Watari followed a fuming L into Mello's bedroom. The door was shut and locked. Kira sat on the floor by the balcony doors, his legs pulled to his chest and his face down, only looking up when the two entered the room. He was so glad to see his Master L and Watari. People had been in the room! When he saw his Master enter the room he flew to him, wrapping his arms around his waist instinctively. "Master."
L cut him off quickly. "Not now Kira." L pushed him off and bit into his thumb nail, the wheels in his turning. Roger could be so infuriating! As well as Watari. "I can't believe you." He admitted in an accusing tone. "Or Matt. That boy is no longer a successor of mine. Not anymore. He betrayed me. He allowed himself to be caught on purpose. I know he did."
" I doubt Matt met you any real harm. I told you this was a possibility." He gave a heavy, fearful sigh, "It would not surprise me if there was an uprising from all of your followers." L's shoulders squared at the thought but he said nothing and so Watari kept talking, "You can't be angry with Matt. He was doing what he believed was right. He's just a child."
"Those", L laughed, "are not children. They were handpicked by us to take my place someday. To be Justice. A warning before he threw me out to the alligators would have been nice."
Watari could only take so much. "Oh L." He said. "He told you he did not want to do this. He told you he didn't agree with the idea. You knew from the beginning what you were risking by asking him to place cameras about the school. If you want to be angry with anyone," he pointed a finger straight at L, "try starting with yourself."
L sat end of the bed, pulling his knees to his chest. The springs bounced softly under his wait as he looked unbelievably up at the man who had single handedly raised him. L tried to explain how it wasn't his fault why this plan went wrong. "This setback is not my fault. I thought Matt would-"
"What?" The old man interrupted, "Obey you without a single question, thought or opinion? These boys are not robots L, they have a mind of their own. It's about time they started using them. Perhaps that is where I went wrong with you…"
L looked up into the eyes of Watari. He saw the wrinkles and the sagging skin. Watari sighed heavily, "Perhaps all of this is my fault."
"What are you saying?"
"Look at you. You've went against Interpol. My advice. Roger. Even Justice itself to have what you wanted. You're whole life I've kept you on a leash. Kept you from socially interacting with others. I taught you everything I could think of that one must know in this dangerous business but… I guess I forgot empathy. Loyalty. Trust. Sympathy. I forgot to show you how to be human."
L's dark eyes blinked. "Watari those things are not taught. It's instinct."
"No L, it's taught. If you're never shown it, how can you know what it is? That's where I went wrong. I thought by keeping you impassive to the world, you would not feel desire to go lenient on those who did not deserve it. I thought it would keep you strong against thieves, murderers, convicts and the like. Instead it's turned you into a criminal yourself. I lost count on the rules you've broken starting the day you faked his death."
L's eyes widened and Kira watched from where he stood almost between them. A moment passed before Watari began again, "You're harboring the most dangerous man on the face of the planet. You have put us all in danger this time. I don't know if I can sit by and watch you develop into this arrogant, selfish man that you have seemed to become any longer."
"Watari if you don't like my methods, then I suggest you get out."
"I will." Watari-no-Quillish Wammy- stepped to the door. As his hand laid upon the handle firmly, slowly turning it, he spared a quick glance over at the one wearing the collar. "And you call him the animal."
Kira winced as the door slammed shut, then turned to his Master to see his reaction. L watched the door close with wide eyes as his heart pounded in that oh so familiar rhythm. …Mon-ster… It beat continuously as he stared at the door. Watari had never walked out on him. Not really.
L brought two fingers to his temple, standing and taking a few steps away from Kira as he tried to ignore the way he could now feel himself splitting into two pieces. He was torn. So torn between the things he was taught and the guilt and the frustration welling inside of him, mixed with more emotions he didn't even know the names of.
It doesn't matter what I feel, he thought, trying to convince and justify himself against Watari's outlandish accusation. It doesn't matter if he was a father figure for me my whole life. That doesn't make him right. Kira was already an animal when he asked to be a pet. I just made him mine.
