was. He'd already taken too much of Sasuke.
Sasuke really wanted to annoy his brother, but he did not expect Itachi to be so serious about it. He did not know if he was happy that Itachi cared for Sakura so much, because she was important to him too, or that he was irritated by the relationship between them being so profound.
When a knock on the door echoed through the room he decided to think about it later, after all, if Itachi stayed around, they would have all the time in the world to sort things out.
For all of the light that I've shout out
For all of the innocent things that I've doubt
For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years
"Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt." Sakura said shyly, putting her head in the crevice of the door she had just opened. "Naruto is devouring everything."
"That dobe." Sasuke said angrily and walked towards the door. He glanced over his shoulder for Itachi to follow. He took Sakura's hand, pleased with the riveted look on his older brother's face and headed for the kitchen pulling her with him.
Everyone sat around the table and Itachi felt the mouth salivate with the breads and cakes that were on the table and wondered how long they'd been talking in te room if Sakura had time to prepare all that. Sakura looked at him with a smile. "One of Naruto's bunshin went to get everything at the corner bakery." She giggled and filled a plate with several sandwiches, pies and sweets for him.
"Thanks." He said as he took the plate and served tea for her.
He looked at the blonde guy filling his mouth with food and shook the head at the lack of manners. He reached for a glass and filled it with red juice that was in a jar, knowing exactly what it was and almost smiled with the surprised face of Sasuke as he handed the glass to him. "Tomato juice."
"It's his favorite." Sakura said with a wink.
"Why don't you do my favorite too, Sakura-chan?" Naruto complained.
"You can eat ramen for dinner." She said irritably as she filled his plate with more pies. "Now eat it."
Naruto smiled at her and Itachi thought he had gone totally blind with the brightness of his smile directed at her. For a moment he thought they looked like a family, completely dysfunctional, but a family. "Are you staying with Teme?" Naruto asked as if Itachi were an old acquaintance.
"Teme, would be Sasuke?" He asked uncertainly.
"He is the Teme for you." Naruto smacked Sasuke's shoulder that almost knocked the juice down on the table.
"Dobe, I'm going to kill you." Sasuke said angrily, closing a fist toward Naruto's blond head.
"If you start fighting, I'll throw the two of you out." Sakura said in an incredibly low voice between clenched teeth.
"Sorry." The two muttered and went back to eating in silence.
"You can stay here." Sakura said to Itachi who nodded at her.
"You only have one room, Sakura-chan." Naruto said innocently.
Sasuke knew very well where his brother was going to sleep and almost laughed at Sakura's red face.
"He can sleep on the couch." She replied trying to disguise the obvious embarrassment. "Unless you want to be together." She looked between Sasuke and Itachi.
"He can stay here until I get a bigger place. My apartment is smaller than yours and I dob't have a couch or futon extras." Sasuke replied after wiping the mouth with a napkin.
Itachi nodded and smiled slightly at his brother. He knew he had not been completely forgiven but the possibility that Sasuke might accept him in the future was already a satisfactory begin.
Yeah, for all the sparks that I've stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I've doubt
After eating and cleaning the kitchen together. Naruto put on his sandals and looked at Sakura. "Thank you for the food, Sakura-chan. I'll be back tomorrow to do your shopping."
"I want to know if you're eating right." Sakura snapped as she walked toward him. "I cleaned your place earlier, when Shishou said you were coming back, but I bet you haven't kept clean since you came back that mission." She narrowed the eyes as he scratched the back of the neck nervously and that gesture reminded her of a certain masked Uchiha.
"I promise I'll clean up." He smiled and kissed her forehead before running out of the apartment.
Sakura smiled unconsciously at his clowns. She loved Naruto like a brother and she missed caring for him like when they were kids. She looked at Sasuke and smiled. "I bet you kept the yours clean."
"By the way, thank you for cleaning." Sasuke said with a small smile and she nodded.
She went into the bedroom and came out with a towel in her hand ready to take a decent shower because the bath in the river she had taken that morning did not compare to the bath in the bathtub she had been craving for more than a week. "I'll leave you both alone. Be civilized like good Uchihas." She blinked before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving the two brothers in the living room.
I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times I never could
Itachi sat on the couch and Sasuke followed him keeping a distance between them. "Is there anything else you want to know?"
Sasuke leaned the head against the back of the couch and closed the eyes tightly. "How did you have to kill them?" He asked in a low, unsteady voice.
Itachi felt the chest ache. "I can show you." He said firmly and Sasuke looked at him and after a long moment nodded.
He activated the sharingan and allowed Sasuke to watch everything he did that fateful night, but this time there was no manipulation like when he was a child, this time he allowed his brother to see through the memory he had since Shisui's sacrifice at the waterfall, all the pain and anguish he felt as he shoved a kunai into the heart of each sleeping child, the way his stomach fluttered whenever an Uchiha woke up and turned on the lights of houses and he had to watch the terrified eyes of his victims fade when life left their bodies.
He show the flashes from when he saw by far the masked Uchiha to kill with coolness and no hesitation every citizen who tried to escape through the streets of the district. At the end of it all he showed the way he hesitated when see his parents kneel before him, only after Fugaku's words he had to thrust a sword into the heart of his parents and watch his mother's body fall on his father's body while the blood dripped from his hands.
Sasuke watched through Itachi's perspective when himself, of nine years old, came through the doors of the house with a smile and Itachi had to act like an insane traitor to convince the little brother that this was the real Itachi, to made him believe that he was a terrible person all the time. He felt the pain burning in his brother's chest and the heat of a tear trickling down his face when Itachi turned and left him lying in a pool of blood in front of the house where one day they lived like a happy family.
When he thought that was over, Danzo's terrified face appeared and he saw from Itachi's perspective that seemed to be hidden by a mask and a cape, threatening Danzo to keep the hands away from his little brother. He saw the guilt on Hiruzen's face when Itachi knelt before him and declared the success of the mission and the weight of overwhelming guilt when Itachi looked at Konoha from a pillar before disappearing into the darkness of the night to accompany the masked man in what would be his new life.
When the tomoe of the sharingan stopped spinning and the vision dissipated, Sasuke gasped and breathed heavily.
Itachi raised the right hand toward him and for a second Sasuke thought he would touch his forehead as he always did, but when he felt Itachi's hand cupping his neck to bring the forehead to his, he lost control of all emotions and a strangled sob echoed through the silent room. When Itachi pulled Sasuke's head to sink into his chest, Sasuke cried.
Itachi hugged him tightly and stroked his dark hair, just as he did when Sasuke was a child and woke up in the middle of the night scared of a nightmare.
In the bathroom Sakura buried the head between her knees and cried silently.
Note: This song describes perfectly how I see Itachi in this story.