Matt should have followed orders as he was told by a superior. Matt was out of line, betraying the entire name of L. And Interpol, the UN, and every country deceived by Kira's faked death are nothing. They didn't catch the criminals. They didn't risk their very lives. No. That was L Lawliet behind the many fake names they gave him. It was always, always, L Lawliet who caught the criminals…He gave up his life to be L..
Yet, somehow, despite what L was struggling to keep believing, when he looked back at Kira, who was watching him with honest worry etched in his features, the boy's amber eyes reflected like a mirror once again, and L could see his own black eyes shinning inside light shades of amber.
Monster.
Monster.
But he's a criminal! I'm justice. They made me justice. I didn't ask for it like he did! He's Kira, and I'm Justice and I've won. And Matt is… Matt is unpredictable. If he is thinking on his own and acting on his own, then he's a loose cannon that can't be trusted.
But again, L looked into Kira's eyes. They were confused and hurt, but mostly scared. They worried for L.
Remembering how they had sex, and how it was offered to him, given away like a gift, he lifted his hand to feel the bulky, metal collar around Kira's thin neck. The little tracking light was flashing a faint red, as if this trained dog would dare go anywhere…
Kira took L's hand. "Master.." He wanted to tell his Master L everything. That it was all okay now because he knew who the owner of the notebook was. He'd seen him in person and saw that he had no life span. He wanted to tell him what he thought to be the truth about the Death Note Matt had brought him. He was finally useful, but Master L only kept hushing him to be quiet until suddenly, Master L was crying.
Such small tears fell from L's eyes that they were hardly tears at all. He was so torn between himself mentally that he physically ached inside. He wanted to vomit and he didn't know why.
Kira froze at this. He dropped his Master's hand as L began to speak, "I am leaving you here alone again. I need to speak to Watari. Stay in this room. I will know if you leave. Understood?"
"Yes, Master. But I need to tell you-"
"Not now."
Kira knew his Master was hurting, but he also knew that he had to tell him now. It was important. "Please, I know who-"But L had already pushed Kira out of his way as he left to find Watari, shutting and locking the door on the way out.
Kira stood their a long while thinking. He knew who the one L was looking for was. The boy stood in this very room today. Closing his eyes, Kira pictured the boy's face perfectly, for he forced himself to remember as much as possible. He recalled how their eyes met like a whispered secret between them. The one with no life span.
Somehow, finding the willpower, the strength in mind and body, Kira moved his feet, taking tiny baby steps across the room to the hidden panel behind the wall. He knew what he had to do as he turned to the shinigami floating just behind him. "You've seen him open this haven't you, Ryuk? What's the combination to the safe the two Death Notes are in? It would take me too long to go through every possibility."
Ryuk laughed his usual cackle, "Why should I tell you that?"
Kira squared his shoulders and spoke in a deep domineering voice, "Because if you don't I will go to the bathroom, break the mirror, use the broken pieces to slit my wrists and die. If I'm dead you won't get to stick around here in the human world. You will miss the sure to be interesting ending to all of this. It would be a shame really, to make it this far and not get to see the final ending."
The kid had a good point. "Alright. Alright. I don't remember it all. It was something like 6-24-32."
Kira blinked. " In that order? Left or right?"
" I don't know. That's all I can remember."
Kira turned back to the little combination lock on the safe. He took it in his hand, analyzing the dial before sighing. "I'll have to try all the possibilities out one at a time…It might take me a little while, but I think I can do this for him."
I can finally be useful.
Matt found Mello face down in Kei's pillow. It was the only place Mello could have privacy. Matt looked at his unmade bed and felt his stomach tighten as he knew Mello purposely fell into Kei's bed.
"Mello I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, you have to know that." Matt waited for Mello to speak. Seconds passed and nothing came. "I care about you. You know that."
Still, there came nothing from the blonde who lay on the bed, face down on the pillow, shoulders shaking almost invisibly. Matt knew he was crying and he knew it took a hell of a lot to make the tough Mello cry.
"I'm sorry." He confessed, remembering how he pulled away during the kiss when remembering Mello. "I don't know why I did it."
This irked a response from the blonde. He sat up in what seemed like warp speed to the gamer, "You don't know why you kissed a cold blooded serial killer?" He demanded.
Matt froze. He hadn't expected that. "No."
"You are such a liar, Matt!" Mello gave a shaky laugh before running his fingers through his hair and wiping his face. "Did he get close to you during that time at L's?"
Matt couldn't lie about that. Kira and Matt played what L called "fetch", and they played tennis together. Though Kira was quiet during the games he at times held small smirks to himself when Matt barely tapped the ball with his racket. But this was not something Mello wanted to hear. "He's my friend."
Mello shook his head. He could not believe his ears. "You kissed him."
"It was a mistake." It felt weird admitting that; like a betrayal to Kira. But for Matt a betrayal to Mello was much worse. He knew the kiss was wrong even when he was kissing him. It was a loss of control during a moment that was running on pure adrenaline. He would have kissed anyone sitting there at the time. He was excited someone was listening without interrupting to tell him how great L was, or how fantastic it would be to actually be L. How great it would be to be justice, put away criminals, and not just the one who sets up the cameras, voice recorders, tracking devices and hacks into systems.
Matt felt like a somebody with Kira.
Mello's voice dropped to an acidic tone. "Well, I hate to be bearer of bad news, but your friend took innocent lives. People who could have had a second chance."
Matt sighed, angry at Mello for shoving that back at his face. "You honestly think I could forget? Near reminded me five dozen times within the last two days. I know what he is. I also know who he is. I also know you are the one I care about most. Be mad if you want, Mello. Dude, even hate me for this. Just don't desert me, alright? Not now."
Mello scooted over on the bed so that Matt, who felt like crying too, could sit beside him, "I am mad at you, Matt. I feel like you tricked me."
"I didn't trick you."
"You did. You made it seem as though you were just trying to prove L had Kira alive upstairs; a dangerous thing. But that wasn't it. You were wanting to help, weren't you? You thought we'd all be on your side and then together we would all go tell Roger on L."
"I had no intentions on tricking you Mello. Why do you think I finally admitted he was alive? From the beginning I wanted to help him. As well as L. L isn't-"
"Shut up. Stop blaming L. Kira is a killer. That's where the word Kira derives from." Mello looked up and strait into Matt's eyes, "And you put your mouth on it."
Matt looked away embarrassed, his cheeks flushed. His voice whispered, "You make him sound like something dirty."
"He is something dirty. He has blood all over his hands. And you want me to break him free. I can't believe you."
"He doesn't know the severity of what he's done is all. I don't think he is all that bad. Maybe he was just misguided."
"Oh my god! Now your making excuses for him.."
Matt frowned. "Not everything is black and white Mello."
"You don't know what's under that collar Matt. You're just feeling sorry for him. If you knew the severity of what he's done you wouldn't feel this way."
Matt was tired of these long conversations and arguments. He took a deep breath and declared, "I asked you to follow me.. I still am. I need you in this."
Mello tried to side with him. He just couldn't. "I already followed you once Matt. And you lied. I can't do it again."
L opened Watari's door very slowly, peeking into the room before entering. Watari was packing a suitcase. He had heard the door, "If you can do this without me, L. Do it without me."
L frowned as he watched the old man stuff socks, shirts, and ties into the black case followed by books, a picture frame of a woman L never knew the name of, and a journal. "Watari.. I never meant to be so cold to you."
"L I raised you. You are a man now. You make your own decisions."
"I do. I Will. You made me Justice. I will continue to be so."
Watari closed his eyes. He was so tired and frustrated with all of this mess. "L get rid of him if you want to keep yourself safe. As well as the children."
"Kira is not going to harm anyone."
"No? If he falls into the hands of this new Kira?"
L shrugged as if it didn't matter. "He takes orders from only me."
"He has a brain L. You are the Master and you are in control. What happens if the Master is no longer in control? I ask you that."
Sighing, and shutting the door behind him, L made his way over next to Watari. "You are worrying far too much. No more murders have even been committed recently. I have both Death Notes. Therefore, everything is in my control."
Watari shook his head and he closed the case. "You seem so sure of yourself. As if you could never be wrong."
"I am never wrong, Watari."
Watari frowned as he turned to L, facing him with deep sympathy. "I am sorry, L. I wish you the best of luck. I own this school, and I will trust you to find this new killer and to prosecute him, however, I will not stand by and watch. I can't stand it no longer. I won't be apart of…. Of…."
L looked on in horror as Watari suddenly lost his breath and clutched his chest. His eyes watered at the corners. He began to crumble to his knees but L caught him and lowered him safely to the floor. "Watari! Watari look at me, don't close your eyes."
But the man was already gone. He left the world now, quicker than he had come into it. He was still as L clutched at him, screaming at him to hold on. "Please… Hold on Quillish. Hold on. For me. Hold on."
L started to grab for the cell phone in his back pocket to call for help but he knew the man was gone. He knew it was too late and his hand fell from his pocket limply. Single tears spilled down his cheeks. He pulled Watari closer to his chest, the only man who had been there almost his entire life, and cried against the shoulder. "Quill… Quill no… No. No no no…" He could say nothing else as he ached. Physically, ached.
He couldn't breath. He couldn't get enough air! Like a little boy he wiped at the tears burning in his eyes. How could Watari do this? How could he die now? He never needed him more than any other moment in his life than right then.
Wait.
The wheels in his brain began to turn slowly, beginning to work again.
A heart attack?
This new person. But how? L had their Death Note…
Quickly he scrambled up to his feet and ran, stumbling over his own steps and almost falling down twice, back to the room with Kira. He unlocked the door, slinging it open to see-
Kira standing there. The Death Note in his hands. A pen in his left. Ryuk, floating behind Kira, smirked playfully. "Uh oh, Kira."
L saw red and blue.
Grief and anger.
They mixed liked deadly, poisonous chemicals inside his veins, spreading with every thump of his heart.
Kira turned his head to L, the pen in his hand paused quickly, "Master I-"
He didn't have time to finish. L was on him in a matter of two seconds. L flew at him, grabbed him by the shoulders and slung him up against the wall. "What the hell have you done!"
Kira's face contorted with fear. "I-I-" His words were cut off when L punched him square in the jaw. He slid to the floor as his hands flew to his face out of instinct and he rubbed his aching jaw. "Master…please.." He whispered. "I only wanted to help. You said, you said, y-you wanted help."
Not listening, L had grabbed him again, slinging him this time down onto the chest board on the table with a bang. The little pieces went scattering to the floor. The remaining pawns pressed into Kira's back painfully, bruising the skin and mashing into his shoulder blades. The laptop flipped off the edge, landing onto the floor.
"What the hell have you done!" L screamed at him once again.
"You don't understand! It's not-" Once again he was cut off as L's fingers wrapped tightly around his throat. Purple was all L Lawliet could see through his anguished tears. He had never experienced raw emotion like this. "You killed him! He took up for you and now he's dead. What have you done?"
Kira didn't understand. All he knew was that he couldn't breath. His fingers scratched at his Master's, trying with any strength that he could find to pry them off. His feet swung back and forth, he couldn't feel the floor. God the chess pieces were killing him! L was killing him!
"How could you do it? How could you kill Watari!"
Kira heard that. His eyes widened in shock. Ryuk was laughing so much it seemed as if he was going mad.
" I should have killed you from the very start1" L screamed through his tears with a deep hatred, "I should have locked you up the day I first set my eyes on you, you murderous bastard." L squeezed harder with every word he spat at Kira.
Something inside Kira snapped like a twig. A voice was back in his head with no recognizable owner but his own.
Go for the eyes. Whispered the voice. You'll die.
Kira fought against it. No! It'll hurt Master!
L's fingers tightened if it was possible.
You're running out of oxygen…
He just doesn't understand.
Fight. You'll die. I'll die.
I'll die!
It was a rough and challenging struggle, but Kira got his hands to reach up to L's face. With his fingers bent, the nails scratched across the surface of L's skin at first, before digging in and drawing blood out of L's cheeks, forehead and just below his left eye. Out of pain, L cried out and was forced to let go in order to protect them.
Gasping for breath, Kira sprung up from the table and ran, the voice dying away. He reached the balcony doors with nowhere to go. He turned on his heals and they faced one another, L staring into his eyes. Both panted, standing still.
L spoke first, "You are a killer. I should have listened to him about you. I never should have allowed you to live. I should have left you in that cell."
Kira said nothing as he totally agreed. "You don't understand." He breathed, frightened to his very core. Watari dead? "You don't understand…" He said again. "I didn't…" Watari? "No I couldn't… I'm not the one…"
L wasn't listening anymore. He cornered Kira, grabbed his arms easily, as Kira wasn't putting up much of a fight anymore, and positioned them behind the pet's back. L promised, "When this is over, you will face the death penalty as you should have. If I don't lose my temper again and shoot you directly in the face myself."
L cuffed Kira. "But you don't understand." Kira begged. "I didn't do it. I didn't. I couldn't have killed anyone." He desperately tried to make L see it.
L pushed him to the floor. Then leaving the pet a moment, he searched for and found the cloth bag from the plane ride, as well as the gauze from the first aid kit. "Please!" Kira continued, though L was refusing to hear him out. "I can explain what I was doing. That's not my Death Note. That's the one Matt found. You have to know. It's a fa-" L stuffed the gauze into the boy's mouth and stuffed the bag over his head muffling any sounds.
L took a deep breath. He was hurting so bad and he was so angry. How could he leave Kira alone with the Death Notes? Watari had paid the price for L's incompetence. He hung his head sadly, tears spilling down again.
He had to find Roger. First, he had to make sure Kira didn't do anything else. He found the chains Kira wore on the plane at the back of the closet, then carefully and as quick as his hands could move he chained Kira's feet and hands, connecting them with a single, thick medal chain.
Satisfied, L stood and left the room. He locked the door, put the key in his back pocket and ran towards Roger's office to save time. He didn't know what he would say. How he could explain everything he had done. He could only imagine the look of horror on Roger's face when he told him.
He didn't bother to knock, instead he burst through Roger's door with, "Roger! Something has happened. I need to tell you…."
Roger was slumped over his desk, face down.
L's skin crawled. No… His mind begged. No. He moved towards Roger, placing his hand onto the pulse point of his neck. "No. No, You can't be."
"But he is."
Shocked at the voice behind him, L turned to face the voice's owner when something unseen, something powerful hit him on top of the head. The pain ran through his skull, down his spine and into his teeth.
Then the world turned black.
Kira trembled as the door slammed shut, causing the chains to rattle all around him. His brain felt like a spider web again. So many thoughts and feelings were running around inside of him. He could hear Ryuk's laughter dying down from somewhere in the room.
"Didn't quite go as you planned did it?" Ryuk taunted. "Nor did any of your plans if you really think about it." Ryuk burst into another round of laughter.
So easily amused… Kira thought.
The sound of the door unlocking and creaking open jerked Kira's head up to listen and shut Ryuk up.
Suddenly, footsteps made their way towards Kira very, very slowly. He shivered. He remembered those footsteps from today. He knew who was in front of him, but this wasn't the person with out a life span. His heartbeat sped up as cold fingers slipped under the cloth, and removed it from his head.
"God." The voice whispered.
Kira blinked fiercely against the bright light as he stared up at the small kid. The one with the name Nate Rivers floating in red letters above his head.